Bizarre Laws & Curious Customs of the UK (Volume 2): Bizarre Laws & Curious Customs of the UK, #2

By Monty Lord

'A curious, comical and highly entertaining read, full of eccentric laws and customs that have led to our rich legal heritage.' - Lubna Shuja - President of The Law Society of England and Wales

 

In the UK, we have some bizarre laws that have littered the statute books of our sceptred isle throughout history. Not all of them have been repealed over the centuries. Some of them made perfect sense at the time they were introduced but seen through modern eyes, now appear archaic and draconian. Despite the great efforts of the Law Commission in England and Wales to review and recommend reforms for many of these outdated laws, there are centuries of law that must be painstakingly gone through.

 

As well as some bizarre laws, the UK also has its fair share of curious customs and time-honoured traditions that have been observed for centuries. On the surface, many appear to be nothing more than theatrical pomp and pageantry. However, they are all born from strong rationale.

 

The UK parliament seems to have had a particular penchant for passing laws related to fish and animals, indecency and passing sentences with some humiliating public punishments.

 

This book is a highly entertaining read for anyone who enjoys learning about the more bizarre applications of UK law throughout the centuries, along with some rather macabre consequences along the way.

 

Have you ever heard a bizarre law and thought, that can't possibly be true? Is it genuine? Was it ever in existence or just an urban myth that became so embellished over time? There are surprisingly, a great many laws still in existence on the statute books today, that would make your jaw drop. Whilst bizarre as these laws may now seem to us, it begs the question, are we in fact, unknowingly breaking these laws on a regular basis?

 

For example...

• Is it illegal to own a pet whale but not a tiger?
• Was it illegal for women to argue & quarrel?
• Is it legal to carry a ladder along a street?
• Were mince pies once illegal?
• Who owns your passport?

 

...all these questions and more will be answered in this Volume 2 of a 3 volume series by Monty Lord.

Reading this book, you may be inclined to laugh heartily, let out a sorrowful cry or recoil in abject horror at some of the more gruesome sentences passed for breaking these weird laws.

 

With over 160 bizarre but nevertheless true, laws and customs, you can use this book to satisfy your curiosity about what our ancestors had to contend with over the years, or perhaps as a reference guide for trivia quizzes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Young Legal Eagles
• Release date: May 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9781916605015

Book preview

Praise for Bizarre Laws

‘A fascinating list of absurdities ... an extraordinary work ... remarkable and praiseworthy ... an extraordinary

achievement.’

Sir Michael Parkinson CBE

Broadcaster, journalist & author

‘Well assembled and written … an enjoyable and fascinating book.’

William Roache, OBE

Actor, 'Ken Barlow' in Coronation Street

‘An endlessly fascinating journey … Impeccably researched … impossible to put down. A truly remarkable book.’

Tracy Borman

Chief Curator for HM Historic Royal Palaces

‘An engaging and light-hearted portrayal of the judicial system over the centuries, presented by an extraordinary 17-year-old.’

Cherie Blair CBE, KC

‘Monty Lord’s brilliant writing makes this book accessible to everyone.’

The Rt Hon Sir Robert Buckland KBE KC MP

Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain (2019-21)

Secretary of State for Justice (2019-21)

Solicitor General for England and Wales (2014-19)

‘A curious, comical and highly entertaining read, full of eccentric laws and customs that have led to our rich legal heritage.’

Lubna Shuja

President of The Law Society of England and Wales

‘A rich spectrum of tasty clues to our nation’s story … A jolly read.’

Major General Alastair Bruce of Crionaich OBE VR

The Governor of Edinburgh Castle

‘This is a terrific book, entertaining, informative and quirky.’

HH Nigel Lithman KC

former Crown Court Judge

‘An erudite young author, Monty Lord’s voyage through some of the laws that have defined our nation over the centuries reveals a wisdom beyond his years.’

Jo Sidhu KC

Chair of the Criminal Bar Association (2021-22)

Bar Council of England and Wales (2023-26)

‘A delightful and humorous exploration of the absurdities of the legal system … with a masterful blend of history, law, and absurdity.’

Professor Leslie Thomas KC

Barrister, Professor of Law

‘Thoroughly researched, well-written and entertaining.’

Nick De Marco KC

Barrister, Blackstone Chambers

‘Entertaining and engagingly written.’

Professor Jon Stobart, FRHS

Professor of Social History

Manchester Metropolitan University

‘A veritable delight to read and will provide many a

conversation starter for years to come!’

Cllr Neil Darby

Mayor of Preston

‘Well-written and enjoyable book.’

David Boyle

Barrister (Deans Court Chambers)

‘A canter through weird and wonderful laws … delivered in an easy to read, humorous and sarcastic manner.’

Oli McCann

Partner, Napthens Solicitors (Blackburn)

‘A triumph! A devilishly fun and informative insight into the mad, bad and arcane world of British laws and customs.’

Owen Mather

Teacher, Head of Politics

Runshaw college, Leyland

‘Eye-opening, amusing, terrifying, disconcerting and

educational, in equal measure.’

Georgia Cooper

President of Durham University Bar Society

‘A fascinating and comprehensive book … an essential read … Monty is an emerging legal voice that will be a force to be reckoned with.’

Ife Obasa

Law student, University of Southampton

'In this well-written and informative book, Monty Lord unravels the dusty tapestry of our legal system with striking clarity and eloquence, providing an enlightening, sapient legal commentary of some of the most bizarre laws ever passed.'

The Rt. Hon. Nigel Evans MP

Deputy Speaker (The House of Commons)

Shadow Secretary of State for Wales (2001-03)

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Copyright © 2023 by MONTGOMERY LORD

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, scanning, or other — without permission in writing from the publisher, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review.

The right of Monty Lord to be identified as the Author of this work has been asserted by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978-1-7397488-8-3 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-7397488-9-0 (hardback)

ISBN 978-1-916605-00-8 (audiobook)

ISBN 978-1-916605-01-5 (eBook)

ISBN 978-1-916605-02-2 (large print)

Cover Design: Rhianna Whiteside, Casey-Lee Herbert

& Studio 22 (Runshaw College, Lancashire)

Illustrations by: Priya Ajith

Published in England, United Kingdom, by Young Legal Eagles®

a trademark of Young Legal Eagles Ltd.

www.YoungLegalEagles.com

I dedicate this book to my parents and my friends, past, present and future, for the love and strength they give me.

I also dedicate this book to the many hard-working men and women in the legal system. So many names over the centuries, forgotten or excluded but nonetheless have had such an impact on the lives of so many through the creation, clever interpretation and commonsense reform and application of the laws of this land.

To Frankie, thank-you for sticking around and always supporting me, even when I do weird things like writing this book.

" For there is but one essential justice which

cements society, and one law which establishes this justice. This law is right reason, which is the true rule of all commandments and prohibitions. Whoever neglects this law, whether written or unwritten, is necessarily unjust and wicked."

Marcus Tullius Cicero

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Intro

1.A Nation of Animal Lovers

2.Condemned By Court

3.Curious Customs

4.Death & Execution

5.Down Your Street

6.Drunkenness

7.Excruciating Torture

8.Food & Drink

9.Government & Military

10.Indecency

11.No Escape From Justice

12.Obscene Behaviour

13.Outrageous Apparel & Accessories

14.Parliament

15.Police

16.Religion

17.The Crown

18.There’s No Place Like Home

19.Trades

20.Trains, Boats & Planes

21.Unlawful Leisure

Acknowledgments

About Author

Foreword

As a former police officer, having served in various departments across two forces, both in uniform and as a detective, I certainly saw my fair share of policing issues.

I realised very quickly that these issues are commonplace across all police forces and usually relate to human behavioural issues, i.e.- the officers themselves, rather than the system or procedures that always seem to be blamed. During my time, I personally witnessed crimes committed by police officers and interviewed police officers in relation to various allegations. I have watched officers lie in court, lie to judges to obtain search warrants, steal, burgle, assault, take drugs … in fact, the list is endless.

We must remember, however, that police are drawn from society and so reflect the same issues found within society at large. No matter how many hurdles are put in place during recruitment and selection, statistically there will always be those few bad apples, the ones who join with capricious intent.

We’ve all heard stories of members of the public being profiled, stopped on the streets and asked to account for their presence or provide their details so the police officer can "run them through or see if they’re wanted for anything". That simply must not be allowed to happen. Ordinary members of the public should be permitted to go about their daily lives without having such suspicion fall upon them. The author, Monty Lord, has written at length about public rights in this book. With very few exceptions, the public do not have to account for their actions, provide their details to a police officer upon demand, or even speak to them. Obviously, if you’re one of those ‘naughty’ members of society, intent on a life of crime, you deserve the full force of the law.

Fortunately, as bad as some police officers are, the majority are nonetheless law-abiding citizens and some genuinely do care about the public they serve in their capacity as Crown servants. It is these officers that rightly earn the title ‘His Majesty’s Finest’. I am proud to say the majority of those I personally served with were hard-working, compassionate and on the correct side of the law.

Laws are very important. I am a great believer in justice and the author, Monty Lord, has certainly done the reader a valuable service with his knowledge on policing procedures and the law, interweaved with an amusing legal commentary on some of our most bizarre laws ever passed. Of course, I am biased about the author. He is, after all, my son.

I hope you enjoy this read as much as I have.

Fabian Lord

Former Police Officer:

Greater Manchester Police

Cleveland Constabulary

Preface

It was a warm spring afternoon, and I found myself sitting on the train, travelling down to see the Prime Minister at No.10 Downing Street, London. A gentleman dressed in a sharp suit sat opposite me, occasionally popping his head out from behind the newspaper he was reading in front of his face. An article on the front page of his newspaper attracted my attention. It was about a seldom used ancient law. I pulled out my phone and began to do some research into the matter. It was this moment that sparked my further research. This continued on the journey home, exhausting my phone battery. Half a year later, I finally reconciled myself to the fact that my research for this book is now concluded. I say that as I look at several folders of unused material on my shelf, just prime for a follow-up.

I have always had an interest in the law. I started writing this book at the age of 16. Now 17 and with a burning passion for children’s rights and ensuring equal representation through law. This was the topic of my TEDx talk and both speeches at Amnesty International HQ and the United Nations in Geneva.

Have you ever heard a bizarre saying and wondered about its origins or even whether it is true? Things like whether a Welsh person can be shot in Chester or can a woman urinate in a police constable’s helmet? Within these pages, you will find the answers to those questions and some other curious customs we have developed over the centuries. This book series in three volumes, seeks to inspire, amuse, shock and educate. Yes, all at the same time.

During my endless hours spent researching for this book in the British Library reading rooms and other locations around the UK, I had to absorb a wealth of information. What started as a small research project expanded to fill an unfathomable amount of my hard drive. At times, researching our ancient laws felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Probably the most challenging aspect of the research process was each time I encountered an ancient manuscript written in Norman French. I can tell you now that Google Translate isn’t much help!

Ultimately, I found it a very rewarding process, especially when I came across the occasional golden nugget … those laws that are so bizarre, even their very existence is questionable.

I wish you well. Enjoy reading, and please drop me a note to let me know how you found the book.

Monty Lord

Lancashire, England (2022)

www.MontyLord.com

Intro

Our legal system is a veritable Pandora’s box of customs, traditions and laws passed over the centuries to protect the people and regulate society.

Browsing through the old Statutes-at-Large books and ancient manuscripts, you get a very real sense of why many of these absurd laws were passed in the first place. Generally, laws were created to address concerns in society at that time. If someone from a century ago were to review today’s laws, they’d marvel at the seeming absurdity of some of our modern-day laws covering aeronautical activities, mobile phones and social media. Through contemporary eyes, it may appear that some of our earlier laws were likewise bizarre. It is important to understand that all laws are passed with good reason … well, what perhaps seemed a good reason at the time.

What we now call ‘The Law of The Land’ is split into two categories: common law and statute law. After the Norman Conquest of 1066, Common law evolved from local customs, which later became recognised and accepted by the visiting judges in the King’s Court (Curia Regis). It has been developed over the centuries by the decisions and precedents made in the High Courts. Interestingly, Parliament may pass statute laws, but it falls to the judges of the High Court to interpret the meaning of these laws in any way they wish.

An Act of Parliament (also called a Statute) is a law made by Parliament. An Act starts its life as a Bill. When approved by both Houses of Parliament (The House of Commons and The House of Lords), it must then receive Royal Assent from the Sovereign, after which it becomes part of Statute Law.

Regularly, Acts of Parliament are passed to repeal old, irrelevant or outdated laws. Statute law also delegates power to other authorities, such as ministers and local councils, to set local regulations under subordinate legislation, providing for their own penalties. These delegated ‘subordinate’ regulations come in the form of local bylaws, statutory instruments and codes. They all have a parent Act that provides the authority to make them. The Highway Code is an excellent example of this.

The law books can become filled with stagnant laws. Over the years, these have become so outdated that they eventually lose relevance and at times, verge on the ludicrous. These ancient laws can’t litter the law books for eternity, and remain there until repealed.

In 1965, a new independent body, The Law Commission, was set up to review many of the ancient laws in public consultation and to recommend to the government which laws needed to be repealed to tidy up the law books. They review all aspects of law for reform, including criminal, public, commercial, property, and family and trust law. It prunes the statute books of hundreds of outdated regulations and laws. This sounds like a lot, but when you consider that, on average, around 3,000 new pages are added to the law books each year, you get a sense of the enormity of their task. It must feel like painting the Forth Bridge or like the Greek ruler Sisyphus, condemned to roll a heavy boulder up a hill for all eternity.

In this Volume II of the Bizarre Laws & Curious Customs of The UK book series, you will find 21 chapters, separated into the various aspects of our British life, each containing some fantastic examples of bizarre laws. Many more outlandish laws, claims, local myths and legends came to light whilst researching this book. They are too numerous to mention and perhaps material for a future book. To keep this book pure and factual, all content has been backed by documentary evidence, with a minimum of three trusted secondary sources. A book filled to the brim with myths, salacious, and other apocryphal statements would undoubtedly sell many more copies. On the very few occasions where something has been unable to be provenanced through multiple trusted sources, this has been indicated in the text with the necessary caveat.

"Justice in the life and conduct of the State is possible only as first it resides in the hearts and souls of the citizens."

(Plato)

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One last thing …

Before you delve into the pages of this book, there is one more thing I would like to mention. As this book deals with the topic of law, it has been written within the terms of Section 6 of The Interpretation Act (1978), which seeks to avoid the constant use of the terms ‘he’ and ‘she’. Irrespective of what pronoun you use, the gender you were born, or how you presently identify, no offence is intended when the law refers to one specific gender. The law has historically been written using masculine pronouns. Unless expressly stated, masculine and feminine genders are interchangeable within the text. Please bear that in mind. Also, please realise that the nature of this book takes a tongue-in-cheek look at the absurdity of some of our ancient laws. In today’s society, many of these may appear bigoted, homophobic, racist, xenophobic and particularly harsh towards certain elements of society.

I would hope that most readers would take a commonsense approach and realise that it’s illegal to hang, draw and quarter people, drive along a motorway with a person carrying a red flag walking in front of the car, or even convey a corpse in the back of a taxi. It goes without saying that none of the information contained within this book constitutes legal advice and is provided for general information purposes only. If you insist on using this book to test the law to its limits, I would first consult either a lawyer, a mental health practitioner, an exorcist ... or perhaps all three.

Chapter one

A Nation of Animal Lovers

There are some incredulous loopholes in our great legal system. The laws surrounding animals and fish provide some good examples, from the mundane to the entirely insane. You can own a marauding tiger as a pet, but touch a lowly sturgeon fish, and you can find yourself behind bars very fast.

Dog walkers in Daventry better beware; they have passed some stringent laws in that Northamptonshire market town to ensure your dog walking conforms to the prescribed set of conditions laid out by the local council.

Travelling around with animals can, at times, drive you barking mad. As you will shortly read, going on a journey with an unrestrained hamster or guinea pig in your car could be illegal. If you choose to travel by bus, don’t take your rabid dog with you.

This chapter addresses some of the absurdities in the law surrounding animals and fish, passed to reflect what a nation of animal lovers we are. Therefore, it is unusual that we uncover some legal cases where animals have been put on trial.

"One touch of nature makes the whole world kin."

William Shakespeare

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Illegal to Own a Sturgeon But

Not a Pet Tiger

Around twenty-eight different species of whales and dolphins can be regularly seen around the UK coastline. Minke whales are the most common species seen around our coastal waters. They are especially prevalent off the West Coast of Scotland and in the North Sea during the summertime. The Fin whales are the second most common whale species in our waters. We frequently get other species, such as Pilot whales, Humpback whales and Sperm whales. In 2018, we even had a visit from a Beluga whale swimming up the River Thames in London.

According to an ancient law, all whales and sturgeon found within the kingdom, whether alive or dead, are property of His Majesty The King. This includes any beached whales. Over time, this law became interpreted to mean that any whales or sturgeon found must first be offered to the monarch, who would then decide what should happen to them. Historically, anyone who discovered a wreck or Royal fish would have to declare them to the ‘Receiver of Wreck’ who acted as a ‘coroner of the seas’.

In 1322, King Edward II passed an Act called Prerogativa Regis (Of the King’s Prerogatives). Under this Act, all whales and sturgeon may be considered ‘Royal fish’ and property of the monarch of England. The Act states, "… the King shall have Wreck of the Sea throughout the Realm, Whales and [great] Sturgeons taken in the Sea or elsewhere within the Realm, except in certain Places privileged by the King." This would now also include porpoises and dolphins. This law is still live on the statute books, although the monarch’s automatic entitlement to all ‘Wreck of the Sea’ was removed by the Merchant Shipping Act (1894). Section 523 of that Act still entitles the monarch to any unclaimed ‘Wreck of the Sea’. In recent years whales and sturgeon have been firmly wrapped in so much legislation you can barely look at them without committing an offence.

Under Sections 45 and 47 of the Conservation of Offshore Marine Habitats and Species Regulations (2017), it is an offence to capture, kill or keep a whale found any distance between 12 and 200 nautical miles from our coast. From the coast to 12 nautical miles, whales and sturgeon are protected under Section 9 of the Wildlife and Countryside Act (1981) and Sections 43 and 45 of the Conservation of Habitats and Species Regulations (2017).

The Common European Sturgeon is now critically endangered, making it more endangered than the black rhino. The updated government guidance now states, "If a dead sturgeon is caught it should be returned to the sea if the skipper cannot get through to an MMO [Marine Management Organisation] office immediately. It is important that any live fish are immediately returned to the sea unharmed. Due to the critical state of common sturgeon population numbers, the survival of each fish is essential."

In June 2004, Robert Davies from Llanelli in Wales had caught a sturgeon in Swansea Bay. He was aware of this ancient law and promptly contacted the Queen’s Receiver of Wrecks, offering the sturgeon to Her Majesty. The Royal household sent a fax to Mr. Davies indicating that The Queen had declined the fish and suggested that Mr. Davies was entitled to "dispose of it as he saw fit."

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Davies then drove to Plymouth to sell the sturgeon at auction. In the meantime, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs officials had alerted the local constabulary, Devon and Cornwall Police. The police attended and halted the sale of Davies’s 10-foot-long 120kg sturgeon fish on the suspicion that it was being sold illegally and that Mr. Davies was in breach of the ancient law Prerogativa Regis. Davies had, in fact, arranged to sell the sturgeon to a local restaurant for £700. The police stated that it was an offence to sell or offer a protected species for sale and that a sturgeon was protected under modern law. The maximum penalty was a fine of up to £5,000 or six months imprisonment. However, it was accepted that everyone involved had acted in good faith, especially as the Royal household had indicated that it would be okay for Mr. Davies to sell the fish as his own. Being the focus of all this attention, the sturgeon finally ended up in the Natural History Museum.

For centuries, it has been believed that the head of any dead whale found on the British coast is automatically the property of the King. Also, the tail of any whale found in similar circumstances is the property of the Queen. This originates from another ancient law or custom from the mediaeval period in which there was a legal treatise known as Bracton. In ‘The Commentaries on the Laws of England’ by Sir William Blackstone in 1765, he claimed that the reason for this rule was that the Queen could have an ample supply of whalebone for her corset stays.

Interestingly, under the Dangerous Wild Animals Act (1976), it is legal to keep a tiger as a pet, provided you have a licence for it from your local council. However, as we have seen, it is illegal to own a pet whale or a sturgeon.

It is Illegal to Convey an Unrestrained Hamster or Guinea Pig in Your Motor Car

Imagine the embarrassment of being pulled over and asked, "Is your guinea pig wearing a seatbelt, sir?" This may very well happen. So many dog owners regularly take their dogs for a drive in the car with them. It’s the same for cat owners also, although they generally travel in boxes. Whether it’s a dog, a cat, a hamster, a guinea pig, a tiger or even a sheep, the law now requires that they be suitably restrained whilst the vehicle is in motion.

Rule 57 of the Highway Code states, "When in a vehicle, make sure dogs or other animals are suitably restrained so they cannot distract you while you are driving or injure you, or themselves, if you stop quickly. A seat belt harness, pet carrier, dog cage or dog guard are ways of restraining animals in cars."

Before we all start shouting bah-humbug, if you think about it, the requirement for this law does make sense. Those who have travelled in a vehicle with a pet will know how distracting they can sometimes be. A dog barking or trying to nuzzle its way onto the driver’s lap or a hamster escaping from its cage and running around the footwells are all distractions. Any distraction whilst driving is a collision waiting to happen.

There are those who believe the Highway Code is not law and instead just a ‘code of conduct’ for drivers to follow. This is not true. The Highway Code