From Ashe Vol. 9: From Ashe, #9

By Joshua Piedra

With a new chapter opened up to Ashe, she continues to deliberate on how to progress it. Frustration begins to set in and it causes Ashe to question her abilities as a writer.

 

Ashe isn't the only one suffering from frustration as Saraya cannot understand why she cannot improve as an illustrator. This leads her down a path with new challenges for both her and Kaden.

 

Through it all, it's up to Ashe to become a problem-solver yet again; however, when everyone's problems begin to fall on her shoulders, it's leaving her little time to focus on her own.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Joshua Piedra
• Release date: Jan 28, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224794560

Book preview

Preface

Thank you for picking up the ninth volume of From Ashe!

With the new story arc underway, it’s time to start building up what is to come as well as flesh out some of the characters a bit more. While Saraya has been established, there’s still some things that I could do to serve as a culimation of everything she has experienced so far and that’s what I did with her here. Also, that culmination opened the door to expand on Kaden’s past a bit, too, giving him some much-needed development.

I also said in the last volume that I had front-loaded a lot of the new cast but there would be a straggler here and there. This volume does introduce one new character that will play a role in Ashe’s life going forward.

Although they are not new, since there was only one new character, I filled that void by giving two recently-added characters, Kirk, and Cora’s V-Tuber avatar, Nekohime, some artwork which you will find in this volume!

As always, I hope that you enjoy the story and I will see you on the other side!

Page 57

Rebuild

The phone shook in Ashe’s hand as it quivered from the devastating news that Sebastian had just delivered to her. While she knew that her book wasn’t in perfect form yet, she had hoped it would have been good enough to pass the selection so that she and Sebastian could work on fine-tuning it. After how hard she tried, all of the tight deadlines she met, and the overall effort from even before she signed with Meteora Press, she believed that she had a good shot.

When Sebastian told her she had been rejected, it was as if an arrow had pierced her heart and stunned her into silence. The long pause became quite evident as Sebastian verbally poked her which snapped her out of her trance.

Ashe? Are you still there?

Oh, um, yeah. Sorry. It’s just that I was hoping for some better news. I’m just disappointed in myself. I honestly thought after all of that work, I would have made it.

If I’m being honest with you, Ashe, I knew that the chances of you getting accepted were not going to be high. The fact is, we rushed through it because you decided to shoot for the submission deadline. In hindsight, I probably shouldn’t have told you about it so that we could aim for the one this summer. That would have taken the pressure off and we could have groomed the story until it was perfect. So, that is completely my fault and I apologize deeply for that. On the other hand, telling you gave you an extra opportunity. I didn’t want to ignore it, have you find out about it later, and get upset because you felt as if you didn’t get as many chances as possible.

Yeah. I can understand your point. Three opportunities are better than two.

They sure are. Plus, I wouldn’t get too discouraged. We did a lot of the leg work already and now, we have a few months to get it the rest of the way there. While the pressure isn’t completely gone, there’s a whole lot less of it now. We can hit this thing hard and make sure it gets accepted the next time around!

That’s true. We put a lot of effort in already. So, let’s do that. Let’s aim to get accepted in August!

That’s the spirit! I think that there is no time like the present to get started! Let’s say we set up a meeting tomorrow to review things, discuss the committee’s feedback, and figure out where we can go from there.

Yeah. Tomorrow works for me.

Great! Let’s aim for noon! We can go to the cafe again by the municipal auditorium and have lunch together. Again, it’ll be my treat so don’t worry about any of that.

Sounds like a plan. I’ll see you at Noon.

Take care, Ashe. Have a great rest of your night.

Sebastian hung up and she let out a huge sigh of disappointment. While Sebastian did try to perk her up, the sting was still there. She couldn’t help but think back to when she first started. That all-too-familiar sensation of being made to feel insignificant reared its ugly head once again. However, she never waivered and kept her nose to the grindstone and eventually won them over; however, Sebastian was right all along. They were just amateur readers who knew nothing about the way true publishing worked so they couldn’t tell her the one thing she felt inside all along… that she wasn’t as good of a writer as she thought she was.

As Ashe stood there, Renji couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. Since he heard every word of the conversation, there was no need to ask what happened. The mere fact that Ashe’s bottom lip began to quiver was all that he needed to see to know what to do. He stepped in and embraced her in a hug. She buried her face into his shoulder as all of her emotions came pouring out. He rubbed the back of her head to try and comfort her but it was obvious that this news was devastating.

I’m sorry, Ashe. I know how hard you tried but it’s not over, you know that, right?

Y-Yeah…

I know it hurts but you’ll get through this. You always do. Just take a deep breath and relax. Everything is going to be okay.

Ashe did just that. She pulled away and Renji was kind enough to wipe the tears from her eyes. She meekly thanked him but felt a bit embarrassed about it. Despite the emotions on display, Renji thought it was rather cute of her to look that way. He couldn’t help himself and gave her a light kiss on the forehead.

Do you want me to make you something to eat or drink?

I could go for some hot tea. Do we have any matcha left?

Yeah. I think there’s some in the cabinet. I’ll go make us a cup. I could go for some myself.

Renji scurried to the kitchen and prepared the tea for them. Afterward, he sat on the couch and invited Ashe to join him. She took a seat next to him and held the mug in her hands for a moment, staring at the steam that slowly wafted upward. She closed her eyes and let out a tiny sigh before taking a sip.

This is good, Renji. I’ve always liked matcha tea but for some reason, it always tastes the best whenever you make it.

It’s just a tea bag and some hot water. It’s not like I put any magic powder in it or anything.

I know but it tastes better just because you made it.

They ended up sitting there in silence for about an hour. Ashe didn’t feel much like talking and Renji sensed it. He felt that the best thing he could do was sit there and be with her. He was about to suggest that it might be a good idea to turn in early; however, as soon as he thought that, Ashe leaned over and rested her head on his shoulder. She took in everything from the warmth of his body, the light thumping of his heartbeat, and his light and pleasant scent. Soon, she closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off. 

Heh… I guess we had the same idea. I’ll let her be for a while.

He continued to sit there for another hour while Ashe peacefully slept on his shoulder. Every so often, he would turn his gaze downward and take in just how cute she looked. He found it hard to imagine that someone that cute and peaceful-looking could be under so much stress every day. However, a little twinge reminded him that all good things must eventually come to an end. He gave Ashe a slight nudge which brought her back to the world of the conscious.

Hey, sleepy. Maybe you should go to bed?

Oh, yeah. I kind of zonked out, didn’t I? Sorry. I didn’t mean to use you as a pillow.

It’s fine. Truth be told, I woke you because the tea’s working and I need to use the bathroom.

Now that you mention it, so do I.

Ladies first.

Yeah right. You just want to go second so you can smell my scent while you go, you pervert.

Ashe giggled while Renji let out a heavy sigh. At least he was grateful that she had returned to her old self, even if her teasing remained as crude as ever. Despite that, he got up and used the bathroom first. After he got out, he noticed that Ashe was standing there by the door waiting for her turn.

I hope you enjoyed the sound of me peeing, pervert.

It was majestic. Like a tiny waterfall echoing in the forest.

I should have known better…

Renji walked away in defeat as Ashe giggled.

Despite getting cheered up, that night ended up being a rough one for her. She tossed and turned, waking up several times throughout. She just couldn’t find a comfortable position and any time she woke up, her mind would reflect on everything that had happened, her entire journey, and how she failed already at the professional level. Those racing thoughts made it difficult for her to relax.

The next morning, Ashe was understandably fatigued. She shambled her way out of the bathroom to the kitchen where Renji was in his usual spot in front of the stove. Figuring that she could use some cheering up, he made her a personalized breakfast. Renji had made omurice, a Japanese staple dish that consisted of rice mixed with meat, in this case, chicken, vegetables, and a demi-glace sauce that was molded almost into a half-football shape. On top, there was a not-fully-cooked omelet which he sliced open down the center. The omelet unfolded over the rice, the still slightly runny eggs glistened in lighting. 

While there are simpler versions where the rice mixture is stuffed inside the omelet and then topped with ketchup, typically for children, Renji had made an adult version for Ashe that is usually found in restaurants across Japan.

Even though he had gone through the effort, Ashe still looked depressed as she picked away at her breakfast. He immediately took notice of her distress and stood next to her, placing his arm around her shoulder.

I’m sorry, Ashe. I know how much getting accepted meant to you but things are going to be fine next time. Don’t stress over it too much. Just think about how far you’ve come and your potential to go even further. Remember, success is just a series of failures until you get it right but, I wouldn’t call any of this a failure. It’s more of a learning experience and you must have learned something from it, right?

Yeah. I learned that I was a fool for thinking that I was a good writer. Having to change my style made me feel like I wasn’t putting myself on paper anymore. Those words were not Ashe Sawyer’s words and it made me realize that Ashe Sawyer’s words are not good enough for the publishing world.

So, what you’re saying is that getting rejected isn’t the issue. You realized that if those words that weren’t your own didn’t work, then there was no way your actual words would have worked either.

Ashe nodded her head in agreement as she felt tears welling up in her eyes once again. Renji embraced her in a side hug to which Ashe responded by burying her face into his chest. All Renji could do was stroke her hair and embrace her until she got her emotions out of her system. A few moments later, Ashe pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes.

Sorry.

Don’t be. It’s never good to hold your emotions in like that. It’s always best to get them out.

Yeah, I know. It’s just that part of me wonders if I can do this, you know? Can I throw away who I truly am for the sake of getting published?

Ashe. Changing up the dialogue and the narrative doesn’t invalidate who you are as a person or as a writer. There are many ways to tell the same story and since you’re writing a fantasy series, you’re just being introduced to a different way to tell that story. Think about it for a minute. Did they change any of your story plots or ideas?

No…

So, the story and ideas are still yours. It’s still you that you’re putting down on paper. I just see it as them trying to help you tell your story in a better way. To me, that’s not destroying who you are but building a better you. You didn’t get accepted because that better version of you just isn’t there yet but I know it will be. I’ve seen you struggle time and time again and you’ve always found a way to overcome it. This is just another struggle so do what you always do. Get fired up and crush it!

Ashe stood up and embraced Renji in a tight hug. Deep down, she knew that he was right. She always blamed herself for every little setback before she got fired up and overcame them. It was a vicious cycle that she could never seem to break. There was no telling if she would break it this time, either; however, for now, she knew that she needed to face this challenge, and that allowed her to go into this meeting with Sebastian with a little extra confidence

***

As Noon drew closer, the effects of Renji’s morning pep talk seemed to wear off. Her nerves began to fire on all cylinders as she wondered what the committee had to say about her submission. Coupled with the fatigue from not getting a good night’s rest, Ashe began to have second thoughts about everything. She began to pace back and forth in front of the door and when Renji heard her footsteps, he poked his head out from his room.

Is something wrong, Ashe?

Yeah. I’m just conflicted again. I know you said to face my problems head-on but… now that the time has come.

Want me to go with you? I’d be more than happy to drive you over there.

No. I need to stop worrying and face this alone. I guess I’m just scared about what he’s going to tell me. I still have a lot of doubts in my mind about myself as a writer. I understand everything you said about building a new and better me but what if the new and better me just isn’t good enough?

"Do you honestly think that Sebastian would continue to put hard work and effort into molding you into a better writer if he thought that you weren’t going to amount to anything?’

No… I guess not.

Well, there you go. Go meet with him before you end up being late. Just hear what he has to say and take it from there. Remember, you can only solve a problem one step at a time. So, go find out what the next step is, then solve it!

Yeah. You’re right. Thanks, Renji.

Mmm.

For some reason, that little Mmm made her smile. She didn’t know if he did that intentionally or not but it helped ease some of her tension. Just one little noise made her realize just how much Renji went through, how he changed, and how he became a better version of himself. She knew that if he could do it, then so could she. She opened the front door and stepped through to begin the trek over to the cafe.

The traffic was a bit on the heavy side in Downtown Stockbridge. She cursed at herself for leaving a few minutes late as she still had a little ways to go and it was already Noon. The added stress of being late for her meeting didn’t help matters any but all she could do was press on. In the end, she ended up being fifteen minutes late; however, she must have drawn the long straw because Sebastian hadn’t arrived yet. It turned out that he was also late for the very same reason.

Wow! So many people are out and about today! I’m sorry I’m late, Ashe, but that traffic was just brutal.

Tell me about it. I’m actually late myself. I was so worried about not making it here on time. I guess it’s a relief that we both had the same problem, haha.

Well, we’re here now. Let’s order some food and get settled in. I don’t have a time limit for this meeting so feel free to take your time, ask me any questions you’d like, and we can go over everything in as much detail as you want.

The waitress came over and took their orders. Sebastian had made a few suggestions in their previous meeting but Ashe decided to pick out her meal this time around. She opted to go for a bacon cheeseburger with a side of french fries and a Caesar Salad to give the illusion that she was making a healthy choice. Sebastian went right for the bacon cheddar potato soup again. While their food was being prepared, Sebastian brought out a sheet of paper with the committee’s write-up of their decision. He passed a copy of it over to Ashe so that they could go through it together.

Ashe gave the report a quick once over and noticed that there were several remarks about the writing quality, critiques on all of her characters, the setting of the story, the pacing, the direction, and everything else in between. The committee truly tore her story down, dissected the pieces themselves, and analyzed the remaining fragments. They left no part of her book uncovered. 

On the one hand, she was impressed with how much effort they put into their critique but on the other hand, she felt it was a bit excessive. She wanted to take the time and read everything herself but before she could, Sebastian spoke up to get the ball rolling.

Let’s start at the top here. The biggest criticism is one that I believe we’re both aware of and that’s the inconsistency of the writing quality. I’m not going to spend much time dwelling on this because we did submit something that wasn’t fully edited and you didn’t have an abundance of time to redo the entire book with new narrative and dialogue. This is something that we can easily fix heading into the next deadline so, in reality, that criticism is a moot point.

Ashe nodded in agreement and then took notice of the next criticism on the list. She knew that the next one began to target her characters. When she saw that the first one was Silver, she gulped pretty hard because she already knew that he was a character she had created more for the sake of giving Stacatto something to do rather than as someone who would be an integral part of the story. In other words, she knew that he was nothing more than a plot device and she wondered if the committee saw that, too.

"The next item here says that Silver isn’t a convincing villain. As they note, he is hot-headed and arrogant but villains like that are a dime a dozen in a fantasy series. They question whether or not a villain like that can be sustained throughout the story; especially since he seems as if he had been placed on the back burner already.