Darkly Divine

By C.L. Walker

Ablaze is what I feel every time Micah looks my way, because he is dark, otherworldly, and alluring. Irresistible is the pull between us–taut, yet unbreakable–and it binds us to one another despite our efforts to deny its presence.

Black and blue is the color of my skin, because my mother doesn’t keep her hands to herself. Shattered is the state of my heart, because she is all I have left, and she doesn’t love me anymore.

No control is what I have, because in all things, I am powerless. I'm to be forever at the mercy of others.

This is my story, and it's one of violence and darkness, but it's also one of love and light.

• Language: English
• Publisher: C.L. Walker
• Release date: Apr 20, 2024
• ISBN: 9798201762438

C.L. Walker

C.L. Walker is an author of paranormal, young adult, new adult, adult, and contemporary romance. She lives in the United States with her family and spends her time writing, reading, listening to music, and watching dramas and anime.Books:Darkly Divine: A Vampire RomanceDream Eater: A Paranormal Romance (The e-book is currently only available on Amazon but the paperback is available at any retailers Amazon distributes them to)Coming out this summer (2024): Goth Sunshine: A Vampire romance (grumpy-sunshine, opposites attract, hate-to-love, college, forced proximity)

Book preview

Darkly Divine

Smashwords Edition

C.L. Walker

Copyright

Copyright 2021 by C.L. Walker

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to your favorite ebook retailer and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Cover design by Florfi

Editing by J.H. Fleming

Dedication

To my cousin; this one is for you.

Though you are no longer of this world

I know in my heart that new life has been

breathed into your lungs, and that

you are finally being loved.

You are free.

One

Skylar

In a dream of the past

I threw another rock into the glistening, dark waters of the creek as I gazed through the overhang of the tree’s branches at the bright, white moon.

The cold covered me like a blanket that, if I could, I would pull tightly around me, if only to feel something akin to an embrace.

Crickets sang in the distance and their song eased my soul and reminded me that I wasn’t alone.

Setting my chin on my knees, I watched the white puffs that left my mouth as they disappeared into the freezing air, and I shivered.

I had run out of the house without a care beyond my immediate physical safety, so I hadn’t grabbed a jacket. I had on overall shorts that were riddled with holes and sandals from last summer that I had long since outgrown.

It was cold, but I didn’t mind because it was better than the alternative. A warm house was nothing when faced with the chaos within. I’d rather be suffocated by frigid air than let her hurt me again. But beyond that, what I truly desired was to be anywhere else in the world, in a place without pain where I might feel wanted. Where I might feel loved.

I thought about how angry my mother was again, so I began to breathe heavily as fear crept back into my mind and made my skin prickle.

At ten years old, I knew enough to know that when my mother was that angry, I needed to leave and wait until she was drunk enough for me to sneak back into the house unnoticed. To do otherwise was to carry out a death wish, because as I had slipped out of her grasp, she had promised there would be more waiting for me.

I dipped my big toe into the water and fought the urge to pull it back out; I wanted to keep it there despite the pain. I wanted to decide for myself how long I would endure its frozen grasp.

I finally found you, someone said from behind me.

I leaped to my feet to defend myself if needed, shrieking when my foot slid into the muddy creek. My arms flailed around my head wildly and fear rolled through my body as I lost my balance. I may have welcomed the cold, but I wasn’t ready to be fully submerged in the winter water.

Thankfully, the boy reached out to steady me before I went under, so I was able to pull my foot out and avoid plunging my leg further into the water.

He rubbed the sides of my arms, as if that would be enough to warm me. It’s okay. I got you.

I watched him closely because I was still unsure whether he meant me harm.

When he said, It’s okay, again, it frustrated me, because nothing is, was, or would ever be okay. He was greatly mistaken to suggest such a thing to me; he had no idea about anything that had happened in my life.

I had worse problems than slipping into creeks.

I yanked my arms out of his grasp and folded them across my chest stubbornly. Who are you?

Micah, he said, as if it should have been obvious.

I gave him a blank stare.

I live in the neighborhood across the street from yours. We are in the same grade. He pointed through the trees, but we were so deep in the forest we could no longer see the lights of the trailer park where I lived with my mother, so I couldn’t see where he was pointing. But I gathered where he meant nonetheless; there was only one neighborhood near mine, and although it was physically close, it felt as if we lived in different worlds.

My mother said everyone from your neighborhood is stuck up and pretentious, I said hesitantly.

I recalled the day they’d announced the new development across the street. My mother had said we would probably have to leave to make room for it. The whole neighborhood thought they would tear down the trailer park, but since it was well hidden by a thick row of trees, the eyesore we called home was left untouched.

He scratched his head and looked thoughtful as I took in his appearance. His skin was tan, and his hair hung in a neat braid down his back, appearing as dark as night itself against the moon that shone behind him.

He kicked a rock into the creek. I admired the crisp white color of his shoes…until they reminded me of my own and I began to feel self-conscious about my feet, which were longer than my sandals.

Pretentious, he said. What does that mean?

I don’t know, but it doesn’t sound like a good thing, I replied saucily, as if the accusation were true and he was someone to be regarded with distaste because of it. As if my mom was someone whose opinions should be regarded as facts.

I glanced at his hair again and couldn’t hide my curiosity. Are you an Indian?

Native American is actually what you would call me. He looked down and seemed to think over his next words carefully. Are you going to make fun of my hair like everyone else does?

The thought had never crossed my mind. I simply wondered how I’d never noticed him before at school, because a boy with longer hair than most of the girls was sure to stand out.

I touched my shorn-off locks and wished that I could trade with him. I wanted pretty hair that hadn’t been butchered by my mother’s unskilled hands.

He looked perfect and unmarred by life. I envied him for it.

Why did you follow me? The silence that had stretched between us was too much for me to bear.

What happened to your arm? He avoided answering my question.

It was an accident.

He pointed to my arm and I covered the marks with my hand.

But those are finger marks, he insisted in an accusatory tone, and it made me feel wary of him.

So?! I stood my ground. It doesn’t change the fact that it was an accident.

I had learned my lesson about telling already, and I knew no one would ever understand my mother anyway. Why bother with the truth when people were so much more comfortable with lies?

The truth was she had hurt me after she had promised she wouldn’t ever do it again, but she was a liar.

I heard your mom yelling when I was walking past your place on my way home from the park. Then I saw you burst out of the door and take off into the woods, so I followed you. He kept looking down at my arm. You didn’t seem like you were okay.

His words made me feel like I was losing a hold on what little control I had left at that moment. If he told anyone, I didn’t know what would happen to my mother.

The last time I had told someone about what she had done to me, she had convinced them I was a liar and told me she’d kill herself if I opened my mouth again. Of course, I hadn’t dared to speak another word of it after that, and I let myself believe I had almost made a huge mistake in exposing her.

She didn’t hurt me often, I reasoned, and she didn’t mean to. She was too sad to know any better because her heart had never healed.

I made those kinds of excuses for her for as long as I could. It didn’t matter that she hurt me because I couldn’t let her kill herself. She was all I had left.

Clenching my fists at my sides, I stomped my mud-soaked foot. You shouldn’t have been listening! She didn’t mean to hurt my arm! It was an accident, like I said! Except it wasn’t.

My composure slipped. I was positive he had all the control, and I didn’t like it. It made me feel like everything was crashing down around me and I didn’t know what to do to fix it.

Everything was a mess, and I didn’t need him to add to the disorder.

He took a step closer to me with his hands out, like he meant to touch me and offer comfort, but I didn’t want it from him.

I never said she did it on purpose. I only wanted to see if you were okay. But if she didn’t mean it, then why did you run? he asked softly.

I didn’t have an answer for him, so I shrugged once more and kept my lips sealed, gritting my teeth in fear. I was worried I might say something that would give it all away.

He sighed. He seemed to be just as frustrated with me.

Okay… Whatever. His words were weighed down by disbelief. Why are you down here crying if everything is fine and dandy at home?

He was obviously going to keep asking me questions I didn’t want to answer, so I snapped. Panic took the reins and without a second thought, I pushed him away. He landed in the creek with a plop that sent water splashing everywhere, including in my face.

Mind your own damn business! I shouted as I wiped the liquid from my eyes. Then I took off running through the woods.

Fine! he yelled behind me. You can suffer all by yourself!

I laughed as his voice faded into the sounds of the night. I had already been suffering alone, so being without his comfort wasn’t going to break me.

Stupid boy.

I woke up, confused about where I was. I had been expecting to wake up alone in the woods next to the creek with a nosy native boy peering down at me. But I wasn’t a little girl any longer, and that boy only existed in my dreams. In the real world, he would be a man who was hopefully living a happy life somewhere far away from me.

Once I was fully coherent, I turned towards my alarm clock on my chipped, vintage nightstand next to my bed, which was a springy bit of mattress on the floor. The clock read 6:00 a.m. It was a half-hour before it was time for me to get up and get ready for the last semester of my senior year.

You’re almost there. Freedom awaits!

There was no point in going back to sleep, so I wiped the sweat from my brow and threw my blankets off.

It was an unusually warm spring morning; the heat had been going on for weeks, so most days I found myself waiting impatiently for the rain that April normally promised to deliver.

I preferred it when it rained and was cold. When it wasn’t bright and glorious outside, I didn’t feel like I wasn’t missing out as much. The sun seemed more suited for happy people who felt free to frolic in its warm rays, seemingly without a care in the world.

I slipped into the shower, and when I got out, I threw on dark, ripped-up designer jeans I had scored from the thrift shop and a band T-shirt. Then I quickly put on mascara and left my long, pale blonde hair down without drying it. I wanted to hurry and get out of the house before my mother woke up.

Making my way quietly through the kitchen, I grabbed a granola bar out of a mostly empty cupboard before I tiptoed across the living room to the front door. Our ancient trailer creaked with every step I took, which made me cringe as I tried to make it to the door unseen and unheard.

Skylar!

I jumped before I turned around and noticed she was on the worn couch right behind me.

I usually did better recon, but my dream was still preoccupying my mind, so I wasn’t operating at full capacity. I needed to clear my head; I couldn’t afford any distractions.

Yes, Mother.

Where are you off to so early? She sat up on shaky arms before she brushed her curly, bleached blonde locks away from her withered face.

She used to be beautiful, youthful, and vibrant before the accident. She had this glow about her; she was one of those people you couldn’t help but smile at simply because they were smiling. She was infectious in every sense of the word. When she was happy, you could bask in the light of her joy and feel it as if it were your very own. But when she was miserable, the world around you felt as if it were cast in a dark sheen, and emotions like joy could only be felt in your most sacred of dreams.

I discovered the cruel truth at a young age: monsters don’t live under the bed. They live in plain sight and hide their cruelty so well many never see them for who they truly are.

She was one of those monsters.

I looked down into her eyes and considered them. They were the eyes of the dead, violet in color like my own, but they had clouded over the years, and I couldn’t imagine any longer what it might be like to see life in them. I didn’t think they were beautiful, like I had as a child. They were hard, cynical, and were always judging me.

I'm going to school, but first I’m going to get breakfast with Sai at the diner. It was a lie, but it was already out of my mouth before I could think of something else to say.

She would never believe the truth, which was that I was going to sit down at the docks by myself. She always thought I was up to no good, but I wasn’t that kind of teenager. I was too scared of what she would do to me if she ever had proof of my mischief.

Being unwilling to take some risks had labeled me as a goody two shoes, but I couldn’t be bothered by it. I had other things to worry about. Such as getting away from her.

I had been counting down the days to my escape for years, and it couldn’t have felt like it went by any slower.

She snickered loudly and brought me back from my thoughts. I knew to brace myself for the biting words that were sure to follow.

Sure you are, she said, her distrust in me apparent.

I am.

Oh, please. You’re letting him screw you, aren’t you? she asked, and I shook my head. You think I don’t know you go to school and put on makeup to lure the boys in?

I would have rolled my eyes if I didn’t think she would hit me for it.

She had been a natural beauty and chose not to wear makeup, so she was judgmental of current makeup trends and liked to dog on other women for not being as naturally pretty as she once was.

Luckily for me, I was no exception to that judgment.

I had worn an ugly metallic shade of baby pink lipstick on my thirteenth birthday, which I had picked up from the drug store with change I had been saving for months. I had been so excited because I thought it was the shiniest thing I had ever seen, and I was sure that when I put it on, I was going to feel like a new person. I thought that, like the lipstick, I would glitter like crushed diamonds.

But when I’d approached her in the kitchen to show her how pretty I looked, I’d gotten slapped so hard she’d knocked me to the floor and busted my lip open. Then she’d told me never to bring that shit into the house again.

So, I hadn’t. For a few years, anyway.

I do it for myself, not for them. It was just mascara and lipstick; it was a small thing, but it was mine, and it was the only color I had in my life.

It was the truth, but she would never believe it because she didn’t know me, and she didn’t know how hard I tried to hide from others because I was scared of letting them in.

I didn’t want attention; I wanted to remain unseen.

Oh, for yourself, huh? She started coughing violently until she cleared her throat. Then she took a drink from an old soda can that had been sitting on the coffee table for days and probably had cigarette ashes in it. It’s so nice to hear you are doing well for yourself while I’ve been stuck dedicating my life to you for the last seventeen fucking years.

That was comical, considering she had never done a single good thing for me in my entire life, beyond putting a roof over my head and meager meals in my belly.

I would have rather been put up for adoption.

Had she been any other woman, I would have believed there was a true sacrifice on her part, and I would have been eternally grateful for it. Because if I had someone else for a mother, she might have dedicated her life to me by choice, just because she wanted me to have a good childhood, like most mothers wanted for their children.

I don’t have time to argue with you. I’m leaving. I tried my best to shut it down without letting my irritation show. I couldn’t antagonize her before school because I’d end up late and sporting bruises. Goodbye.

Slut, she murmured so she could get the last word in.

I stopped with the door open, and I finally felt refreshed with the morning air in my lungs.

Every day, once that door was open, I took a deep breath and I stepped out of the trailer with a sliver of hope. There was nothing quite like opening the door to a world that felt separate from her and what took place in her trailer.

I lived for small moments like that, where I dared to dream there was something outside of what I experienced each day.

I was almost there; the day when I would never have to go back inside was drawing near.

Taking another deep breath, I turned to look back at her, but she was already making her way to the kitchen with a cigarette hanging from her lips. She knew I wouldn’t fight back, so she no longer waited for a reaction.

I shook my head as I looked down and noticed her ass was hanging out of her pajama pants, which were slipping down. She was skin and bones, since she ate like a bird and drank like a fish, and I was often subjected to viewing her body parts—which I didn’t wish to see—due to her loose-fitted clothing.

Often I wished I could tell her she was the slut; she was the one who’d had many different boyfriends throughout my childhood. Most of them had brought in drugs and ill-gotten money, and they had all been losers. Not even one of them had resembled my dad in any capacity. He had been a kind and hardworking man who had pushed her to be a better person.

Her current boyfriend liked to cop a feel on me when she wasn’t looking, and when I had told her about it, she’d shoved me to the ground, kicked me repeatedly in my stomach, and called me a whore. She had said that even if he had touched me, I’d probably begged for it because I was desperate for attention.

So, I’d dropped it.

I slammed the door behind me and hoped it would get her attention. Then I pulled my tube of red lipstick out of my pocket, lining my lips while I walked backward away from the trailer, hoping she would look out the window. But I was also afraid that she would.

Don’t be stupid…

I turned around quickly when I remembered for the millionth time that the small victory would not be worth facing her fury, which was sure to follow. But I couldn’t deny the side of me that wanted to rebel.

If I were going to do it, there was no better time; I only had about a month before I could leave. And I had to leave because I couldn’t take it any longer. She was breaking me more and more every single day. If I stayed with her, I feared there was going to be no chance of putting myself back together, and I didn’t want my abuse to be the sum of my existence. I didn’t want to be forever broken.

I walked at a quick pace down the gravel road that led to the main street and smiled at my neighbor, who said hello as he got in his car.

That was about as much as I got out of anyone in the trailer park, and it suited me fine. I was unnoticed by most people in town because they assumed I was quiet and shy, and I preferred it that way. Otherwise, people would have had opportunities to question things I couldn’t answer.

The whole town knew my mom was a drunk, but that was all they knew. Me, I was just the widow’s quiet daughter who never got into any trouble and took care of her grieving mother.

I never bothered to correct their assumptions because I was sure not many of them cared to know the true story anyway. I was glad everyone left me alone and understood why I kept to myself.

At school, I tried to fade into the background as well, but it didn’t work because for some reason people liked me. I wasn’t popular by any means, but I fit in better than I liked to.

Life outside of my mother’s place was good enough, all things considered, and I tried to maintain that by keeping most others out of my life and staying focused on my studies.

I didn’t know as I walked down the street to school and recounted the days until I was eighteen that all of that was about to change.

The dream that lingered in the back of my mind was a prelude to a beautiful disaster, and that disaster involved a boy I had never wanted to see again.

Two

Skylar

As soon as I stepped into the student parking lot, Sai jumped out of his car and swooped in next to me. He began talking animatedly before I even had a chance to say good morning.

Okay, so let’s say hypothetically speaking that aliens are real. If this book is correct, then they look just like us. So, earthlings had no idea what aliens looked like, and it was their fear of the unknown that shaped the idea that aliens were frightening in appearance, he said as he slapped the cover of a book titled, They Look Just Like You.

I glanced around and tried to imagine that not everyone among us was human. It made me laugh; even if it were possible, it was still hard to picture.

I was never one to believe in that sort of thing, but Sai always challenged my beliefs. He made me consider the world differently even if I wasn’t ready to commit to any of his wild ideas.

He was my best friend and the only person I trusted in the entire world, even though my trust still didn’t go that far. He was also in the running for the world’s biggest nerd, and it made our time together more interesting.

What you are saying is that if they look like humans, they could have already infiltrated us and are walking among us as we speak. I gave him an indulgent smile.

He looked down his nose at me through black-rimmed glasses, judged my sincerity, and found it lacking. You’re always making jokes, but it will be I… He put his hands on his hips, his Gimli T-shirt pulling tightly against his chest as he adopted a superhero pose. …you run to when you see their great lights in the sky.

I’d rather place my bets on the skills I’ve acquired from playing post-apocalyptic video games at your house and watching horror films.

His smile fell. A lot of the post-apocalyptic materials we consume are more like ‘what not to do survival guides,’ though.

I nodded as I thought about all the stupid things people in horror movies and television shows did that left you screaming out of frustration at your TV rather than out of fear.

True, I said. But I have a plan, trust me. Even though we both knew it wasn’t a very extensive one.

Yeah, a plan for zombies, my dear, not a plan to fight the aliens who gather in numbers among us.

He stopped me in the middle of the hallway, pointing to Amanda Herts just down the way as she leaned against the red lockers.

Once my eyes were on the target, he lowered his voice and said, She’s one of them. It’s obvious her goal is to populate the planet and increase their numbers. That has to be why she sleeps around; she’s looking for the perfect specimen.

I considered her as she smiled up at our star quarterback, Tommy Lowe, who had walked up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He smiled back before they started making out right there against the locker.

Public displays of affection made me uncomfortable; I had never been touched or kissed like that, not even in the dark. I couldn’t imagine being so comfortable with someone that I would let them maul my face at school.

And there he is: the perfect specimen.

Sai nodded beside me before both of our faces scrunched up in disgust.

I mean, if you’re into that sort of thing. Either of them. He shook himself and rubbed his arms like he had gotten the chills.

I’m certainly not.

We continued down the hallway and out of the building into the courtyard, walking under the covered walkway. It was my favorite place in the whole school because it was dark, rarely occupied, and served as a fantastic retreat when I needed a moment of quiet. It was in the center of four connecting buildings and in the middle, there was a big tree whose branches stretched over the roof in all directions. Around it was dark green grass that had a few wildflowers sprinkled throughout.

The sun was mostly blocked by the tree, so it could only reach you in various places with tiny rays that squeezed through the branches. With the limited light and the flowers—the way they grew wildly—it all came together in an almost magical way.

It didn’t belong, yet it was lovely, and I resonated with that.

We went inside the next building and discussed our classes for the semester. We didn’t have any together because Sai was leagues ahead of me academically, but he was going to try to switch his third period to the art class I was taking if he could get away with it.

As we slowly walked down the hallway, I spotted a stranger amongst the familiar faces. Everything else began to blur. He was something else, something that made me dismiss every word I tried to think of that would describe his physical being with a modicum of accuracy.

Once we were close enough to make out his features, his eyes struck something inside of me. They were dark and mysterious, and I felt as if they pierced right through my armor in an instant. With a single look from him, I had been exposed and left to the mercy of his violent stare.

There was something odd about the moment. It felt different than simply catching the eye of a stranger should. It threatened to push the air from my lungs until I could no longer breathe.

I couldn’t hear the shuffling of feet down the hall or the laughter of my peers as they passed, and for a moment, I forgot Sai was beside me.

All I was aware of was the eyes of a stranger and a sinking feeling in my gut.

After we passed him, I lost my restraint and turned around to watch him.

I got chills down my spine and gooseflesh ran the length of my arms as I watched him walk away. Something about him felt off.

It was in the way he sliced through the hallway as everyone moved out of his way. It was in the way he moved like he was the only somebody in a crowd of no one else.

It made me feel insignificant.

He had the presence of someone you didn’t want to get involved with, but you couldn’t help being drawn to him all the same. Those kinds of people made me the most uncomfortable.

I thought he might look back at me, but he didn’t. I’d thought maybe the intensity of the moment was shared between us, but it seemed I alone had felt it.

Hey, wasn’t that the kid who used to live in my neighborhood back in elementary school? Sai asked and stopped beside me to watch as well.

His tone told me he was completely oblivious to my inner turmoil. I was thankful he didn’t notice how weird I was being about a random guy.

What kid? He doesn’t look familiar to me. He slapped his hands together when he figured it out a moment later. Micah! Yeah, I think that was his name.

No way. I felt like a hand had wrapped around my heart and squeezed.

There’s no way he is back…

It is. Just imagine him with that long hair, but braided down his back instead of loose and you can sort of see it. His words rushed out, and with each one my anxiety grew.

Hmm, was all I could manage to get out.

It has to be him, he said after a few quiet moments had passed. I never forget a face, especially a unique one.

Unique? I think you mean a devilishly gorgeous one.

I tried to picture young Micah, but I didn’t remember what his face looked like, even though he was never far from my mind. For some reason, that night clung to me despite my efforts to will it away.

I remembered how that night felt and the words that were spoken, but I didn’t remember much about him physically, only his shiny hair.

My dreams were vivid, but that didn’t mean they translated well to real life, so I couldn’t see the similarities between the man in the hallway and the little boy from my dreams.

Or maybe I just didn’t want to.

It was too wild to have him show up right after I started dreaming about that night again. My life wasn’t a novel; things like that didn’t happen.

I didn’t know him, so I’ll take your word for it. I reached for the door to my classroom. I’ll see you at lunch. Have a good day, nerd.

You too, dork. He waved goodbye.

Once he turned around, I took one last look at the door the mysterious boy had gone through and made a silent plea: Please don’t be him!

After much consideration over the first three periods of the day, I decided Sai was wrong. I reminded myself of this again when I tipped my head down as I walked through the cafeteria. I was convinced I didn’t need to look for the stranger any longer because he was nobody to me.

I was already seated when Sai walked up with a proud smile on his face. I successfully switched classes and will be joining you in art tomorrow!

Awesome! It will be so much better with you there. I saved a seat at my table just in case.

Nice! Okay, now onto the juicy stuff. I was right, it’s Micah. He sat down next to me at the lunch table. I have second period with him, so I sat next to him and simply asked. He just moved back, but this time into his late grandfather's cabin a few miles up the mountain loop by the river.

Why would his family move back to this godforsaken town?

It was everyone’s dream to get out, so it confused me that anyone would come back after escaping. Granted, it was a nice town located in a beautiful forest area at the base of a mountain, but it was still in the middle of nowhere.

"They didn’t. It’s just him. His late grandfather left the cabin for him, and he came here as soon as he turned eighteen to fix it up while he