Thriving in Turbulent Times: A Practical Guide for Alleviating Stress and Elevating Perspective, Purpose & Passion

By John J. Bush

“A powerful and simple set of tools to help you thrive in every aspect of life. No matter how difficult the challenges and hardships you face, the profound practices taught in this book will change your life for the better.”
--Dr. Matt Townsend, Sirius/XM Radio Show Host and Author of Starved Stuff: Feeding the 7 Basic Needs of Healthy Relationships

On this journey of life we all struggle at times with internal interference--such as fear, self-doubt, stress, and overwhelm--which can sap our energy and block us from tapping into our inner greatness. This book is about a simple, yet powerful set of tools that will help you identify and remove the interference so that you can connect with your gifts and talents and perform at your best.

Over the last 20 years, John Bush has taught personal development workshops to a wide audience ranging from college students to corporate executives to couples striving to improve their marriage. Through these varied teaching and coaching experiences he noticed that when we are facing challenging times and stressful situations our internal interference usually escalates making it more difficult to see and think clearly. The practices in this book can help you be calm and clear on the inside so you can thrive--even while the storms rage outside.

These transformational tools will help you:
1) Overcome adversity
2) Alleviate stress in your life
3) Increase your energy and mental clarity
4) Improve your overall health
5) Identify and remove stumbling blocks that are holding you back
6) Elevate your perspective, purpose, and passion
7) Tap into your inner greatness.

When Michelangelo was carving the statue of David he said, “Every block of stone has a statue inside it and it is the task of the sculptor to discover it. I saw the angel in the marble and carved to set him free.” Similarly, the tools and practices in this book are designed to help you carve away the rough edges so that you can set yourself free.

Author’s Note: While this book is designed to be a self-improvement guide, it is also intended to be a resource for coaches, teachers, organizational leaders, managers, parents, doctors, counselors, therapists--anyone who is looking to help others get to higher ground.

What people are saying about Thriving in Turbulent Times:
“I loved this book. Thriving in Turbulent Times provides the step-by-step processes and tools to deal with stress, tragedy and the other challenges which we all eventually face in life. For anyone struggling, this book is a road map to a better life.”
--Mark B.

“You know you have read a great book when you can’t stop thinking of all the people in your life who need a book like this.”
--Grace N.

“By applying the tools and techniques in this book I have seen great miracles occur in the lives of my own family. This book can change the world one individual at a time, just like it has for each member of my family. I would recommend this book to everyone!"
--Don F.

“I received more help from this book then all my years of counseling and AA meetings combined.”
--Joseph P.

“I'm so happy to have found this book. It will not only change the lives of those who read it, but it is a great resource for therapists, practitioners, coaches, and even workplace leaders. As a Life Coach, I personally have plans to give it to every single person I work with. It will change their lives!”
--Janet F.

• Language: English
• Publisher: John J. Bush
• Release date: Dec 14, 2013
• ISBN: 9781310486302

John J. Bush

John Bush is a performance consultant and leadership coach. His professional expertise is in helping people identify and remove the stumbling blocks that are holding them back from reaching their goals and living a more fulfilling life with passion, purpose, and inner peace. Prior to starting his own practice, he spent over sixteen years as a performance consultant and leadership coach in the human development field. After completing a Master’s Degree in Communication, he spent six years at Franklin Covey (a global training company specializing in performance improvement) and seven years at InsideOut Development (an international coaching organization). John has had the privilege of helping hundreds of individuals, teams, and organizations experience transformative breakthroughs. Some of his past corporate clients include: Procter & Gamble, NASA, Oracle, Honeywell, Texaco, Kraft, Westinghouse, Gap, Cadbury Schweppes, Nestle, Sprint, Pfizer, Motorola, the National Park Service, and the U.S. Department of Transportation.

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Preface

And then it happened. Things fell apart at an alarming speed, impacting just about every aspect of my life. Prior to this rather sudden turn of events I was working hard at trying to do all I could so that things would go well at home and with my career. But despite my efforts seemingly every front was being hit…and hit hard. This traumatic shift in life circumstances felt like a tsunami, and the after effects were very painful. My tsunami led me on a journey searching for higher ground. Within these pages are the culmination of years of extensive research on a whole host of techniques which focus on how to achieve inner peace and personal transformation amid serious adversity and chaos.

In every life the winds of adversity blow from time to time. Sometimes the storms that come our way can feel like a hurricane with total devastation on every front. This book is offered as a support guide for the battle-weary traveler, a light source for anyone searching for their inner greatness, and a pathway for those seeking a better way of living. This book is about profoundly simple, effective tools and practices that can help you thrive—even while the storms rage outside.

Notice I used the word simple to describe these practices. Having spent nearly two decades as a professional consultant and coach in the human development field, I have learned that when it comes to making a change in ourselves, if the help aids are not easy to understand and easy to apply, we simply won’t use them. You’ll find that what I’m teaching in this book passes that test. These are straightforward, practical approaches based on universal truths, principles of human biology, and scientific validity. If applied, these techniques and life skills can have a powerful, positive impact on the quality of your life.

Paradigms, Learned Behaviors, and False Beliefs

As a kid you could say I fit the stereotypical Type A personality which is to say that I was a good student, a planner and goal setter, achievement oriented, vigilant, and a hard worker. These characteristics have served me well over the years. Yet, the time came when I was caught in a sea of serious turmoil. As the boat started to take in water, the harder and more frantically I worked at holding things together. And yet, the harder I worked at it, the worse things seemed to get. You’ve heard the phrase, It’s like straightening deck chairs while the Titanic is going down. That is how my life felt for a stretch. It was a very difficult period.

Growing up in a home where love felt conditional, I learned early that performing well was the key to getting attention from Mom and Dad. Consequently I focused on my outward achievements. My father was a golf professional at a golf club in Northern California, and I grew up playing the game. By the age of nine I was competing in tournaments around Northern California. I got to be pretty good and won quite a few trophies in my youth. When I would overhear my Dad brag about my game to other club members I would well-up with pride and feel loved by my Dad in those moments.

My father grew up in an era when men were supposed to be tough, and by definition that meant you weren’t supposed to show much emotion. So outside of an occasional comment about my golf game, usually to others, I did not get too many expressions of affection from him. But I did notice his reaction when the straight A report card was put on the fridge, or when I won the MVP trophy on my basketball team, or when I got the lead in the school play. In those moments of achievement I received attention and praise from my parents.

As so often happens in childhood, I drew the conclusion at a young age that my self-worth was tied to external success measures. The belief system I learned was Perform well and you are worth something. Fail and you are worth much less. I carried this burdensome belief my entire life though I didn’t really realize it until the tsunami hit. It was through that difficult journey that I was finally able to notice the presence of this seductive lie.

In my coaching career I have discovered that this conditional belief system is very common. But is it any wonder? We find this warped paradigm being reinforced in every part of society including families, schools, advertising campaigns, businesses, and institutions. We are conditioned to look on the outside to determine how we should feel about ourselves on the inside.

It was around the summer of 2008 when every marker that I used to look at—to gauge if I was doing all right—began the steep decline. Of course my same old mental tapes were playing in my subconscious about my self-worth being tied to external things, making life even more miserable. Looking back, I can now see that it was by divine intervention that the scoreboard I used to watch so faithfully was torn right off the wall through a series of misfortunes that hit in a relatively short time period. At a certain point along the way I had a critical decision to make: Either buckle under the weight of adversity or change some of my paradigms about who I really was and what my life was about. I chose the latter, and my journey to higher ground began.

When an individual embarks on this kind of transformational journey it often starts with a severe hardship that causes one to look deep inside. This kind of honest introspection requires a measure of vulnerability and courage. It has been said that our willingness to be vulnerable is the most accurate measure of our courage. In my coaching career I have had the opportunity to see such acts of courage up close and personal. I have seen firsthand how the courage to be vulnerable is an essential part of transformational change.

Over the last 20 years I have taught personal improvement workshops to a wide audience ranging from college students to corporate executives to couples striving to improve their marriage. Through these varied teaching and coaching experiences I have discovered that many of us, if not most of us, wrestle with a few common denominators including fear, self-doubt, stress, and overwhelm. During such times of unease we often find ourselves looking for an extra edge to help us make it through the challenges we are facing.

My sincere hope is that this book will serve as that extra edge and be a helpful support guide for you on your journey.

John Bush

January 2014

~~~

Introduction

In Thornton Wilder’s play, The Angel that Troubled the Waters, the story is told of a physician at the Pool of Bethesda hoping to be healed of his melancholy. In one scene the angel appears and stirs the water but blocks the physician at the moment he is ready to step in and be healed. The physician draws back as the angel tells him that the moment is not for him. After the physician protests the angel explains, Without your wound, where would your power be? It is your very remorse that makes your low voice tremble into the hearts of men. The very angels themselves cannot persuade the wretched and blundering children on earth as can one human being broken on the wheels of living. In love’s service, only the wounded soldier can serve.

This story highlights one of life’s great lessons: Our battle wounds can offer us priceless nuggets of wisdom and increase our compassion for one another. While our individual stories and challenges vary, the themes of pain, loss, and suffering is something we all face on this walk through life.

Several years ago I felt prompted to write about some of my more challenging life experiences in a personal journal entitled I Know What It’s Like To… When I pulled together these experiences they were intended to be just for my personal learning, but I thought it would be helpful to include a few of these brief entries here. In the spirit of being open and authentic I share these journal entries as a way of offering you the reader a glimpse into my soul’s journey. My hope is that it will enhance your reading experience of this book. I believe when such authenticity is displayed by sharing our humanness—including our struggles, setbacks, and heartbreaks—we connect with each other in a way that is powerfully affirming and refreshingly honest. It is in that spirit of candidness that I share the following.

I know what it’s like…

…to see your companion’s life slipping away. At the hospital a doctor missed the sign of bacterial infection on the initial chest x-ray and discharged her with a simple case of the flu. Two days later her body went into septic shock which almost took her life.

…to be betrayed by those whom you trusted and lose your source of income over broken partnership agreements.

…to suffer through a severe setback which seemed to be no fault of your own and struggle with the fallout that lasts a long while.

…to feel like all the chips are down, and to feel stuck and out of solutions.

…to go into the unknown following a prompting, a gut feeling, and then find the new path you’ve chosen to be rocky and difficult for a lengthy period of time.

I learned during such periods of struggle that the misery and frustration can be softened by loosening my grip on the reins rather than trying to force more control on circumstances. I came to understand what the scripture means to Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10).

Through these experiences I discovered that sometimes sheer willpower, effort, and determination are not enough to get the bus rolling. On the journey of life there are those times when we may be ready to get driving, but the bus may still need a few more adjustments under the hood in order to get to where we need to go. I have learned that patience and faith are often the best answers to our most difficult challenges. However, learning to exercise patience and faith can be a brutal process indeed!

After experiencing deep personal loss, I discovered that truly forgiving others is a critical step toward achieving internal peace. Retribution may be our first inclination, and may even feel good in the short term, but it rarely provides the kind of healing we are really after. Only true forgiveness can provide that.

Working through my darkest hours, I learned that light is actually not found in trying to run away from the darkness but rather, light and wisdom comes from leaning into it. While that may sound counterintuitive, renowned author and scholar Dr. Brené Brown came to a similar conclusion with over ten years of research supporting her declaration: The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.

When things fall apart in our lives and we find ourselves in the dark—feeling overwhelmed with tension, fear, frustration, grief, anger, or even hatred—the ego side of us usually wants to seek out some plan of action to fix our circumstances, fix ourselves, or fix the people around us. In such moments of distress, we typically feel compelled to take some sort of action, any action, to alleviate the pain and gain more control over something, anything. While in this state of unease our vision gets clouded, our thinking becomes muddled, our hearts close up, and we, like the physician in the earlier story, want to jump into the stirred waters of the pool, get healed, and get on with our daily routines. The practices provided in this book are designed to help you through such times—so that you can pause and relax, clear your heart and mind, and open up to your inner guidance.

In time, as we progress on this journey we come to realize that the real cure does not come from some pool out there, but rather true healing, perspective, and inspired wisdom comes springing forth from the well within us. This kind of transformational breakthrough is possible for those who are willing to enter their hearts and connect to their true selves.

How to Use This Book

My goal in writing this book is to share these essential principles with simple clarity and compelling reason. Each chapter is devoted to a specific tool designed to help you experience more peace and success in your life. You’ll discover that each chapter is a stand-alone module which can be used as a reference guide refresher down the road. However, for your first time through I recommend going through the chapters in sequential order.

Within each chapter you will find:

1) A clear description of the tool or life skill, along with supporting foundational principles;

2) Compelling reasons—including research studies, real life success stories, and scientific support—that show how the tool can help you;

3) Simple, easy-to-apply tips and exercises to help you incorporate the tool into your daily routine;

4) Results that you can expect to see in your life.

While this book is designed to be a self-help guide, it is also intended to be a resource for coaches, teachers, organizational leaders, managers, parents, doctors, counselors, therapists—anyone who is looking to help others overcome their challenges and magnify their inner greatness.

Whether you find yourself in the midst of a major crisis or negotiating the smaller rapids of everyday life, you’ll discover that these transformational tools will help you:

Overcome adversity

Alleviate stress in your life

Identify and release the stumbling blocks that are holding you back

Elevate your perspective, purpose, and passion

Tap into your inner greatness

But please don’t just take my word for it. As you read about these principles see if they speak to your heart and ring true, and if they do, give them a try and watch what happens.

~~~

CHAPTER ONE ~

The Breath of Life

"Fear is excitement without the breath."

--Dr. Fritz Perls, Author and renowned psychiatrist

Have you had the experience where life threw you a surprising curveball that caught you right between the eyes and dropped you to your knees? Perhaps it was an unexpected loss of employment, a painful divorce, a crippling injury, a doctor’s report of life-threatening cancer, a bout of depression, or the sudden death of a child. At such times we may find ourselves a bit lost, scared, and uncertain about what the future holds.

Then there are the more mundane everyday annoyances that can make life challenging and stressful. For example, do you ever feel like you have too much on your plate? Do you ever wish you could turn down the volume on all the distractions that call out for your attention? Do you ever get overwhelmed by all your responsibilities and the ever-increasing To Do list? Do you ever worry that you are falling behind or that you just may not be good enough?

To some extent we have all had similar thoughts, doubts, and fears which can make our lives feel heavy at times. It appears that stress has become a common part of the human condition, and now