The Self Saboteur's Guide To Love: Navigating Heartache & Embracing Emotional Resiliency

By Ryan Daleo

Life is a journey of stumbles and falls, especially when it comes to love. Do you often find yourself inadvertently setting emotional traps only to walk into them? Welcome, fellow self-saboteur, this book is for you. "The Self Saboteur's Guide To Love: Navigating Heartbreak and Embracing Emotional Resiliency" is a light-hearted, yet earnest exploration of the minefield that is modern romance.

Penned by a candid, self-confessed master of love implosions who is still on his journey to getting it right, this book offers relatable, real-life advice for all who feel a little lost in the convoluted world of relationships. It's less a preachy guide, more like a chat with a friend who's walked in your shoes, fallen flat on his face more times than he can count, and is still dusting off the grit.

This book isn't about conjuring an unrealistic rosy picture of love or promising a one-size-fits-all solution. Instead, it's about feeling seen and heard, recognizing the common missteps we make in love, and most importantly, about fostering emotional resilience through our blunders.

"The Self Saboteur's Guide To Love" uncovers topics like the tricky difference between love and obsession, the transformative power of self-reflection, the crucial task of checking the ego at the door, and understanding the diverse relationship dynamics that mold our experiences in love. All these, infused with an accessible and humorous narrative that will make you laugh, sigh, and reflect.

So whether you're single, taken, or floundering in between, immerse yourself in this insightful guide and prepare to navigate the unpredictable yet rewarding voyage of love and self-discovery. After all, we're all just trying to get it right, one stumble at a time.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jun 5, 2023
• ISBN: 9781312494084

Book preview

Prologue

What it is and what it isn’t

Warning

! This book isn't a self-help book. Nor is it filled with 'get love quick' schemes or mystical relationship mantras. I'm placing that disclaimer right at the start, underlining it, bolding it, and then adding some glittering confetti for effect. Now, let's set things straight: I don't have all the answers. In fact, my love life is about as consistent as a Wi-Fi signal in an elevator. And if you're expecting a neatly numbered ten-step plan to everlasting romance, well, you're more likely to find a poodle doing your taxes.

Now, what this book is would be similar to listening to a late-night monologue. It's me, reflecting on my rollercoaster ride of experiences that, let's be honest, haven't exactly catapulted me forward in the realm of love, but has helped me to learn more each time.  It's a heart-to-heart from me to you, discussing the speed bumps and stop signs I've meticulously and unintentionally installed on my own path. The title's not pulling any punches: many of these hindrances have been entirely self-inflicted. Talk about setting up your own hurdles, right?"

It's worth noting who's at the other end of this one-sided conversation. I'm a 40-year-old guy who first tumbled down the rabbit hole of the relationships during the

dot.com

bubble.. So I've got one foot in the Gen X camp and the other dabbling in the Millennial puddle. This means I've weathered the storm of both generations' trials and tribulations when it comes to love. I've seen the shift from passing paper notes in class to sliding into DMs on Instagram..

And, for full transparency: I'm a dyed-in-the-wool romantic, that kind of hopeless soul who yearns for 'the one'. My expectations sometimes veer towards the fantastical, like hoping to stumble upon Neo in a world populated by countless Mr. Smiths. As a result, my musings tend to carry the dreamy sheen of idealism, which may sometimes blur the boundaries between fantasy and reality. Consequently, you might find my stance on relationships, love, and even the sensual tango, to err on the 'Old World' side of things.

Lastly, and in case it isn't already glaringly obvious, I am a pop culture enthusiast . You could say arcane movie references are my love language, my Morse code to you, the reader. Think of them as little cinematic bread crumbs scattered throughout our journey. Some may land perfectly, others may require a bit of head-scratching or a quick Google search. But rest assured, each one is a nod to….myself, while I laugh and type furiously at 3am when I can’t fall asleep.. And to those who get it, it is a subtle wink shared between friends navigating this tangled web of love and self-sabotage.

Chapter 1

Love VS Obsession: Are You in a Rom-Com or are You a Stage-5 Clinger?

O

ur journey begins at the crossroads of a simple yet profound question: What is love? Now, I've never seen the movie Love Actually, but with Liam Neeson on the roster, I'm half-tempted to assume it's a gritty prequel to Taken featuring a romance-tinged version of his particular set of skills.

Humor aside, love is a complex and often elusive concept, explored extensively throughout history. The ancient Greeks, for example, were quite invested in dissecting the notion of love.

Take Plato, who once said,

At the touch of love, everyone becomes a poet.

They even had multiple words for different types of love.

Turning to the Holy Bible, love is