The Chameleon: Life-Changing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has a Personality or Knows Someone Who Does

By Merrick Rosenberg

Imagine what it would be like to understand the actions and motivations of others - and to know how to apply such knowledge to be a better spouse or parent and a more effective leader, teacher, coach, or salesperson. The Chameleon by Merrick Rosenberg is enjoyable and transformative as it helps readers gain deeper self-awareness, maximize personal strengths, and strengthen relationships. The Chameleon contains 22 fables based on the four personality types as represented by an Eagle, Parrot, Dove, and Owl. Guided by an all-knowing chameleon, the characters help readers gain meaningful insights into understanding themselves and others. The Introduction fable provides an overview of the four personality styles. The remaining fables chronicle the bird's interactions over a one-year period. Each fable is followed by a "Chameleon Wisdom" section that expands on the fable's lessons and provides practical applications of the story's moral. These deeper insights include examples of how to employ the styles to increase effectiveness at work, deepen personal relationships, parent with compassion, and generally live a more fulfilling life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Take Flight Learning
• Release date: Aug 4, 2023
• ISBN: 9780996411028

Book preview

The Chameleon

Life-Changing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has a Personality or Knows Someone Who Does

The Chameleon:

Life-Changing Wisdom for Anyone Who Has a Personality or Knows Someone Who Does

By Merrick Rosenberg

www.TakeFlightLearning.com

Take Flight Learning

TakeFlightLearning.com

[e-mail]

Copyright © 2017 by Take Flight Media

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recordings, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of a brief quotation in a review.

Second Edition 2017

ISBN-13: 9780996411028

Library of Congress Control Number: 2015957242

Dedication

To my parents, Barbara and Howard Rosenberg,

I am who I am because of you.

Thanks for believing.

To my wife, Traci, you fill my world with light.

Thank you for making my life an incredible adventure.

To my children, Gavin and Ben,

you make me smile every day.

Thanks for being you.

And if you are wondering if there are parts of this book

specifically about you … yes, there are.

Thanks for the inspiration.

Acknowledgments

Iwant thank all those who made this book possible. I am indebted to the support and insight you shared so willingly.

I am deeply grateful to be surrounded by such an amazing team of committed and hardworking individuals. To Jeff Backal, thanks for joining me on this journey—but get ready, because we’ve still got a long way to go.

To those who tirelessly introduce the birds to people all around the world, specifically, Andy Kraus, Rick Kauffman, and Jessica Nicols, you lead the way in making a difference in so many lives.

To Dolores Woodington, Cathryn Plum, Elanna Albanese, Nathan Davis, and Laura Williams, thank you for everything you do. This parrot would be lost without you.

To Kerry Bayles, Heather Hafner, and Valerie Vincent, it warms my heart to see the joy, laughter and transformation you bring to everyone you encounter on your travels.

I also want to thank all of those who provided feedback throughout the writing process, including Traci Rosenberg, Aaren Perry, Laura Robinson and Darah Backal.

To Matthew and Joan Greenblatt at CenterPointeMedia, thank you for your wisdom and focused attention to detail in bringing this book to life. I also want to thank Nesta Aharoni and Terrin Irwin for your gift of words and Michael Clarida for illustrating the characters into existence.

Finally, I want express my appreciation to all of the Certified Affiliates and Certified Trainers of Take Flight Learning. Your work sends ripples of positive energy and growth throughout the planet.

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Introduction: The Journey Begins

Spring

The New Addition

The Sparrow’s Nest

The Spinning Wind

The Crystal Cave

Hatching Day Surprise

Summer

A Trip to the Beach

The Speech

The Lost Bird Department

The Forbidden Swamp

Summer Festival

Fall

Spontaneity Day

Squirrel!

Observation Week

Flight of the Groundhog

The Storm of all Storms

Winter

Mudslide

Winter Camp

The Northern Squirrels

Lost in Translation

The Magic Rock

Epilogue: The Journey Home

Your Journey Begins

About the Author

Foreword

Ifirst encountered the DISC styles concept in 1974 while working on my PhD dissertation at Georgia State University. It was also the first time I taught it to a corporate group in Atlanta. I couldn’t believe how the eyes of the audience lit up as they discovered the value and applicability of the four DISC styles. And here I am some 43+ years later with audiences still excited about the concept and what it means to their own self-enlightenment and improved interpersonal relationships. In 1974, I didn’t know that I would travel more than 12 million miles worldwide and write more than 30 books to spread the word about DISC’s universal wisdom.

The DISC styles have enriched my life immeasurably. I’ve learned how to treat others how they want to be treated, not how I want to be treated. Without DISC, I would have missed some of the best experiences of my life and hurt meaningful relationships. DISC has been a guide through the interpersonal moments that matter most.

When I met Merrick Rosenberg, I sensed a kindred spirit. We were both living the same mission on opposite sides of the country—me in California and Merrick in New Jersey, my old stomping ground where I graduated high school. I saw the same fire burning in him that was ignited in me all those years ago at Georgia State. It was clear that Merrick was living his life’s purpose by sharing the DISC styles with the world.

Merrick’s approach was fresh and different. Rather than using letters or descriptive words to identify the styles, he linked them to four birds. I could see how the visual nature of the eagles, parrots, doves and owls would make them much easier to remember and explain to others than just the four DISC letters.

But it wasn’t just the birds that made Merrick’s approach game-changing. Today, people want information mixed with entertainment, and Merrick grasped the power of teaching the styles through fables. He is a natural-born storyteller, and his fables go beyond mere explanation. He creates a landscape and immerses readers smack dab in the middle of the action.

In The Chameleon, Merrick skillfully depicts the challenges that stand in the way of happiness and success. The interactions between the birds are at once humorous and enlightening. In one fable, he deftly demonstrates how men and women perceive the DISC styles differently. In another, he shows what happens when opposites attract. Through it all, we learn to perceive the impact of our actions on others.

I am particularly excited about this second edition of The Chameleon. I appreciate how Merrick expanded on how to Be the Chameleon in one’s daily life. Whether you are familiar with the DISC styles or encountering them for the first time, these fables and the accompanying chameleon wisdom will enrich your life. From your connection with your family to how you act in the workplace, The Chameleon can lead you to greater joy and well-being.

I hope you enjoy The Chameleon as much as I did, and may its learning reach deeply into your life.

Dr. Tony Alessandra, author of The Platinum Rule® and Hall-of-Fame Keynote Speaker

Preface

Prior to 1994 I thought I understood people. And why wouldn’t I? I had earned an MBA specializing in organizational behavior. I had started one of the first team building companies in the United States, and it was thriving. Each day I taught people about teamwork, trust, communication, and leadership. Of course I understood people.

Then I discovered the DISC model, which described four personality styles that provided a framework for understanding behavior. Through this model I gained deep insight into my own needs, desires, motivators, and fears. I learned how to read people and proactively anticipate their needs. And the more I practiced applying these insights, the more I felt as if I had been living in the dark.

As I developed a new understanding of myself and others, a bright light began to shine on me and everyone else I knew. I never could have imagined something so simple could be so powerful.

For the next fifteen years, I traveled the world helping individuals increase their self-awareness and apply the wisdom of the styles. I watched people improve their relationships, increase their effectiveness at work, enhance their careers, and become better parents and partners. I was living my life’s purpose. What more could I ask for?

Then I started to notice a pattern. While I felt gratified when attendees at my sessions shared how much they enjoyed my presentations, many of them added a question afterward that went something like this: I think I’m a D. Which one is that again? Or, If I recall correctly, I’m an S. What does that stand for?

I became deflated. How could this be? I was spending my days illuminating people’s lives with the DISC styles, and the recipients weren’t remembering the most basic lessons from those sessions. This revelation cast a shadow of doubt on the value of the training I was providing.

After one such encounter, I sat down to continue writing my new book about the DISC styles. I was excited to be halfway done, even though my enthusiasm had become tempered by an inner voice questioning the effectiveness of the four letters. That was the day I opened myself to the possibility that there must be a better way.

In a mere moment the idea of using four birds revealed itself to me. Perhaps my own parrot, Merlin, worked his magic by appearing in my mind’s eye and enthusiastically symbolizing the Interactive I-style. That’s interesting, I thought. I bet a parrot representing the I-style would be easier for people to remember.

Almost immediately an eagle confidently stepped forward to represent the perfect symbol of the Dominant D-style. Moments later, an owl logically showed himself to be the ideal Conscientious C. Next arrived a dove, who humbly offered to depict the Supportive S. And so it was. The birds were born.

I began introducing the birds into my training programs and speaking events, and I was astounded by the positive reception they received. In nearly every session, someone told me about their previous training and how they had forgotten everything afterwards. But the birds, they said, made the styles easier to remember and apply. During fifteen years as a trainer and speaker, I had been using four letters that provided only a fleeting fascination. The birds, however, were creating lasting change.

As an increasing number of people began sharing stories of the birds’ impact, I could not help but wonder what made them so special. At first, I chalked it up to our common impression of each bird’s nature, which made them memorable. An owl, for example, instantly conjures up images of logic and precision, making the C-style easy to recall.

But it was more than that. Soon I recognized that people’s memory challenges had been rooted in the letters themselves. When the words Dominant, Interactive, Supportive, and Conscientious were shortened to D, I, S, and C, they were stripped of their meaning, which made them harder to remember. Unlike the image of an eagle, the letter D meant nothing and, therefore, had no sticking power. The D-I-S-C letters, quite simply, were not brain-friendly.

Applying new insights requires remembering those insights. The birds provide mental models that do just that. In contrast to the DISC acronym, the birds are mnemonic devices or memory aids. Just like Every Good Boy Does Fine helps budding musicians remember the lines of the treble clef, the four birds help people remember the four personality styles.

Now, when I meet people long after they have attended a session that incorporated the bird styles, I regularly hear statements such as, I am a dove or I am a parrot with a little bit of eagle. Those pronouncements are often followed by stories about how the styles are playing out in their lives.

When the birds flew into my world, the trajectory of my life changed. I shelved the book in progress about the four letter styles and, instead, coauthored Taking Flight! with Daniel Silvert. In that book, the first to include the birds, we taught people about the styles and how to use them in daily interactions … and how to remember them!

In The Chameleon, I take that knowledge and application to the next level. While the characters in the book are birds and chameleons, the content is about you and everyone you know. Does the owl represent your boss? The dove your spouse or parent? Perhaps the parrot is a coworker and the eagle one of your children.

Before we begin this journey, let’s review some foundational principles of style. To begin with, each one of us is a combination of all four styles. Nobody is just an eagle, parrot, dove, or owl. We all have a bit of each style within us, and, if we incorporate some flexibility, we can display any of the behaviors … despite our natural style.

There are no good or bad styles. Each has its own strengths and challenges. And two people who share the same style may display that style to varying degrees.

One person may be a pygmy owl, displaying slight tendencies of the owl style. Another may be the great horned owl, strongly exemplifying owl behaviors in just about everything they do.

We all get caught up in the drama of our life stories, just as the birds get caught up in theirs. Take a page out of this book and become the chameleon. Flexibly adapt to the people you encounter and the situations that unfold around you. As you read each fable, mindfully look inside yourself and consider how the lessons presented apply in your life.

It’s time to tap into the wisdom of The Chameleon!

Introduction

The Journey Begins

As the sun rose over the Great Lake, Xenia gazed at the dawn of a new era. She adjusted her chameleon skin to match the crimson dawn and then harmonized her coloring with the morning sky as it migrated from orange, gold, and yellow and to soothing daylight blue.

Chameleons have an innate wisdom that allows them to connect to the world and to those around them. Xenia was no exception. She instinctively understood how to handle life’s situations with grace and ease. Her intuition, coupled with insight passed down by her father, enabled her to ask the right question at the right moment, and to inspire profound transformation.

Xenia considered herself fortunate to be the daughter of Xavier, a wise and generous master chameleon. She had spent many days shadowing him in the forest, believing he knew nothing of her presence. In retrospect, she now understood that he knew everything of her presence. From a young age, Xavier had taught her to live her life lessons responsibly and to share them with others. Clearly, it was Xenia’s duty to pass on her wisdom to the next generation of chameleons as well as to all of the other animals dwelling in the forest she called Home.

Today, Xenia was taking her newest chameleon student, Xander, on his first walk through Home. In time, she would introduce him to the forest’s many residents and teach him to sing the song of the birds. She would open his heart to what she had learned when she was young and inexperienced. One day, her student would travel throughout the land and share his lessons—and so the cycle would continue.

Despite her student’s young age, Xenia would not treat him as a child. Instead, she would offer him respect and speak to him as if she were awakening a deep knowledge that was sleeping inside him.

Xander arrived early, eager to begin the day, and Xenia did not waste any time. She began, Everything in life is connected. When one element of the world falls out of balance, waves of discontent ripple throughout the land. I will teach you to anticipate and navigate those ripples. You will learn to appear at the moment you are needed and to nudge life back into balance. You will experience oneness with the forest and all who live here. One day, you will teach those who come after you.

Xenia smiled as she recognized that her words resonated deeply with her student. In his short life, Xander had seen great unease circulate among the creatures of Home, and he wanted to play his part in drawing the forest residents together again.

The teacher continued. For a while, you will travel with me and observe what I do and how I do it. You will remain unseen at all times and will not reveal yourself unless I announce your presence. Even then, you will remain silent unless a question is directly asked of you. Understood?

Understood, the young chameleon affirmed.

It’s time to expand your world in every way, Xenia proclaimed. To begin, here’s a map of the forest. In order to help others find their way, you must first be able to find your own.

Xander reached out to take the map and nodded gratefully.

Today we will practice the art of invisibility, Xenia said.

I’m ready, replied Xander with a twinge of excitement. He was elated that a living legend had taken him under her wing.

The pair walked in silence, shifting their coloring to match the varying terrain that evolved beneath them. They walked past bashful blossoms, bulky boulders, and towering pines.

After smoothly crossing a gentle stream, they came upon a family of white doves. Xenia placed a single finger over her mouth, indicating to Xander that they were to stop and observe in silence. The chameleons watched the considerate doves prepare their morning meal and share their bounty with friends. They listened to interested doves ask each other questions about the upcoming day. They noticed supportive doves help a companion who was dealing with a challenging situation. The birds’ warm tones and gentle demeanors prompted Xander to smile.

After a few minutes of observation, Xenia advanced Xander onward. What did you feel emanating from the doves? Xenia asked her new student.

Xander replied, Kindness and gentleness. I liked the way they listened to each other. They genuinely care about everyone else’s feelings and about the events occurring in each others’ lives.

Very perceptive, replied the teacher. What do you draw from that?

Xander glanced once more at the doves and added, That they are supportive and cooperative, and that they are calm.

Right again, young sir, Xenia confirmed. Doves are generally soft spoken and patient. They embody harmony and compassion.

As the chameleons continued on, they transformed from the emerald-olive shades of the vibrant ground cover to the earthy, rich tones of the unassuming stones and twigs. They continued to walk until Xenia spotted a pair of owls nestled in a maple tree. They were planning their day’s activities. The observers settled in silence a short distance away.

We can’t get too close to the owls, Xenia advised. Everything about them is sharp and accurate, including their powers of observation. If we get too close, they will notice us and change their behavior. Let’s watch from here.

The owls were busy organizing their belongings and returning various items to their designated places. While one of the owls talked about a problem he was having, the other asked him question after question. The detailed answers and discussions that followed led both owls to explore a series of alternative solutions and then choose a course of action.

After a few minutes, Xenia asked her protégé,