My Best Friend Cancer: An Autobiography

By Ety Priandriani Fuhrmann, Titin Emans, Yudhi Herwibowo and Liliane Ritzi

Vor 23 Jahren verließ ich meine Heimat, auf der Suche nach Liebe und einer Zukunft. Der Weg führte mich in eine fremde Welt, wo ich nicht nur eine der komplexesten Sprachen, Deutsch, erlernen musste, sondern auch fremde Kulturen, Jahreszeiten, Kommunikationsweisen und Mentalitäten verstehen sollte. Diese Reise veränderte mein Leben.

Dann kam die Diagnose: Stadium 4A Lungenkrebs – gnadenlos und aggressiv. Die Ärzte gaben mir nur noch sechs Monate. Aber ich wusste, dass nichts unmöglich ist, wenn man den Glauben und Positivität bewahrt.

Ich lebe nun seit fast sechs Jahren mit meiner Freundin Krebs. Dieses Buch ist nicht nur meine Geschichte über das Überleben; es ist ein Zeugnis für die Kraft und den unerschütterlichen Glauben an das Gute in jeder Prüfung.

Leben ist eine Wahl. Du bist nicht allein. Glaube an dich selbst, und sei sicher, dass es in jeder Herausforderung etwas Gutes gibt.I left my home country 23 years ago in search of love and a future. The journey took me to a foreign world where I not only had to learn one of the most complex languages, German, but also understand foreign cultures, seasons, ways of communicating and mentalities. This journey changed my life.

Then came the diagnosis: stage 4A lung cancer - merciless and aggressive. The doctors gave me only six months to live. But I knew that nothing is impossible if you keep faith and positivity.

I have been living with my friend cancer for almost six years now. This book is not just my story of survival; it is a testament to the strength and unwavering belief in the good in every trial.

Life is a choice. You are not alone. Believe in yourself, and know that there is something good in every challenge.

• Language: English
• Publisher: tredition
• Release date: Nov 13, 2023
• ISBN: 9783907442272

Ety Priandriani Fuhrmann

Ety Priandriani-Fuhrmann ist eine Frau, die in Surabaya, Indonesien, geboren wurde und Mutter von zwei unabhängigen und fröhlichen Kindern ist. Vor 22 Jahren verliess sie Indonesien, um in Europa zu leben. Am 17. Oktober 2017 wurde bei ihr Lungenkrebs im Stadium 4A diagnostiziert, und sie kämpft seitdem unermüdlich dagegen an. Obwohl diese Zeit sehr schwierig und schmerzhaft war, glaubt sie daran, dass jeder Test im Leben Güte und Weisheit in sich trägt. Nachdem Brent, ein guter Freund von ihr, ihre Hand gelesen hatte, sagte er: «Du bist immer voller Liebe für Dich selbst und andere, aber Du solltest darauf achten, dass andere Deine Liebe nicht missbrauchen.» Die Erfahrungen in diesem Buch führten dazu, dass Ety sich das Lebensmotto zu eigen machte, überall dort ein Lächeln zu verbreiten, wo sie hingeht, und Gutes zu tun, ohne etwas im Gegenzug zu erwarten. Sie glaubt, dass sie dadurch Güte auf unerwartete Weise zurückbekommen wird.

Book preview

Acknowledgements

I would like to express my deepest gratitude to:

• My husband Mike Fuhrmann

• My children Milena and Milo Fuhrmann

• The great family of H. Priyo and Hj. Safaah, my sisters and brother

• Mike's parents, sister and grandparents

• To my photographer Titin Emans

• Ustad Aal and the siblings at Percikan Iman

• Dr. Decker and his nursing staff

• My friends, wherever they are around the world

• And all who helped in the creation of this book.

Foreword by the Author

I did not write this book to recommend the treatment I received, but to share my story and give strength to those who may be going through similar struggles. Whether you are currently experiencing a disaster, suffering from an illness, struggling with household problems, or in debt, my hope is that reading this book will ease your burden.

I know it is hard to face some adversities in life, but we must firmly believe that we can always overcome them. Sometimes we may feel inclined to give up and are unsure which way to go. Should we take the long, arduous road with many obstacles or the shortcut? The choice and decision are ultimately in our own hands.

Always be honest with yourself and believe in your abilities. Make the best decisions for yourself and the people who love you. Think positively and avoid asking yourself questions like, Why is this happening to me? Instead, change the question to Can I handle this? Then try to make the situation a part of your life and if possible, make it your best friend. This is always better than giving up and ending it all.

Believe me when I tell you that miracles happen for those who believe. And opportunities are always there for those who are patient and accept their fate wholeheartedly.

Yours

Ety Priandriani-Fuhrmann,

July 2023

Accept hearts. 0

1

When Cancer Came Knocking

My world came crashing down the day an oncologist we will call Dr. B from the University Hospital of Zurich delivered the results of my PET-CT scan and MRI. I was told I was terminally ill with stage four lung cancer and had three months to live without chemotherapy; a maximum of six months with it. My world went dark, and my body shook as I tried to understand what he was saying. Without me even realizing it, tears streamed down my face.

It was just two weeks earlier, on October 7, 2017, that my kids and I visited my best friend Alina in Germany. It was fall vacation and we planned to explore Europa Park together. After we spent the day at the park, I started to feel unwell. My body felt weak, and I kept coughing, which I initially attributed to exhaustion from the day's activities. I tried to rest on a bench and take a sip of water from my bottle, but the cough continued. Even during the 40-minute drive back to Alina's house, it did not stop.

Alina was worried when she saw me so weak, drenched in sweat and gasping for air. My children panicked and hugged me tightly. Knowing that my condition was worsening, Alina's husband, Constantin, drove me to the nearest emergency room. When we arrived, it was already late at night and only one doctor was on duty. I was attended to and given fever medicine, cough suppressants, and antibiotics before being let go back to Alina's house to rest.

It was interesting to see that somehow, despite their age, my children seemed to realize the gravity of the situation and did not pressure me into progressing with our vacation plans. Instead, they played cards with Alina's son while I rested. My daughter called her father Mike to inform him of my condition. Mike was very concerned and insisted on picking us up. However, I managed to convince him to wait a little longer and promised that I would drive back to Switzerland myself the next morning.

I kept waking up in a sweat and my nightgown was soaked. I felt extremely uncomfortable, but I didn't let on in front of the children. I told them the next morning that it was time to go home. I was disappointed that our vacation was going to end that way, but my children assured me that my health was more important. They hugged me, and my son's little fingers wiped away my tears, ''Don't cry, Mom! We love you so much.'' After a quick breakfast and goodbyes to Alina and her family, we made the 3.5-hour drive back to Zurich.

Despite my weak condition, I wanted to drive myself and was sure I would get home okay. When we turned into our street, my husband was already waiting for us in the parking lot of our house.

He held me and made me warm tea before running me a hot bath. I was overwhelmed with gratitude for his love and support. Never would I have thought that this was just the beginning of a long and emotional journey that would change my life forever.

The first diagnosis

I remember the day well - it was a Friday. My husband kept urging me to visit the doctor, but I didn't like the idea. It took me awhile to finally get up the courage to call the doctor and make an appointment. Somehow, I was relieved when I only got an appointment for the following week. I was in good spirits and just hoped that my cough and shortness of breath would subside over the weekend. But as fate would have it, my condition worsened so much that I became weaker and weaker and could hardly sleep.

Honey, I'm taking you to the hospital now, Mike urged.

Stubborn as I was. I tried to convince Mike that my cough was just a minor complaint and that I would soon be fine. I promised him that if my condition persisted until Monday, I would seek medical help. But deep down, I knew something was wrong. Restlessness crept inside me, and I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. Every night I was plagued by excessive heat, despite the autumn cold. I would wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat, my clothes sticking to my body. This caused me immense anxiety and I knew that this time I would not be able to avoid a visit to the doctor.

So, I made an appointment with my family doctor, Doctor M, who was conveniently located close to our home. After several blood tests, I was advised to rest completely. Doctor M prescribed several medications, and I was sent home. If my cough persisted, I was to return to the doctor's office the following week.

Unfortunately, the medication did not alleviate my symptoms. I continued to cough and gasp for air more and more frequently - in a way I had never experienced before. Two days later, Mike again urged me to see the family doctor because nothing had improved. I hesitated, as I had never been sick before. What was happening to me right now?

I stayed stubborn and refused to see Doctor M again. I suggested to Mike to wait a few more days and that I would see her by next Friday, hoping that my symptoms would have subsided by then anyway. Mike didn't want to argue with me and walked away. He knows that if I have an opinion, nothing can make me change it.

I was shaking uncontrollably. I tried to get up, to not let myself feel anything, and to prepare dinner. I forced myself to fulfill my duties as a wife and mother, even though I felt weak. My husband is an excellent father and always took time to help our children with their homework in the evenings because I, as an Indonesian, suffer from a language barrier when doing German homework.

After dinner, I said goodbye to Mike and children and retired to our bedroom. As I lay in bed, I couldn't help but wonder what was happening to me. Fear crept inside me more and more and my heart raced more with each passing minute. Without me knowing it, my life was about to take a drastic turn.

Consultation with a general practitioner

The next day, I woke up weaker than before. Every movement required an enormous effort, and my body was so weak that I couldn't even lift a glass of water. Mike was off to work, and I just lay in bed. Preparing lunches for the kids was very difficult. In the afternoon I tried to talk to my children, but I couldn't manage it. My son looked at me with fear in his eyes, Mom, what's wrong with you? Why do you look so pale? My daughter touched my forehead and said, Mom, your forehead is really hot. You have a fever, I'll call Dad!

Mike came home immediately after the call. Come on, honey, that's enough. I'll take you to Doctor M now, he said, holding my hand. I couldn't refuse anymore. He helped me get dressed and led me to the doctor's office.

As soon as we arrived, the medical staff immediately admitted me for treatment. Doctor M was alarmed when she saw me in such a critical condition. My speech was slurred, and I could not pronounce words properly. She insisted we take an X-ray of my lungs immediately. She felt guilty for not doing the X-ray the previous week.

After a short time, the X-ray results came back, and Doctor M called us to her office. Mrs. Priandriani, I have discovered something worrisome in your left lung. I will contact the nearest hospital for further examination. They will get back to you immediately.

I left the office feeling anxious and uncertain, wondering what the future held for me.

Acupuncture therapy

My husband asked around his circle of friends for options and was given the contact to alternative medicine and an expert in acupuncture. After some research, we decided to give it a try. Fortunately, the expert, who normally lives in Ibiza, was in Zurich for a few days lecturing at the university. We made an appointment and Mike drove me to Küsnacht. From where we parked, we only had to walk a few feet to the house. Despite the short distance, I was weak and breathless. Mike noticed my condition and patiently led me along. When we reached the door, we were warmly welcomed by a middle-aged woman with long black hair who led us into a private room. The stairs to get to the room caused me massive difficulty, and I collapsed in the middle and threw up. I was embarrassed, but I got enough support and finally entered the room. There I was asked to lie down on a special acupuncture bed.

The woman asked me a few questions before she started the treatment. As she placed the needles in my body, I began to feel a gentle warmth inside me. I closed my eyes and imagined myself swinging at the beach in a hammock between two coconut trees. The sound of the waves and the breeze calmed my heart, and I soon fell asleep. When I awoke, I felt the gentle touch of my husband's hand. He helped me up and I was amazed at how strong and energized I felt. My breathing was also better controlled, and I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my chest.

Wow! That was great. The woman asked about my experience, and I told her about everything I had felt. If you like, she said with a smile, you can come back when I'm back in Zurich. After the session, I felt much better. I could climb stairs without stopping, and the breathlessness had subsided.

My body felt strong and rejuvenated and I had hope that I would continue to improve.

Referral to Horgen Hospital

The next morning, I received a referral to See-Spital Horgen, the nearest hospital, for a comprehensive full-body examination.

After patient intake, I was led to the waiting room where I joined many other patients who were already waiting to be examined.

Finally, it was my turn, and I was escorted to a private room where a nurse drew my blood and then prepared an IV. Shortly after, a young doctor entered the room and greeted me warmly before checking my pulse.

As he asked me to take a deep breath, I felt a lump forming in my chest, causing a tightness that made it difficult to breathe. A sharp pain radiated from under my left breast, and I began to cough uncontrollably, struggling to breathe again.

A nurse explained that I would have to sign a consent form because they had decided to do a CT scan to determine the cause of my shortness of breath.

I was brought into the CT scan room plagued with worry and fear for my family. What would happen to my husband and children if something bad happened to me? At that moment, I surrendered inwardly to fear and began to pray.

Oh Allah, I silently pleaded, Please make this easy for me and keep me from harm.

My head was full of worrying thoughts, and I was looking for something positive to cling to, something that would calm and comfort me in the midst of the rising panic. I took deep breaths and told myself over and over again that I was strong enough to handle anything, no matter what I was facing.

My first CT (computed tomography)

In the CT room, I saw a large machine that resembled a large tube, like the one on my favorite show, Dr. House. The machine was surrounded by several monitors. The doctor explained the procedure I would have to go through, including the use of earplugs to block out the noise and the injection of a contrast agent through the IV. I nodded in understanding.

While I was preparing for the test, I realized that I had neglected my prayers for a long time. I wondered if I deserved to ask for help from Allah, but then I remembered that it is never too late to ask for His forgiveness and guidance.

Allah is all-forgiving. He is just and almighty. I closed my eyes and prayed.

O Allah, forgive me and give me the strength and opportunity to be a better person for my family and the people around me. In Your name I seek refuge from fear and anxiety. Bismillah (In the Name of Allah)."

The procedure began, and I lay on the table looking up at the ceiling of the CT machine. I tried to focus on positive memories, like our children's laughter.

I imagined the time when they were very little children, embraced them in my mind and kissed their foreheads. I prayed for forgiveness and guidance, admitted my weaknesses and recognized the greatness of Allah.

After about 40 minutes in the tube, I thanked Allah that the procedure was over, and reassured myself by telling myself that everything was fine. However, my relief was short-lived when two doctors entered the room. One of them informed me that I had a lot of fluid in my lungs and that it had to be removed immediately to relieve my breathing difficulties.

I asked where the fluid had come from, but the doctor did not have an answer yet. They explained that the aspiration procedure was necessary and that it would be done as soon as possible. I felt anxious and scared, but silently prayed for Allah's help and guidance.

Please, Allah, don't take me now. I am not ready yet. Give me the opportunity to get better.

I suddenly sensed that something was happening here that would bring many more unanswered questions and challenges, but I also knew that I was not alone. Allah was with me, guiding me and protecting me.

Pus in the left lung

The medical staff wasted no time and immediately initiated the suction process to remove the fluid from my lungs as quickly as possible.

The nurse explained the procedure and I nodded in understanding. The doctor gently warned me before inserting a needle into my back, which felt like a small prick.

Now it was time to go. The doctors punctured my lung with a large and hollow hypodermic needle and began to pull the fluid out of my lung. It hurt like hell, but I endured it, knowing that it was necessary for my health. So, always thinking of something positive, not letting fear take over. I prayed again and sought Allah's protection and guidance.

This suction process seemed to take forever before it was finally over.

You did great, the doctors praised me. We had to remove a liter and a half of fluid from your lungs.

I was surprised to hear volume of fluid that they had collected there. However, when they told me that something like pus had accumulated in that fluid, I was shocked and scared again. How could this have happened? I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. Everything will be all right.

Inpatient hospital admission

I was advised to stay overnight, and Mike and I agreed with the doctor's advice. He went home to get some clothes and hygiene items.

The cold and lonely night made my mind wander,