The Miseducation of a Good Girl

By Porscha Sterling

True love does have the power to redeem but only if we are ready for redemption. Love saves us only if we want to be saved.

—bell hooks

In the heart of the city where love battles betrayal and trust is a luxury, love was my anchor. But now, it's slipping away.

Only yesterday, I was lost in Luke's eyes, celebrating two decades of love. But now? He's facing a life behind bars, leaving me shattered, vulnerable, and questioning every choice I've ever made.

Enter Bone—a blast from the past with that same intoxicating allure that once tempted me away from everything I knew. When I was broken, he became my sanctuary. And now, he's back, not just to heal my wounds, but to claim my heart.

But love's never simple for people like us. Especially since I’ve found out that, while Bone whispers promises in my ear, Luke's spending his time with Madyson Hill. Did I make a mistake in choosing him all those years ago? Was the man for me, my true soulmate, really Bone?

In a world where the past never seems to stay buried, I'm torn between two futures, two loves, and one heart that's racing toward the truth. 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Porscha Sterling, LLC
• Release date: Sep 27, 2023
• ISBN: 9781637183014

Porscha Sterling

PORSCHA STERLING is an influencer, publisher, and national bestselling author who is widely considered the exemplar of self-publishing success in the digital age. Winner of the SHEEN Magazine Literary Excellence Award, she’s best known for her book series Bad Boys Do It Better.   Sterling holds an MBA, which helped her in the development of her publishing company, Royalty Publishing House, a stronghold in the African-American literary community, publishing many top-selling novels in the urban, contemporary romance, interracial romance, and women’s fiction genres. Sterling has also partnered with fellow best-selling author and publisher, Leo Sullivan, on the launch of a mobile app, known as the LiT Reading App, which connects readers with exclusive material from independent authors. To find out more information about Porscha Sterling, visit all of the social media outlets at @Porscha_Sterling and her website, PorschaSterling.com.

Book preview

Chapter 1

Blood & Water

OUTLAW

Luke Murray, you’re out.

It’s about damn time.

Standing up, I ran my hand over the front of my suit jacket to dust it off before walking to the front of the holding cell. I wasn’t sure how long I’d been in there, but I knew one thing: it was too damn long.

Mr. Murray, your car is waiting for you around back, I heard a voice say from behind me.

Turning around, I met the eyes of an officer, a Black man, around my height.

There are quite a few members of the press stationed outside, along with other members of the city... He suddenly appeared uneasy. ...who have staged a few protests. That’s why it took us a while longer to get you out. We can’t guarantee your safety from the front entrance. It’s much more private around back.

I eyed him with suspicion, not believing a single word out of his mouth. He was the police, and for someone who grew up in the streets like me, it automatically positioned him as an opp. Apparently, he knew that because the next thing he did was open his mouth and say the only word that would make me trust him.

"Omerta," he said, barely above a whisper.

It was only then that I relaxed.

Oh, you ‘folks’, I replied. He nodded.

Omerta was a code of silence for the mafia, but it was also a code word we used to identify people as part of the BBM. My eyes dropped to the name on his lapel.

Lt. Dragonia.

I didn’t recognize him, but I definitely recognized the name.

Melissa Dragonia? I asked, staring at him under furrowed brows.

My wife, he replied.

I nodded my head. I knew her. She was one of the media partners of the BBM. The ones who worked with Kane to keep the press out of our shit. Based on what he’d said about the protests, they had to be busy as hell.

Follow me, he directed before turning around, leading me toward a hall.

I was tempted to ask him questions, but I didn’t. I couldn’t risk anyone knowing of his connection to me. But, damn, if I didn’t want to know what the hell Simpson had on me. He wouldn’t risk locking me up so publicly over some small shit. It had to be something big, and I couldn’t wait to find out what the hell it was.

In due time.

I knew that my time sitting in a call wasn’t wasted. Whatever needed to be known, I could guarantee that my brothers were already on top of it.

Here you go, Lt. Dragonia said as he opened the door for me to leave. I gave him a quick nod of thanks for looking out with the private exit and then stepped out into the dark, walking towards the large black SUV parked curbside.

Legend jumped out the driver’s seat and came to open my door right before I arrived.

Good to see you, Outlaw, he said.

I said nothing; simply lowered my head to acknowledge his words before getting in the car. The fact that Legend picked me up and not my brothers meant that he’d found out something. I was eager to know what it was.

It wasn’t until he pulled out of the jail parking lot and onto the street that we started to speak freely.

I found out who is behind this. Lifting his hand, he massaged his chin pensively. Isaiah Johanes. The only son of Chloe Havarty. He’s in the city and I’m positive it ain’t by accident. He’s been here over a week.

How the fuck... I started before my words failed me.

Chloe’s son?

How the hell had he found me? How did he even know anything about me? Everything that went on between me and Chloe happened when he was too young to remember it. Not only that, but I could also only remember one time he’d ever seen my face. I was the one who transported him to his grandparents, but he was blindfolded the entire time. It didn’t make any sense.

You moved on him yet? I asked Legend.

He shook his head. Not yet. I figured you would want to be with me to do the honors.

Nah, I keep my hands clean these days, I told him with a sigh. I let y’all young, wild niggas handle the gunplay.

Indeed, was Legend’s response.

I looked at him sideways. See, that’s that crazy shit that makes me wonder if I should be alright with you trying to marry my daughter.

I chuckled a little as I said it, but part of me was dead serious. Even though I knew Legend was a good kid, anyone with eyes could see there was a dangerous side to him. One that you just didn’t want to cross into. Everyone had a part of them that was like that, but most people kept it hidden from others, even themselves. Not Legend. He lived for that shit. Walking in the shadows is where he felt most comfortable.

I only pull the trigger for a good cause so ain’t nothing to worry about, Legend said. Plus, we both know that your daughter wants nothing to do with me.

Damn.

I glanced in his direction, and I saw a hint of emotion cross his face.

Regret.

It was true. January didn’t want nothing to do with him which he found out when she broke off their engagement. That was over a year ago, but he still looked fucked up about it.

Forcing my lips together, I turned to look out the window. I don’t know if he was looking for encouragement or not, but I wasn’t about to give it. January was my daughter and one thing about her, when it came to men, I was confident that she knew how to pick the best one for her.

From what I found, he lives around here, Legend said as he took a turn into a neighborhood in Williamsburg.

It was a trendy area, a spot known for hosting professionals in their mid-to-late twenties. Usually, ones who were fresh out of school and were lucky enough to find a job that paid them a decent amount of money. The lawns were nonexistent; a small patch of grass, just enough for someone with a small dog.

Interesting, I said as I looked around.

I didn’t know what type of man I was expecting Isaiah to be, but this shit wasn’t it.

I was used to battling it out with goons; niggas who were hood raised and fully prepared to go toe-to-toe with me whether we were in the suburbs or in the street. Ruthless niggas. Niggas who knew what it met to get it out the mud. Savages who didn’t give a damn; they’d beat your ass in a wife beater and sweats or a three-piece suit. The kind of man who fought to death over disrespect because, outside of his respect, he had nothing else to lose.

From the look of everything around me, Isaiah wasn’t that dude.

That’s the one right there based on the address I found. Legend nodded his head ahead of where we were parked. You want me to move?

Reaching to his side, he grabbed what I knew was a weapon and then, pulling it up on his lap, he connected it with a silencer. He was just as eager as I was to get things dealt with, but something about this didn’t feel right. I had a weird feeling that this situation was supposed to be handled soon, but maybe not tonight.

Wait for a minute. I stopped him, my eyes still focused on Isaiah’s front door.

What’s up? I could hear the subtle alarm in Legend’s tone. He could sense that I was on edge and it had him tweaking. Every street nigga wore their paranoia like a second skin. He was no different.

Something’s not right. I told him. But don’t leave. Just wait here a minute.

Legend settled back into his seat, saying nothing. He drummed the tip of his fingers against his leg. He was on edge, but I couldn’t blame him. So was I. I just didn’t know why yet.

Suddenly, there was a flicker of light from the front room and the door opened.

Oh shit, I heard Legend say. Figured his type would be sleep this time of night.

So did I, I replied scratching at my jaw. But even corny ass niggas will stay up past their bedtime for a sneaky link. I nodded my head towards the door which a female figure had just stepped out of.

Legend snickered at that. True shit.

And it was all fun and games... until it wasn’t.

The fuck? Both Legend and I said at the same damn time.

Leaning up, we squinted out the window at the figure we saw walking out the front door of Isaiah’s house.

That can’t be who I think it is, Legend whispered. He seemed to deflate as he sunk back into his seat as if all the air had been sucked out of his body.

I felt the exact same way as he did as I stared out the window watching my own fucking daughter standing on the front steps of Isaiah’s townhouse talking to him.

What is she doing here? Legend gritted next to me, his hand on the pistol in his lap. I knew he was eager to squeeze the trigger. Is she messing around with him?

I said nothing. Mainly because I didn’t want to make any assumptions. There weren’t many things worse than finding out your daughter was sleeping with the enemy. It wasn’t something I wanted to accept. But then, when I saw January lean over to kiss whoever was standing inside the door, my hopes were dashed to shit.

Don’t pull out of here until she leaves, I instructed Legend.

He didn’t respond. I wasn’t surprised; I didn’t think he would. Legend was an expert at hiding all his emotions except for one: anger. He rarely got to that point, but when he did, he was one reckless motherfucker. On normal days, he didn’t give a fuck, but he still operated with reason. When he was mad, all that reasonable shit went out the window and he became pure fire. 100% destructive. He didn’t think. And the only person able to easily get him to that point was January.

We gotta move slower than we planned, I told him once January had left and we were back on the road. I need to know what’s going on and how much my daughter is involved in this shit... if she is at all, I added.

Legend simply nodded his head. And continued to drive.

I didn’t know what was going on, but I needed to find out. My gut told me that there was no way that January knew who Isaiah was because my own blood would never work against me. But my head reminded me that you never really knew a person, because, at the end of the day, everyone is capable of anything.

Chapter 2

Calling an Audible

JANELLE

Closing my eyes, I let my head fall back against the headrest and took a deep inhale before letting it out slowly. I had experienced the worst forty-eight hours of my life and, even though I wanted nothing more than to curl up in a ball and spend yet another day in bed, I couldn’t. My personal life was in shambles, but I was a judge presiding over a very important case. I had work to do. Two people were depending on me to keep it together and stay present because I had their lives in my hands.

The problem was that staying present and focused was currently the hardest thing to do. Especially being that the last time I saw my husband, he was being taken away in handcuffs. A total of two days had passed since that night and after spending only a few hours locked up, Luke was free. That said, I still haven’t seen his face.

My phone started to ring, and it was enough to jar me out of my mental prison. At least for the moment.

Hello? I answered without opening my eyes as I heard the FaceTime video start. Part of me hoped it was Luke, while the other part of me was too fragile to be disappointed if it wasn’t.

Janelle, hey. It’s me, Teema said as if she already knew I was sitting there with my eyes closed. Are you okay? Kane told me that Outlaw still hasn’t come home.

Tears brimmed my eyes and, even though I tried to stop them, a few ended up falling down my cheeks.

No, I’m not okay, I replied honestly. He texted me and said he needed some time alone. I haven’t heard a thing from him outside of that. My bottom lip began to tremble.

Tee, what could he possibly be dealing with that he doesn’t want to go through with me? I’ve loved that man for years. Stuck by him through everything. What would make him avoid me now?

I was emotional and feeling extremely on edge because I was out of control. Very few people got a chance to see me that way.

Janelle, I totally understand how you feel, she started. Just know that what he’s doing is not about you. He has something going on and his mind might not be in a healthy place. It could be that he just doesn’t want to put that on you. Give him time to get himself together and then he will come back home. But first he has to make sure that he can be the best version of himself for you. Give him time to get his mind right.

Give him time, she said. Give him time to get his mind right.

It was what she said, what my sisters said and even what his brothers said. I was so tired of hearing that shit. It felt like a cop out because what was happening wasn’t just happening to Luke. It was happening to both of us. Why was I the one being asked to be strong? The point of being married was that it didn’t matter if it was good times or bad times, you dealt with that shit together.

I’ll try to keep it together. Right now, I just need to put my focus on this case. I need to put all the personal shit to the side.

No one would think less of you for needing a break. Teema’s voice was gentle. What you’re going through is a lot. And it’s not as if you didn’t already have heavy shit on your plate. Taking a short recess isn’t going to kill your case. You can’t be at your best if you don’t take care of you.

As the ‘mama’ of our group, she was always the one to provide comfort and nurturing when needed. Unfortunately, I wasn’t used to being nurtured. My mother died of cancer when I was young. Being raised by my father made me responsible to a fault. It didn’t matter what I had going on, no excuses were valid when it came to my responsibilities.

Nah, I’m good, I replied, shaking my head as I pushed Teema’s suggestion away. If anything, focusing on work helps.

She sighed. I already knew you would say that, so I’ll be there in about fifteen minutes. Can’t blame a bitch for wanting a day off, though.

Despite my mood, I ended up laughing at that.

So, your whole speech about taking time to take care of yourself wasn’t about me at all. It was about you.

"It was about both of us, Teema clarified. Trust me, Kane has been stressing my ass out because he’s stressed out about his brother. He hasn’t slept more than a couple hours in two days so that he can work, and the bullshit has still been hitting the news."

My body immediately became tense. I didn’t watch the news and avoided all aspects of social media so that I didn’t have to hear the things that people were saying.

Is it bad? I asked against my better judgement.

It’s not. People are reporting on what happened, but they are keeping their personal opinions. The reports are based on the facts alone.

I’m so sorry, Teema. I really hate that you and Kane have to deal with this.

She cut her eyes at me, staring me down as if I’d slapped food out of the mouth of her firstborn child.

Janelle, don’t even go there. She held up her hand to stop me from interrupting. We are family. That inherently means that whatever one of us has to go through, we go through together.

I sucked in a breath and then let my head drop to the point that it damn near felt like it was dangling between my shoulders. My body felt so heavy. I was so tired, inside and out. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was until Teema gave me the permission to be. It seemed like I had been ignoring that feeling so that I would have the strength to push on.

Thanks so much for the support, sis, I forced the words out, feeling like I was literally using all the breath in my body. I understand and appreciate the concern. But I also want to let you know that I’m okay. I’ve always thrived under pressure my entire life. I’ll be fine.

And what I want to let you know is that just because you’re used to surviving under pressure, it doesn’t mean that you have to. Pressure makes diamonds but it also burst pipes. The key is discerning when it’s time to go hard and when it’s time to let go.

Teema’s words stuck with me long after the call ended, but I did my best to force them away. I had a job to do and people depending on me. I didn’t have time to worry about why my husband had shut down on me. Or why, after being faced with possibly being locked away from me for the rest of our lives, he was deciding to stay away.

My heartbeat quickened as soon as I reached the side entrance door for the courthouse. I knew that everyone on the inside had heard about Luke’s arrest, and I fully expected the hushed whispers and sideways glances. Fortunately, the first face I saw was a friendly one.

Good morning, Judge Murray, my bailiff greeted me as soon as I walked through the door.

Good morning, Johnny, I replied, thankful that the shades on my face hid the emotions in my eyes.

He immediately walked to me and pulled me into a hug before stepping back to allow me to walk through the metal detector.

I wasn’t surprised that Johnny was waiting there to greet me. As a judge, sometimes the person you’re closest with is your bailiff. Johnny was the person who I spent every day with and the person I depended on to protect me. It was clear that, especially today, he took his job seriously.

If you don’t mind, I’d like to escort you to your office. He held out his arm for me to grab. I latched on immediately to give him a half hug before releasing him.

I don’t mind at all. And thank you. He nodded his head before clearing my bag through security and taking his place to walk beside me down the hall. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves but barely ten seconds went by before every muscle in my body went tense again.

Before I could get to my office door, Rosa popped out of hers and turned in my direction heading right towards me. She was the last person I wanted to