Surviving a Psychopathic Mother

By Hannah Haworth

Behind closed doors, my mother’s emotional, psychological, and physical abuse created a living nightmare that remained hidden from the world. Yet, to outsiders, she exuded charm and charisma, casting doubt upon any potential complaints that might arise from her own flesh and blood. Her well-practiced deception isolated me, stripping away my support system and leaving me to grapple with an agonizing emotional dilemma.

This book unveils the chilling methods psychopaths employ to trap their victims. With calculated precision, my mother engaged in a program of emotional seduction, luring me into a web of false affection—an insidious practice commonly referred to as ‘love-bombing’ in non-academic literature. Once she deemed me securely ensnared, she manipulated my circumstances, whether through marriage or financial dependency, severing my ties with family and friends, and leaving me utterly alone.

The most glaring symptom of my mother’s psychopathy was her pathological lying, followed by a complete absence of compassion, empathy, and love. Conscience eluded her, as guilt and remorse were foreign emotions that she skilfully evaded. Her mistakes became my burden, as she shifted blame onto others, leaving me to question my own worth and desperate to regain the love I believed was once genuine.

As I recount my personal journey through the darkness of my mother’s psychopathy, I expose the intricate layers of her personality disorder. Rooted in paranoia, narcissism, and sadism, her cruelty knew no bounds. Surviving a Psychopathic Mother offers a beacon of hope to those who have endured similar torment. Through my raw and candid narrative, expert insights, and practical strategies, I guide fellow survivors on a path of healing and liberation. Discover how to reclaim your identity, rebuild your life, and break free from the suffocating grasp of a psychopathic mother.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Oct 13, 2023
• ISBN: 9781035823666

Hannah Haworth

Hannah Haworth completed her PhD Thesis in the Department of Philosophy at Deakin University, Victoria, Australia. Her thesis was titled “Psychoanalysis and the Death Drive”. Upon completion of her PhD, Robyn was appointed as an Associate Professor at the University of Wollongong, where she undertook theoretical research into the biochemical causation of mental illness. She wrote 34 journal articles published in Medical Hypotheses and Human Psychopharmacology. These published papers formed the basis of this book in conjunction with 50 years of Psychiatric Nursing experience, through which she recognised the very sad plight of psychiatric patients.

Book preview

About the Author

Hannah Haworth was born in New Zealand in 1943 where she lived until 1966 when she moved to Australia. Her mother was a cruel and vindictive psychopath who divorced her father when Hannah was 9 months old. Like all psychopaths, Hannah’s mother engaged in a slanderous smear campaign, in relation to Hannah’s father, in order to justify her initiation of the divorce proceedings. This meant Hannah became the sole victim of her mother’s vindictive behaviour that was well hidden from public view. Hannah, therefore, had no viable support leaving her with only two life choices, to either sink or swim. Hannah chose to swim.

Dedication

To my daughter Catherine Mary and her husband Paul Anthony Kelley.

Copyright Information ©

Hannah Haworth 2023

The right of Hannah Haworth to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

All of the events in this memoir are true to the best of author’s memory. The views expressed in this memoir are solely those of the author.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781035823659 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781035823666 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2023

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Introduction

The foregoing memoir was written for three principal reasons. The first reason was to provide the reader with a personal illustration of what living with a psychopath involves. The victim is subjected to continuous emotional abuse and often physical violence as well. Such abuse is now referred to as ‘coercive control’ that can attract a prison sentence up to seven years in Australia. I have sought to rely on my own experience in order to bring the psychopath’s behaviour into the light.

The second reason is due to the probability that large numbers of men and women are currently being subjected to a psychopath’s coercive control with no viable avenue of escape. This particularly applies to women, trapped in a relationship with dependent children, who lack the financial means to escape.

The third reason is that the psychopathology of psychopaths is poorly described in official textbooks which makes finding a detailed description of psychopathic behaviour difficult to access.

My journey with a psychopathic mother and husband may well be replicated in a myriad of relationships with the victim neither knowing nor understanding why they are being subjected to such unacceptable treatment. This is especially so, given that the relationship was not, in all probability, like that in the initial stages of the relationship.

Psychopaths have a well-rehearsed propensity to blame the other for their objectional behaviour. Thus, the deterioration of the relationship is laid entirely at the victim’s door. The other aspect of their controlling behaviour is their capacity to conceal their objectionable behaviour from their targeted victim as well as the victim’s family and friends. That behaviour is only unveiled when alone with the victim. Consequently, family and friends believe the psychopath is a genuinely likeable individual leaving the victim unable to confide in anyone for fear they would not be believed.

The final act of treachery on the part of the psychopath, is to remove their victim from all their previous support systems in order to ensure that the victimization of their partner will go undetected. My mother and husband both resorted to this sinister act of deceitfulness.

Chapter One

Early Childhood

I was born in Christchurch, New Zealand on the 22nd of November 1943. My first recollection of my mother was when I was three years old. It was then that she told me of the diabolical reasons why she divorced my father when I was nine months old. She claimed that when I was a baby, she watched my father in the mirror of their bedroom, teaching me to play with his penis. In order to add insult to injury she also told me that my father was a sexual maniac and compulsive gambler. As a result of receiving that intelligence, when three years old, I grew up feeling terrified that I too, would also become a sexual maniac and a compulsive gambler. Although at three, I really did not understand what those accusations meant, it simply sounded terrible.

The early parental divorce in my life also meant I was without a father as well as any siblings leaving me divested of a viable support system. Furthermore, given my mother came from a very prominent wealthy family in Christchurch, it meant the salacious divorce proceedings were well publicized by the press. Thus, my mother became infamous as she gave the court, and hence the whole town, the above reasons for the divorce. So not only did I have to weather the implications of everyone knowing the details of my mother’s divorce; they also knew I came from a very wealthy family, and that I was an only child. Consequently, people who met me expected me to be nothing but a spoilt brat.

My father died of multiple sclerosis when I was fifteen and since I was never allowed to meet him, I was deprived of ever knowing him prior to his death. According to his second wife, Mary, he regularly sent me birthday and Christmas presents that I never received. As a child, I obviously knew nothing about the behaviour patterns of psychopaths, but it is a very common practice for them to separate the children of a marital relationship from the discarded parent. Such was my fate.

My next recollection, from the age of three to four, was being a recipient of almost daily thrashings with a coat-hanger from my mother, for relatively trivial offences.