Iggy & Oz: The Living Snot: Iggy & Oz, #3

By J.J. Johnson

*** The 2023 Realm Award Winner for Best Middle Grade***

 

What if your snot came to life? 

Iggy Risner is back with another laugh out loud neighborhood adventure. However, this time the stakes have grown. The discovery of a set of strange handkerchiefs is about to turn the neighborhood upside down. Not only did they come from Mr. Chesterson's estate sale, but everyone who blows their nose on them discovers their snot coming to life.

When the snot ball continues to grow and starts covering their entire neighborhood, Iggy and the gang find themselves in a battle they never would have imagined.

Will they keep the community from being overrun by a giant blob of snot? Or will they find themselves losing a battle that could cause every kid to live in terror?

Iggy & Oz: The Living Snot will make your child's imagination soar and make the hair behind their necks stand on end as they read on. Full of twist and turns, this is perfect for fans of Diary of a Wimpy Kid and The Last Kids on Earth.

Order your copy today and get in on the adventure.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lost Ink Press
• Release date: Dec 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223775591

J.J. Johnson

JJ Johnson lives in Edmond Oklahoma with his with and two kids. He can usually be found traveling through time and space fighting dinosaurs 

Book preview

Random Introduction With Lots of Rambling

This story starts one week after my little brother Oz accidentally trapped Mrs. McKenzie’s cat in a storm drain.

I’m sure you know by now, don’t ask. I can’t explain the things Oz does.

All I can say is Whiskers hissed and howled and almost caused Oz to faint. Oz felt bad, he did, but man was Whiskers mad. I didn’t think the scratches on Oz’s arms would heal for weeks. But as I’ve said before, it was an accident.

By the way, my name is Iggy, and this is Whispering Pines. I’m sure you’ve been here before. A few weeks ago you probably joined us as we fought the plastic dinos of doom, then we all went to battle with those thieves in the Soda Pop Wars. But if this is your first time to join us, let me welcome you.

Whispering Pines is like every other gated neighborhood. Luscious green lawns, large two-story houses, big Oak tree, manicured shrubs, and perfect laid out flower beds. All which are carefully maintained for what my father says is a hefty price.

But as I’ve told you before, don’t let it fool you. Strange things happen in Whispering Pines all the time, especially after Mr. Chesterson's estate sale. You remember him. The gang and I are still trying to piece together who he was. I wish I could say we had a lot of time to figure him out, but things keep getting weirder.

The problem is we kids have to solve these mysteries on our own. No matter how bad things get, our parents don’t ever seem to notice. I tried to tell Mom the story I’m going to tell you. But as usual she just tossed me a blank notebook and told me to write it down.

One day the adults in our world will open their eyes, and when they see what us kids see, they won’t know what to do.

Sorry Mom, it’s true!

You see, it doesn’t matter if it’s plastic dinosaurs coming to life, or if some mean kids on the street steal the soda pop that gave us superpowers. Strange things happen, and moms and dads all miss it.

I’m not sure what’s worst. Mom and Dad not knowing the truth, or that big mean hairy gorilla Todd Sterns seeing everything me and the gang see.

You remember Todd, right? He’s our resident neighborhood bully. The master of the upside-down money shake. The captain of the stuff-a-kid-in-a-locker squad. Although let’s be honest. Todd’s not smart. He hasn’t handled himself well in the past with all the strange events. Like the time those plastic dinosaurs chased him, Joel, and David down the street. They screamed like little babies running from those beasts.

Sure, sure. I know it’s not nice to make fun of Todd and his band of goons. Your mom is probably shaking her head right now saying I’m horrible. I promise I’m not. But come on, it’s my arch nemesis, Todd Sterns!

You know what? Your mom is right. You shouldn’t follow my example.

Okay, back to where I was. Oh yeah, this story is the most disgusting story I have ever told. I’m serious! The title alone should tell you enough. It starts the morning Oz and our overly smart friend Aaron woke me up to tell me about Oz’s pet blob of snot!

Sweat creeping down his bangs, Oz whispered in my ear.

Iggy, are you awake.

1

Captain’s Log: 001

"I ggy, Iggy."

The whisper tugged me from my sleep. I rolled over and covered my head. Streams of sunlight broke through the loose thread of the blanket. It was morning, and I knew the voice in my ear. Oz!

Iggy, Iggy, Oz grabbed hold of my blanket and pulled. Hey wake up sleepy head.

I tossed a pillow over my head. Go away, Oz. It’s too early for this.

It’s already eleven in the morning. Someone other than Oz had spoken. I peeked out and saw Aaron standing in my room. A big smile on his face.

Hey Iggy, Aaron said. I got a great knock-knock joke for you.

Ugh, I slid further under the pillow.

Knock, knock, Aaron said.

Get out of my room you two, I said.

Who’s there? Oz asked.

A cow says.

A cow says who.

No, Aaron said. A cow says mooooo!

Oz laughed with a few squeaks added in. Oh, man. Aaron that was your best one yet.

Oz, if you two don’t get out of my room, I’m going to smash you.

Oz laughed. But Iggy, you can’t. You don’t quite have the muscle to put into it.

I pushed myself up and slid off the bed. Want to bet? I balled my hands into a fist and puffed my chest out.

Aaron turned to Oz. If it was Todd Sterns threatening to pound on us I would be scared. Todd’s got the muscle. I saw him hold a kid upside down by his ankles once.

I can pound on you, Oz. And it will hurt as bad as Todd doing it. I imitated the Hulk poster on my wall flexing.

Oz stepped back and looked at me before he and Aaron doubled over and laughed.

What? I asked.

Todd is scary, Iggy, Aaron said. You’re too nice.

Nice, you think I’m nice. I tried to let spit fly out of my mouth like Todd does when he has that mean look on his face. But instead, a bit of drool ran down my lip. I quickly wiped it and glared at them. You don’t think I’m tough like Todd Sterns?

Not really, Iggy, Oz said. Todd is big and mean. He’s supposed to be tough. But you’re better at… Oz tapped his finger on his chin.

What? I’m smarter?

No, Aaron said. Not really.

I got it, Oz said. You can write good love letters.

Love letters? Aaron asked.

I don’t write love letters, I said. That’s ridiculous.

Sure you do Iggy. They’re right here. He opened my desk drawer and pulled out a notebook. My face flushed and burned as I grabbed the notebook and shoved it back into my desk.

"What was