Hell parental home: René Part 1 , Cruel child abuse of a little boy

By Jacqueline Padberg

In the first part of René's biography, Emilie from 'Crime scene: Parental Home' recounts the terrible experiences of her second half-brother René. Unlike Lars, Emilie's first half-brother, he did not take his own life.
Like his older brother Lars, René experiences abuse and torture at the hands of his stepfather in the GDR in the 1970s. For his sadistic stepfather Bert, violence is always a solution. For him, child abuse is part of everyday life.
René is scalded with hot water by Bert. He also threatens his grandparents with a knife because he doesn't want to leave and go home. René also often has to watch his older brother Lars being sexually abused in the cellar. At the time, however, he is too young to realize that this is sexual abuse.
The biography is based on true events that make you sad, angry and saddened. They reveal the incomprehensible suffering of little René in his parents' home, in the children's home and with his foster family.

• Language: English
• Publisher: tredition
• Release date: Mar 23, 2024
• ISBN: 9783384182067

Book preview

The toy cowboys

During our conversations, René told me that his grandparents played an important role in his childhood and that of his brother. This is not clear from the letters and documents I have from Lars. René's grandparents will play a role in a few chapters of his biography. I will come back to Grandma and Grandpa in more detail later.

René was five years old when his stepfather Bert, his mother Ulla and Lars moved into a small, old house in need of renovation. Horrible things happened in this little house.

When my half-brother was born, Bert wasn't yet living with them. But sad things were already happening back then. Ulla neglected her second-born René. He often didn't get anything to eat and the little child cried constantly because he was hungry. Lars was overwhelmed when mother locked them both up at home to go partying with Bert, whom she had met. Lars didn't like his brother. He was supposed to supervise René and covered his ears when René screamed and cried. As soon as mother left the house with her boyfriend, Lars jumped onto the sofa and ran to the window, crying. He knocked on the window with his little hands and screamed for his mother to please come back. He didn't know why René was crying so much and he was scared. He couldn't change diapers or feed baby René either. He was too small to take responsibility for a baby. Lars always tried to distract himself when René wouldn't stop crying and was screaming his head off.

Lars had no way of knowing that René's middle ear infections were the cause. The grandparents found out one day during a visit when René was screaming his head off again and Ulla didn't care. They got up from the kitchen chair, checked on the baby and scolded our mother when they found out. They sent our mother and the child to the doctor. René got these ear infections more often as an infant. Ulla didn't like it at all that the boy was constantly ill because she had to take the baby to a polyclinic. She often swore about it. She called her own son a freak who only caused her trouble. She also always waited far too long before taking the little one to the doctor for treatment. The doctor would then cut mom down to size. That didn't bother Ulla. After all, she had better things to do than just look after René, she justified herself. At the crèche, they also noticed several times that the toddler had an ear infection. The nursery management also advised Ulla not to wait too long before visiting the pediatrician. They asked several times to take René to the polyclinic. She always just waved them off, grumbled to herself because she felt offended and promised to do it as soon as possible. It usually stayed that way.

Lars often couldn't bear to hear his brother shouting. He tried to calm René down. It didn't work. When he couldn't stand the crying any longer, he hid in the bathroom and looked around for objects to distract him. René didn't stop crying. His big brother could hear him screaming and crying all the way into the bathroom when the door was locked. René would scream until he was exhausted and it made Lars more and more nervous. He couldn't concentrate on anything else and begged him:

Please, René, stop crying! I don't know what's wrong with you. Don't cry so much! You have to stop! I can't stand it. ... Mother, please come back! René is screaming. He's sick, you have to come right away!

It always took an eternity before the baby finally fell asleep and stopped crying. René's brother Lars was three years older. The boys did not know their father. The two children realized early on that they were not planned children. René was never allowed to meet his biological father, although he had wished to. Even later, our mother was not prepared to tell her second-born about his dad.

One day, our mother Ulla and René's and Lars' future stepfather Bert became a couple. From that day on, hell began for the two children. René still remembers some horrible experiences with my father to this day, even though he was still very young at the time. His brother Lars later told him more stories that shocked René. When Bert got together with our mother Ulla, the nightmare began for the two boys.

The children were often bored to death because there were no toys for them. Ulla never bought them toys. When they did get toys from their grandparents, the boys were not allowed to take their presents home with them. As a result, the two children often didn't know what to do with themselves at home. It was terrible for them not to be able to occupy themselves in a child-friendly way. They were constantly locked up by Bert and Ulla when they complained and died of boredom.

The boys didn't have a nursery either. That was clear from the letters Lars left behind. I knew from these letters that the children often had to sleep on the floor in the kitchen or living room. However, I didn't know that they had mattresses in the cellar on which they had to wait for days until Bert came to see them. But I did know that they were often mistreated in this dungeon. I'll come back to this later, but for now I'll tell you about an experience that René remembers well.

One day, his maternal grandparents gave him two plastic cowboy figures. They were small and René was able to hide them in his trouser pockets to smuggle them home with him. He took them home with him, even though he knew that his mother would not tolerate such a thing. One day, he was playing with the two figures on his mattress while his big brother lay next to him, pulverizing clay out of the wall or staring at holes in the ceiling. When Ulla came home from work and checked on the children in the cellar, she caught René playing. Mother completely lost it and shook the boy.

Where did you get that, René? Answer me! It's from your grandparents, isn't it? These criminals are always stabbing me in the back. ... No? Yes, you're lying! Haven't I already told you a hundred times that this kind of thing has no place at home? Give it to me, now! You're an impossible child. When Bert comes home from work, I'll tell him. Then you can prepare yourself for something, my dear! You're naughty and so demanding. Why do you never listen to me and only disappoint me?

René didn't understand what he had done wrong. His eyes filled with tears and he was afraid of his mother. Lars knew what Bert could be like. Panic rose up in the boy and he pleaded with his mother.

But mom, he's not making a mess. René is just playing a bit. He was bored, me too, to be honest. Please don't tell Bert, he'll hit us again. It hurts so much when he beats us up. I'll put René's toys away straight away, too. He'll be good now and won't make any more trouble. I promise. Please don't tell him that, Mummy!

Ulla snatched the cowboy figurines out of her second-born's hand, took them with her and locked the cellar door again from the outside. René lay on his mattress, crying and trembling. He already suspected what was in store for him. His brother Lars tried to calm him down. It didn't work. He cried and called for his mother.

When René's stepfather came home from work and went downstairs in the cellar, the little boy peed his pants in fear. Bert gave the child a diabolical look and stormed towards him. He immediately slapped the toddler on the back and on the legs. Lars stood up to protect his little brother. That was enough for his stepfather. He beat the living daylights out of both children, got a fiery red head and shouted at the boys.

Now I've had enough of your damn insolence, you brats. What do you think you're doing wetting the bed? Not even 6 years old and you're already such a criminal? Where did you steal the toy? ... Don't lie to me! You stole it. Playing is forbidden here in this house. You know that very well. Do you understand? ... Good. And now to you, Lars! What do you think you're doing beating your father? I'll get you out of this, friend. I swear to you. Stop crying and bear your punishment like a man! Hold your tongue at last!

Lars swallowed his tears and didn't make a sound when his stepfather hit him hard. It was a long time before Bert finally calmed down and let go of the boys. That night, René lay on his mattress in his wet underpants, his whole body trembling. He couldn't understand why his father had beaten him up like that. He cried himself to sleep. Lars comforted him after Bert had left.

Please stop crying, René. If you're sad, so am I. Bert is a pig. Do you understand? But one day I'll be big and strong enough to get back at him for everything he does to us. I promise you that. Try to sleep now, even if you're in pain. Everything hurts, me too, but if you don't stop crying, Bert will come back and then everything will only get worse for us. You don't want that, do you?

No, René didn't want that. His big brother's reassuring words did him good, but it still took a long time that evening for the little boy to fall asleep. Everything hurt the two children and they couldn't understand why Ulla and Bert were treating them so badly. René often toyed with the idea of asking his mother why they weren't allowed to do anything at home and why they didn't have any toys? But he didn't dare. He knew that he would only get another scolding from her and a beating from Bert. René often thought about his biological father back then. He missed him, even though he didn't know him. His mother had never told him anything about his father. He often lay in bed and wondered why he had to grow up without his dad? When he did ask Ulla, she only told the boy that his father didn't want him because René was too naughty as a baby. That was the reason why his father had left, Ulla lied to her little son. The boys often heard this sentence in their childhood. It hurt them terribly.

René wanted to be a good and well-behaved child, but he had no idea how he could succeed. He didn't even know what was wrong with him. The only thing he was given was beatings instead of love. He was beaten when he supposedly behaved incorrectly. But what was right and what was wrong? No matter what he did. It was never the right thing for Bert and Ulla. René's mother liked it best when the children sat quietly in a corner, didn't make a mess and didn't move.

Bert moved in with his mother one day. The boys were afraid that it would be even worse for them. They didn't want that, as it was already terrible enough for them when he visited their mother Ulla or spent the night with her. But they didn't dare open their mouths and say so. They knew full well that their future stepfather would have snapped. One day, René's brother Lars did it timidly anyway and asked Ulla.

Mom, does Bert really have to live with us? If he moves in, can we live with grandma and grandpa? He doesn't like us anyway and you won't do anything if he beats us up. You just stand by and watch. Why? Why did you give birth to us? Just to torture us? I don't understand. Why don't you protect us? You want evil Bert to move in here now too? He'll only hurt us. I don't want him to live with us. Please, Mom, don't let him do that or at least let us live with Grandma and Grandpa!

Ulla grabbed Lars by the arm, shook him and shouted at the little boy.

You don't want that? But I do want that! And it's necessary! Bert is moving in here, that's it. You never listen to me and something has to change! Bert will teach you manners first. You're such difficult children and always naughty. I can't cope with you brats any more. All the better that Bert is moving in here now and that things will change soon. Now get out of here and out of my sight! I've heard enough. Get lost!

That was all Ulla had to say to her two sons about Bert moving in. Her sister Bea also warned them against this man. She didn't think it was a good idea to let him live with her mother. Ulla's parents were also against it. Ulla didn't care what they thought. She was of the opinion that her partner would be able to cope with the children and that they would no longer behave so naughtily. She loved the man and was glad that the boys were being given a firm hand. Bea shook her head and spoke to her with the tongues of an angel. Her sister Ulla's resistance to advice made her angry. She was also worried about her nephews. And rightly so!

When Bert moved in with her, things changed for the two boys. From now on, they were to spend every day in the cellar and live there. René couldn't believe that his mother was threatening them with this. The children already behaved like invisibles at home when they weren't locked in the cellar as punishment so as not to provoke any trouble. And now, because Bert had moved in, they were only supposed to live down there? What are the adults trying to achieve with this? The children begged their mother not to let this happen. Ulla wouldn't listen and shouted at the boys when they cried out of fear of what was about to happen to them. It was in vain.

Lars thought about running away at one time or another. He just wanted to run away after school. But he didn't dare. Then he would have had to leave René behind, and he definitely didn't want that. He was protecting his little brother and it scared him that he might be separated from him. He knew how brutal Bert was and didn't want to leave René to his fate. Not much time passed before my father was thinking up the next nasty things to do to the two boys. 

The clothes

The children now spent most of their time in the cellar. But on some days they were allowed upstairs. Bert then thought up nasty things to punish René and Lars.

One morning, he promised the boys that they would all go for an ice cream together. René was very excited and thrilled that he was going to get an ice cream. He never got anything like that from his mother. He only visited an ice cream parlor with his grandparents when he was with them. He also got sweets and toys from them. When Bert promised the children this, the little boy was thrilled and beamed at his stepfather. But things turned out differently.

René was told to go to the bathroom immediately after getting up and then get dressed. He still couldn't manage to freshen up in the bathroom without help. Brushing his teeth worked quite well, but getting dressed and combing his hair was another matter. Sometimes he put a top on backwards or didn't comb his hair properly. His brother Lars then helped him. That morning in front of the sink, he couldn't get the toothpaste tube open. The toothpaste was only for adults and was spicy. The little boy therefore detested brushing his teeth with it. He only did it when Bert told him to. René brushed his teeth with his finger. The kids didn't have their own toothbrush. Ulla thought it was a waste of money, as the children were still changing their teeth anyway, so there was no need to buy one. Our mother didn't mind that the boys didn't brush their teeth every day and that it only happened when their stepfather asked them to. Lars wanted to help René that morning when he saw that his little brother couldn't get the tube open. The moment René pressed firmly on the toothpaste tube again, the cap popped off and the toothpaste slipped onto his toe and onto the floor. The boys thought it looked funny and laughed about it. Lars then took a large line and smeared the toothpaste on his little brother's cheeks, forehead and chin. René looked in the mirror and thought the smiley face his big brother had drawn was funny. He copied Lars and the boys had fun together. When Ulla came into the bathroom, she went wild.

"What's so funny here? What are you’re getting up to nonsense again?