Sidelines and Roses

By Andrea Baschkevsky

In her book "Sidelines & Roses" Andrea Baschkevsky explores what happens when a relationship that is supposed to be simple turns into much more, without those involved even noticing.

 

What to do when your feelings take over and you don't know how to break the wall between what you want and what can be?

 

Contains sensual themes of domination, lots of unprotected explicit acts. 18+ adults only.

• Language: English
• Publisher: INEMETOPUT
• Release date: Aug 7, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223493075

Andrea Baschkevsky

I grew up in a small country, at a time when it was hit hardest by wars and ongoing economic crash. Like many other people of my age, we were basically stopped in tracks. We didn't get to grow up and mature in every way like normal teenagers would do – instead, we turned on "survival" mode and escaped from reality. Instead of doing all the things teenagers were supposed to do, I was buried in work and studies in order to help my family, and I had never had any time for myself. When the time came to experience sex, I tried it because I wanted to see what all the fuss about it was. But I didn't feel the neediness or had the sexual drive. Sex for me, at that time, was a necessary "evil" to stay in relationship. Don't have to say that I didn't really enjoy it. Also, I knew nothing about it nor wanted to learn about my sexuality. Only when I met my husband, I finally figured out who am I sexually, what turns me on, what I like and what brings me to multiple orgasms. He is, I believe, the most patient person, especially as it took me a good 10+ years to step out of boundaries, implemented moral limits by my parents, and finally to mature sexually. Now I know what I want, how I want it, how to enjoy it and to give pleasure. I even started fantasizing about it. I learned something about myself that I categorically denied just a few years ago. I was finally free. I also learned that I feel excited or even freed when I put some of my fantasies on paper. And after a while, I realized that I would like to share them with other people. That is how my stories were born. I sincerely hope that you will enjoy reading them as much as I enjoyed writing them. With love, A.

Book preview

Where to begin?

As I am laying wrapped up in a blanket, trying to watch a movie on the tv, I am also doing my best to force myself not to think of where I am or how I got here. I have never felt pain such as this, to the degree that I think that every bone in my body physically hurts. I know it is stupid, but that is what I feel like. And I can’t watch that stupid thing. There are no happy endings in life.

Come to think of it, everything began on that cursed night in May, almost a year ago. Spring is my favorite season, and I love it because the grayness is gone, the air seems different with all the greenery and flower scents in it, and that is when I enjoy walks in nature the most. But last May I had to study, so the only thing I could have done was to take short walks, and then go back to the book and the exam that was waiting for me.

After four years of constant studying and part-time jobs, because the bills have to be paid, I finally had that one exam left, then the graduation and I would become Bachelorette of Design. I remember it was Friday when I was finally done with it and when I left the university premises I wanted to jump, yell, and I don’t even know what I wanted to do, that is how happy I was. It felt so good.

And I managed with minimal outside help. I didn’t let my parents to give me a dime, because I firmly believed that, if I was to become independent at 18, I would live and work as an adult. What use of it if they are paying for everything. They didn’t really agree with my idea, but we found middle ground – they moved to the house we own on the outskirts of the city, and left me the one I grew up in, near the center of Belgrade – they gave it to me as a gift, so all the bills were in my name. And that was the best thing they could have done for me.

Back to the problem at hand. That Friday, on the way home, I called Olivera, to this day, my very best and closest friend, and asked her to go out with me and celebrate the following evening – so I would have enough time to get some rest first. And Olja invited several more girls to join us; the more, the merrier.

When I came home, after I ate and took a shower, I went to bed just for a nap. Nap turned into a deep sleep until the morning, but at least I felt rested, as I haven’t in a long time. I took my time with getting ready, then went to my folks for a visit.

Look who is here!

Svetlana, my mother, is always happy when I visit as if she has not seen me for a long time, although I come almost every weekend – the exceptions were only before the exams.

She is a slender woman in early sixties, with long gray hair that she always wears in a bun. I often tease her that she should just cut and dye it, but the response is always the same: You have hair, cut it and dye as much as you like, leave mine alone. Her green eyes always seem to shine with pride and love – and sometimes we don’t even need words – her look is more than enough.

Hurry up, Mlađa, our baby girl is here! she yelled, as she always does, whenever she calls dad. Regardless if the man is outside or in the next room, she will yell and one could think a lot of things, except her voice is so full of love that it makes the whole thing really sweet. What the two of them have is something, I think, anyone would wish for.

I am coming, Ceca! Hey, honey, we missed you! dad said as he came down the stairs and grabbed me into my favorite hug.

My father is a couple of years older than my mom. His hair got white with years and his belly became quite big, and even though mom and I keep reminding him that he has to lose a bit of weight, he always says no, explaining that he is no longer a twenty-year-old boy.

During the lunch we talked about everything, as usual, and then I told them I will embark on my long-planned journey to visit Greece the following week – I saved some money and I accepted their offer to chip in, as they insisted. I decided to spend a month on the seaside. I haven’t been anywhere for years, I either worked or studied, and I wanted to charge my batteries before I enter the new chapter of my life, called working from 9 to 5, or rather, an adult life.

My mom, as always, could not resist asking me if I decided who I would go with. Basically, she wanted to know if I was in a relationship. It had never mattered to her if it is a boy or a girl; they had always known that I am bi, maybe even before I figured it out myself.

Maybe with Olja or Jeca, I am not sure yet. I will see them tonight and then we will make arrangements. Although, if none of them is available, I will go alone. I am not a child, I answered with a smile, and I could see that she wanted to say something, but she didn’t, as she always respected my decisions.

Ceca, leave the poor child alone. Lena, honey, if you want to go alone, you do that. And I will handle mom, don’t you worry, dad was on my side, as always, regardless of what it was about.

Mom has always been more or less worried that I would end up alone, as I never talked to them about a boyfriend, or a girlfriend, for that matter. She believes that I hide them out of fear of judgment, but I am not. I have always known that they don’t care who I am with, as long as that person makes me happy.

My mom’s questions were there more to let me know that it is ok to have someone, but what they didn’t know was that there was someone, a few years ago, but it ended as it didn’t work out – he wanted more. Explaining that kind of relationship and my decision to focus on studies and put everything else aside would have been too difficult for me, so it was much easier to endure her questions and keep quiet.

When I think more about it, I don’t remember ever having a fight with them. They had never yelled at me, nor I at them, not even when I was in the craziest teenagers’ years. I remember, when I first kissed a girl, I talked to dad, then to mom. Both talked to me normally, as if I told them that I saw grass growing. And I am thankful for it.

The same way, when the day came for them to tell me that I was adopted, somehow everything went normal, at least as I remember it. There was no yelling, drama, tears, nothing you could see in the movies, but what was going through my mind only I know. They asked me if I wanted to meet my biological parents, to which my answer was a ‘no’. After all, because they didn’t want me, whatever the reason, I have the best parents in the world – Ceca and Mlađa.

And so, as we talked about the sea and what I wanted to visit, accompanied by mom’s delicious cookies, time flew by. I had to head back, if I wanted to get ready in time for my first going out in who knows how long. As usual, mom packed two full bags of food, with the excuse that I should use the time to finally have fun and not to think about cooking. As I intended to get drunk, and I knew I would be hungover the following day, I didn’t complain.

The night out

Fresh out of shower , I looked at my wardrobe and decided to wear a short black dress, a little bit open in the chest area; I like the way it sways when I move, it is comfortable to wear and it fits me almost perfectly. Not to mention I feel sexy wearing it. Black sandals to accompany, hair loose, just a little bit of makeup and I was ready to go.

I met with Olja and the girls in front of the club we agreed to go to that night. Olja is a beautiful girl – long black hair, green eyes, body to kill for. Similar height as me, but none of us short, we were almost like two sides of the same coin. Except that I have long blond hair. Back, during the second year at the university, when I first met her, we had a bit of a fun with each other but it turned into a lifelong friendship. That night we even wore matching outfits and I remember thinking how fun that night would be.

The club was full, there was very little room to move anywhere, let alone dance. But we didn’t care and we hit the floor almost momentarily. I felt so good dancing, I missed the feeling it gave, one that I love. And now that I didn’t have a single worry on my mind, I decided I would have the best fucking night of my life. If I only knew...

We danced and drank, not paying attention to anyone. Then a guy approached me during one of the songs.

May I join?

He was handsome, even though he was a bit skinny and average looking – plus blond guys are not my type, but for a dance he was more than good. As we danced, he tried a couple of times to pull me closer. I was a bit tipsy but I pushed him away every time – dancing was ok, but I wanted nothing more.

Hey, how about we go somewhere quiet? he yelled in my ear over the music.

You aren’t getting any tonight, buddy. But it was nice dancing with you, I yelled back and danced away from him.

One thing I had never lacked was confidence. I knew I was good looking. Blond hair combined with green eyes, thin waist and my body shaped just the way I wanted – I exercised every day; I knew I was attractive. But that night, I wanted to make up for years of studying, pressure and zero fun. I wasn’t looking for a boyfriend or anything of the sort. I went with Olja for another round of drinks and we continued our little celebration.

As the night went on, I started dancing with a girl. As we danced, I noticed a guy, standing not far from the dance floor, watching me. Or it seemed so. Under the club lights he seemed tall, with short dark hair and eyes; dark jeans and a white t-shirt, not too tight, but it showed off his nice, sculpted body – he was definitely attractive. Our eyes locked for a moment; his gaze was so intent that my belly muscles clenched.

I turned my eyes away from him to the girl I was dancing with; we danced intensively and started caressing each other a bit. It seemed to me that my night might even have an interesting ending, after all. As we continued our little play on the dance floor, I couldn’t help but discreetly look for him – he was still standing where I first saw him, watching me. It seemed that he rather enjoyed what he saw – I know I did. Again, I turned my attention back to the girl, hoping he didn’t notice me watching him. After a bit, for some inexplicable reason, I looked again, but he wasn’t there anymore.

Suddenly, someone was behind me; I turned around ready to send whoever it was on their marry way, when I saw it was him. He looked even better up-close; without saying a word, he joined me for the dance. He just gestured at the girl I was dancing with and she was gone. He was different from what I was used to – all of this was unusual and new and I liked it. I was a bit aroused from dancing with her, and this, now, felt good. Although I wasn’t sure if it was alcohol that helped me feel that way.

As the music changed, he gently grabbed me by the hips, pulled me closer, leading me to grind against him. The song that played got me in the mood and I lifted my hands to go around his neck as we danced. I could feel his breath on my neck and it intensified the feeling growing inside me even more, causing me to grind harder, following the rhythm of the song, as if only there were the two of us on the dance floor.

We danced for a while, when, instead of his breath, I felt him nuzzling my neck with his lips. I usually never let anyone get that close, but there was something