Finding Friends at the Cornish Country Hospital: the BRAND NEW instalment in the beautiful, uplifting romance series from TOP TEN BESTSELLER Jo Bartlett for 2024

By Jo Bartlett

The BRAND NEW instalment of bestselling author Jo Bartlett's Cornish Country Hospital Series. Perfect for fans of Grey's Anatomy!

A fresh beginning…

Esther Hamilton, is finally finding her feet after her split with her horrible ex, and is looking forward to her new single life. She has a job she loves in the busy Accident and Emergency department, a new home and for the first time ever, a chance to just have fun with her good friends. Love is very much off the cards…

An old friend…

Until the arrival of Joe Carter – the brother of Esther’s best friend, Danni. Joe is also newly single and still as gorgeous as ever, but Esther can’t lose her heart to Joe. If it all went wrong, she’d lose two of her best friends.

A second chance at love?

But working together over a troubled patient, the connection between them is undeniable. And when Esther's parents' marriage hits trouble, Joe is there for her, offering her support, and Esther knows she's fallen hard.

Are they brave enough to take a risk on love, or are they destined to remain friends forever?

Praise for Jo Bartlett:

'Stunning setting, wonderful characters, and oozing with warmth. A triumph from Jo Bartlett.' Jessica Redland

'Perfectly written and set in the beating heart of a community, this story is a wonderful slice of Cornish escapism.' Helen J Rolfe

• Language: English
• Publisher: Boldwood Books
• Release date: Mar 26, 2024
• ISBN: 9781804839393

Jo Bartlett

Jo Bartlett is the bestselling author of over nineteen women’s fiction titles. She fits her writing in between her two day jobs as an educational consultant and university lecturer and lives with her family and three dogs on the Kent coast.

Book preview

1

‘You’re leaving a trail of confetti wherever you walk, which is kind of ironic when you think about it, isn’t it?’ Esther looked up at the sound of her ex-fiancé’s voice. Bumping into Lucas at work was an occupational hazard, but she could have done without it happening quite this early in her shift. It never set her up for a good day.

‘It’s blossom, not confetti.’ Esther stated the obvious, looking down at the pink petals that had stuck to her shoes on the walk in to work. She could have made some comment about the reason why there’d never been any confetti for them, but the last thing she wanted was to give Lucas a chance to tell her again what a mistake she’d made ending their relationship.

‘We’ve just had a resus call,’ Aidan, one of her colleagues in A&E, called across to Esther. She turned away from Lucas to face him, as he briefed her on the details. ‘An eighty-four-year-old female has fallen down the steps to the beach at Port Tremellien. She’s got a nasty break of the wrist and a suspected fractured skull. ETA approximately fifteen minutes.’

‘You’ll be needing me then.’ Lucas paused, until she looked back at him. ‘If it turns out to be an open fracture.’

‘I’m sure someone will give the surgical team a call later.’ She took a step towards Aidan, but Lucas reached out and caught hold of her arm.

‘I’m still hoping that you’ll call me one of these days.’

‘That’s never going to happen.’ Esther wrenched her arm free and headed in the opposite direction without looking back. His attempts at manipulation made her blood run cold, and yet she’d let it happen for so long. All he’d had to do back then was feed her a line, or touch her hand, and she’d be under his spell again, believing every story he spun her. But now even the thought of him touching her made her flesh crawl. Esther had spent seven years with the man who was now calling after her, and he’d taken every opportunity he could to cheat on her. The full extent of his betrayal hadn’t become clear until after they’d split, but she’d known enough to be certain she was making the right decision. Calling off their wedding had been painful, but more than six months had passed, and Esther was a completely different person, who could see her ex-fiancé for exactly what he was. There was no point dwelling on all those wasted years, she just wanted to move on, but Lucas didn’t seem willing to let her.

‘Well, that told him!’ Aidan whispered conspiratorially as he took hold of Esther’s arm. Her friendships with the other nurses in the department had developed quickly, but she was closest to Aidan. He was the type of person it was impossible not to become close to. ‘Lucas is such a knob.’

‘That’s one word for him. Has he gone?’ She didn’t want to turn around and give Lucas the satisfaction of thinking she’d given him a second thought, because in his mind that would turn into her wanting him back. She definitely didn’t, but he’d never let reality get in the way of feeding his ego. He’d been such a good actor for so long and the hardest part to come to terms with was that the person she’d been in love with for all those years didn’t even exist.

‘Yeah, he’s slithered away, back to whatever rock he usually lives under.’ Aidan grinned and Esther found herself laughing. Moving to Cornwall had originally been about starting her married life in a perfect place to bring up children, but despite all those plans falling apart she was still incredibly glad she’d moved to Port Kara. The team at St Piran’s A&E already felt like family, and the fact that her best friend, Danni, worked as a doctor in the same department meant there was nowhere she’d rather be. If the prospect of Lucas turning up, whenever they needed a trauma surgeon, was the only downside, she could learn to live with it.

‘How are you feeling Joan?’ Esther leant closer to the bedside of the woman who the paramedics had bought in an hour before. Thankfully the break in her wrist hadn’t been as bad as first expected and the hope was that she wouldn’t need surgery. As a patient in her mid-eighties, with a pre-existing heart condition, the prospect of undergoing an operation had clearly been scary.

‘All the better for having a lovely nurse like you taking care of me.’ Joan sniffed, dabbing at her eyes with the tissue Esther had given her. ‘I’m a silly old fool for getting so upset at my age. I’ve had a good innings after all.’

‘Anyone going through what you have this morning would need a good cry, there’s nothing silly about it.’ Esther gave Joan’s good arm a gentle squeeze. ‘And if you’re up and out walking your dog before breakfast, it sounds like you’ve got more life in you than most people my age. You need a bit of looking after for a while, that’s all. We’ll soon have you back dancing.’

‘Now that I’ve had some pain medicine, it feels like it might actually be possible, but I still don’t think I’ll be back for a while. Although I’m not sure if the lady who set up our seniors’ dance class in January will accept any excuses. She volunteers here too, and she keeps trying to persuade me to give belly dancing a go.’ Joan laughed, the deep lines at the corners of her eyes suggesting it was a regular occurrence. ‘At my age, can you imagine!’

‘I’ve got a feeling you’d be brilliant. It’s not Gwen who runs your classes by any chance, is it?’

‘Yes, that’s her. I bet everyone in the hospital knows her, she’s just one of those people.’

‘She certainly is.’ Esther smiled. Just the thought of Gwen was enough to cheer her up. A retired midwife, Gwen now ran the hospital shop as a volunteer and was also the unofficial agony aunt of St Piran’s. She was a force of nature, who seemed to have a solution to every issue and wasn’t frightened of speaking her mind, whatever the subject. She’d quickly become the lynchpin of the newly built hospital, and both Esther and Danni had already benefitted from her sage advice. Gwen had encouraged lots of the patients to join her dance classes and other groups, once they were discharged from hospital. No one would ever end up lonely if she had anything to do with it.

‘Well, you’re looking much brighter than when you first arrived.’ Danni came into the cubicle and moved to the opposite side of Joan’s bed. ‘I’m sure Esther has been taking brilliant care of you.’

‘She has, you all have.’ Joan’s head was wrapped in bandage, but it hadn’t stopped the blood soaking through, and she wouldn’t have looked out of place at a Halloween party. But this was no make-believe fancy dress, and Danni almost certainly had the results that would determine just how serious the patient’s injuries were, and whether going back to those dance classes was really a possibility.

‘We wish all our patients were like you, don’t we?’ Danni turned towards Esther, who nodded.

‘Absolutely. I keep popping back in just for a chat.’

‘I’d be happy to stay in hospital, if I could have my bed in here, with you two looking after me. But I’ll be put up on a ward full of other oldies, and most of them will probably be asleep half the time.’ Joan sighed. ‘It’s nice to have the company of young folk sometimes.’

‘Hopefully you won’t have to stay in too long.’ Danni’s tone was gentle. ‘I’ve got the results of your scan and you have fractured your skull, but it’s a linear break which means there’s no movement in the bone, and there’s no sign of bleeding or other complications. We’ll want to keep you in under observation for a while, and you’ll need some stitches in your scalp, as well as the treatment for your wrist, but the orthopaedic team are still discussing whether a cast or a splint would be best for you. Either way, you should be able to go home soon, possibly even later today.’

‘That’s good then.’ The older woman attempted another smile, but her mouth wouldn’t seem to make the right shape and she was dabbing at her eyes again.

‘Don’t get upset, Joan, it’s going to be okay.’ Esther gently stroked her good hand and tried not to give in to her own emotions. Sometimes it was really hard not to when patients got upset, and Joan reminded her so much of her maternal grandmother, Ruby. They had the same twinkle in their eyes; at least, Ruby used to have it, but ill health had dulled her spark these past few years. Esther didn’t want the light to go out of Joan’s eyes too and, whatever was troubling her, there had to be a way to help. ‘Are you sure there’s no one we can call for you?’

‘That’s why I’m getting myself all upset. It’s stupid, and my son, Steve, would be here like a shot if you called him, but he’ll blame the dog. He was always saying I was going to end up tripping over Monty, and now I have. Steve wants me to get rid of him, he thinks I’d be safer in a flat with a warden, but the ones near me won’t let you take pets. I don’t want to lose Monty, he’s kept me going since Gordon died. My neighbour came and took him when I phoned to tell her the ambulance was on its way, but she’s got cats who hate him, so he can’t stay there long.’

‘No one can make you give up Monty, but I’m sure Steve’s only worried about you.’ Esther could picture all too clearly the day her grandmother had gone into residential care, as a result of her dementia progressing, and had been forced to leave her dog with Esther’s mother, Caroline. Ruby had sobbed, more upset about letting go of Freddie, her chihuahua, than the progression of her illness, but it had been impossible to continue caring for her at home. Caroline still took Freddie in to visit, but if Esther could do anything to stop Joan being separated from Monty she would. And she knew her mother would want to help too. ‘My mum has taken early retirement and she’s doing some volunteering to help people who are struggling to get out and about. I’m sure she’d be more than happy to take Monty for a walk with Freddie. It might help reassure Steve that you’ve got someone you can ask, especially when it’s wet and slippery, like it was this morning. I’ll give you Mum’s number and you can call her once you go home, but if you need a place for Monty to stay for now, I’m sure we can help with that too.’

‘They used to call nurses angels when I was younger, and I think we should go back to it.’ Joan was dabbing her eyes again, but this time she was smiling through the tears. ‘If I’ve got a plan, I think Steve will be okay about it.’

‘Brilliant. I’ll phone Mum and sort it all out, and then I can give Steve a call for you too.’

‘You’ve got no idea how much that means to me.’ Joan closed her eyes for a moment, and Esther exchanged a look with Danni, certain they both understood far more than their patient would ever realise. Working in A&E, they had to face up to loss every day, but they’d both had to confront it on a personal basis too, one way or another. What got them through was that they’d always had each other. Everyone needed someone on their side. And if anyone could help Joan get through this and persuade Steve that keeping Monty was the right thing for her, it would be Caroline.

Danni was yawning as she came down the corridor just after two o’clock, and Esther couldn’t help following suit. It had felt like a very long shift already. The nursing day shifts started at 7 a.m., with Danni starting forty-five minutes later. They both worked a roster of earlies, lates, and nights, over a four-week period, and they tried to mirror each other’s shifts whenever possible. Living together, it meant they could avoid disturbing one another’s sleep, but the main reason was because it was always more fun working with Danni than with anyone else. Even the really tough bits, like losing patients, were somehow less painful with Danni by her side. Despite all that, Esther was starting to worry that living with Danni was impacting her best friend’s new relationship, and the last thing she wanted was to get in the way. But for now, her biggest concern was staying on the ball until the end of the shift.

‘You can’t start yawning like that yet, because it’s making me yawn too. I’ve still got over an hour to go, and you’ve got even longer.’

‘I know, but I always seem to struggle for the first couple of shifts after coming off nights. One of the paramedics warned me, when I started my first hospital job, that forty was the cut-off point for being able to cope with shifts. I think I’m getting there early!’ Danni rolled her eyes. ‘Are you okay? I couldn’t help thinking how much Joan reminded me of your Nanny Ruby, and I kept wondering if you were thinking it too.’

‘I thought it as soon as I saw her.’ Esther breathed out, refusing to let herself wallow for too long in the sadness that always came when she thought about her grandmother. Ruby had been like a second mum to Esther when she was young, picking her up from school and taking care of her when her parents were working. As the only child to an only child, Esther had been doted on by Ruby, especially after she’d lost her husband, Derek, when Esther was still at primary school. She had a close bond with her father’s parents, but the relationship with Nanny Ruby had been even closer. Sometimes it was hard to believe that the woman she visited now really was the same person.

When Esther’s parents had decided to move to Cornwall too, a big part of the reason had been about finding better quality care for Ruby, and when they’d seen St Bede’s, overlooking the far end of the bay in Port Tremellien, it had made it feel as though Ruby could experience Cornwall too, instead of being shut away. It had been a relief for the whole family to find such a beautiful nursing home, with a sea-view room, and Lindsay, the events coordinator at St Bede’s, organised regular activities for residents. Best of all, they encouraged family members to bring in pets and Freddie had soon become the unofficial mascot of the nursing home. Ruby was as happy there as she could be anywhere, and despite Esther knowing her mother still felt guilty that she couldn’t keep her grandmother at home, it was the best of a bad situation. Danni understood how tough it was, and she’d known Ruby before the dementia had robbed them all of so much. It was why Esther never needed to explain, and why her best friend had recognised the connection she felt to their patient.

‘I just went to see Joan in the CDU, to tell her that Mum’s been to collect Monty and that he’s getting on with Freddie like a house on fire.’ Esther had known she couldn’t finish her shift without looking in on Joan again. ‘Her son, Steve, was in there and he seemed really pleased she’s getting the support she needs. I don’t think he’ll put any pressure on her to move, as long as he’s confident that she’s safe. I wanted to tell him that I know how hard it is trying to do the right thing, when you’re working full time, but I didn’t want to say anything in front of Joan.’

‘I’m sure they’re both really grateful to you. Gwen’s been down to see Joan as well, and she’s already organised a roster of people from the dance class to pop in and visit her once she’s home. I just wish I had half Gwen’s energy.’ Danni put her hand over her mouth and yawned again. ‘Thank goodness Charlie’s volunteered to cook tonight. That reminds me, he wants to know if you’re okay with linguine?’

‘He doesn’t need to cook dinner for me every time too. I was thinking I might pop in and see Mum and Dad, to give you two a bit more time on your own without the third wheel always hanging around.’

‘No way! It’s your house too, and we agreed on that when you moved in. My name might be on the mortgage, but this is only going to work if you treat the cottage like it’s your home. And you know Charlie, he loves everyone, but he especially loves you, and he’d be horrified if he thought you were staying out for our benefit.’

‘It was lovely of you to ask me to move in, but things were different then. It was early days with Charlie and you weren’t sure how it was going to go.’ Esther smiled. The idea that Danni had ever been unsure whether things might work out between her and Charlie seemed ridiculous. Right from the start, it was clear they were perfect for each other. Seeing her friend with someone who made her as happy as Charlie did was wonderful, especially after what Lucas had put her through too. ‘But now we know how brilliant Charlie really is, and I’m pretty certain you’d have moved in together already, if I hadn’t put a spanner in the works by splitting up with Lucas. It just makes me feel guilty that you’re putting your life on hold because of me.’

‘How on earth can you feel guilty when I’m the reason you split up with Lucas in the first place? I’m incredibly lucky you’re still willing to be my friend after what I did.’

‘No. I’m the lucky one.’ Esther might have been almost ten inches shorter than Danni, but she was going to pull herself up to her full five feet one anyway. ‘You’re the reason I saw sense about Lucas, and I owe you an even bigger debt for that than for letting me move in. I just think it might be time for me to suggest a house swap with Charlie… but only if the idea of him moving in appeals to you as much as I think it might.’

‘You want to go and live on Richard’s farm?’ Danni widened her eyes, as Esther nodded. The cottages on Trengothern Farm were usually rented out as holiday lets but Richard was Charlie’s father and the two men had only been reunited the previous year, after Charlie had come looking for his birth parents. Charlie’s mother, Connie, and Richard had been apart for almost forty years too, and it had seemed impossible that Charlie’s arrival might heal four decades of hurt, but it had.

‘I’d have my own little place for the first time in my life. It’s kind of exciting.’

‘I don’t want to feel like we’re pushing you out and a big part of me wants you to stay forever, even if me and Charlie do end up getting married and having kids. In fact, it might even be a pre-requisite having Auntie Essie around all the time.’ Danni laughed.

‘Does Charlie know you’re at the stage where you’ve picked your kids’ names out already?’

‘Oh God, I’m turning into one of those people, aren’t I?’ The expression on Danni’s face made Esther laugh.

‘You are, but it’s okay, because I think it’s a safe bet he has too, he absolutely adores you. And, if I promise to come back and help with babysitting when the time comes, am I allowed to suggest the possibility of a house swap with Charlie?’ Butterflies were looping in Esther’s stomach at the thought of it, but the excitement was definitely outweighing the nerves. This was her chance to be independent for once in her life. No parents, no flatmates, and definitely no overbearing fiancés.

‘Okay and I promise we’ll name our first-born Esther.’

‘Even if it’s a boy?’

‘Especially if it’s a boy!’ Danni gave Esther a hug and then stepped back to look at her. ‘I love you, you do know that, don’t you?’

‘What’s not to love?’ Esther grinned. ‘I love you too, now let’s get this shift finished, because we’ve got linguine for dinner and Charlie to ambush. It’s going to be a big night!’

2

Caroline opened her handbag and squirted three sprays of rescue remedy onto her tongue. Some days the anxiety was worse than others, but on days like today it could feel almost crippling. She’d never been like this before the menopause hit and sometimes she hardly recognised herself. The friends who’d been through it all before, had told Caroline enough horror stories for her to be certain she knew what was coming. She’d expected leaks when she coughed, hot flushes at the most embarrassing times, and stray chin hairs that even a hedge trimmer might struggle to cut. What she hadn’t expected was the fear. The absolute terror that at any moment something terrible could happen. It was like she was on high alert all the time, and if the night sweats didn’t keep her awake, the intrusive thoughts would do the job instead. She got about as much sleep now as she had when Esther was a newborn.

The ‘miracle’ patch that was stuck to her bum cheek didn’t seem to be doing much to help with the anxiety, despite the adhesive being made of something she could only get off with nail polish remover. It was a good job no one looked at her bum any more, but the remnants of adhesive were the least of her worries. Caroline had accidentally caught sight of it in the bedroom mirror, and no one wanted to look at something that resembled a paper bag filled with porridge. Not even her. She tried to make the effort to look her best, having her thick blonde hair cut into a jaw-length bob that the hairdresser had insisted flattered her bone structure. And she had nails done in bright colours to cheer herself up, by young women who seemed to shine as brightly as the shades of polish they applied. But that was the trouble, the joie de vivre that came from the inside was what really mattered on the outside. And Caroline had forgotten where she’d left hers.

Coming to see her mother at St Bede’s always filled her with apprehension, because she knew that a day would come – sooner or later – when Ruby would no longer recognise her. Every time she visited she held her breath, waiting to discover whether today would be the day that her mother got even further out of reach. Maybe she’d expected too much from the move to Cornwall, but it had felt like a new start for all of them. Esther and Lucas had been planning their wedding, and Caroline had been convinced that grandchildren would soon be on the cards. But that dream had died with the breakdown of their relationship, and somehow that made the passing of time even harder to bear. If she’d been a grandmother, she’d have had a label, and a role in society that everyone recognised. She’d intended to be hands on, too, helping out so that Esther could go back to work, and the two of them had talked it all through. It was part of the reason why she’d taken early retirement, and now she just felt cut adrift. She wasn’t contributing by working, and she wasn’t providing childcare for her daughter either. She wasn’t doing anything useful at all.

When Caroline’s father had died, before he’d even reached retirement age, it had been a wake-up call. Her husband, Patrick, had said he didn’t want that happening to them, and they’d made a plan then and there to work their backsides off so that they could retire by the time they were sixty. An offer of redundancy had landed in Caroline’s lap at the age of fifty-eight, and had brought her planned retirement even further forward. It had seemed like perfect timing. Unlike Caroline, Patrick’s job had never been tied to a specific location, which had made the move to Cornwall possible immediately. Finding a nursing home that could offer Ruby more than the last one had proven far easier than expected too. In the end, the only difficult part had been deciding which one to go for. Caroline had been so happy and filled with hope when all the plans had slotted into place, including the sale of their old house to a cash buyer. All of which made it really hard to admit to anyone – even herself – just how miserable she sometimes felt.

She’d started missing work almost straight away, with nothing to fill the void. She didn’t know anyone in Cornwall, apart from Esther and Danni, and the casual easy meetups she had with friends back in London had disappeared. That was when Caroline had started volunteering, in the hope of meeting people and to stop herself going stir crazy. One role was with Helping Hands, a charity providing support to the elderly and vulnerable in the community. Sometimes she did a bit of housework or gardening, and other times she might drive someone to a hospital appointment. It was nice to chat to new people, but almost all of them were from Ruby’s generation, so it wasn’t great for meeting new friends to get out and about with.

Patrick had still been working when they’d first moved down. He was three years older, and already past their agreed retirement age, but he had a well-paid role as a business improvement consultant, and he’d had a few lucrative contracts to finish off. Patrick’s job had always involved being away a lot and, when he’d finally retired at the end of April, Caroline had held on to the hope that things would change. She’d thought they might actually start doing all the things they’d put off until ‘one day’, but so far all her husband seemed to want to do was DIY or lie on the sofa watching TV. He’d worked incredibly hard for a long time, so she knew she ought to cut him some slack. The trouble was, she’d been lonely ever since the move, and she felt as though the day she’d been waiting for half her life had finally come. Only it was turning out to be a big disappointment.

‘Hi Caroline.’ Simon, the receptionist, looked up from his computer and smiled, as she entered the foyer of her mother’s nursing home. ‘It’s getting so we can set our watch by you. Your mum’s so lucky to have such regular visits; some of our residents don’t see family from one month to the next.’

‘It must be hard for people who don’t live nearby, especially if they’re working full time.’ Caroline returned his smile, but the effort made her head ache. Those people probably had other things to fill their days, tough juggling acts which meant that visiting elderly relatives wasn’t possible as often as they’d like. Not Caroline. If she didn’t have the visits to St Bede’s to schedule her days around, she’d have felt even more rootless. She hated herself for not being more grateful that she didn’t have to work until she dropped, like her poor dad, but the harder she tried to count her blessings, the more difficult it seemed to be.

‘There are some that live quite a distance away, but it’s not always the case.’ Simon pulled a face. ‘Not everyone can cope with seeing the changes, I guess. It’s a hard thing to go through, I know that from when my dad was in here.’

‘It’s nice having staff who understand.’ Caroline tapped her details into the tablet at the front of Simon’s desk, cradling Freddie in her other arm. ‘The real question is, when do I get my free coffee for building up the highest number of loyalty points, as your most frequent visitor?’

‘I’ll make you a coffee any time you like.’ Simon smiled again and Caroline hoisted the heavy bag she was carrying back on to her shoulder, adjusting Freddie’s position on her other side. She’d brought her mother a stack of magazines, ones she’d already worked her way through. There were articles on everything from sex tips for the midlife woman, to how to write a bestselling novel. She’d even started one of those, after reading the article, and had signed up for a creative writing class at the arts centre in Port Kara. But when they’d told her that part of the purpose of the group was to critique one another’s work, she’d chickened out of going to the next session, fearing what she’d written would be every bit as boring as she felt these days.

As for the sex tips, she hadn’t even bothered to read that article. Patrick seemed to be tired all the time, and she wondered if perhaps there was something he wasn’t telling her. Like most long-term relationships, things in the bedroom had become more infrequent over the years, but the weekends had always been a time when they’d reconnected. Now even that had stopped. If Patrick had a problem and was embarrassed to tell her, she’d feel sad that he couldn’t share something like that with his wife of more than thirty-five years.

After the revelations about Lucas cheating on Esther had emerged, she’d even briefly wondered if maybe there was someone else. But she couldn’t really believe that. The articles in her magazines frequently listed the tell-tale signs that your partner was cheating, and Patrick wasn’t displaying any of those. He wasn’t suddenly making more of an effort with his appearance, or mentioning another woman’s name more often than he should. He certainly wasn’t trying anything new in the bedroom department – unless that included spraying lavender oil on his pillow, and sleeping with an eye mask and a white noise machine. For someone who claimed to have trouble sleeping, he certainly seemed to spend a lot of time resting his eyes during the day. Whatever the reason behind the end of their sex life, it felt like yet another symptom of the gulf that seemed to be opening up between them, and her mother wasn’t the only one who was drifting further away every day.

‘I might take you up on that coffee later. Thanks, Simon.’ Turning towards the coded door to the corridor that led to her mother’s room, Caroline let go of another long breath and offered up a silent prayer that today wouldn’t turn out to be the day her mother disappeared altogether.

‘I can’t remember if