Everyone Dies: Journey of a Hospice Nurse

By Karen Martin BSN

Karen Martin has had so many experiences as a hospice nurse over twenty-five years that she arrived at a place where she knew she had to share what she’s seen and learned about death with others.

Everyone Dies reveals stories of love, hope, despair, joy, and sorrow. Some of the author’s experiences are encouraging, some are happy, some are heartbreaking, but each one taught her as well as the patients and families she’s cared for valuable lessons..

The book includes periodic poetry breaks to share how the author felt as she went through each of her experiences.

Whether you just like real-life stories, have someone you love who is walking or walked the hospice journey, are a student nurse or further along in your journey of caring for people at the end of life, you’ll agree that every day is a gift after reading this book.

In caring for others, the author has received so much more than she’s given. God has been at her side the entire way, and she gives Jesus all the glory.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Feb 12, 2024
• ISBN: 9798385017089

Karen Martin BSN

Karen Martin, BSN has been a hospice nurse for more than twenty-five years. She has delivered numerous presentations to nursing homes and the public about how to prepare for death. She is also involved in prison ministry and women’s mentorship programs within her church. One of her greatest loves is spending time with her grandchildren and following them in all their activities. She is married and has two children.

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Copyright © 2024 Karen Martin, BSN.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Scripture quotation is taken from King James version of the Bible, public domain.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Interior Image Credit: Jessi Blunier

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1710-2 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1709-6 (hc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-1708-9 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024901073

WestBow Press rev. date: 02/12/2024

To my son, who gave me the inspiration of my book’s title. He is now almost forty, but when he was in the 4th grade, his teacher gave her class an assignment to tell of a parent’s occupation. Daniel stood up in front of the class and solemnly stated, My mom is a nurse and everyone she takes care of dies. He then sat down.

To my beautiful patients’ memories: They weathered the storms of life and taught me so many lessons about death. But more than that, they taught me how to live.

To my hospice families, who labored patiently, caring for those they loved and were such examples of giving.

To my faithful husband, Doug, who cheered me on when I was weary, encouraged me to write down my stories, and continues to be my best friend in life.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Karen lives on a large farm with her husband, Doug, who is now retired from his occupation. He was an electrician for over 40 years. God has given him a beautiful voice and he enjoys singing and playing his guitar for events, local nursing homes, and with his son and grandchildren.

We have two children: Lori, our daughter, is a Barber, and loves to create jewelry. Daniel, our son is a gastroenterologist at a local hospital, and a great daddy. His wife, Megan, is a Registered Nurse but presently staying at home being the best mom any child could wish for. They have blessed us with four beautiful grandchildren: Abe, Emery, Nora, and Mary, who are twins. No words can describe the love in our hearts for each of them.

Maybe you opened this book because you like personal real-life stories. Or maybe someone you loved walked the journey of hospice. Or maybe you are a student nurse beginning the nursing journey and want further experiences with end-of-life situations. Whatever the reason, come along with me and walk the hospice journey. You will agree that every day is a gift.

I am including little snapshots of some of my experiences, some encouraging, some happy, some heartbreaking, to show the wisdom my patients and families shared with me.

Also included are periodic poetry breaks to share how I felt going through these experiences.

CONTENTS

About the Author

Preface

1 I Love You

2 It’s the Same Dress!

3 God Is in the Corner

4 Bedside Goodbye (a Poem)

5 I Need to Go to the Light

6 I Am So Scared to Die!

7 The Wedding

8 Where am I Supposed to Be?

9 Let’s Dance

10 No Response

11 God’s Protection

12 The Blue Feather

13 The Feather (a Poem)

14 A Mother’s Love

15 Mother, Go in Peace (a Poem)

16 There Is No Coincidence with God

17 Life’s Final Descent (a Poem)

18 Come, my love

19 Time is the Greatest Gift You Can Give

20 Too Late

21 Angel Medallion

22 I Would Rather Have Jesus

23 Heaven or Hell—It’s up to You (a Poem)

24 Five Simple Words

25 Fairy Tales Are Only in Books

26 Letting Go (a Poem)

27 Giving Permission to Go

28 Death Is Real

29 The Master Plan (a Poem) The Master Plan is Perfect

30 Agony

31 One Perfect Baby

32 Now Is Not the Time

33 In the Name of Jesus

34 I Remember You (a Poem)

35 Forty Days

36 Billy’s Love

37 Money, Money, Money

38 The Root of Evil (a Poem)

39 A Long Wait for Death

40 Unconditional Love of Duke

41 I Heard the Owl Call My Name

42 My Last Visit

43 Dad, My Rock

PREFACE

Yeah, It’s Tough!

M y desire as you read these stories, is not to focus on myself as a hospice nurse but a shout-out to all the families who so lovingly care for their loved ones day after day, month after month so diligently. It is a 24/7 job. But almost every family sees it as an honor to care for their loved ones, to be there for them every day, and to witness their deterioration and death with love and devo tion.

It is a job none of you signed up for, but as I look back on all my families and see your unending patience, love, and care of your family members, it always brings tears to my eyes. When they tell me they don’t regret a single, solitary moment, I believe them. When they tell me they are exhausted but will rest after the death, I trust them.

When I leave a home after being on call for a week and hardly have a night’s rest, I think of them still in the trenches—possibly for another month or two. Then I realize my desire for sleep seems so selfish and trite.

So to the families who have cared for loved ones day after day, I commend you. Those spouses who have done it alone, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Those daughters and sons who have cared for their parents, I truly believe you will never regret it one moment.

As I look back on every experience with my families, I have learned so much about life, living, and death. I have learned that caring for someone is a true honor, and being with them in the hard times brings a peace that nothing can surpass. I thank you for showing me unending perseverance and love. I will never forget any of you.

My life is forever changed because of all of you, and I cherish each journey I have walked with you. You all have made me stronger, wiser, and shown me unconditional love and endurance. It’s because of you that this career is not a job but a true labor of love.

1

I Love You

I heard a ringing somewhere in the distance. Where am I? Is that my p hone?

My hazy and exhausted mind tried to make sense of my surroundings as I crawled out of my warm bed from a deep sleep. The cold wind was whirling outside, and the freezing rain pelted our bedroom window like an old, worn-out manual typewriter. I felt shivers from head to toe as I lumbered to my phone.

I am a hospice nurse who walks the end-of-life journeys with my patients. They typically have been given a prognosis of six months or less to live. I am on call about every four weeks for a week at a time, including weekends.

Hello, this is Karen the nurse. How may I help you? I spoke softly into my phone after the answering service connected me. Before cell phones came to be, there