Waking Up Crazy: Dreams Untangled, #2

By Mary Lee Tiernan

Maddie wakes up in a nightmare worse than any she ever dreamt in her sleep. She finds herself in a sanitarium, not knowing how she got there or why she's there. Tortuous weeks pass by as she tries to climb out of the black hole in her memory and piece her life back together. But most of all, most important of all, she wants to find Luke despite the lies she's been told about him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Mary Lee Tiernan
• Release date: Jun 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215433430

Mary Lee Tiernan

I was born in New York, but the lure of open spaces brought me west, and I now call Arizona home. Throughout my professional life as an educator and newspaper editor, my passion has always been writing. My other passion is exploring all the West has to offer, and I am often RVing down the road with my cat Charlie.

Book preview

Chapter 1

BAM. The noise nudged me awake, only nudged because I still felt very groggy. My neck hurt. I must have fallen asleep with my head bent to the side. Without opening my eyes, I concentrated on fighting the aching and straightening my neck. Very slowly, I managed to raise it to an upright position. Then I concentrated on opening my eyes; someone must have glued them shut while I was sleeping.

I had expected to find myself sitting in the living room in my cottage—our cottage, mine and Luke’s. I wasn’t. Instead, I saw a large room painted a dull white with gray linoleum floors. Curtainless windows broke the monotony of two walls. Either the sun was setting, or the sky was overcast, because very little light shone through them. Some people sat on chairs around tables, while others lounged on couches or armchairs scattered throughout the room. A few people wandered aimlessly about. A group gathered by the door was picking up debris from the floor and piling it on a cart. I guessed that the cart had overturned, spilling its contents and causing the noise that had awakened me.

Where the hell was I?

I decided to get up to go find someone to answer that question and to demand to know why I was here. I tried to lean forward in my chair to stand up; I couldn’t. I felt restraints across my body binding me to the chair. When I looked down, I realized I was sitting in a wheelchair. Had I been in an accident? Was I in some kind of recovery unit?

I slowly tested each part of my body beginning with my hands. I clenched and unclenched them. No problem. I twisted my arms slightly from side to side but couldn’t lift them. They, too, had been bound to the chair with straps. My legs and feet moved freely. The slight movements demonstrated I had control over the parts of my body, and I didn’t feel any pain, so why was I physically confined to a chair?

A face appeared in front of mine, startling me. A woman stared at me for a moment and then waved her hand in front of my eyes causing me to blink. She backed off and began twirling around my chair. Awake, awake. Woke up, woke up.  

Althea, knock it off, a male voice called. Leave her alone.

Althea stopped twirling and put her hands on her hips. Listen, listen, awake, awake.

A man dressed in white scrubs strode across the room. He, too, waved his hand in front of my eyes, and once again I blinked. Can you move your hand? he asked.

I moved both of them to make sure he saw them.

Now move just your right hand, he said.

I obliged.

Now your left hand.

I did. This was silly. Why didn’t I just tell him I was awake? I opened my mouth to speak but all that came out were unintelligible sounds.

Take it easy, he said. Your mouth and throat are probably dry. Let me get you some water.

Hey, Walter, bring me some water and get Betty. She really is awake.

Told ya, told ya, Althea said. She leaned over and stuck her face in front of mine again.

This time, I noticed her disheveled clothes and hair. Putting that together with her actions and words, I gulped. If this was a recovery unit, it wasn’t for the physically infirm.

I pushed my head back, as that was the only part of me I could push away, and waved my fingers.

Yes, you did tell me, Althea. The orderly firmly grasped Althea by the shoulders and moved her aside.  You’re upsetting her. Go on now, before Betty gets here.

Althea twirled away, but not too far, as Walter and Betty approached. Judging by their uniforms, I guessed Walter to be another orderly, and Betty a nurse.

Rick, hold off giving her that water while I take her pulse and blood pressure, but carefully unstrap her arms.

As soon as Rick had freed my arms, I held them up. My arms? They looked too skinny to be mine. My hands? Something was wrong there too.

I need you to lower your arms for a few minutes, Betty said, or I’ll have to put the restraints back on. Do you understand?

I nodded and lowered my arms while Betty attached the cuff to my arm and pumped up the blood pressure machine. Walter handed Rick the glass of water he’d been holding and left to attend to a man who had begun to bang on a window.  

Normal, Betty said and removed the cuff.

When I took the glass of water from Rick, my hand began to shake so badly that water splashed over the rim of the glass.

Let me help you with that, Rick said. He wrapped his hand around mine and guided the glass to my lips.

I was so weak that I couldn’t even hold a glass of water? How long had I been in this place? A million other questions raced through my mind, but one weighed more heavily than all the rest. After wetting my throat, I croaked out, Where is Luke?

Chapter 2

I was living a Kafkaesque nightmare. I had tried asking Rick and Betty other questions; they had replied with the same answer to all of them. You can ask the doctor when you see him. Of course, they had had no idea when that would be.

I tried to look on the bright side. My body was a mess, my memory was gone—at least a big chunk of it—but my wits were intact.

The doctor came to my room later that evening. I greeted him with a plethora of questions. Where was I? How long had I been here? Why was I here? Where was Luke?

When I finally ran out of breath, Dr. Harvey explained that I was in a sanitarium—he called it a rest home—and had been here for several weeks to rest and recuperate.

From what? I asked.

He said we would explore the answers to my questions and to the issues troubling me over time. In the meanwhile, he wanted me to relax and regain my strength, beginning with a good night’s sleep.

Apparently, I said, I’ve been sleeping for weeks. How do you expect me to relax when I have no idea what’s going on? The volume of my voice rose as I spoke. I want some answers, and I want them now.

You go to sleep, he said, and I’ll see you tomorrow.

He turned and stepped toward the door which he had left open when he arrived. I noticed Althea sauntering back and forth, looking into the room each time she passed it.

Wait! I cried. I wanted to grab him and keep him there until he answered me. Forgetting about my atrophied muscles, I slid off the bed—and all the way to the floor. My legs didn’t support me.

Althea pointed at me. On the floor, on the floor, she chanted.

Dr. Harvey pivoted and saw me on the floor. He ran to my bed and pressed an emergency button then leaned over me. Are you hurt?

I didn’t answer because the fall had stunned me. I heard footsteps running down the hallway.

Rick raced through the doorway and to my side. What happened? he asked.

Althea slipped quietly into the room after him.

She fell out of bed.

No. I tried to say, but I still hadn’t caught my breath, and it came out as a grunt.

Rick picked me up and put me back into the bed. Dr. Harvey gave me a quick exam to make sure I hadn’t been hurt. Strap her down, he said, before she falls out again.

No! This time it came out full force.

Stay here with her, Dr. Harvey said to Rick. I’ll be right back.

I thrashed about as Rick tied the restraints around me. I didn’t fall out of bed, I said to Rick. I tried to stand up.

You’ve had an upsetting day, Rick said. I’m pretty sure the doc went to get something to help you sleep. Things will be better tomorrow.

Only they weren’t. I woke up a prisoner in my bed. Until they came to free me from the restraints, I had little else to do but study my surroundings. At least I could turn my head. My small room contained only the bed, a reading chair, and a side table. No lamp. I looked up at the ceiling and saw the overhead lights. I bet the staff controlled the lights.

Three doors broke the span of the blue walls. Blue is supposed to be a calming color, but the institutional blue they were painted was only ugly. I knew one door led to the hallway; the others I guessed to be doors to a closet and a bathroom. Light filtering in through the single window cast a pattern of straight lines on the wall across from it. Why ... oh, I bet the lines came from bars across the outside of the window. A single tear escaped and rolled down my cheek.

The hallway door cracked open, and Althea stuck her head in. We established eye contact but neither of us spoke. She turned her head to glance down the hallway and then opened the door just wide enough to slip into the room. She walked directly to the bed. It was the first time I’d seen her walk normally. She gently brushed the hair from my forehead with her hand and smiled.

Don’t fight them, she said. You can’t win. They’ll drug you the way they did last night. Stay calm. They ...

She stopped speaking because the door suddenly opened. She fluttered her hands in the air.

Althea, what are you doing in here?

Checking, checking. Okay, okay?

I’m sure she’s fine. The face of a different nurse materialized.  You go back to your room now and get dressed for breakfast.

Hungry, hungry, Althea said and danced out of the room.

How are we this morning? the nurse asked me.

I never understood that usage of the plural pronoun. How I was had absolutely nothing to do with how she was. I was miserable; she didn’t appear to be. However, I didn’t want to be too antagonistic.

I smiled. As fine as I can be tied up in this bed.

Let’s get those restraints off. I’m Ruth, by the way.

That plural pronoun again: let’s, let us. If I were capable of getting them off, they would have been gone a long time before she appeared. Keep your temper in check, I told myself.

Thanks, Ruth. I’d appreciate that.

Was Althea bothering you?

No.

She released my arms first. I massaged my hands while she worked on the body straps. My hands didn’t feel right. They felt ... I froze. They didn’t feel right because my engagement ring was missing! My whole body stiffened. Ruth, of course, noticed that and stopped working on the straps.

What’s wrong?

I held out my left hand. It’s gone. My engagement ring—it’s not on my hand. My voice was several octaves higher than normal.

She clasped my hand in hers. Don’t panic. It’s okay. We don’t allow clients to have valuable jewelry in here. It would have been removed before you came to us. Whoever is in charge of your estate will have it. She released my hand to continue loosening the straps.

Whoever was in charge of my estate? I’d not thought about who had made the decision to place me here in the sanitarium. I’d never gotten around to changing the executor or the beneficiary on my will and trust to Luke as I had intended to do, so it must be my sister.

My sister?

I don’t know such details. Dr. Harvey will know. You can ask him when he checks in on you.

Oh, sure, I thought. He’s so forthcoming with answering my questions. I did relax somewhat, knowing that my ring hadn’t simply disappeared.

Okay, that’s it, Ruth said as she released the last strap. Let me help you sit up.

She helped me to a sitting position. Now swing your legs slowly over the side of the bed.

She held on to me as I did.

Are you dizzy?

No.

Would you like to take a shower?

Yes, but I don’t think my legs will hold me. That’s why I fell last night. I didn’t fall out of bed. I tried to get out of bed, and my legs gave out.

I wanted to assure her that strapping me to the bed had been caused by a misunderstanding. My explanation didn’t faze her one way or the other.

Cory will be here in a minute, and we’ll help you walk to the shower. You can sit once you’re in the shower. Stay here for a minute while I get clean PJs for you.

She opened the closet door. Several sets of hospital-issued pajamas were folded on a shelf as were a pile of underpants, but nothing hung from the clothes rod.

Don’t I have any of my own clothes here?

Not yet. We’ve called your sister, and she’ll be bringing some.

Hmm. If my sister was going to deliver my clothes, that might mean she wasn’t too far away. So I was close to the desert instead of the lake? How could that be? My last memory was of Luke kissing me at the cottage door. Why was I back in the desert? Perhaps when whatever happened to me happened, my sister had come to the lake to be with me? Not a likely scenario, but miracles happen. I needed to see out a window; the landscape would tell me whether I was in the desert or at the lake. Best of all, my sister would tell me what was going on and could assure me that she had my engagement ring. My questions might finally be answered.

The ritual of taking a shower confirmed just how weak my body had become. I vowed to begin exercising that day. Simple exercises. Just moving my muscles would start firming them up again. I planned which leg exercises I could do lying in bed or sitting on the chair. For my arms, I’d begin pushing myself in the wheelchair. I felt better knowing I had a plan.

After breakfast, an orderly wheeled me into the common room. I asked to be ‘parked’ in front of a window. He complied with my request, but put the wheelchair too far back from the window for me to see the landscape. All I saw was an expanse of sky and concluded that we must not be on the ground floor. I watched as he applied the brakes so I’d know how to release them and move the wheelchair myself.

Meanwhile, most of the patients lined up at a window for their medications. A nurse dispensed the meds, and an orderly handed them a paper cup filled with water to swallow them. No one was allowed to walk away until they’d swallowed the pills. Another orderly walked around the room with a tray to deliver meds to those who couldn’t stand