A Dog's Tale

By R.J. Tuzzo

Ray Sabatini is a hard-working father who does his best to provide for his family. But do they appreciate the solid roof over their heads and the abundant Italian-American food on their table? To escape the constant demands for a better life from his wife, Kate, the surly criticism of his son, Stanley, and the sarcastic scorn of his mother-in-law Janet, Ray goes for a walk with his best friend—his loyal dog, Clyde—contently smoking his signature cigar and throwing a squeaky toy for Clyde to chase. Then Ray's life and his world suddenly alter beyond belief.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Aug 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9798350915204

Book preview

Tale 1

You can call me Ray.

I just came in from chasing my neighbor’s cat. She’s an orange tabby they call Daisy.

I call her lazy Daisy.

The reason is, she knows that my lawn is my territory. I’ve chased her from one evergreen to another, but even though she has a nice big lawn of her own, she likes to shit on mine.

Since I can’t catch her, I give her a yell and a few whistles to scare her off.

Now I’m exhausted, so I decide to take a nap by my fireplace, which is not in use now. It’s a habit of mine, especially when it’s foul weather. The family doesn’t approve. Particularly if I spread out on the couch. Then, it’s chaos.

Before I doze off, I reflect on my trucking business. I’m always trying to drum up more business. My secretary, Isabelle, says I should advertise on the radio. I like her idea. The business is called R&W Trucking. I’m the R, and the W is for Wife, Kate. I’m not proud to say this but she’s a snob. She never wanted to be involved with the trucking business. It was low class. She complained that my drivers, Emelio and Sanchez, were rude. They looked dirty and smelled. Trucking is a grueling business, I tell her. The men break their asses moving furniture from one house to another - how do you want them dressed - in a shirt and tie? Jeez! And she never hesitates to run to Saks for a special sale even when I need her help filing my work orders.

So, if she doesn’t give a hoot, why should I give a damn?

Kate and I met at the great Roseland Ballroom in New York City, and at the time I thought her sassy demeanor was vivacious and full of fun. Those were the attributes that attracted me to her.

We danced through the night and continued to see each other. We clicked as a couple and started making plans for the future.

Kate didn’t have a condescending bone in her body then, but once we were married and I wanted her to help with my growing business, she balked and became aloof and sarcastic.

Then her family interfered with our plans. Our lives were in disarray and eventually began to disintegrate. I thought my business would be a family business, but no one cares. I’m doing pretty well, despite all the attitudes. My family wanted to get out of Brooklyn, so I bought a wonderful four-bedroom house in Massapequa Park on Long Island. It’s a big move for me and I didn’t complain, even though I was dragging my ass to leave the suburbs at 5 a.m. to get to the Manhattan garage in time to do business.

Kate’s mother, Janet, lives in Babylon, Long Island and so as not to be too close to my mother-in-law, I managed to talk my wife into buying in Massapequa. I thought the twenty-minute drive to see her obnoxious mother wasn’t far enough.

She was pissed about not being near Janet, and she called me an inconsiderate boob. I didn’t give a shit.

I told Kate from the beginning of our marriage to keep her domineering mother at a distance.

Janet manipulated Kate who manipulated me into buying the Mercedes, rather than the Volvo we liked. Then another twist when Janet asked why didn’t we have a live-in housekeeper.

I told my mother-in-law to cut us some slack or else, but my threats were never taken seriously.

She criticized me for getting a dog. I don’t like anybody ragging on my dog so I poke fun at Janet’s hair dye to shut her up.

Her overbearing manner is why her husband Walter skipped town.

I have two children. A son, Stanley, a dreamer who never gets off his ass to pursue his dreams. I think the very idea of work gives him nightmares.

He could have helped me in my business because he’s a good bullshitter, but he’s way too lazy. He always looks for an easy way out with anything he does. Or doesn’t do.

I tried getting him a sales job at a Dodge dealer, but he said the hours were too long. So, he gets a job with the Post Office and hates the fact that he has to deliver mail in bad weather. I guess he forgot to read the Postal Service creed.

He’s got a lovely, wife named Ursula. Lovely, but pushy. Real pushy.

She tries to prod him into finding a better paying job. She makes up for Stanley’s lack of ambition by overspending on pedicures, the hair salon, and Yoga classes, which makes him hit the ceiling.

I can deal with all the arguing, but I get pissed off when I find Ursula snooping around my office. My dog Clyde can smell her a mile away and his growl is a steady reminder that she’s doing it again.

My granddaughter, Erica, is 7 years old, and the little squirt doesn’t say much because despite her tender years she’s constantly texting on her iPhone or playing games on her computer. But when she opens her big mouth, she has a lot to say, and demands attention.

When I was her age and cried out loud for attention my father was always happy to oblige me—with his belt. Then there’s Emily, my beautiful daughter. Her attractive looks never fail to turn heads.

Em’s the one who needs love and attention. She was heartbroken when her blooming affair with a secretive and deceitful accountant withered into a disaster.

The bastard was married with kids, so I have to forgive her demeanor being gloomy and pessimistic all these weeks.

Kate and I tried to soothe her pain, but she would get furious, and shouting, I’ll deal with it my own way, damn it. That shut us up like clams.

Em’s feisty, like me, and while she deals with her own bitterness, she never gives me shit about my dog. I love her for that. She knows how inseparable Clyde and I are.

Emily has no problem coming nose to nose with her brother, Stanley. His cynicism and obnoxious attitude irritate the hell out of her so they both get confrontational, until I step in to settle the bullshit.

Em lives with my mother, Alma, in her two-family house in Brooklyn where the crooner, Vic Damone was from. My mother, Alma, is a sweetheart with a strong personality. I’d like to see her more often, but if Emily doesn’t make a visit, my mother is at the mercy of my wiseass Uncle Rocco, who hates to drive out, because I called him an inconsiderate prick.

It all sounds like a modern-day Greek Tragedy— I assure you, it is.

Except we’re not Greek. We’re Italian. A bunch of hard working goombahs.

Let me tell you why the family dinners are never boring.

They would call me to join them for dinner while I relaxed on the couch with my dog. I always delayed going in because I was amused overhearing their ludicrous gossip.

Everyone would sit around the table digging into their chicken dinner when Stanley starts bellyaching about the next-door neighbor, Did you see Charlie Andrews pulling into his driveway with that new Lexus? How the hell can he afford…

Stop the bullshit, brother, Emily cries out. He’s got two jobs and treats his family with a few luxuries. Why don’t you try it sometime?

Ursula spices up the gossip, I think the mailman is screwing Sylvia. She’s a widow and lives alone. I watch when he delivers the mail, but he doesn’t put it in the mailbox.

Kate lets out a giggle and says, Where does he put it, Ursula?

He knocks on the door, and she lets him in.

I had to laugh to myself how wacky they all are, but they’re my family and I’m stuck with them.

Their favorite subject would finally surface after dessert. It was about me, the card-playing boozer. They were suspicious about where I was going when I took my buddy, Clyde, out for a walk. He’s the best hound in the world and follows me everywhere because no one else pays much attention to him. It’s always funny to let him out in the yard chasing his squeaky ball. They still protest my having Clyde for a pet. But I’m the only one he loves, because I’m the only one who fills his water dish and adds food to his bowl. And when I take him for a walk in the park, and have him run after his favorite toy, he comes back to me and gives me a lick.

So, when I would come back from my walk a bit late, they’d interrogate me about where I had been.

But not this time.

This time, they sat around the table grieving instead of complaining.

It was at the moment when they yelled at me, Ray! Get off the couch. That was my first clue that something was off.

My family didn’t know it was me. They thought they were yelling at Clyde.

Tale 2

On the day it all came to an end, I had left the garage early. I had one truck on the road with Emilio and Sanchez. My other truck came back from the Bronx early for a Friday. I sent the drivers home. While my secretary Isabelle had to finish some paperwork, I waited for Emilio and Sanchez.

So, I thought, as long as I had a break from work, I would go home, clean up, and take Kate out to dinner.

But that was wishful thinking.

When I drove up the driveway, I saw—and heard— my son, Stanley, and his wife, Ursula, engaging in a loud family squabble, and Kate was in the middle of it.

It seems their little Erica was staying with her friend and now she