Love and Forgiveness: Healing Hearts, #1

By Kacey Thorne

Can a shattered heart dare to love again?

What happens when an unexpected encounter challenges and redefines forgiveness?

 

In "Love and Forgiveness," the captivating first installment of Kacey Thorne's Healing Hearts Series, readers are plunged into the turbulent life of Emily Harper.

 

Emily envisioned a life filled with love, stability, and the joys of building a family. She dreamt of shared laughter in a cozy home, of adventures with the man she loved more than anything. But in one swift moment, her world is shattered when her fiancé abruptly ends their relationship, leaving her grappling with a broken heart and a future full of uncertainties.

 

From the depths of this despair, Emily's story unfolds—a poignant journey of heartache, resilience, and the indomitable power of forgiveness.

 

Returning to her hometown for her high school reunion, Emily's past and present collide. Here, amidst a backdrop of old memories and faces, she encounters not just the remnants of her past but is forced to confront old demons and dreaded enemies.

 

When Emily thought she had survived the weekend without encountering Joe, her high school bully, the man she had loathed for years, and the last person she ever wanted to see again, fate had other plans. Emily finds herself seated next to Joe on the train ride home. This forced proximity to her past nemesis brings a flood of old emotions and memories, challenging both to face the demons of their shared history.

 

Their unexpected journey together reignites old memories, challenging long-held perceptions and igniting a spark of something that blurs the lines between past and present.

 

Will she find the strength to forgive, let go, and embrace the possibility of new love? Or will the shadows of her past forever cloud her future?

 

In 'Love and Forgiveness,' Kacey Thorne weaves an emotionally rich narrative that delves deep into the complexities of the human heart. Masterfully depicting Emily's inner turmoil and her valiant struggle to reconcile with her past, Thorne crafts a story that resonates with the power of forgiveness and the resilience of love.

 

This novel is more than a tale of heartbreak; it's a journey of transformation where each page turns a new leaf in understanding. Thorne's prose is heartfelt, her characters vividly drawn, creating a tapestry of human emotion that explores how our past shapes our present and future. Join Emily on her poignant journey, a path filled with confronting fears, seeking forgiveness, and navigating the unexpected twists of life. 'Love and Forgiveness' is a compelling exploration of love's resilience and the redemptive power of second chances, promising a journey filled with heart, complexity, and emotional truths that linger long after the final page.

 

More from Kacey

 

• Love & Trusting (Healing Hearts Book 2)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kacey Thorne
• Release date: Sep 26, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223033561

Kacey Thorne

Kacey Thorne is an accomplished romance writer who has captured the hearts of readers with her captivating stories of love, passion, and happily-ever-afters. Kacey Thorne is a rising star in the world of romance literature, bringing fresh perspectives and compelling characters to the genre. With a talent for crafting stories that combine sizzling chemistry with emotional depth, Kacey has quickly gained a loyal following of readers who can't get enough of her books. Her passion for romance shines through in every page, as she explores the complexities of relationships and the power of love to transform lives. As a new author, Kacey is poised to make a big impact on the world of romance, and her fans eagerly await her next release.

Book preview

1

Ididn’t know how I was going to cope without Christopher. We had spent almost every day together for seven years, and now he was gone. I was alone, my fiancé was gone, and my dreams were shattered.

As I stood staring at myself in the mirror, I didn’t recognize the girl looking back at me. I had locked myself in my bedroom, not even catching a glimpse of light for the past three days. My swollen tear-soaked eyes were hurting, and the salt had dried my skin. Poor Emily Harper, life was not supposed to turn out this way. The measly few hours I had managed to sleep since he walked out were the only times I wasn’t hopelessly shedding tears, and my heart wasn’t breaking for the love of my life to return.

Christopher Falcon had caught my eye at the annual springtime carnival when we were just 21. He was with his buddies, and I was out with my girlfriends. Big brazen Chris made his move that night and approached me with a corny pickup line that I couldn't help but laugh at. From then on, we were inseparable. He was my best friend, my rock, my everything.

It was love at first sight for the both of us, Chris with his deep brown eyes and heavy black hair perfectly swept back from his face. From the moment I saw his infectious smile, I knew he was the one. Although, it was his never-failing sense of humor that had me hooked. I missed his laugh, I missed his face, and I missed the way he held me. What I would give for one more moment, for one more chance to bring our love back. The memories and the fun we shared now just seem lost.

Now he was ‘bored.’ Bored? What does that even mean? But of course, what started off as letting me down ‘gently’ quickly turned into a nasty stand-off. At the same time, he listed off every flaw one could possibly possess, calling off our engagement and leaving me. We were supposed to get married next year, plan our kids, and build our lives together.

I will never forget the moment he walked out the door. He didn’t just break my heart that night. He destroyed me.

If there was one thing I had wanted ever since I could remember, it was to be the love of somebody’s life. Now I was the love of nobody.

‘Emily, come on, this is just ridiculous. I can’t do this with you any more, seriously; you need to snap out of it.’

Amanda had always been there for me, no matter what, and this time was no different. But when it came to being hurt, she knew I was not exactly the type to let things go in a hurry. 

‘It’s only been three weeks, Amanda; we were together for seven years,’ I replied, fighting the tears.  

‘Have you heard from him? Does he even care what he has done to you?’ I shook my head. ‘No, I didn’t think so. I don’t want to hear his name again, ever. I’m serious, Emily. This is not healthy. You know what, you are coming to this reunion with me, and you will damn well enjoy yourself for once, and I will not take no for an answer this time.’  

The dreaded 10-year high school reunion.

‘Nope, no way, not going to happen. You couldn’t drag me to that thing if you tried.’ Amanda Richards had been my bestie since high school, and now a bit of tough love was coming out to play. I felt defeated. 

‘Do you remember what it was like for me in high school? I’m not going back there, not ever.’

‘It was 10 years ago, and I was there too, remember? I think it will be good for you to go back and face your demons. You hold on to these things for too long, just like that spineless dirtbag Christopher.’ She shuddered as she said his name. She had never been a fan of him.

‘Dirtbag? He was the love of my life; I don’t know what to do without him,’ I said, still holding the pillow up to my face. Amanda snatched it from my hands. 

‘You’ve hardly left this damn house in weeks, and to be honest, I’m sick of coming around just to check if you’re still breathing. I love you, Emily, but you seriously need to pull yourself together.’ Amanda was serious. 

I sat in silence, feeling embarrassed. I knew I had become a mess and was starting to abuse those who still loved me. I couldn't afford to lose them too, but it seemed like no one understood what I was going through. How could Amanda, who was happily married, possibly understand what it felt like to be dumped?

‘Look, Emily, I've had a long day at work. I'm tired...’ Amanda began.

‘Alright, I'll come,’ I cut her off just to shut her up. I could tell she was exhausted. She had been hounding me about this reunion for months, even before Christopher and I split, but this was the first time I'd agreed, and I instantly regretted it, knowing there was no way she would let me back out now.

‘Good, now get your ass into the shower. You stink,’ Amanda snarked back.

I stood in front of the mirror again, looking at the sad girl staring back at me. I felt as small as I looked. At only 5'1", my already petite frame looked even tinier and wasted. I had hardly eaten these past few weeks, and it had taken its toll. Not only did I stink, but I also looked sickly and horrid. My once smooth skin was no longer soft and clear; instead, it was dull and blotchy. I needed a whole cosmetics store to fix this mess. If Amanda was going to drag me to this reunion, I needed to get my act together.

Only a few weeks ago I had been the happiest I’d ever been. I was engaged to the love of my life, I had a job I loved, a home filled with happy memories and a social life filled with fun, laughter and adventure. All the happiness and joy I had felt just a short time ago vanished, leaving me feeling like an empty shell of my former self.

Unlike the smelly, miserable mess I had become, Amanda was a vision of glamour. She had long wavy red hair that flowed down past her shoulders, and she dressed immaculately, always made up like a cover girl. She was truly stunning. Amanda had a successful career as an IT Manager for one of New York's largest electricity companies. Her success was enviable; she had been around the world and back again. She had money, an amazing husband, and was the kindest soul. To top it all off, she lived in a luxurious Manhattan apartment. While I couldn't have been prouder and happy that she had made her success all on her own, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy. It was as if everything just worked out for her. When the truth of the matter was, she had worked her ass off.

She had been there for me every step of the way when I had become the face of misery after my fiancé Christopher broke up with me. Claiming he was bored, that we had got together too young, and he wasn’t ready to settle. Along with whatever other excuse he could pull out of his hat. Of course, I didn’t think 21 was so young back then. I was happy to settle down and live out my life as a happy housewife with three kids. I just wanted to be loved, and with so much love to give, I loved Christopher more than I could ever have imagined. But, as it turns out, he already had a new floozy. Talk about moving on fast. Maybe he really was a dirtbag, I thought.

At 28 years old, being single again wasn’t how things were supposed to have gone. I knew I was still young, but I didn’t feel it. On the contrary, I felt like it was all over. I was lost, depressed and angry. After the break up, I was so numb with shock I went to work as though nothing had happened, it wasn’t until it all sunk in a few days later and I ended up a babbling mess in my boss’s office, who sent me home until I felt ready to return.

I was an environmental journalist for a small but successful New York Media company. I featured once a week on a small talk back radio show and wrote a weekly column for free newspaper about current environmental issues. I wasn’t big time, but I loved it. That was until now. Now my own life seemed to be my biggest issue and any form of reporting just seemed unthinkable. I needed some time off. So instead, I chose to spend my desolate days in my PJs, moping about the house we had shared, crying at every memory he had left behind. Even having a morning coffee became a bawling session as I drank from the mug, I had bought him. Christopher had chosen to move out, but looking around, maybe I would have been better for it, if I had left him. My social life had dissipated when Christopher left too. Most of our friends were his from before we met. My friends were Amanda, and a few work colleagues.

‘Let’s give her a few weeks to get it out of her system, she will soon have no tears left to cry, and hopefully, she’ll pull herself out of it,’ I heard Amanda suggesting to my mom on the phone a few days after the breakup. 

‘I hope so. I really worry about her.’ My mom was hurting. I felt bad they were so worried about me. Weeks had gone by, and I wasn’t feeling a whole lot better.

Amanda had stuck by me for these last few weeks, and I still couldn’t pull myself out of it; she was not having a part of it any longer. Our high school reunion was coming up next week, and Amanda was not going alone. She planned on dragging me out of town for the weekend to attend and slap some sense into this sorry sight for a sad woman.

I felt hesitant about attending my high school reunion, as I had no desire to revisit my past experiences. While I wasn't considered a popular student, I didn't possess the conventional beauty standards often celebrated in high school. Instead, I carried a bit of baby weight into my late teens, had acne-prone skin, frizzy hair, and wasn't particularly fashion-savvy. Unfortunately, I encountered unkindness from my peers, as they hurled derogatory names like 'Wide Load' and 'Mack Truck' at me, and even placed 'Feed Me' post-it notes on my back.  That was only the beginning of the cruelty imposed on me back then. How could I face these people? Amanda was the only one who got me through the years. They stole my self-esteem and made me an easy target, especially to one horrible jock I wished to forget. Joseph Carlton. The worst of them all. I never could understand how someone could be so incredibly nasty to another human being.

Now 10 years on, the effects of high school are something I thought I had left behind, but the thought of going back made it obvious I hadn’t. Stick and stones may break my bones, but names will always hurt me. And they did. I realized I had never really gotten over how ugly and worthless they had made me feel in high school. I know we were all only teenagers back then; teenagers are cruel. Still, for some reason, I just couldn’t let it go.

‘Look, it will be good for you to get out. It’s been weeks now; you’ve had your time to grieve. Now it’s time to get up and get the fuck over it! I’m not playing Mr. nice guy anymore. We haven’t been out together in forever.’

‘Okay, okay fuck, alright,’ I interrupted. ‘I said I’d go, jeez, woman. You just don’t stop.’ What had I done? Standing my ground was something I really needed to work on. I owed this to Amanda, she was so excited about going, it was the least I could do after everything she has done for me.

‘Thank you,’ Amanda said proudly. ‘You need some fun and a girl’s weekend away to get your mind off things’ she was right, again. I needed to do this, or she’d have me committed.

Amanda and I had totally different lives, but through all of it remained the best of friends no matter what life threw at us. Moving to New York together after high school, we are both still here 10 years on. Amanda and I went to different colleges, she went off to NYU while I went to Fordham University, It was the best an most exciting thing we had done together, that and leave Charleston.

While I loved my job, I lacked passion for it. I never found my real passion as a career woman; I’ve never really found my passion for much at all, except Christopher. My aspirations and dreams had turned to marriage, making a home, and family once I met him, and I was happy. I had Christopher, and I was content; in my mind, I had found my true love, and that was what mattered. That could have been a problem in itself; I never had anything for myself. I was happy playing house, yet waiting is what I did most: waiting for marriage, children, and Christopher.

Christopher worked in finance, working massive hours, and when he wasn’t working, baseball was his baby. He played, he coached, he watched. I came in fourth place after his mates.

Amanda and I had a pretty good social life, don’t get me wrong, but Chris always came first to me, always; now I know it should have always been me.

2

Irolled over in bed and flung my arm out to the other side of the bed, the empty side; it was cool and lonely. A heavy sigh came over me, but I had promised Amanda I would at least try and make a solid effort to pull myself together, and I was finally getting tired of moping around.

I grabbed my journal from the bedside table. The last few weeks of entries were nothing but solemn and misery, a constant repeat of the same old feelings day after day, pouring my heart out onto paper, hoping it would somehow make me feel better. I looked back to the day Christopher had left me. Tears glided gently down my cheeks as I re-lived the memory and panic I felt that day. Trying to figure out all the unanswered questions I had about what I had done wrong. Why did he not love me anymore? Where would I live? How would I cope?

‘Not today,’ I said out loud and slammed the book shut. I didn’t need to fuel my negativity right before I would brave the outside world. I placed my journal back into its drawer to await my returning entry.

Journalling was the one thing I had stuck to ever since I learnt to write. I had stacks of diaries stored in boxes going back till I was about 6. I wrote and wrote almost everyday, about everything from what I ate for breakfast, travel journals from family trips to Disneyland, and school yard boyfriends. All my thoughts and feelings sealed in the pages.

The reunion was only a couple of days away, I had to get myself up and out and find something suitable to wear. So, after I slumped out of bed, I made my way to the bathroom.

‘Today is a new day,’ I repeated to myself as I undressed and slipped into the warm shower.

Fresh from a long shower, I already began to feel a little better. However, I still wasn’t sure going to this reunion was a good idea. I had tried so hard to forget all that I went through there, and I wanted nothing more than to put it behind me, not face it all again.

I had packed a small case of things to take with me for the weekend and was off to stay with Amanda tonight in the city before we leave early tomorrow morning for Charleston. Today we were shopping for our reunion get-ups, and while I was looking forward to seeing Amanda, dress shopping was not something I was enthusiastic about at the best of times. I pulled on some shorts and a tank, a cool outfit for a warm July day. I knew the exact store Amanda would be dragging me out to shop, and I’d be lucky to be let through the doors wearing such a thing, but I didn’t care. I made my way to the kitchen made myself a fresh cup of black coffee from the percolator, poured it into my travel mug, slipped on my flip-flops, and headed out the door before changing my mind. It was a beautiful morning in Rye, and as I felt the sun’s warmth on my pale cream skin, a rare smile crossed my face as I breathed in the warm summer air.

‘Ok, Emily, let’s do this,’