Generations

By Diedre Banks

Meredith’s life is suddenly forever changed when her mother does not return home one day. While growing up at home without her mother, Meredith learns to lean on her father who experiences struggles of his own. One day, Meredith is suddenly forced to deal with the pain of her past when an unexpected house guest arrives. Follow the faith-based healing journey of Meredith and her family as they tackle the same mental and emotional challenges that impact many of us today.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 15, 2024
• ISBN: 9798385017737

Diedre Banks

Diedre Banks is a pastor, the founder of the modern-day love movement called the National Day of Love, and the founder of EBL Ministries International. She is an avid believer in receiving God’s best and getting all that He has for us. She believes that, through His power, we can change our nations for the better. You can find her online at www.nationaldayoflove.org or www.eblministriesinternational.org.

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Copyright © 2024 Diedre Banks.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1774-4 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1775-1 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1773-7 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024901787

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/08/2024

To my family who persevered with me to see this to completion. You are my muse.

CONTENTS

1 Tennessee

2 Empty Bottles

3 Old Memories

4 More Memories of the Past

5 I Love My Daddy

6 Time to Face the Music

7 New Beginnings and Old Friends

8 Mama Comes Home

9 Who Are You?

10 My Dear Aunt Sally

11 A Seat at the Table

12 The House of the Lord

13 Hidden Secrets

14 Stairways to Heaven

15 Unanswered Questions

16 Bad Dreams

17 There’s Something Wrong

18 Cupcakes and Frosting

19 Come Inside

20 It’s Time

21 Relapses

22 Doctors and Medicine

23 It’s Cold in Here

24 Where’s Miss Pauline?

25 It’s an Emergency

26 Help Is on the Way

27 Twenty-One Questions

28 It’s Starting

29 Wake Up

30 Feed My Soul

31 Doctor’s Visits

32 My Daddy’s House

33 Sit and Talk for a While

34 A Good Night’s Sleep

35 Road Trip

36 Revelation Knowledge

37 New Dreams

38 Open Wounds

39 Hard Confessions

40 Breakfast of Champions

41 The Full Understanding

42 Godly Sorrows

43 Unlikely Friends

44 Secrets Exposed

45 New Information

46 I Need Help

47 The Spirit of Rejection

48 Nightmares

49 A Lifetime of Questions

50 Mutual Expectations

51 Humble Abodes

52 Long-Lost Answers

53 Hope Does Not Disappoint

54 Spring Up, Old Well

Afterword

1

TENNESSEE

Tennessee was cold this time of year. It was November 1949. The leaves fell off the trees, swaying in the wind one after another. I lived in Tennessee all my life. It’s all I knew. My memaw on my mama’s side had lived here way before I was born—and so had Mama and Daddy. When I was little, Daddy rocked me in his chair and told me stories about Memaw.

I had just turned six years old at the time, but I remembered it like it was yesterday. Mama had been gone from us almost a year. After Mama left, we moved to a small three-bedroom house in the Canterbury Woods Subdivision in Collierville, Tennessee. Daddy said we couldn’t stay at our old house in Collierville anymore. That’s when we moved to Canterbury Woods. I thought Mama could come with us, but Daddy told me that she was gone.

Our house had little red shutters and white paint. The long gravel driveway seemed to go on forever as it winded and turned. Our house backed right up to the woods. On sunny days, I liked going out and catching salamanders and snails with my bare hands. I would reach right down in the river and grab them with Daddy by my side. He held on to my back so I wouldn’t fall in.

Memaw was no-nonsense. She told it like it is. Daddy chuckled as I peered into his dark eyes. Then he smiled down at me in his lap. My uneven pigtails nestled into Daddy’s work shirt while I sat with him in a tan rocking chair in the living room. The chair had stains and scratches from the years of wear and tear. It had been around for generations and had been passed down as a family treasure. My grandma rocked Daddy in it when he was a baby. Creak, creak, that old chair went.

One time, I came to pick up your mama for a date. I was about twenty-two at the time, and your mama was five years my junior. Your mama grew up with Memaw in Pocahontas, Arkansas. They moved right outside of Collierville, Tennessee, when your mama was around six years old. Memaw was hoping to find new opportunities in Tennessee.

I’m six years old now, Daddy! I yelled with glee. I was excited to be the same age as Mama in this story. We had something in common.

Daddy chuckled. You sure are right, pumpkin. Daddy rubbed my head with his hand.

Memaw was a single woman, and it wasn’t easy to find solid work. But that didn’t stop Memaw. Daddy stopped rubbing my head and shook his head as he smiled. She was strong and determined. She would go from town to town, looking for work cleaning and tidying up people’s houses. Daddy paused to see if I was still listening. Since I was a daydreamer, I had to keep myself focused. Daddy taught me to look at people’s chins when they were talking so I could see the movement up and down. Then I would know if they were done talking. His dad taught him that trick so he wouldn’t interrupt him when he was telling a good story. I nodded in agreement, keeping my eyes on Daddy’s chin. It slowed down so I knew he was done talking. Daddy nodded at me and smiled, pleased at my attention to his words.

Your mama is Memaw’s daughter, Daddy said. That makes Memaw your grandmother. Daddy’s nose crinkled when he talked, and the corners of his mouth turned into a smile.

I nodded, a little confused, but I understood the basics. Memaw was my grandmother on my mama’s side.

I remember when I arrived at Memaw’s house to pick up Mama for a date. We hadn’t gone out but only a few times so far. I wore coveralls with my auto mechanic work shirt and a cowboy hat at the time. I was running late and didn’t have time to go home to change after work. Memaw took one look at me when I got to the front door and said, ‘You are not wearing that hillbilly outfit to take out my daughter. Now go put on something respectable.’ I didn’t go to formal school, but I sure did work fixing cars. I guess Memaw wasn’t having that! Daddy laughed.

"Your mama stood beside me in the front room of her house. Her eyes were wide and nervously darted toward the floor when I tried to make eye contact. She wore a beautiful lavender dress. She even wore a flower in her hair to match her dress. Memaw turned to your mama standing there in the front room and said, ‘Pauline, you wait for your date in the parlor. I’m going to take him to find something respectable to wear on a date with my daughter.’ Then Memaw smiled at me and nodded for me to follow behind her. Your mama nervously went to wait in the parlor. I didn’t know what to do.

"My knees were shaking so hard. Memaw, not waiting for me to respond, walked to the back of the house, and yelled for me to follow behind her. I ran down the hallway after her so as not to seem impolite. She took me to the storage room at the back of the house where she had a sewing machine neatly on the table and clothes stacked in boxes. Beside the boxes were some paper bags like you get from the grocery store. She handed me a small bag and told me to look inside. I immediately opened the bag and peered inside. I saw what looked like the hem of blue jeans on top, but I couldn’t see beneath. My mouth fell open with excitement. I quickly looked up at Memaw in disbelief at the nice surprise.

"She said, ‘I keep these for some young boys in the neighborhood when they need to go to an interview or do something fancy. I get them from the people whose house I clean.’

I frowned immediately, Daddy said, looking down at me. "I didn’t want anything stolen from some rich person’s house. Memaw frowned back at me offended. ‘No, boy, I didn’t take them,’ she said, bringing me back to my senses. Then she snatched the bag back from me. ‘I’ll have you know, I’m no thief, boy. They give them to me.’ She pointed her little finger and shook it right in my face.

I was so embarrassed, Meredith, Daddy said to me with his eyes full of emotion. "How could I insult the woman of the house? I just wasn’t thinking. I quickly apologized.

"‘I’m so sorry, ma’am,’ I told her. ‘I must have just forgotten my manners.’ I quickly bowed and pleaded for mercy. Memaw nodded slowly. Then she sighed. After a moment, she smiled back at me and handed the bag over. She told me a second time to look inside. ‘This time, don’t judge,’ she said, huffing under her breath. ‘Yes, ma’am,’ I replied politely.

Phew, Daddy said, wiping his brow with his right hand. He seemed relieved that moment of his life was over.

I smiled at Daddy. I was glad too that Memaw had let Daddy keep seeing Mama. So, what happened then, Daddy? What did you do with the clothes? I rested my hands again on my chin and looked at Daddy. This time, I looked into his eyes. They were full of wonder and joy.

Daddy smiled down at me in his lap. I think he enjoyed the happiness I got from listening to his stories. "Well, I reached into the bag that Memaw gave me and pulled out a pair of crisp jeans, a white shirt, and suspenders.

Whoo-hoo! Daddy whistled. It was like Christmas morning. The clothes were freshly pressed and everything. I didn’t know if Memaw had pressed them or if it was the people she cleaned for who had done it. Then Daddy shook his head and looked up at the ceiling.

Even though a part of me wanted to say no to the gift out of pride, I couldn’t say no to Memaw. She wasn’t taking no for an answer anyway. Daddy laughed as he leaned back in the rocking chair and looked over at the large clock on the wall.

Memaw sounds so neat and generous, I thought. I want to be just like her when I grow up.

Daddy said, I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror after I put those clothes on. I’m not going to lie, baby girl; I looked sharp. I was smiling at myself and beaming in that bathroom mirror. I hoped your mama would like it, those clothes being handed down from her mama and all. I still had to wear my steel-toe work shoes with it, but I didn’t care. Daddy leaned back in the rocking chair while he held me in his lap. He rocked steadily back and forth. Your mama took one look at me and said, ‘Why, you look handsome, Mr. Bo Graham.

I squinted my eyes as I looked at Daddy. Bo? I hadn’t heard that name before.

Daddy stopped leaning back in his chair so he could look down at me. Bo is my middle name. Daddy smiled. Folks in the neighborhood where I grew up in Collierville and at the school used to call me by my middle name. They said Carlton was too fancy for me. They said I looked more like a Bo. Daddy laughed. People sure do take their liberties, but I didn’t mind when your mama did it. I liked her calling me Bo. It was like she knew me.

I cut in and said, So how did you and Mama meet, Daddy? I was eager to hear more about Mama and Daddy, especially Mama. She was like a riddle waiting to be solved.

Sure thing, pumpkin. Daddy nodded. Well, Mama grew up near Collierville. You know that part of the story, but what you may not know is that, back then, we learned in one-room schoolhouses. Although I lived right inside Collierville—and your mama lived outside the city—people from miles around joined together to learn. The teachers were very smart. Your mama was five years younger than me, but she was in my class. Many of us from different grades were learning together in the same room. I always had an eye on your mama. She was favored by the teacher and always got the most attention. Daddy beamed from ear to ear. She was so attentive and eager to learn. Despite her circumstances at home being hard, with just her and her mama, she didn’t let that stop her. She came to class every day prepared to learn and take notes.

Mama sounds so strong, I thought. She is just like Memaw. I desired even more now to be like them than I did when Daddy first started telling me this story. But one thing bothered me: Why didn’t Mama have a daddy?

2

EMPTY BOTTLES

Daddy leaned back in the rocking chair while he held me in his lap and closed his eyes. My round brown eyes and country girl exterior stared up at Daddy. He sat there for several moments just thinking. I didn’t know what about. I just stared at him from below. Then Daddy slowly lifted me up out of the chair and put me down onto my two feet. I turned around to face him.

Daddy looked at me square in the eyes. His eyes hung low, and he looked sad deep inside. He said, I’m not up to talking anymore right now, baby girl.

I wasn’t ready for the story to end. I immediately crossed my arms and frowned at Daddy, hoping he would change his mind about getting up. I wanted to hear more about Mama and Daddy.

Daddy looked at me and shook his head while he laughed sarcastically. Instead of changing his mind, Daddy crossed his arms and sternly looked at me in both eyes. I know, pumpkin. You want to hear more about Mama and me, but I’m just not up for it. Daddy pointed to the floor where I kept a pink and blue dollhouse. Beside it were some small cars and baby dolls.

Why don’t you go over there and play a bit with that dollhouse I built you last summer? That’ll make you happy. Daddy smiled at me and stood up from his chair. He patted me on the head and placed his hands on my shoulders.

I wouldn’t budge. I just pouted my lip more than before and dug my heels into the floor.

Daddy looked at me for a moment and sighed. Stepping around me, he walked toward the kitchen.

I spun around to see what he was doing.

The refrigerator opened, and Daddy bent down in front of it. But what was he doing? He stood up with his back to me and reached toward the counter next to the refrigerator to grab a small object.

I heard the snapping sound of a bottle opening. Oh no, I thought.

Daddy closed the refrigerator and turned toward me with a drink in his hand. He threw his beer back and took a nice long swig.

I frowned and looked down at the ground, hoping that my pouting would finally get Daddy’s attention. After a few seconds of pouting, I peeked an eye up to see if he was looking. No such luck. He was lost in his beer. With Mama gone, he had been drinking more than usual, but I didn’t know why.

I stood there frowning at Daddy from the living room as he stood in the kitchen. He strode back to the rocking chair where we had been sitting with me earlier and sat back down. He immediately began to sip his drink and close his eyes. He rocked back and forth as his neck rested on the back of the rocking chair. It’s like the chair beat to music that only Daddy could hear.

His big hands held his drink in his lap. He looked so peaceful, but I hated it.

I dragged myself over to where he sat rocking away in his chair and tapped him on his shoulder.

His eyes opened wide.

Daddy, do you have to do that tonight? I pointed to the bottle of beer in his lap.

He placed one hand on his stomach. Baby girl, all this talk about your mama and old times got me nostalgic. He shook his head. I miss my family, and—by gosh—I don’t know how much more of this I can handle with your mama gone. Daddy closed his eyes again and leaned way back in his rocking chair. I just want a little something to cool me down.

I shook my head and stomped my feet. I want my daddy! I huffed and puffed while throwing my arms around myself. You won’t pay no kind of attention to me with that drink in your hand. I pointed down to the half-empty beer in his lap.

Daddy opened his eyes quickly as if someone had pinched his arm. He looked confused and annoyed at the same time. I’m sorry, baby girl. He took a deep breath. I just need this right now. He held his beer with one hand. Then he hesitated as if waiting for something to happen, but there was only silence. Then he lifted his beer to his mouth and took a long drink. I wasn’t sure how long it was, but it felt like forever. Daddy put the empty bottle down in his lap. I’ll play with you in a bit. He smiled at me and reached over to pat my head.

I took a step backward and frowned. I wanted my daddy now. I didn’t want to have to wait.

Oh, baby girl. I could tell Daddy saw the anger on my face. He looked hurt and upset. How about I tell you another story while I relax a bit?

I pouted my lip and nodded slowly.

All right, baby girl. Daddy motioned for me to sit on the couch next to the rocking chair. You sit here, and I’ll tell you more about your mama’s family. Maybe that will make you feel better.

I nodded gleefully. I loved hearing about Mama. I immediately jumped on the couch and leaned into Daddy. I’m not sure what changed Daddy’s mind, but I sure was glad it had. Maybe my pouting had worked after all.

Daddy got up from his rocking chair and sat next to me on the couch. Then he leaned back and closed his eyes. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and turned toward me. His eyes were full of deep emotions. They glistened in the ceiling light of the living room. I loved your mama, but I guess she just wasn’t happy being in one spot. Maybe she didn’t know how to settle down. Your mama grew up with just her mama. Her mama raised her by herself and her mother before her. Generations had been fatherless until you came along, baby girl. Daddy turned his body to me and stared into my eyes.

I stared back at Daddy. I couldn’t quite understand why Mama didn’t have a daddy, but I knew not to ask too many questions. Daddy was tired and needed his rest. I turned up my face at the thought of having to be quiet. Suddenly, my face lit up. Maybe I could get by with just one question. So, my mama was a married woman, but none before her?

Daddy shook his head. I don’t know about none, baby girl, but not really any before I came alone. He paused. Generations had been fatherless, but I knew your mama wanted things different. She wanted a family. That’s something that I loved about her. Daddy smiled at me and touched my nose with his finger. She always wanted a family. She just wanted to be married to do it.

I closed my eyes and laid my head on Daddy’s arm. I loved my daddy so much. I couldn’t imagine life without him. He always comforted me, but I still wanted Mama too. Was it impossible to have both?

3

OLD MEMORIES

"Meredith’s mama is a witch and ran off and left them! She’s not a dignitary or helping the needy!" Stacey Abante yelled at me as she stood on the second-grade playground.

I was eight years old, and the girls at school were just as mean as they could be. My mama ain’t no witch! You take that back! I picked up a rock to throw at Stacey.

The playground filled up with students trying to see what was going on. Unfortunately, I didn’t really have any friends to take my back. I was going to have to fight Stacey Abante myself. No one was going to talk about my mama.

Meredith keeps saying her mama’s a dignitary, but admit it, Meredith. No one knows where your mama is. People down at the church say she did witchcraft and got run out of town! Stacey Abante had nice new shoes and a polished jacket. Her hair was neatly combed like her mama had done it right before school. She stood with her hands firmly on her sides as she rolled her neck and taunted me.

Well, Mama is a busy woman, and she has many jobs that she does to help others. Sometimes she must travel, and she has been gone for a little while. My heart sank. I had just lied right through my teeth. No one knew where Mama was, including me. I stood there trying to smile at Stacey Abante, but it was a menacing smile. I probably looked more like I was grimacing at her. But what did I care? She had started this fight, and I was going to end it.

Tell the truth, Meredith! No one knows where your mama is. Stacey Abante stared at me with angry eyes. And your hair hasn’t been combed in weeks. She smirked. Don’t nobody like that one bun your daddy does because he can’t do neat braids.

I touched my uneven braids and tried to tuck them into the back of my shirt. I had convinced Daddy not to do a bun today, but how long could I keep that up?

Girls on the swings laughed and kicked their feet. The boys on the jungle gym shook their heads.

That’s mean, Stacey! Riley O’Connor yelled from the jungle gym. He was a third grader, and his daddy was a deacon at a church in Memphis. He always tried to stick up for people when Stacey was being mean to them. That’s why I can’t marry you, Stacey! My daddy says when girls are mean, run in the other direction.

Riley’s friends laughed and ran around the jungle gym to chase him.

Stacey turned toward the jungle gym. I don’t want to marry you … no way. Boys have cooties! Stacey stuck out her tongue and rolled her neck again. She crossed her arms and turned around to look at all the people who had gathered around us.

A crowd was beginning to form to see what was going on. Even the third and fourth graders had come over to look.

This is my chance.