A Spy's Romance: The Nikki Sinclair Spy Thriller Series, #5

By Jaye Rothman

WHEN TWO SPIES MEET – DO THE STARS ALIGN OR COLLIDE?

 

After a failed mission, MI6 agent Nikki Sinclair is devastated at the loss of yet another romantic relationship. And has lost all faith in finding love. When Nikki is assigned to befriend Anna, a stunning, sophisticated, mature Russian spy, their connection ignites sparks that neither can deny.

 

If you enjoy lesbian thrillers spiced with romance, you'll love reading the Cold War spy novels featuring MI6 agent Nikki Sinclair.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Jaye Rothman
• Release date: Feb 28, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224899715

Book preview

Chapter 1

MI6 rehabilitation facility

Somewhere in the Sussex countryside

England.

June 1974

I LIED, BUT WHAT CHOICE did I have? MI6 officer Nikki Sinclair sank into the soft leather chair and buried her face in both hands. Dagmar wouldn't have agreed to leave if I hadn't deceived her. Her voice cracked. But I don’t understand why she won’t see me?

I've already explained why, Nikki, Dr Brown said gently. Nikki raised her head. The doctor’s expression showed her concern. I know it's difficult to accept, but you need to come to terms with her decision so you can move on. She rose from her chair, strolled across the room and squeezed Nikki’s shoulder.

Nikki stared at the doctor. What if I don't want to? Her childlike response hung in the air. She tore her gaze away and studied the surroundings. The consulting room, decorated in neutral tones, reflected almost nothing of the person who occupied it. Usually, physicians proudly displayed their qualifications in frames on the wall, but not this doctor. Nikki had once asked why not. Dr Brown had dismissed her question with one curt word: security. A large vase of pink and white roses stood on a side table near the door. The woman often spoke about the benefits of communing with nature during their sessions, so Nikki assumed they came from her garden. A soft breeze wafted through an open window, but despite this nod to freedom, the psychologist’s office was confining, like being back in a cell.

All I’ve ever wanted is for someone to love me. I don’t think that’s much to ask. The bitter taste in Nikki’s mouth made her sound petulant. Every relationship I’ve ever had has resulted in betrayal. I believed things would be different with Dagmar. She loved me. I know she did. She told me often enough. And now she doesn’t want me. Another sob caught in Nikki’s throat.

Maybe Dagmar did love you. Dr Brown reclaimed her seat and leaned back in it. And maybe she didn’t. Nikki swallowed her words when the doctor raised a hand. Let me finish. The psychologist’s tone became serious. You work for the intelligence service and transform yourself into a different identity whenever you go undercover. Dagmar fell in love with Nicole Schwartz. She never knew Nikki Sinclair. Dr Brown tapped a finger on the highly polished desk. Also, Dagmar was searching for someone to arrange her defection. Who they worked for didn’t matter to her. MI6, CIA, or Mossad, she just wanted out. And I don’t believe she minded too much whether a man or a woman provided the means. Her primary motive was to escape the authoritative regime of East Germany and begin a new life in the West.

And you know this how? Nikki gnawed her lower lip. The answer was obvious, but she needed Dr Brown to confirm the truth.

She admitted everything in her debriefing.

I see.

Now it’s time for you to move on, Nikki. Dr Brown leaned forward. Dagmar has already begun a new life in another country, and you can’t be a part of her future. You have no choice. You have to accept Dagmar’s decision.

I see, Nikki whispered again. She closed her eyes as a wave of despair washed over her. We had an incredible connection. Nikki stifled a sob. The weekends and evenings spent in Dagmar’s bed. They’d created their own world, away from prying eyes, lost in the sensations of passionate and incredible lovemaking. 

Dagmar thought the same way. Dr Brown smiled gently. But she realised a life together wasn’t sustainable. You would always remind her of the past. And she wanted a clean slate, a new life.

A clean slate? Nikki said, questioning the doctor’s words. I didn’t expect her to get over me so quickly.

You were imprisoned for more than three months.

Three months, two weeks, and four days, Nikki murmured. Now you’ve crushed my heart all over again.

You survived a hellish ordeal.

And as for Tina, it’s my fault she died. Nikki sobbed. If only I hadn’t asked her to help me, she would still be alive. Nikki wiped her eyes. Tina would have been chosen to represent East Germany at the Olympics, and now ....

Yes, you asked her to assist you, but Tina did so voluntarily. We all make choices. That’s what human beings do. Dr Brown’s tone hardened. You may never get over it, but you’ll learn to live with it.

Will I? Really? Nikki said. Because it doesn’t feel like that now.

Dr Brown opened a desk drawer.

Whatever you may think, since you’ve been at the rehab centre, you’ve made astonishing progress, but these things take time. She removed a manilla file, opened the folder and flicked through the pages. PD sent this to me yesterday. He wants you to think about a proposal he’s put together. She cleared her throat. A full pension will be granted if you decide to retire from MI6. He’s also arranged for your salary to be paid in full for the next three years. She handed over the sheet of paper.

Nikki scanned the page and frowned. In the corridors of MI6, PD was well-known for his shrewd budgeting abilities. The terms are very generous.

Exceedingly! The psychologist adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses, which had slipped down her nose and cleared her throat. PD also wanted me to tell you about Linda.

Linda? Nikki leapt to her feet. Why? Did something happen to her? She, Lonnie, and Linda had completed their basic training together and had always stayed in touch. PD thought assigning them to Dresden for a supposedly simple operation was a good idea. Unfortunately, the mission had ended in Nikki’s capture by the East German Secret Police, the Stasi, and subsequent imprisonment and torture in the Hohenschönhausen.

Dr Brown’s voice softened. There’s no easy way to tell you, but Linda was shot while trying to escape the DDR.

Shot! How did that happen? Nikki throttled a cry. An image of Linda running towards the border and falling under a hail of bullets flashed into her mind. Tears sprang from her eyes and coursed down her face.  Is Lonnie okay? she choked out between sobs.

The Stasi were looking for a man and woman travelling together. Lonnie decided a better strategy was to split up. The doctor’s gaze slid off to the right. The guards searched Linda and found—

The film?

Yes. I'm sorry, Nikki. I know you two were close.

Linda had a hunch the operation wouldn't end well. She pleaded with Lonnie to abort, but he wouldn't listen. Now she's dead. And where’s Lonnie? An edge of bitterness crept into Nikki’s voice. I’ve not seen him since I returned. I thought he’d come and visit me, but—Nikki sucked in a breath—he hasn’t bothered.

I understand Lonnie’s involved in a top-secret operation.

The Stasi retrieved the microfilm, Nikki said in a flat, hard voice, so, did Lonnie smuggle any intel out?

Dr Brown shook her head.

Nikki felt as if she’d been cheated. Zimmermann was meticulous in her record keeping. I photographed the girls' medical charts, the blood results and, most damning of all, photos from before the steroids were given and after, showing the effects of the drugs on their bodies.

According to Lonnie, he was fortunate to escape with his life. Dr Brown tried to catch her eye.

Nikki stared straight ahead. So, nothing has changed. Doctors continue to prescribe steroids to female swimmers without their consent.

Dr Brown’s silence provided confirmation.

And Linda died for nothing. Nikki pressed her hands together to stop them from shaking. And I spent three months incarcerated in that hellhole for what?

Unfortunately, in our line of work, sometimes we don’t achieve a tangible result. Operations fail, no matter how much we want them to succeed and how well they’ve been planned. I realise Linda’s death is tough for you to accept, especially after everything you’ve been through.

Nikki clenched her teeth. The woman had no idea. But then, why would she? A comfortable office in England was no substitute for a cell in an East German prison. 

Let’s talk more about Linda this afternoon. The psychologist glanced at her watch, and a frown puckered her forehead. PD phoned. He's arriving shortly and wants to meet with you.

He wants to pension me off. Nikki rose from her seat. Do you think I should accept his offer?  She scrutinised Dr Brown, looking for any micro mannerisms in her expression.

The woman’s demeanour didn’t change as she said, Obviously, I can’t advise you, but have you considered what your life might look like if you didn’t work for MI6?

I was recruited at university, Nikki said softly. I’ve known nothing else but the Service.

You’re an extremely talented linguist, Nikki. A wide smile transformed the doctor’s face. Have you thought about applying to work for the United Nations?

Chapter 2

Nikki lit a cigarette and stared through the window. Her mind raced. Dr Brown’s suggestion had her intrigued. Would that mean relocating to Geneva or New York? Geneva, she knew slightly, New York she’d never visited, but Nikki knew the city catered to a lesbian lifestyle. Resigning from the Service had several things going for it. Top of the list, she wouldn’t have to lie to a prospective girlfriend about her employment and sudden unexplained absences. A high-rise apartment with a fantastic view of the Hudson and a blonde-haired woman sharing her bed sounded like heaven.

And she had the skills to secure employment at the UN: translators were required to understand a language's nuances and idioms, speak clearly, and translate immediately. Her next thought had Nikki frowning. Translators had to sit in small boxes, headphones clamped to their ears, often for hours at a time.

She studied the immaculately tended garden. The seasons had changed since she’d arrived at the rehabilitation centre. Spring had turned to summer, with the trees in leaf and the roses in full bloom. A year gone by since she’d left London for West Berlin, full of anticipation and excitement. Little knowing that her nightmares would begin the day she crossed to the East and continue during the seven months she lived undercover. The final farewell with Dagmar pressed at her memory. During her imprisonment in the Hohenschönhausen, Nikki had clung to the hope she would be reunited with the woman she loved. Never did she think her dreams of a happy-ever-after would be dashed because Dagmar had moved on. 

Nikki tapped out a cigarette from the packet in her pocket and lit the end from the one she’d just finished. Although she’d sworn to cut down, she went through two packs daily, double the amount she used to smoke before leaving for the Deutsche Demokratische Republik.

The door swung open, and PD entered the room. A personal interpretation of a smile hovered about his mouth. Nikki assumed the chalk-striped three-piece suit that clothed his body was courtesy of his tailor in Saville Row. He ran a hand over his head, smoothing down thinning hair, and made his way towards her. As usual, he didn’t waste any time on preliminaries. Did Dr Brown inform you about Linda’s demise?

Yes, Nikki said. And she told me how Linda died.

We managed to retrieve Linda’s body. PD took Nikki’s arm and steered her towards two battered leather armchairs slouching in the corner of the room. She’s buried at St Mary’s if you want to visit.

During her daily walk, she strolled past the little church encircled by a row of thatched cottages tucked into green rolling hills. Over time, she’d checked every headstone in the graveyard. All were inscribed with dates from the 17th and 18th centuries. Her wrinkled brow must have been a dead giveaway.

Several years ago, PD said, the Service requisitioned a piece of ground behind the church. The plots are for officers who’ve died in the line of duty and, for various reasons, cannot be buried near their family.

Nikki swallowed over the lump in her throat. Linda Santos’ family could never know she died in East Germany because they had attended her funeral three years ago. Undercover, she had infiltrated a drug cartel in Columbia and became the boss’s mistress. A leak from a CIA double agent had accumulated in the baron tracking her down, and Linda spending months in hospital. PD had thought it prudent that she resume a new identity. Thank you for arranging to bring Linda home. Her voice broke when she added, I’d hate to think of her buried in that foul country.

Linda made the ultimate sacrifice. PD’s voice was soft and compassionate.  I’ve lost two female agents in the last two years. Jasmine, Nikki’s erstwhile girlfriend, had died during the Istanbul operation. You’ll probably call me a chauvinist pig, but both Linda and Jasmine’s deaths have been doubly difficult because they were women. PD turned and looked directly at her. And I know it’s been tough on you.

Her emotions close to breaking point, Nikki nodded in affirmation.

PD indicated the chair on the right and waited until Nikki was settled before lowering himself into its twin. A grimace crossed his face. I injured my back when I was practising my swing. He glanced at Nikki expecting a sympathetic reaction.

Weekends on the golf course will do that, she thought to herself and said, Did you check Linda’s clothing? She sewed a small pocket in the waistband of her trousers.

Before she was arrested, Nikki had thrown the tiny camera containing photos of Zimmermann’s notes on the floor in the hope that Lonnie or Linda would pick it up.

PD shuffled in his chair. Although no one was in the room, he lowered his