Diminished By One: John Egbers, the Trans Am Bike Race and a Place Like Kansas

By Heath Ryan

On June 14, 2018, when almost at the halfway mark of the 4,208-mile Trans Am Bike Race from Oregon to Virginia, Minnesotan cyclist John Egbers was struck from behind, in broad daylight, by a car driven by Mr Angel Labra. The weather that day was clear, and the road was straight and dry. Three weeks later, John's heart stopped beating.

Mr

• Language: English
• Publisher: Black Knight Books
• Release date: Jul 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9780734622181

Heath Ryan

Heath Ryan is a publisher and writer, and holds a BA in Economics and History from the University of Toronto. Born in Canada, Heath lived in Jordan, France and the United Kingdom before moving to Australia. In addition to being a father, Heath is also an ultra-endurance cyclist. Riding as 'The Dark Knight', he was in twentieth position in the 2017 Indian Pacific Wheel Race from Fremantle to Sydney on the day Mike Hall was killed. Since then, Heath completed three transcontinental races in the 2018 calendar year, achieving what can be called the triple crown of unsupported ultra-endurance cycling. Heath's current focus is investigative books dealing with social justice, books that celebrate human achievement, and books and articles that observe and comment on behaviour and society.

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Preface

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend’s or of thine own were: any man’s death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bells tolls; it tolls for thee.

— John Donne

When John Egbers wrote WE ARE ALL DIMINISHED BY ONE at Eric Fishbein’s memorial east of Leoti, Kansas on June 14 at 4:55 pm – just 20 minutes before John too was struck from behind – he may have been paraphrasing John Donne, an English poet and scholar born in London, England in 1572, or he may have coined this phrase himself. Regardless, it captures the generosity of John Egbers and the essence of the ultra-endurance cycling community and it is a fitting title for this book.

I first met John Egbers in Portland, Oregon when he gave the safety briefing before a few of us rode from Portland to Astoria two days before the start of the 2018 Trans Am Bike Race. Later that day I shared a laugh with him and jokingly called him fucking old. He later texted his wife, Susan, sharing the story of how an Ozzie had called him fucking old. A few days later John was hit from behind by a distracted driver, and on July 5 he died of his injuries.

Fast forward to April 13, 2019 when I contacted Susan because I was researching the circumstances of Mike Hall’s death, as he too had been struck from behind and killed by a distracted driver:³

Hi. Heath Ryan here. I just saw your post with a picture of John. I met him on last year’s race and was very saddened to hear what happened and how there was so little done by law enforcement and the Kansas County Attorney after John tragically died. I am so sorry for your loss; I’m sure it still hurts.

I sometimes write posts and articles for Cycle (cycle.org.au) in Australia. I’ve covered the Mike Hall Inquest extensively and have had communication with Patricia Hall. If it’s okay, I’d like to share your post with Cycle’s 20,000 Facebook followers as an example of your proactive work for road safety. But I don’t yet have all the facts. Could you write a short summary for me?

Susan got back to me the next day, inundating me with documentation. It was obvious to me that John’s story was worthy of its own book. So, when I offered to write up John’s story, her response was immediate:

Thank you for asking for John’s story. My goal is to share it as far and wide as possible. So many cyclists have been hit and killed with no charges filed against the drivers. I thought John’s crash was so obviously the driver’s fault that charges would be filed immediately against the driver. But that never happened. In fact, the way my family and I were treated by County Attorney Laura Lewis was unbelievable.

On June 14, John was almost halfway through the race when his dot stopped moving. A deputy called me on John’s cell phone to inform me he’d been hit. I was at first relieved to learn John was alive and only had broken bones that I knew would heal. He was taken by ambulance to hospital and then transported by medical helicopter to a level 1 trauma center in Wichita, Kansas. I organized to fly there on the next flight, and was sickened to learn John was paralyzed from the chest down. This was the worst news. The doctors could not say whether he would ever walk again.

Ultimately, John’s injuries were so severe he was unable to recover. Everything went wrong, from pneumonia to infections, until he went into full cardiac arrest on July 5 and died in front of me and our daughter Kelly. One of the saddest things was that he’d had a tracheotomy and was unable to speak. Robbed of both his body and his speech, John died without being able to express his final wishes or say his goodbyes.

In the mist of our grief, my children and I waited for Wichita County Attorney Laura Lewis to file charges against the driver. While we were still in Kansas she had promised to let us know her decision as soon as she reviewed the report from the State troopers. But we never heard from her.

Heath, in the crash report the driver clearly stated he was looking at the fields. Highway 96 in Kansas is long and straight; you can see for miles. There was no excuse for the driver not seeing John. We all need to use our voices, loud and clear, to help bring about change.

Thank you, again, for offering to write John’s story. I will send you photos of John in the hospital. These, too, need to be published because people need to see what happens when distracted drivers hit cyclists.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are so kind. The book you are writing is a blessing in this sad story. Without it, John would just be forgotten.

Susan Egbers

At first I wrestled with how to tell John’s story. In the end I decided to recount the part of John’s story that occurred during the race from my perspective, while for the rest I would use other racers, John’s friends, and his wife and children as the sources. But that made me realise that I not only had to tell John’s story, I also had to tell the stories of the other two cyclists hit from behind in Kansas during that year’s race: Ash Sharp and T.C. Cheng.⁴ Thus Ash and T.C. appear both throughout as well as in detail near the end of the book. And while I haven’t documented the full extent of their suffering, in no way do I mean to diminish the impact their respective crashes have had on their lives, on their family and friends, and on the wider endurance cycling community.

It is my hope that Diminished By One: John Egbers, the Trans Am Bike Race and a Place Like Kansas helps highlight what John’s premature death has cost his family, his friends and thousands of cyclists, fans and dot watchers. I also hope that the telling of John’s story can help his family move forward with their lives, knowing that the story has been told and that his death was not in vain.

Ultimately, I hope Diminished By One will help the reader:

▪understand why cyclists like John Egbers love the Trans Am Bike Race;

▪appreciate the depth and strength of the ultra-endurance cycling community;

▪realize how the selfish actions of distracted drivers can have devastating impacts on so many;

▪better comprehend that, when authorities fail to consistently apply the law, this reinforces and encourages dangerous driving behavior; and

▪envision how we can work together in our own communities to bring about real, positive change.

On July 5, 2018 we lost a friend. Now, John, we are all diminished by two.

Heath Ryan

June 2022

Prologue

Sharing our stories can also be a means of healing. Grief and loss may isolate us, and anger may alienate us. Shared with others, these emotions can be powerfully uniting, as we see that we are not alone, and realize that others weep with us.

— Susan Wittig Albert, American writer and NYT bestselling author

A Caring Bridge website is a personal health journal that helps friends and family rally together online during any type of health journey. Family friend Melissa Brill set up John’s Caring Bridge page. She was effectively Susan’s administrative assistant. Susan would send her updates and she would post them on John’s page. All Susan had to do was reply to any messages of support. Some days she sent so many replies that her phone would get hot. Selected posts and loving messages of support are reproduced below.

16 June 2018

No change from yesterday. John is still intubated but breathing on his own. The machine is still hooked up just in case. If he stops breathing, it will kick in.

John can respond to my commands and today he knows I am here. He has difficulty squeezing his hands and doesn’t feel anything in his legs. This is expected because of the swelling following the surgery on his spinal cord. He knows I am here and can nod ‘yes’ and ‘no’. I think he understands his condition, which is really sad for him, but he is being sedated and is resting.

I will deal with the emotional issues of this crash when that time comes. He will be as overwhelmed as I am by all the support.

— Susan Egbers

You don’t know me but I am Mike Hall’s mum. Mike was part of the documentary Inspired to Ride, and won the inaugural Trans Am Bike Race. I just wanted to let you know you are constantly in my thoughts and prayers, as I understand a little of what you must be going through. The cycling family is a wonderful support network, and will help and support you in the coming days and weeks as John gets stronger. Reach out to us any time of the day or night. You are never alone. Everyone is here for you.

— Patricia Hall, July 6, 2018

18 June 2018

It was a big day for John. A lot has happened. He passed the ‘leak’ test and got off the breathing machine. His first words were I want water. We tried letting him drink water, but he was not swallowing well so we tried ice chips. After he chomped the first piece of ice, that too caused coughing problems. John tries really hard to cough out the junk, but he just can’t do it. So out comes the suction. He is quite demanding and in control of his care. He asks for suction when he needs it – even telling us to shove the suction deeper.

He is aware that he is really f’ed up and that it sucks ass (his words). He asked to us to read the messages from everyone, including his cell phone messages. The race is still on his mind, and he will ask about various riders. It broke my heart when he told the nurse that this was the second Trans Am he didn’t finish.

Today was pretty hard because we had to face the reality of his injuries with him for the first time. John is a very smart man – he knows that he cannot move his legs and he knows what that means. His arm movement is okay, but his breathing is not like it used to be and he is struggling to get used to it. When the mask is on, we can’t understand what he is saying, so we hate it – but if it makes him comfortable, we will deal with it.

Our daughter Kelly has been here for two days, and our son Jonathan arrives tomorrow. Our eldest daughter Sarah and John’s mother will visit next. I want you all to know he is asking about you, and I am trying to find all the well wishes to read to him. There are so many messages of concern from all corners of the world. Thank you all!

— Susan Egbers

We appreciate the updates, Susan. John is part of a community of bikers, he is part of all of us. He’s an athlete and know he will continue to work through this ‘next race’ a day at a time. We support you and think of you all the time! Thinking of you and your family. This is from Pam and Daryl. Stay strong!

— Pam Stevens, June 18, 2018

Hi John – My husband Doug and I are Trans Am fans and we were so very sorry to hear about your situation. (Doug used to race in Race Across Oregon.) We live in Dallas, Oregon, which you passed through just after you left the coast range and headed south on Hwy 99. We love following all the riders and feel like we get to know you through your dots.

We are thinking about you and have all good thoughts going your way. Sincerely, Karen Moynahan and Doug Marshall

— Karen Moynahan, June 18, 2018

19 June 2018

Oh what a day! I stayed late last night in John’s room. We had a few hours of quiet and private time to talk. Yes talk! Although it’s difficult for him, he used all his strength to share his thoughts, worries and needs with me.

Currently his biggest demand is ice cream, but ice chips are all I am allowed to give him. His is at risk of aspirating if he is given anything else – which would not be good. The doctors made their rounds as usual today. He bravely asked if he was paralyzed forever. There is no real answer for that right now. He was told everyone heals differently; with time and rehabilitation we will know the ‘forever’ outcome. He stated, I feel I am going to recover. He said he knows it will be hard work.

The next step is to repair his broken left leg. He told the surgeon, I want it fixed right because I am going to ride my bike again. After he heals from the leg repair surgery, off we go to a spinal cord injury rehabilitation center near Denver, Colorado.

He asked about all of you last night. He specifically asked me to open up the TABR website so he could see the dots. He wanted to know who was where on the trail. I also read him the whole list of GoFundMe donors, and he would tell me who some of the people are whose names I didn’t recognize. We are forever grateful to all those who donated – it eases John’s mind to know he is not causing a financial burden on his family.

There is strength in numbers, and we have a huge number of supporters!

Susan Egbers

I am a cyclist, did Trans Am in 1974 (recon ride for Burton’s of Adventure Cycling), and an RN. Have taken care of injured cyclists. You are a fighter. You are going to get better. You are going to heal. Just wish I was there to help take care of you. Nurses like feisty patients, keep it up.

— Tim Miller, June 19, 2018

21 June 2018

Yesterday John had to be put back on the breathing machine because he was just too weak to continue breathing on his own to maintain proper oxygen levels. The junk in his lungs cannot be coughed up for the same reason, which adds to his labored breathing.

The anesthesiologist came in to do the intubation at his bedside. After the intubation, a bronchoscopy was performed. The final results confirmed he has pneumonia – this sucks ass again.

He spiked a fever last night, but the fever is down today. He will remain intubated for some time. The plans to fix his leg are on hold but I don’t know for how long. I’m sure they will let me know what they plan to do next.

I can’t remember if I told everyone about his reaction when he knew they were going to intubate him again. He tried to tell me something, so I assertively pushing through the crowd of people preparing to do their job, removed his breathing mask and asked him what he wanted. I was afraid that he was going to say he didn’t want the procedure that would save his life. Instead, he said to me, The doctors here suck. I said, Do you not want them to do the procedure? He answered, They better do it right. So I marched off and told the surgeon what he said, with no offense intended because I’m too nice.

I want everyone to know there is another rider in the second hospital in this town. That bike rider is also intubated and in critical but stable condition. I hope to contact his wife today to offer support. The Trans Am Bike Race group is hoping that a GoFundMe will be started for him too. I sure hope so.

Many of you have asked how I am doing, and every day I tell myself this is not about me. For once, this statement is true. I say that because John always says to me It’s not about you, and I would get so mad. This time it’s really not about me. I can walk, talk and breathe.

— Susan Egbers

I’m so sorry to hear about the other cyclist. And know that they are SO lucky to have you there. Let us know what we can do for him and his family. I know John’s fan club will also pitch in for this guy.

— Lisa Zahn, June 21, 2018

23 June 2018

Well, this is definitely going to be a long haul. Intubated until at least Monday. If breathing on his own doesn’t drastically improve by then, it’ll be a tracheotomy to make being vented more comfortable. The combination of recent surgery and the hardware in his neck can lead to a big risk of infection if they do the tracheotomy too soon. The doctor said the tracheotomy would be in for about four weeks, or until he is able to breath adequately on his own. It is a temporary thing, so that’s the good news. We hate to have to go down that route, but there’s really no choice.

So now, moving John to Craig Hospital’s Spinal Cord Injury Rehabilitation in Denver, Colorado is postponed for at least a week, maybe more. Every day is a new issue, a new plan, a new challenge, a new fear.

— Susan Egbers

You all have been on my mind constantly since I heard the news. I love you and I continue to pray.

— Robi Messerich, June 23, 2018

Thank you Robi. It’s been rough not being able to stay by my dad’s side, but I’m staying strong because that’s what he would want.

—Jonathan Egbers, June 23, 2018

I am amazed at the multitude of people John has touched in his life and those who have just been inspired by him … then again I shouldn’t be. He is an amazing human being and I get to call him my son.

— Fran Egbers, June 24, 2018

24 June 2018

It’s not about me. Several people have asked me, How are you doing? My answer has been, It’s not about me right now, it is truly all about John. He’s the one who is paralyzed from the chest down, he’s the one that is most affected by what has happened. It’s not all about me and I’m okay with that.

But while I lay awake at night, I realize it has a lot to do with me. John and I often talked about how these past few years have been the best years. When we got married, we had children right away. We didn’t have the traditional few years after marriage of it being ‘just us’. Now is our ‘just us’ time.

Our marriage has by no means been a fairy tale. We have had our ups and downs like everyone else. John’s saying is, We never fell out of love with each other at the same time. Just think about that. As we go through life, there’s a lot of times when you’re not gonna love each other fully – shit gets in the way. We were fortunate that one of us held the marriage together while the other one was down. Take that advice and use it.

It seems ironic now, because John’s goal was to ride his bike across America. He promised that we would start seriously working on our plans to travel when he finished the race. My idea was to travel in some kind of hippie van, maybe a Volkswagen; John’s idea was to travel in a camper van with a lot more luxury. My idea was eating peanut butter sandwiches every day, being a free spirit, going wherever we wanted to go, and staying as long as we wanted. My idea was traveling to state parks, mountains beaches and interesting cities. John’s idea was stopping along the way and seeing the people he knew. I wanted this to be just us, but now I see why he wanted to visit people. This tragedy has shown me that he has so many friends all over this country and across the oceans that he obviously cares about. I actually never knew this part of his life.

We are now changing our plans into something unknown, different and frightening, but something which will be beautiful, because I believe our love is strong. Nothing could ever pull us apart. For some reason we were always there for each other. After writing all this, I now know it’s not about me. It’s about us.

Susan Egbers

Good morning, John. Was in Yorktown at the TABR finish last night, everyone pulling for you. 1000% support