Fentanyl: A Mother's Journey Through Her Son's Addiction

By Barbara Hanvey

I once asked my only son Spencer why he started smoking pot, and he answered, "To keep me from putting a gun to my head."

Spencer is a tremendous athlete with a bright future just like many of America's sons and daughters. He wants to fit into a world with a culture that is not so forgiving and can make it tough for a young man to survive. He is in a fight for his life.

His mom who walks alongside her son with great love, which sometimes gets in the way, battles against her son's substance abuse with him.

When addiction lands on this mother's doorstep, it brings chaos and utter confusion to her and the whole family. Like many parents with a child facing substance abuse, she is desperate to find him treatment.

When drugs meet mental health issues, it does torment not only him but also all those around him whom he loves. Addiction can expose our loved ones to fentanyl, which is a killer of thousands. If you happen to know someone who comes in contact with it and makes it out alive with a productive life, then they are the exception.

After breaking into a pharmacy three times, he was arrested, which led him to the rehab center called John 3:16 Ministries which made him face his darkest fears. God rescued him from the depths of drug addiction and changed his life through Jesus Christ.

In this story, a family reaches out to God who helps their faith grow stronger and carries them through even the darkest of nights.

In Barbara's writing, you will see the daily struggles of living with an addict.

Her prayer is for the fentanyl crisis to be taken seriously enough to cut off its supply.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jan 17, 2024
• ISBN: 9798889436478

Book preview

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Fentanyl

A Mother's Journey Through Her Son's Addiction

Barbara Hanvey

ISBN 979-8-88943-646-1 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88943-647-8 (digital)

Copyright © 2023 by Barbara Hanvey

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1

The Early Years

Chapter 2

Depression Sets In

Chapter 3

Drugs and Trying to Find Help

Chapter 4

Legal Issues and the Downfall

Chapter 5

Consequences of Actions

Chapter 6

Redemption

Chapter 7

Losing the Battle

Joseph Hanvey's Testimony

About the Author

Acknowledgments

This book is dedicated to all the parents who have been taken into despair seeing their child deteriorate from their dependence on drugs and to anyone who has struggled with addiction and the pain of regret or shame.

It is a story of a mother and son who fought a good fight in an arena where the opponent knows no boundaries and never fights fair, does not follow any rules, and will devour your whole family. It brings chaos into your life and has you living in the shadows to hide all the turmoil it is bringing while tearing you apart.

Through these pages, my prayer is for you to understand your feelings of desperation are something you do not experience all by yourself. You have a common bond with others, and even though you feel like you are losing your mind and yourself, you do not walk alone.

No matter what stories or testimonies you hear, it feels like they can never be as painful and agonizing as yours, and you are correct. Your experience is different than any others; it is yours and yours alone.

This is dedicated to my only son, Spencer Joseph, the love of my life whom I miss terribly and who taught me forgiveness and love that I would have never known without him. I miss you, son, every moment of every day. When I look back on your life, I can only see the joy you brought to others. Even though this book depicts all the times of conflict and pain you suffered, I will choose to remember only the good you brought to the world. This is what the Lord has taught me by having you in my life. I will spend the rest of my time sharing your testimony and doing good in your name because your life made a difference and continues to help many.

Introduction

Fentanyl is killing our loved ones, in my case my twenty-four-year-old son. My goal is to prevent this killer from knocking at your door as it did mine. If drugs have affected you or your family, I feel your pain, and if I have done my job through this book, you will feel mine also.

Fentanyl is the single deadliest drug our nation has ever seen and is causing mass murder.

According to statistics from U.S. Custom and Border Protection, the fiscal year 2021 finished with 11,201 pounds crossing all US borders. The year 2022 finished at 14,770 pounds, and as of 2023 fiscal year to date there have been 22,037 pounds of fentanyl seized at all U.S Borders.

According to Texas Governor Greg Abbott's announcement in May 2021, the Texas Department of Public Safety had seized ninety-five pounds of fentanyl so far that year. This is enough to kill the entire state of New York.

Admittedly as a parent I have made many mistakes, but I have done some things right. I pray you will learn from both. You might see yourself on these pages; you might also have the feelings I have had.

This is a book partly on what not to do even though I tried as hard as I could. After ten years day in and day out living with addiction and coming from a family with addiction hopefully, I can teach you a thing or two. I will start as a family with a normal athletic son then gradually take you along my family's hills and valleys.

In these pages, I will write about my son who was doing great for a moment, and then next you will see him struggling through the pain of having mental health issues that made him depend on drugs to try to get through his days. I will bring you back and forth between one extreme to the next. This is what drugs do to a person and their families. And it will also show how God carried us through.

As the rain poured down on my car, I was desperate to make it to my destination through the dark foggy wet streets on my way back from having dinner with my childhood friend. My phone rang. It was my one and only twenty-three-year-old son, Spencer, who was planning a trip to visit his grandmother and the rest of his cousins and family in my home state of Washington. I was there for an extended period to be with my mother as we live so far apart from each other. It is a three-day drive or a five-hour flight; I prefer the latter.

This visit would be extra special for him because his girlfriend was accompanying him from Arkansas to meet everyone. It would be his twenty-fourth birthday in a couple of days, and that was the day Spencer was set to arrive. It was to be incredibly special as his cousin had planned a nice birthday dinner for him.

As I spoke to him, I focused on his flight schedule and when he would have to head back home from Washington. I needed this information so I could make our plans for the week as our schedule was beginning to fill up quickly because many loved ones wanted to spend time with him.

As we ended the conversation, he said, I love you, and I disconnected the phone before I could say I love you back to him. I contemplated calling him back to say I love you, but I never did. This unfortunately would be our last conversation…

Chapter 1

The Early Years

As I entered the gates of our town's local baseball park, the biggest smile broke out on my face. I breathed in deep the sweet smell of cut grass. It was springtime, and the temperature was in the upper sixties; it was the picture-perfect day.

My son, Spencer, was an exceptionally talented baseball player. He started playing T-ball when he was five. It is a simplified form of baseball where the ball is placed on an adjustable tee atop the plate at a suitable height for the batter to strike. It is a way for children to make friends and learn to be a good sport and respect their coaches.

We often smiled when we thought about his first time hitting the ball and running to third base instead of first. They were all learning together; this was the fun of it.

I have heard from many other parents to keep their children busy. That would keep them out of trouble. So when our town built a state-of-the-art baseball field, it would be where we would spend much of our time as a family. We bonded with the other players' families and made new friends. There would be times when our whole family was involved in some type of activity there.

Spencer's sister would work in the concession stand; this was her first job. Spencer's friends would line up for snacks and drinks, and his sister would serve them and get to know them all. And we were together and that was the most important thing. After all, our daughter was making new friends with the siblings of the boys, friends she also still has today.

Oftentimes Spencer would be on the pitcher's mound, his sister would work in the concession stand, his dad was coaching, and I would help with score keeping. I was so happy that we were all together as a family knowing that we all had common interests in the same setting. It was a place I could be in the moment and job stresses would float away. I was 100 percent present. These were some of the greatest times being a mom, and I knew it.

Some seasons when Spencer's dad was coaching, it would help us get to know many of the boys on various teams. Little did we know how much this great game would be a thing that would shape our son's future both in a good and at times not so good way.

Often other fathers would come up to Spencer and his dad and brag about him in front of their own sons.