It's My First Time Getting Old (So Excuse Me If I Go Astray)

By Charles Pemberton

Aging: The Adventure You Didn't Know You Signed Up For.

 

Embark on a profound exploration of life, aging, and the mysteries beyond with "It's My First Time Getting Old (So Excuse Me If I Go Astray)". This unique work of fiction masterfully weaves philosophical thought with an intimate journey into the realities of aging and mortality.

 

The book presents the intellectual musings of the fictional Dr. Charles Pemberton. As a philosopher at the brink of his eighth decade, Dr. Pemberton brings a wealth of wisdom, personal experiences, and eclectic pop culture references to his narrative, creating a resonant exploration of the universal human experience.

 

Each chapter delves into a new facet of life's journey, from reflections on the paradox of aging, the portrayal of aging in media, our evolving perceptions of time, to the final frontier of death. The narrative is not just a contemplation of life's biggest questions, but a testament to the human spirit's quest for meaning and understanding.

 

Whether you're an aspiring philosopher, a lover of thought-provoking fiction, or someone seeking a fresh perspective on aging and life's ultimate questions, "It's My First Time Getting Old (So Excuse Me If I Go Astray)" promises to leave you enriched and profoundly moved. This compelling read is more than a book—it's a journey into the depths of what it means to grow old and the wisdom that comes with it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Albert's Bridge Books
• Release date: Nov 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223029618

Book preview

Introduction

There's something happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear..."

—Buffalo Springfield, For What It's Worth

We shall not cease from exploration / And the end of all our exploring / Will be to arrive where we started / And know the place for the first time.

—T.S. Eliot, Little Gidding (from Four Quartets)

I will be blunt: I am a philosopher at the brink of my eighth decade, and I am facing death. Well, I suppose we all are; it just seems much closer from where I’m currently standing, which is at the narrow edge of a precipice.

A lifetime of pursuing wisdom, grappling with profound questions about life, existence, and meaning has led me to this juncture. Now just as Lewis Carroll's Alice ventured into her Wonderland, I too find myself at the edge of a new realm, where the reality of aging and dying becomes more personal.

I'm faced with a new set of profound questions that are as intimate as they are universal.

My life has been a rich tapestry woven with threads of philosophy, music, and personal experiences. As a professor, I had the privilege of delving into the depths of philosophical thought, of engaging in riveting dialogues with bright minds, and of learning as much as I taught. This intellectual journey was underscored by a soundtrack of music that resonated with my quest for understanding—from the introspective lyrics of Buffalo Springfield to the soulful tunes of Aretha Franklin.

Just as Lewis Carroll's Cheshire Cat guided Alice with his cryptic yet profound wisdom, I too found myself playing a similar role. In my many years as a professor, I had numerous interactions with students that have left a lasting impression.

One such experience comes to mind. I remember a bright-eyed freshman, Amber, who approached me after a lecture on existentialism. I had quoted Jean-Paul Sartre's famous line, Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. Amber was visibly perplexed by this daunting statement. She wanted to understand what Sartre meant by the 'condemnation' of freedom.

To clarify, I turned to a more contemporary source—pop music, much like how Carroll used nonsensical verses to reveal profound truths. I recalled the lyrics from a song by The Clash, Should I Stay or Should I Go. The song's chorus goes, If I go, there will be trouble. And if I stay it will be double.

I explained to Amber that, much like Sartre's quote, the song lyric embodied a similar existential dilemma. It conveyed the burden of choice and the inherent responsibility that comes with freedom. Every decision, whether to stay or go, comes with its unique set of consequences, and we are inevitably responsible for those outcomes.

Amber’s face lit up with understanding. The philosophy quote that initially seemed so opaque to her was now clear, thanks to a pop song lyric.

This was a pivotal moment, not just for Amber, but for me as well. It affirmed my belief that philosophy isn't confined to scholarly texts; it permeates our everyday life, even in pop culture. This incident became a cornerstone of my teaching philosophy, reminding me to always connect complex philosophical concepts to relatable real-world anecdotes and examples, just as Carroll did through his whimsical stories and characters.

Yet, as I've entered my twilight years, I've found that the abstract theories and intellectual debates which dominated my youth now give way to a deeper, more personal quest for understanding. The concept of death, once an intellectual puzzle to be dissected in the calm confines of a lecture hall, has become a visceral, looming reality.

This shift began in earnest with the passing of my beloved wife, Bernice. Her death, three years ago, was a moment that forever changed the landscape of my existence. As I held her hand during those final moments, I felt a profound emptiness seep into the room as her presence ebbed away. It was a moment that brought the abstract concept of mortality into sharp, painful focus.

Bernice’s passing opened a door to a new phase of my life, one marked by an acute awareness of my own mortality. It also left me grappling with the question of the afterlife. Do I believe in it? I'm not certain. But as I held Bernice’s hand, feeling her life force fade away, I found myself hoping, perhaps for the first time in my life, for its existence.

The thought that our love, a bond that has deeply shaped my life, could transcend our physical existence offered a comfort I had not anticipated.

"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?"

-Edgar Allan Poe,The Premature Burial

As Lewis Carroll's Alice found herself in a world that defied logic and conventional wisdom, I too have been thrust into a phase of life that challenges my understanding of existence.

Throughout my journey, I've come to realize how differently various cultures perceive and experience aging and death. In Western societies, we often view aging with trepidation, as a time of loss—loss of youth, vitality, and eventually, life itself. We see death as the end, a cessation of existence to be feared and avoided.

In contrast, many Eastern cultures view aging with reverence, seeing it as a time of gaining wisdom and respect. Death is often seen as a natural part of the life cycle, a transition rather than an end. In Hinduism, for instance, death is not the end but a step in the eternal cycle of birth, death, and rebirth. In Buddhism, death is perceived as a chance for liberation from this cycle.

Just as Alice's adventures challenged the norms and expectations of her reality, these contrasting views have given me much to ponder. Is death the end, or is it a transition? Is aging a process of loss, or is it a time of gaining wisdom and respect? These questions, much like the riddles posed by Carroll's Mad Hatter, have no definitive answers, but exploring them has transformed my understanding of my own mortality.

As a society, we often ignore the realities of aging and death. Yet, these experiences are universal. Aging, dying, coming to terms with our mortality—these are shared aspects of the human condition. But we're rarely given a guide to traverse these deep waters.

This book is my attempt to provide that guide. As a philosopher who is experiencing the realities of aging and dying, I aim to share my insights, fears, discoveries, and reflections. I hope that in sharing my journey, I can offer some comfort and guidance for others who find themselves navigating these uncharted waters.

So, let us embark on this journey