Yours Forever

By Nimmu

What happens when you fall in love with someone who has vowed to never love again? Sneha' s luck is cursed. What she had anticipated to be a joyous ride into her residency, turns into a scene from hell when the man she had an altercation with on her first day, turns out to be her supervisor— Dr. Shiva a.k.a. Dr. Hothead a.k.a. the Ice King. And just when she thinks life can't get any worse than this, the unthinkable happens. She falls in love with him! From a man she loathes, Shiva turns into the love of her life. But he has had enough of heartbreaks to last him a lifetime. Even though enamoured by the endearing and beautiful Sneha, he is still resolved to love no more. As Shiva coldly casts Sneha out of his life, will Sneha meekly listen, never to appear in front of him again? Or will her love manage to melt Shiva's impenetrable heart? So begins Yours Forever, a heart-wrenching story about passion, heartbreaks, and love that crosses paths with long-buried truths and unexpected tragedies. Battered at every turn, will Shiva and Sneha' s love last forever?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fingerprint Publishing
• Release date: Jul 5, 2018
• ISBN: 9789389178036

Book preview

FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, MY HEART!

By Kahlil Gibran

For heaven’s sake, my heart, keep secret your love,

and hide the secret from those you see

and you will have better fortune.

He who reveals secrets is considered a fool;

silence and secrecy are much better

for him who falls in love.

For heaven’s sake, my heart, if someone asks,

What has happened? do not answer.

If you are asked, Who is she?

Say she in love with another

And pretend that it is of no consequence.

For heaven’s sake, my love, conceal your passion;

your sickness is also your medicine because love

to the soul is as wine in a glass—what you

see is liquid, what is hidden is its spirit.

For heaven’s sake, my heart, conceal your troubles;

then, should the seas roar and the skies

fall, you will be safe.

1

D r. Sneha.

Her name sounded elegant to her own ears as it rolled off her tongue. Each time she uttered those two words together, a surge of excitement coursed through her veins at the thought that in just one more year, the prefix would become a permanent fixture to her name.

Sneha finished plating her long hair and tied it with a hairband. As she was applying kajal to her big brown eyes, she saw in the mirror that her grandmother was standing behind her with a cup of coffee in her hand. She had a smile on her face.

Sneha, you are looking beautiful. I think I need to place a dot of kajal to your cheek to prevent someone from casting an evil eye on you, said her grandmother, adjusting the bindi on her forehead.

"Paatti! Enough of your flattery!" she smiled, taking the coffee from her grandmother’s hand and sipping it quickly.

She turned around at the sound of a sniffle and saw that her grandmother was wiping her eyes with the ends of her sari.

Paatti . . . are you okay?

You look just like her. I wish she were here to see you; she would have been so proud of you.

I wish that too, but I am thankful that at least I have you, Paatti. She hugged her grandmother tightly and kissed her cheek.

Okay, enough of sentiments for today. I don’t want to be late for the first day of my residency, Sneha said as she grabbed her handbag and white coat and rushed out the door.

Don’t open the door without looking through the peephole, Paatti, she yelled out as she hurriedly walked down the stairs to catch her bus.

Two flights down, she tripped on her sari and almost crashed into a man on crutches who was leaning against the wall.

Can’t you see where you are going? he said, wiping the beads of perspiration off his forehead.

I’m . . . sorry. I didn’t see you . . .

Are these yours? she asked him as she saw some books scattered on the floor.

He nodded.

She bent down to gather them up and when she saw that he was holding a briefcase in his other hand, she held his elbow gently and said, Please come, I will help you down the stairs.

But he grabbed the books from her hand and shoved her so hard that Sneha staggered and almost fell down. Bewildered by his reaction and irked by the fact that he was hurrying down the stairs unconcerned with what might have happened to her, she spoke loudly.

Excuse me. I was just trying to help! she said, still shaken by his odd reaction.

Did I ask you to help me? I don’t need any help. You may go, he yelled back at her.

Okay, fine! She yanked the books back from his hands, threw them on the floor, and then, winked at him.

Here! Please help yourself, she said with an evil grin on her face.

You . . . he stopped himself midway from saying something nasty to her.

Thanks. I need all the blessings today, she snapped back at him sarcastically and rushed down the stairs, mumbling to herself, What has happened to people these days; they get offended even when people are trying to help them.

She hurried to the bus stop and was furious as she realized that she had missed the 8:30 a.m. bus.

All because of that jerk! she muttered under her breath.

She knew she had no other choice but to board the jam-packed 8:40 a.m. bus if she was to report at nine o’clock at the hospital. A few minutes later, the bus arrived. She got on and, somehow, squeezed her way through the revolting smell of talcum powder mixed with sweat to find herself a place to stand inside the bus.

In the already hot summer morning of Chennai, the bus felt like an oven and people were packed close to each other like sardines. There was hardly any breathing space. Sneha wondered why she had even bothered to spend so much time to get ready in the morning. She was sure that by the time she would reach the hospital, she would look like she had just come out of a spin wash of a washing machine, all dishevelled and crumpled.

2

Sneha opened the doors of KR Medical College and the gush of cold air felt like heaven.

Sneha! Look at you! Latha giggled looking at her.

Don’t even get me started now. I missed my first bus because of some jerk who couldn’t even accept a favour, she fumed.

Hello . . . stay calm and let me handle it. She got down on her knees to adjust the pleats on Sneha’s sari.

Why do you put yourself through this misery of wearing a sari?

Because I like it, said Sneha, smoothing her hair.

But sometimes, you have to think about convenience too, said Latha, getting up to see her best friend’s frazzled face.

If I had caught the previous bus, I wouldn’t be in this state. It is all because of that man in crutches. I wish I had taken his crutches and thrown them away, she said, exasperated.

Just as she had uttered those words, she heard the sound of the crutches in the hospital corridor.

God, now this sound is haunting me even here.

When she turned around, she held her breath because it wasn’t only the sound of the crutches but the same man as well, walking into the hospital with a white coat over his shoulder.

Latha, she elbowed her friend. It’s the same guy.

Who?

See there.

They both saw him walk towards the door, which had the name plate, ‘Dr. M. Shiva. MD’ and her mouth fell open.

Sneha held her forehead and said, Gosh! Why? Why of all the people in the world, he had to be the doctor we are supposed to report to. Now, how will I face him?

Latha laughed uncontrollably looking at Sneha’s now reddened face.

Sneha pointed a finger at Latha accusingly. You can’t laugh at my misery. A worried look then crossed her face and she muttered, Maybe I should arm myself with something. What if he is still angry and ends up throwing his crutches at me?

I am sure the doctor is sensible enough to not throw away the only thing that is helping him to walk, said Latha. First, tell me what happened, she said, trying hard not to giggle.

Sneha narrated the incident of the morning.

You are doomed. Turn around. That jerk is here.

Sneha turned around slowly and Shiva looked up at the same moment; their eyes locked for a moment too long. She managed an awkward smile but Shiva’s face showed a hint of anger. His smouldering eyes pierced hers as if he was ready to burn her into ashes, like the God after whom he was named.

Sneha’s stomach churned and she looked down, feeling distraught at her impulsive behaviour in the morning. At the right moment, the other residents gathered around Dr. Shiva.

He cleared his throat and said, I am Doctor Shiva. The first thing I expect from all of you is to be on time. Second, to have your full attention on the patient because there can be no room for errors. Please introduce yourselves.

Apart from Sneha and Latha, there was a girl named Anjali and two guys named Nikhil and Arun. They introduced themselves to him and when it was Sneha’s turn to speak, her voice came out in a squeak, causing everyone gathered to giggle.

I’m Sneha Srinivasan. When she looked up at Dr. Shiva, he had already turned around and pressed the elevator button to go up to the wards where the patients were. Sneha’s stomach felt as if a thousand butterflies had just awoken from slumber and were dancing around her insides.

Latha chuckled and whispered to her, Karma! You get what you give.

Sneha elbowed her, rolled her eyes, and stood behind the doctor as the elevator went up.

She noticed his jet black hair, with a tinge of grey around the ears, which was gelled and combed to perfection. The beard on his face made him look stern and serious. She also noticed a vein protruding and pulsating near his temple, and when she looked down, she saw the big cast on his foot, which made her feel guilty at what she had done that morning.

He must be in a lot of pain, she thought, and made up her mind to apologize to him. Anyway, it will benefit her in the long run also as she wanted to continue her residency in peace and a fight with the reporting doctor was not going to help her achieve that.

When the elevator opened, Dr. Shiva was swift to get out. The nurses gathered around him and handed over the case sheets. He drilled his nurses with questions about the patients who had been admitted the previous night, looked at the lab reports that had come that morning, and quizzed the residents, asking them what their recommendation would be for the patients. All the residents came to realize that this wasn’t going to be an easy morning, or an easy semester for that matter.

Sneha was the first to answer most of Dr. Shiva’s questions; he noticed that, but instead only gave her curt nods. Even though Sneha answered him correctly every time, he never smiled.

They started their morning rounds and the first patient they saw was uncommunicative. He was just blankly staring into space. One of the residents held his hands and asked him to squeeze or blink his eye, but he was unresponsive to it.

Dr. Shiva asked his interns to turn him around to check for bed sores and the stench of his last bowel movement permeated the air.

Please get someone to clean him up, he ordered the nurse who was standing by his side and she scurried away.

Dr. Shiva held the patient’s hand and spoke to him softly, looking into his eyes.

Mr. Guna, I will talk to your wife about your condition. Hope you feel better.

When he walked out of the door, he scribbled notes on his case sheet and handed it over to the nurse and asked her to send for the patient’s wife to talk to him in the afternoon.

The next patient they met was someone who had fainted when she was in a shopping mall.

Before entering the room, Shiva questioned his residents on the causes of syncope.

Sneha answered promptly before the others could look into the diagnosis book for answers. Hypotension, seizure disorder, hypoglycaemia, the heat, or it could be cardiac arrhythmia.

Good. Shiva nodded his approval and they entered the room to meet their next patient and get a further idea of her condition.

He asked a few more questions to the patient and listened to her long list of complaints without getting annoyed and answered all her questions patiently.

Don’t worry, Mrs. Esther, you are going to be fine. Let the blood reports come; I will let you know when you can go home, he said with a smile finally breaking into his serious, handsome face.

Sneha’s heart tripped seeing his smile. She and Latha looked at each other and smiled mischievously. Sneha pinched Latha’s hand. Latha, in turn, shoved Sneha in the stomach with her elbow. Sneha winced in pain and straightened up before Shiva turned around.

Stop ogling at him! she whispered.

They moved together to the next patient and this continued for the next one hour. The entire morning passed quickly. Sneha noticed that Shiva was extremely diligent with his work and expected the same diligence from everyone around him. She was impressed at the way he took his time to talk to each of the patients and answer all their questions.

All the residents sighed with relief after their rounds and headed to the cafeteria while Dr. Shiva headed to his room.

3

Shiva walked into his room, placed the crutches against the wall, sat on the chair, and groaned.

The crutches were killing him and it was really hard to be walking around with them, but he had to do it. He had taken off for too long and he needed to get back into the routine and bring back the normality of his former life. He was passionate about his work; it was his first love. He had missed coming to the hospital and being around people.

Though it was hard to focus after a break of two months, in the last one week he had gotten back into his old routine and felt like himself after a very long time.

But the sense of normality in his life had been redefined in the past two months. The normal life that he had had like anyone else had changed in one night. The new normal that he was trying to establish felt like being in a quagmire because no matter how hard he tried, it was difficult to not think about what had happened. His work at the hospital kept him busy and distracted and that was the reason he had returned.

But he repented his decision to take these residents for training. With them following him around and looking at him with pity made his anger spike up. He had tried hard to retain his composure, but he sure did lose it this morning on that girl, Sneha, and wished he hadn’t. She had offered her help, but that had made him feel like an invalid. Instead of thanking her, he had ended up pushing her away.

Just as he was thinking about all this, there was a knock on his door.

Please come in, he said, his eyes glued to his phone.

When he looked up, Sneha was standing there nervously.

She had removed her doctor’s coat and was wearing a pink cotton sari. Her big dark eyes coated with kajal made her eyes look brighter. He could sense mischief in them. Her flawless, dusky skin didn’t require any make-up and even in her simple cotton sari, she looked attractive and homely.

He just looked at her for a few seconds without saying a word because he was still angry at her behaviour. Sneha squirmed under his gaze. She was battling in her mind as to how to start the conversation. Should she start with an apology? Or start with the reason why she did what she did.

Shiva, oblivious to all this, just started looking at his phone again. He was curious as to what this girl had come to say. Was she going to defend her boorish behaviour or blame him for the way she overreacted?

Sneha walked closer to his desk nervously and spoke, twisting her finger.

I’m sorry, Doctor, she squeaked.

Shiva didn’t respond and kept looking at his phone.

I got mad when you shoved me away. I shouldn’t have taken the books from your hands and left them down. That was very mean of me. I am really—

Shiva raised his hand, meaning her to stop, still not looking up at her.

Though Sneha had two more lines still left of her apology that she had memorized, she stopped abruptly, and smiled timidly.

You may leave, he said sternly.

Sneha’s cheerful face fell and she turned around to go, but just as she was about to open the door, she heard Shiva speak.

I hate being pitied. Probably, I overreacted. I am sorry too, he said.

A sigh of relief escaped Sneha when she heard Dr. Shiva apologize. She turned around to look at him and said, I understand, Doctor. It’s okay. She saw that the phone was on the table in front of him now, but he was still looking down, still not looking at her. But, he didn’t look so stern to her now; he looked embarrassed. Sneha smiled to herself and walked out of the room.

4

Latha, who was waiting outside Dr. Shiva’s door, pulled Sneha away to a corner to ask about her conversation.

What? What did he say? she asked.

He didn’t even allow me to finish my apology, Sneha said, shaking her head and wiping her sweaty hand with her handkerchief.

Really?

But he said he was sorry too for shoving me, so I guess we are even now, she said, looking up at Latha.

He looks like a jerk, Sneha. I hate the way he barks at all the nurses, Latha sneered.

I don’t think he would ever apologize to them. So, hopefully, we can move forward after the rough start, she said with optimism.

The other residents gathered around them and started complaining.

Does this guy think we are in kindergarten or what? His attitude and the way he speaks to us; I wish I could just remove those crutches and throw them away, said Anjali.

Wow, not even a smile on our very first day from our very first doctor. Hey, all of you, promise you will never be like him, said Nikhil.

But hey, he spoke caringly to the patients. I have never seen a doctor taking his time to listen so patiently, defended Sneha.

Oh! Oh! Look at her, already having a crush on the doctor, teased everyone.

Hey, just shut up! Sneha said.

Sneha, tell them what happened this morning, Latha teased her.

All the residents turned towards her in unison and urged her to speak, What happened?

Sneha narrated the entire incident of the morning and all the residents roared with laughter.

Sneha, you are something for sure, said Arun.

I can be snooty if I want to. It is just that life is too short to be grumpy and frumpy, she said and smiled.

You are right. They gave her a high five.

Tell this to the Ice King, said Latha.

Hey, that’s a perfect name, Latha, said everyone in chorus.

Hmm . . . Ice King! Suits him perfectly, Sneha thought and smirked. But in her heart, for some reason she couldn’t hate him as the other residents did. He had apologized to her, even though he was the chief doctor. It had her made her feel that there was some warmth hidden inside him too.

Sneha was glad that the other residents were fun and friendly. Otherwise, it would have been miserable being stuck with an annoying team as well.

After lunch, they were kept busy by the other doctors and by the evening, all of them were exhausted and ready to head home. Latha and Sneha hopped into an auto-rickshaw and headed home.

Only a week back, Sneha and her grandmother had moved into this apartment complex. Sneha wondered in which apartment Dr. Shiva was staying, and looked up the nameplates which were in the lobby. She finally spotted his name—Dr. Shiva Mudaliyar—on the board. He was on the third floor while she and her grandmother had rented an apartment on the fifth floor. As this was an old apartment building and there were no elevators, Sneha started climbing up towards her apartment, wondering about this moody doctor’s family.

She rang the bell to her house and her grandmother opened the door.

Paatti, how many times have I told you to look at the peephole before opening? Sneha reprimanded.

It is my age; I always forget, she said, smiling.

You use it to your convenience whenever you make a mistake, Paatti.

Shall I make some coffee? her grandma asked, walking behind her.

Let me first have my shower, then I will come and have my hot, hot coffee. Sneha walked into her room to have the shower that she was yearning for.

Sneha knew that she would feel at rest only after narrating all the incidents of her day to her grandmother, so she pulled two chairs onto the balcony and started her story from the time she met Dr. Shiva at the staircase of their apartment building to the time she returned home. Her grandmother listened with patience and then spoke.

You shouldn’t have thrown the books on the floor Sneha; poor man.

I know, Paatti, I shouldn’t have. But you know me; if someone provokes me, I don’t even think before reacting. But I told you, I apologized to him, right? So, don’t make me feel guiltier.

Sneha had been replaying the morning incident in her mind the entire day and tried to think how she would have acted differently if she had known that Shiva was her reporting doctor. If only she had been able to keep her impulsive behaviour in check, she wouldn’t be feeling like this right now. Even an apology had not been enough to rid her of her guilt and now her grandmother was adding fuel to the fire.

So, what did you do the whole day? Did you go out and explore? Sneha asked as she had been concerned about her grandmother being alone in this new apartment.

I went to the temple that is outside the gate in the evening. Many people from the apartment building had come and they were friendly, her grandmother replied.

Paatti, wherever you are, you always make friends easily. There is no one in the world who cannot like you, she said, putting her hand over her grandmother’s shoulders and squeezing it tenderly.

Her grandma caressed her cheeks and said, I live only for you, dear. I pray to god to keep me alive till I see you married.

I thought you would dream about the day I would be getting an award for my service as a doctor, but you have the dream of every woman—to see her children and grandchildren married. What pleasure would you get in seeing me married?

No, dear, it is just a sense of security. A woman needs a man to give her security and protection.

I have seen many cases at the hospital where the woman had to be admitted because she had been facing domestic violence. What security? We can stand on our own too.

"Not all marriages end up like that, Sneha. Marriage is about companionship in the long run. One day, when the right man comes into your life, you will beg me to get you married to him and