Tales of Disastrous Dates: The Tales Short Story Collection, #3

By D. C. Gomez, Jamie Dalton, Kristene Michelle and 3 more

Love gone wrong!

This collection of supernatural shorts will have you howling with laughter at the chaos of magical dating mishaps.

From a villainess on a speed dating rampage to a lovesick reaper's night shift gone awry, these enchanting stories are filled with sassy witches, fierce femmes, cinnamon roll shifters, and more. Prepare for hijinks, mayhem, and disaster as fated mates collide and curses wreak havoc.

Fall in love with this bewitching bundle of disastrous supernatural dates!

• Language: English
• Publisher: T.A.L.E.S.
• Release date: Jan 31, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224363926

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Copyright © 2024 by T.A.L.E.S.

All rights reserved.

No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher or author, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law.

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Letter from The Librarian

Well, my dear fabulous Reader,

It is time for the first quarter report for T.A.L.E.S., and I have to say it’s been a very busy season. Before I start, I was made aware we have many new patrons on our distribution list for this quarter. This is something I’m very confused with since membership in our services is by invitation only. I have a suspicion that a certain 5000-year-old talking cat might be responsible for the leak. Of course, my dear Constantine, I’m not implying anything against you, my dear friend. But the timing of this increase and your concern for our well-being is too coincidental.

Forgive me, my friend, I digress. Just to clarify for all our new members, I’m The Librarian for T.A.L.E.S. and we are the largest repository of information in both the human and the supernatural world. If you are confused, the L stands for Library, even though T.A.L.E.S. is a sentient being. There are entrances to our location across many universes and we are proud to capture the richness of every world around. Our librarians are the most resourceful connoisseurs of information around.

Now, back to the report. I’m pleased to announce the flooding in the Pacific entrance was contained, and all documents were secure. My Interns are working hard to organize that section again. For some strange reason, T.A.L.E.S. has requested I make sure they have Valentine’s Day off. Something about my intern Jamie having a date. This is most distressing. Doesn’t she know how dangerous the dating scene truly is, especially for humans? I really don’t want to take the chance of losing her again. Granted, now Magnetra is the one I can’t find. Do I really have three interns?

Let’s focus on the report. Another note of celebration. Our librarians (and yes, even my Interns) captured over 2.2 million books published last year. While this is exciting news, it also means expansion is in order. It appears these numbers will continue to rise every year, making the construction in the Mars wing a hot new project. I have to admit, here at T.A.L.E.S., we are thrilled for this milestone; it implies mandatory overtime for all the staff. My librarians will be ecstatic.

The question is, how to break the news to the Interns? They are a bit sensitive for some strange reason. I’ll try to wait until after Valentine’s, but the expansion cannot be delayed for too long. Maybe if I give them some examples of disastrous dates, they will rethink this whole situation. I have included some that have recently come across my desk. Take a look at them and let me know what you all think. I’m in need of some good examples for these poor girls.

Looking forward to our second quarter report. Should be able to give you all amazing updates on the expansion as well as the survival of my interns. It’s a hard job to be the keeper of information. Just a quick note, (because I like you)- it is vital you pay your fees on time. Our sub-sub-sub-basement is overflowing with mummies. Don’t get turned into one because you cannot pay or return your books on time.

Thank you for your patronage- The Librarian

Intern notes:

DC: Hey Jamie, do you think we should tell her about your alter-ego, Magnetra?

Jamie: Are you kidding me? She might give us more work as punishment.

DC: Good point. But are you going to tell her about your date?

Jamie: I don’t think I need to explain myself. Besides, I disclosed my marital status on my application.

DC: You are having too much fun torturing her.

Jamie: Maybe (evil laugh from her). Besides, we are getting Tuesday off.

DC: We haven’t had a day off in four months. I’m in!

Jamie: Maybe we can convince T.A.L.E.S. The Librarian should give us Mother’s Day off as well.

DC: You do know Mother’s Day is on a Sunday, right?

Jamie: In that case, let’s aim for the entire week!

DC: We have been underground for too long. We are losing it.

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Chapter 1

Here I stand, Lillith Shadowend. Must I always make such a dramatic entrance? Yes, I think I must. My raven-black hair cascades like a waterfall of darkness. Please. And do my eyes truly glitter with cunning and mischief? How cliché. I know what you all see—a powerful sorceress who views herself as better than the rest. But can you blame me? As the most powerful villain in the three kingdoms, I have a reputation to maintain. This aura of raw power that surrounds me is a necessity—it reminds these fools that I am not one to be trifled with. I play the part of the dark and mysterious enchantress because I must, not because I want to amuse you all with these theatrics. Now, shall we get on with destroying my enemy like the dangerous force of nature I am? I haven’t got all evening for this nonsense...

The speed dating event is nothing but a sideshow to me, a necessary means to an end. My true purpose for being there is far more sinister—the elimination of one Gary Barman. His crime? Attempting to break into my home in the mountains and steal a piece of jewelry that holds no real worth to me. Yet, as the most powerful villain in the three kingdoms, I cannot let such a transgression go unpunished. If word spreads that someone named Gary has bested me, my reputation will be tarnished beyond repair.

I mutter under my breath, Gary, you have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into.

As I scan the room, searching for the face that matches the name, I can’t help but feel disdain for the charade playing out before me. The participants laugh and flirt with one another, oblivious to the danger that lurks among them.

Pathetic, I whisper to myself. Time to turn on the charm. Smirking, I prepare to engage in this ridiculous game of human connection.

Heavy beams with chandeliers hang above me and polished stone gleams from the flickering candles below my feet. As I approach each table, I allow the darkness within me to spill out in small, subtle ways. A whispered curse here, a minor hex there—all designed to make their lives just that much more miserable. And it is working. I can see the confusion and frustration growing in their eyes as they try to figure out what is going wrong.

I had chosen a form-fitting black gown with a scoop neck, long sleeves, and a corset a touch more snug than I normally would wear. It’s revealing just enough to draw attention but not enough to distract from the aura of power that surrounds me. One of the benefits of being a villain in Necia is you can wear what you want. No constraints like the honorable part of society have on them to stay in good standing with our ridiculous king.

It’s not our fault that we’re born to villainous parents. Being a villain is an automatic death sentence and according to the laws of Necia, if you’re born with a parent who’s a villain, you’re one too. So technically you could blame all of my villainous ways on our ever so noble and upright king. I would, but I wouldn’t want to give him that satisfaction. I’ve worked hard for my ranking and the tremble that happens when someone hears my name.

Pathetic, I mutter, disdain dripping from every syllable as I swerve to miss an already intoxicated man in red. The event hasn’t even officially started and many here are beyond help.

Five minutes with each of these imbeciles. I suppress a shudder. I must remember to keep my emotions in check and focus on the task at hand.

As I wait for the event to begin, I can’t help but notice the sidelong glances directed my way—gleams of awe, fear, and challenge flicker in their eyes as they recognize who I am. I allow myself a small, cruel smile, knowing that even here, among this den of vipers, I am feared and respected.

At the sound of a spoon clinking on glass, my eyes are immediately drawn to the host of the speed dating event. His charming smile is warm and inviting, like a beacon in the otherwise gloomy atmosphere. His piercing blue eyes seem to sparkle with mischief and his impeccable attire only serves to accentuate his broad shoulders.

Welcome, everyone, to this magical evening of love and enchantment! he says theatrically as he spreads his arms wide, gesturing to the intimately arranged tables where the participants will soon be seated.

I roll my eyes at his over-the-top performance. The whole concept of speed dating is ridiculous to me—the superficiality, the frivolity of it all. It grates on my nerves, making me question why I had even bothered to attend. But then again, there is a mission to be accomplished, and I am nothing if not determined.

Please, make yourselves comfortable, and may you find the spark that ignites a fiery passion within your hearts tonight! the host continues, his voice dripping with honeyed charm. What a load of drivel. How could anyone possibly believe they could find true connection or depth in such a contrived setting?

Thank you, I mutter along with the rest of the crowd, trying to keep my disdain from seeping into my voice. As much as I loathe this charade, I can’t afford to draw attention to myself. My reputation as the most powerful villain in the three kingdoms precedes me, and I’m not about to let anyone jeopardize my mission here.

Ah, the lovely Lillith Shadowend, the host says, flashing me another one of his dazzling smiles as he approaches me, takes my hand, and brushes his lips across the back of it. A pleasure to have you here.

Likewise, I reply, barely suppressing the urge to wrench my hand away from his overly familiar grasp. Instead, I plaster a tight smile on my face and make no effort to allow this conversation to continue.

He hesitates for a moment before guiding me to a table and gesturing for me to sit, signifying to the rest of the guests that they should follow suit. What am I? A dog that needs to be led on a leash? As he releases my hand I offer a slight nod and wipe my hand clean as soon as he turns his attention to someone else.

As the first bell rings and the participants begin to shuffle around, exchanging forced pleasantries with their soon-to-be partners, I steel my resolve. The frivolity of this event sickens me, but my mission is paramount, and I will not let the distractions of foolhardy suitors deter me from my ultimate goal.

I survey the contenders with a critical eye, assessing each potential ally or enemy. Most appear shallow and self-absorbed, concerned only with inflating their own egos. They’re ideal marks for manipulation, to be sure, but none seem particularly useful in aiding my covert operation. Not that I need any help. You don’t make your way to the top by needing assistance from those beneath you.

Chapter 2

Isense the air shift as a figure steps into my view. He is a towering force, with broad shoulders and muscular arms that seem to fill any space he occupies. His dark hair is a cascade of shadows, framing his face in a stormy halo. Deep-set brown eyes peer out from beneath heavy brows, giving him an expression that is both brooding and menacing. This is Xixor Shade, a beast of a man whose very presence was like a thunderclap. I know him well, perhaps too well.

Ah, Xixor, I say, unable to keep the disdain from seeping into my voice. What a… surprise.

My green eyes narrow, taking him in. Our relationship is complicated, to say the least. It isn’t every day you are forced to confront someone who had once been your ally, only for them to become your bitter enemy. As I look at Xixor, the memories we share bubble up like poison, threatening to consume me.

Likewise, Lillith, he rumbles, a smirk twisting his lips. Fancy seeing you here.

I sneer in response, feeling the familiar flare of anger whenever his name graces my thoughts. Our interactions had always been fraught with tension, like two wolves circling one another, each waiting for the other to strike first. There is no love lost between us, and I am eager to remind him of that fact.

Let’s not pretend we’re on friendly terms, Xixor, I say, folding my arms across my chest. We both know that’s far from the truth.

Indeed, he replies coolly, his gaze locks on mine. But perhaps we can put our differences aside and enjoy this… event.

I snort, unable to contain my disgust. Enjoy is hardly the word I would use to describe this farce of a gathering. Speed dating, as it turns out, is just another way for pathetic fools to search for something they’d never find: true connection. But I have my own reasons for being here, and Xixor’s presence isn’t going to change that.

Fine, I mutter, gritting my teeth. But don’t expect me to play nice.

Wouldn’t dream of it, he says , his voice dripping with sarcasm as he sits in the chair across from me.

Did it ever occur to you that I might want nothing to do with you? I ask, my tone icy as I stare at Xixor. We sit in the dimly lit room, the flickering candlelight casting sinister shadows upon our faces.

Likewise, Xixor retorts, crossing his arms over his massive chest. But since we’re both here, we might as well make the best of this ridiculous situation.

Is that what you think this is? I sneer, my green eyes narrowing. A ‘ridiculous situation’? Just because you can’t seem to let go of ancient history?

Let go? he scoffs, his deep-set brown eyes narrowing. You were the one who injured me during training, Lillith.

An accident and we were practically children, I spit, feeling a familiar rage bubble up within me. The memories of our time together in that wretched underground facility still haunt me, and the thought of Xixor dredging them up now feels like salt in an old wound.

Accident or not, it’s left me with a reminder of your treachery, he says, stretching his leg bearing the scar from our sparring mishap years ago. That mark is a constant reminder of the pain and betrayal I caused him, and part of me revels in the fact that it still torments him.

Good, I mutter under my breath, my inner thoughts taking a dark turn as they often do. It is a cruel satisfaction, knowing that I hold influence over him, even if it is through a painful memory.

Excuse me? Xixor snaps, clearly catching my subtle comment.

Never mind, I reply tersely, deciding it was best not to engage him further on the topic. Instead, I focus on analyzing his every word, and every movement. I know better than to trust him, and I refuse to let my guard down.

Fine, he grumbles, apparently willing to let the matter drop. For now.

The air between us practically crackles with tension, and every word feels like a dagger being thrown. Though it is difficult to admit, part of me relishes this bitter dance we are engaged in—the twisted, dark connection that binds us together despite our mutual disdain.

Must be nice, living in your own twisted world, he sneers, his brown eyes practically burning with contempt.

Better than being trapped in the mediocrity of yours, I shoot back, my patience wearing thin.

My fingers tap against the table, an erratic rhythm echoing my mounting frustration. The comfort of darkness eludes me as the room seems to close in, the walls adorned with garish tapestries and various weapons of war. It is as if the very air around us is oppressive, heavy with our past and shared resentments.

Remember, Lillith, we are not so different, you and I, he says, a sardonic smile playing on his lips.

Except for the fact that I’ve moved on from our petty squabbles, I lie, masking the bitterness that threatens to bubble over.

His laughter is sharp and mocking. You always did think you were better than everyone else.

Only because it’s true, I reply, my voice cold as ice.

Our attempts at connection crumble like ancient ruins, turning to dust beneath the weight of our egos. With every barbed word, the chasm between us grows wider, any hope of reconciliation slipping further away.

My eyes dart around the room, desperately seeking an escape from this stifling confrontation. I feel the stares of others boring into us, their curious gazes no doubt drawn by the dark cloud of tension hanging over our table. This is not where I wanted to be, not with him, not now.

Look, Lillith, Xixor begins, his tone momentarily softening, we don’t have to be enemies. We could—

Enough! I snap. There’s nothing left to say, Xixor. You’re just as much of a fool as you were back then.

His jaw clenches, and for a moment, I think he might strike me. But instead, he simply leans back in his chair, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

Very well, he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. Have it your way. But remember this—I will not forget what you’ve done, Lillith. And neither will the rest of the world.

By the gods, I hope not. I’ve worked hard to make it to this pedestal I stand on above you. The breeze up here is rather refreshing.

The air bristles with tension, like the charged atmosphere before a thunderstorm. I glare at Xixor from across the table, my fingers drumming a restless rhythm on its smooth surface. The small talk had long since run dry, and now we are left in an uncomfortable silence neither of us seems eager to fill. My eyes wander again, seeking an escape from the stifling presence of the man who had once held my heart in his calloused hands.

Try not to trip on your own ego, Xixor, I say, a final barb before our time together comes to an end.

Same to you, Lillith, he replies, his eyes cold and unyielding.

We sit in silence waiting for that irritating bell to ding, freeing us from each other. An idea strikes. While Gary hasn’t shown his face yet, I can still have some fun. There’s no reason Xixor should only have one thing to remember me by.

As I sit stewing in Xixor’s oppressive aura, I tap into my reservoir of dark magic. Threads of energy swirl around my fingers, unseen in