Tangents: Hazardverse: Sidetracks, #1

By Gregory Ashe

Don't blink, or you'll miss it.

Tangents (Volume 1) is a collection of flash fiction stories set in the Hazardverse. It includes the following:

"But It's Still a Race"

Emery, John-Henry, North, and Shaw compete in a race at Halloween.

"The Least We Could Do"

Jem and Tean cook dinner.

"Meet (Not Cute)"

Jadon and Nico meet. Unfortunately, North and Shaw are there too.

"I Wanted to Tell You Something"

Fer visits Theo and Auggie.

"Opuntia Microdasys"

Emery catches Shaw at a bad time.

"Summer Nights"

A late-night conversation results in unexpected revelations.

"The Things We Do"

Jem takes one for the team.

"Evie's Dad"

Emery takes Colt and Evie shopping for new shoes.

"Big Strong Guys"

Colt and Ashley go on a ghost hunt. North and Shaw tag along.

Please note that these stories were previously distributed to the author's readers group.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Hodgkin and Blount
• Release date: Nov 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9781636210759

Book preview

Tangents_Volume_1_Title_Page

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Tangents Volume 1

Copyright © 2024 Gregory Ashe

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law. For permission requests and all other inquiries, contact: [e-mail]

Published by Hodgkin & Blount

https://www.hodgkinandblount.com/

[e-mail]

Published 2023

Printed in the United States of America

Version 1.01

Trade Paperback ISBN: 978-1-63621-076-6

eBook ISBN: 978-1-63621-075-9

But It’s Still a Race

I look like fucking Zorro, Emery said.

Around them, Wahredua’s Halloween festivities were in full swing. The city center had been transformed with orange and black crepe paper, orange lights, fake spider webs, and a sprawl of venues: haunted houses, apple bobbing (an invitation to the plague, Emery thought), a corn maze, shooting galleries. It seemed the whole town had turned out.

"That’s because Woody from Toy Story doesn’t wear a black western shirt with silver fringe, John said. He wears yellow plaid. Like the shirt I bought you."

I don’t need a shirt that I’m only going to wear once, John.

And so here we are.

I hear your tone, but it’s difficult to take you seriously when you’re in…that.

That being the Rex from Toy Story costume that John was currently wearing. Evie, in her Jessie costume, had determined the adult costumes, of course. Which only made sense, in Emery’s opinion. Although he was starting to think maybe John had been right about the yellow plaid.

Maybe if you had a mask, John said.

Emery shot his husband a look, but it was hard to tell how effective it was when his husband was ensconced in an inflatable dinosaur.

They made their way among the venues and attractions, stopping for Evie to smash a ghost (a balloon filled with a few pieces of candy), and for her to ride a broomstick (Emery resisted the urge to point out that it wasn’t a particularly aerodynamic specimen), and for John, of course, to say hi to all and sundry. Somehow, because he was John, being inside a cartoon dinosaur only seemed to make people like him more.

They were passing the spiderweb race when a familiar voice said, For fuck’s sake.

North was dressed in a ball cap, a blue jacket, and jeans. Shaw wore some ridiculous ears, an obscenely form-fitting yellow bodysuit, and a squiggly tail.

Emery! He tried to rush forward, but North caught his tail, and Shaw made distressed noises as he lunged again.

Who the fuck are you? North asked. Zorro?

I’m not Zorro, Emery snapped. I’m Woody. And watch your mouth; there are kids around, for Christ’s sake. He considered the pair of them and said to Shaw, What are you? An ocelot?

North’s jaw actually loosened. Are you for real? Is he for real?

I think they’re Ash and Pikachu, John said. Hi, guys.

Oh my God, John-Henry! Shaw’s face opened in wonder. I thought you were a dinosaur!

Emery grunted. Pikachu’s tail is supposed to look like a lightning bolt, not a jankety—

He did manage to stop himself, but North, of course, said, Wang?

Emery opened his mouth to reply, but John hurried to say, What are you guys doing here?

About to beat all these chumps and win the grand prize, North said and jerked a thumb at the spiderweb race. A hundred bucks.

It’s not a hundred dollars, Shaw said. It’s a hundred-dollar gift certificate for frozen custard, which we can’t even use because of North’s dairy allergy. Intolerance. Um, reactivity? Is runaway farting more of an intolerance or a reactivity?

We definitely can use it, North said. And we will, once we hand these bozos their asses.

Charming, Emery said. It must be incredibly invigorating to fantasize about demolishing your opponents in a contest designed for children at a family-friendly event.

Uh, yeah. It is.

Oh my God, are you guys doing the race?

The voice