Bizarre Laws & Curious Customs of the UK (The Compendium)

By Monty Lord

'A fascinating list of absurdities ... an extraordinary work ... remarkable and praiseworthy ... an extraordinary achievement.' - Sir Michael Parkinson CBE - Broadcaster, journalist & author

 

In the UK, we have some bizarre laws that have littered the statute books of our sceptred isle throughout history. Not all of them have been repealed over the centuries. Some of them made perfect sense at the time they were introduced but seen through modern eyes, now appear archaic and draconian. Despite the great efforts of the Law Commission in England and Wales to review and recommend reforms for many of these outdated laws, there are centuries of law that must be painstakingly gone through.

 

As well as some bizarre laws, the UK also has its fair share of curious customs and time-honoured traditions that have been observed for centuries. On the surface, many appear to be nothing more than theatrical pomp and pageantry. However, they are all born from strong rationale.

 

The UK parliament seems to have had a particular penchant for passing laws related to fish and animals, indecency and passing sentences with some humiliating public punishments.

 

This compendium book, a combination of all 3 volumes from this book series, is a highly entertaining read for anyone who enjoys learning about the more bizarre applications of UK law throughout the centuries, along with some rather macabre consequences along the way.

 

Have you ever heard a bizarre law and thought, that can't possibly be true? Is it genuine? Was it ever in existence or just an urban myth that became so embellished over time? There are surprisingly, a great many laws still in existence on the statute books today, that would make your jaw drop. Whilst bizarre as these laws may now seem to us, it begs the question, are we in fact, unknowingly breaking these laws on a regular basis?

 

For example...

• It is illegal to own a pet whale but not a tiger
• It is illegal to keep a 'lunatic' without a licence
• Unsurprisingly, it is illegal to cause a nuclear explosion
• Magistrates are legally required to bind over every person of good behaviour
• It is illegal for any person to be drunk in a pub
• Granny farming is illegal during general elections
• It is illegal to be found on church grounds, dressed as a giant gerbil whilst digging up the petunias

 

...all these questions and more will be answered in this latest book by Monty Lord, with a foreword by the former Lord Chancellor, The Rt Hon Sir Robert Buckland KBE KC MP.

 

Reading this book, you may be inclined to laugh heartily, let out a sorrowful cry or recoil in abject horror at some of the more gruesome sentences passed for breaking these weird laws.

 

With over 440 bizarre but nevertheless true, laws and customs, you can use this book to satisfy your curiosity about what our ancestors had to contend with over the years, or perhaps as a reference guide for trivia quizzes.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Young Legal Eagles
• Release date: May 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9781739748821

Book preview

Praise for Bizarre Laws

‘A fascinating list of absurdities ... an extraordinary work ... remarkable and praiseworthy ... an extraordinary achievement.’

Sir Michael Parkinson CBE

Broadcaster, journalist & author

‘Well assembled and written … an enjoyable and fascinating book.’

William Roache, OBE

Actor, ‘Ken Barlow’ in Coronation Street

‘Monty Lord’s brilliant writing makes this book accessible to everyone.’

The Rt Hon Sir Robert Buckland KBE KC MP

Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain (2019-21)

Secretary of State for Justice (2019-21)

Solicitor General for England and Wales (2014-19)

‘A curious, comical and highly entertaining read, full of eccentric laws and customs that have led to our rich legal heritage.’

Lubna Shuja

President of The Law Society of England and Wales

‘An engaging and light-hearted portrayal of the judicial system over the centuries, presented by an extraordinary 17-year-old.’

Cherie Blair CBE, KC

‘Lots of fun to be had here!’

Sir. Peter Wanless, CB – Chief Executive, NSPCC

‘Funny and fascinating from beginning to end.’

Chris Daw KC

‘An endlessly fascinating journey … Impeccably researched … impossible to put down. A truly remarkable book.’

Tracy Borman

Chief Curator for HM Historic Royal Palaces

‘This is a terrific book, entertaining, informative and quirky.’

HH Nigel Lithman KC - former Crown Court Judge

‘A rich spectrum of tasty clues to our nation’s story … A jolly read.’

Major General Alastair Bruce of Crionaich OBE VR

The Governor of Edinburgh Castle

‘A wonderful romp around the roots of laws and customs, together with some surprising revelations of those rules still hanging onto the statute books … packed with wry observations around detailed research and tied with a ribbon of enjoyment.’

Kirsty Brimelow KC

Chair, Criminal Bar Association of England and Wales

Recorder and Deputy High Court Judge

‘Monty Lord is clearly going to be one of those people who makes the weather … a wonderful compendium … a lively read from a lively mind.’

Sir. Julian Brazier TD - former MP and government minister

Defence Select Committee, 21 SAS(R)

‘An easy and amusing read, full of fascinating material.’

William Hunt, TD, FCA

Portcullis Pursuivant of Arms (1992-99)

Windsor Herald of Arms (1999-2017)

‘An erudite young author, Monty Lord’s voyage through some of the laws that have defined our nation over the centuries reveals a wisdom beyond his years.’

Jo Sidhu KC

Chair of the Criminal Bar Association (2021-22)

Bar Council of England and Wales (2023-26)

‘A cornucopia of eccentric, fascinating laws and practices. This book is a must for anyone interested in legal history with a cracking sense of humour.’

Sasha Wass KC – Barrister (6KBW)

‘A delightful and humorous exploration of the absurdities of the legal system … with a masterful blend of history, law, and absurdity.’

Professor Leslie Thomas KC - Barrister, Professor of Law

‘Thoroughly researched, well-written and entertaining.’

Nick De Marco KC – Barrister, Blackstone Chambers

‘A dazzling kaleidoscope of UK laws and customs from the arcane and bizarre to the downright alarming … A gem of a collection from a rising star. Highly recommended.’

Barnaby Jameson KC – Barrister

Co-editor of Archbold Criminal Pleading and author

‘An insightful, witty, clever, comprehensive, and sometimes jaw dropping examination of our justice system in the UK.’

Keith Fraser

Chair of the Youth Justice Board for England and Wales

Former Superintendent - West Midlands Police

‘A series of fascinating topics, well written and carefully connected.’

Timothy W. Brennand

HM Senior Coroner, Manchester West

‘Compelling and immensely readable.’

Nazir Afzal OBE

Former Chief Crown Prosecutor for NW England

Chancellor of the University of Manchester

‘Incredible writing … intuitive, relevant, topical, informative whilst being highly entertaining! This book is warm, funny, moving and relatable for every age!’

Tina Malone - English actress

Shameless, Brookside, Dinnerladies

Celeb Big Brother, Celeb MasterChef

‘An amazing feat of scholarship, beautifully written, interwoven with humour.’

Professor Jerome Carson

Psychology Department, University of Bolton

‘An enjoyable, insightful and informative … entertaining and an easy read.’

Professor Lennard Funk

Trauma & Orthopaedic Surgeon & author

‘Entertaining and engagingly written.’

Professor Jon Stobart, FRHS

Social History, Manchester Metropolitan University

‘Littered with wonderful gems and arcane trivia from our legal history.’

Professor Jay Cullen

Head of School of Law, Criminology & Policing

Edge Hill University

‘Bizarre, funny and sometimes scary!’

Hamza Taouzzale

The Right Worshipful the Lord Mayor of Westminster

‘It’s hard to believe some of these laws and customs actually existed.’

Cllr Akhtar Zaman - Mayor of Bolton

‘Educative, Hilarious & Inspiring!’

Saeed Atcha MBE DL

Deputy Lieutenant of Greater Manchester

‘A veritable delight to read and will provide many a conversation starter for years to come!’

Cllr Neil Darby - Mayor of Preston

‘It’s like Horrible Histories for grown-ups!’

Lady Guli Sheikh

‘Monty answers all those questions that every young person wants to ask of their history teacher but doesn’t, for fear of a lunchtime detention!’

Tony McCabe – Headteacher

St. Joseph’s RC High School, Horwich, Bolton

‘Well-written and enjoyable book.’

David Boyle – Barrister (Deans Court Chambers)

‘Fascinating, often hilarious historical insights into the eccentricities of the British legal system are presented in this eloquently written volume that is sure to delight the reader.’

Sarah Magill - Barrister (Lincoln House)

‘What a journey this book takes you on! I cannot believe how many of these laws come as a complete surprise … it is a real eye opener.’

Claire Parrott - Managing Partner

Tuckers Solicitors (Northwest and Yorkshire)

‘A canter through weird and wonderful laws … delivered in an easy to read, humorous and sarcastic manner.’

Oli McCann

Partner, Napthens Solicitors (Blackburn)

‘Each page is an eye opener.’

Jonathan Holling - Solicitor (Manchester)

Crufts host and media broadcaster

‘A triumph! A devilishly fun and informative insight into the mad, bad and arcane world of British laws and customs.’

Owen Mather - Teacher, Head of Politics

Runshaw college, Leyland

‘In this well-written and informative book, Monty Lord unravels the dusty tapestry of our legal system with striking clarity and eloquence, providing an enlightening, sapient legal commentary of some of the most bizarre laws ever passed.’

The Rt. Hon. Nigel Evans MP

Deputy Speaker (The House of Commons)

Shadow Secretary of State for Wales (2001-03)

‘Funny and informative in equal measure. Highly recommended.’

Robert Cobourne

Course Leader Religious Studies, Humanities

Runshaw College, Leyland

‘A fun and highly readable trip through the absurdities of the law … Monty is a great tour guide to keep us smiling and laughing our way through this historical journey.’

Dr Pauline Whelan

Co-Director GM Digital Centre for Health Informatics

University of Manchester

‘A hard hitting, page turning brilliantly disturbing book! Essential reading for those in, and outside, the law.’

Dominic D’Souza, Barrister

Head of Crime (Goldsmith Chambers)

‘A veritable cornucopia of bizarre laws ... everyone breathing should read it!’

Monty Jivraj - Senior Tax Litigation Specialist

‘Eye-opening, amusing, terrifying, disconcerting and educational, in equal measure.’

Georgia Cooper

President of Durham University Bar Society

‘A fascinating and comprehensive book … an essential read … Monty is an emerging legal voice that will be a force to be reckoned with.’

Ife Obasa

Law student, University of Southampton

‘Fascinating, entertaining and Utterly Brilliant.’

Timmy Mallett

TV presenter, broadcaster, and artist

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Copyright © 2023 by MONTGOMERY LORD

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system,

or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy,

recording, scanning, or other — without permission in writing from the

publisher, except by reviewers, who may quote brief passages in a review.

The right of Monty Lord to be identified as the Author of this work has been asserted

by him in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act, 1988.

A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.

ISBN 978-1-7397488-0-7 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-916605-13-8 (hardback)

ISBN 978-1-7397488-1-4 (audiobook)

ISBN 978-1-7397488-2-1 (eBook)

Cover Design: Rhianna Whiteside, Casey-Lee Herbert

& Studio 22 (Runshaw College, Lancashire)

Illustrations by: Priya Ajith

Published in England, United Kingdom, by Young Legal Eagles®

a trademark of Young Legal Eagles Ltd.

www.YoungLegalEagles.com

I dedicate this book to my parents and my friends, past, present and future, for the love and strength they give me.

I also dedicate this book to the many hard-working men and women in the legal system. So many names over the centuries, forgotten or excluded but nonetheless have had such an impact on the lives of so many through the creation, clever interpretation and commonsense reform and application of the laws of this land.

To Frankie, thank-you for sticking around and always supporting me, even when I do weird things like writing this book.

" It is the glory of English Law, that its roots are sunk deep into the soil of national history; that it is the slow product of the age long growth of the national life ."

Edward Jenks, FBA

Contents

Foreword

Preface

Introduction

1.An Englishman’s Home Isn’t His Castle

2.Animals & Fish

3.Apparel, Accessories & Appearance

4.Assault, Injury & Death

5.Behaviour

6.Carnal Knowledge & Indecency

7.Courts

8.Curious Customs

9.Death

10.Drunkenness

11.Entertainment

12.Execution

13.Food & Drink

14.Foreigners

15.Government & Military

16.Justice

17.Money

18.Parliament

19.Parliamentary Customs

20.Police

21.Punishment & Torture

22.Religion & Puritanical Behaviour

23.Roads, Pathways & Waterways

24.The Royal Household

25.Trades

26.Transport

27.Witchcraft & Other Sorcery

Acknowledgments

About Author

Foreword

It’s no insult to describe perceptions of Britain as in some ways being rather eccentric, but I would prefer to describe our country as unique. What may seem like eccentricity in some of our laws and customs, have actually contributed to a country which is the envy of the world in many areas, from our legal system to our parliamentary democracy. Few other countries have such a rich and deep legal history, stretching back over a thousand years. Unlike our neighbours in France, or our cousins across the Atlantic, we’re not too fond of revolutions here in the UK. Aside from the brief and unfortunate republican experiment in the 1650s, we’re not a country which has ever ripped up the rulebook and started from scratch. Our institutions, our laws and our democracy have evolved organically over the past millennium, changing where necessary, but retaining the (mostly) harmless quirks which make our constitution so fascinating.

Given that these curiosities are spread throughout hundreds of statutes, centuries of common law and other sporadic sources, it is fantastic to see them all succinctly described in this book. Monty Lord demonstrates an incredibly deep understanding of the UK’s constitutional and legal heritage, and conveys to the reader these complex customs in a clear and entertaining way.

I have been very privileged in my career to encounter many of these unique customs at first hand. It’s always exciting to be in the House of Commons during a State Opening of Parliament when the doorkeepers dramatically slam the doors shut as Black Rod approaches, before we head down to the House of Lords to listen to the Monarch. And as Justice Secretary I had the great honour of concurrently being ‘Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain’, an office whose origins date back to before 1066. As an MP, I feel incredibly privileged to be part of such an ancient institution, and after reading this book I shall walk around the Palace of Westminster with a renewed sense of appreciation for the weird and wonderful history of our democracy.

Monty Lord’s brilliant writing makes this book accessible to everyone, whether you’re a former Cabinet Minister or you know nothing about the British constitution. Even as someone who has served in both the legal profession and in Parliament, this book has taught me so many fascinating things which I never knew before. For example, I was greatly intrigued to learn that in the 17th century there was once a 13 year old MP! Maybe that explains why the House of Commons sometimes feels like a school playground. And I had no idea that it was once illegal for lawyers to sit in Parliament. As a barrister myself I am very glad that rule has long since been repealed!

This book is also incredibly useful in debunking some of the urban myths that have inevitably arisen over the years. As a Welshman I was very glad to read that I can travel to Chester or Hereford safely, without the threat of execution! Given the complex sources of many of these supposed customs, Monty Lord has done a fantastic job in sorting the fact from the fiction and identifying which customs no longer apply today, or in some cases never did.

It is quite astonishing to find such a comprehensive and well-researched book written by someone who is only 17. Given all that he has achieved in the first chapter of his life, I am eager to see what is in store for Monty Lord in the decades to come. I am sure he will achieve great things, but I am not ashamed to show my bias and hope that he pursues a career as a lawyer. And I hope that other young people reading this book also develop the same love of the law that Monty and I clearly share. It is a privilege to practice law in a country with such a rich legal heritage, and I hope this book inspires more people to enter the legal profession, where they can encounter these fascinating customs first hand.

The Rt Hon Sir Robert Buckland KBE KC MP

Lord High Chancellor of Great Britain (2019-21)

Secretary of State for Justice (2019-21)

Solicitor General for England and Wales (2014-19)

Preface

It was a warm spring afternoon, and I found myself sitting on the train, travelling down to see the Prime Minister at No.10 Downing Street, London. A gentleman dressed in a sharp suit sat opposite me, occasionally popping his head out from behind the newspaper he was reading in front of his face. An article on the front page of his newspaper attracted my attention. It was about a seldom used ancient law. I pulled out my phone and began to do some research into the matter. It was this moment that sparked my further research. This continued on the journey home, exhausting my phone battery. Half a year later, I finally reconciled myself to the fact that my research for this book is now concluded. I say that as I look at several folders of unused material on my shelf, just prime for a follow-up.

I have always had an interest in the law. I started writing this book at the age of 16. Now 17 and with a burning passion for children’s rights and ensuring equal representation through law. This was the topic of my TEDx talk and both speeches at Amnesty International HQ and the United Nations in Geneva.

Have you ever heard a bizarre saying and wondered about its origins or even whether it is true? Things like whether a Welsh person can be shot in Chester or can a woman urinate in a police constable’s helmet? Within these pages, you will find the answers to those questions and some other curious customs we have developed over the centuries. This book seeks to inspire, amuse, shock and educate. Yes, all at the same time.

During my endless hours spent researching for this book in the British Library reading rooms and other locations around the UK, I had to absorb a wealth of information. What started as a small research project expanded to fill an unfathomable amount of my hard drive. At times, researching our ancient laws felt like Alice falling down the rabbit hole. Probably the most challenging aspect of the research process was each time I encountered an ancient manuscript written in Norman French. I can tell you now that Google Translate isn’t much help!

Ultimately, I found it a very rewarding process, especially when I came across the occasional golden nugget … those laws that are so bizarre, even their very existence is questionable.

I wish you well. Enjoy reading, and please drop me a note to let me know how you found the book.

Monty Lord

Lancashire, England (2022)

www.MontyLord.com

Introduction

Our legal system is a veritable Pandora’s box of customs, traditions and laws passed over the centuries to protect the people and regulate society.

A quick browse through the archives and ancient manuscripts produces some astonishing finds of laws passed to regulate activity and behaviour at the time, which now seem wholly absurd and anachronistic. In many cases, these laws still live on our statute books. Some are outlandishly bizarre, almost like they were created to amuse and entertain those, like us, who may read them centuries later. It is important to understand that all laws are passed with good reason … well, what perhaps seemed a good reason at the time.

So, how did some of these bizarre laws ever come into existence?

Æthelberht, King of Kent (560-616AD), can be credited with introducing the first written Anglo-Saxon laws in England. Previously, the law had been unwritten and passed down generations orally, often subject to the vagaries of memory. With the accession of King Alfred the Great (871-899AD), many of our rules became based on those used by the Germanic people of Northern Europe. Local customs and traditions set the standards for people living in individual communities. In these early days, the church and ecclesiastical law played a large part.

In the 12th century, the Crown became more involved in the judicial system. From 1176, the Crown-appointed Royal Judges began to visit the different regions to dispense justice from Westminster. King Henry II divided the country into ‘circuits’ (areas) for his judges to visit. They were so feared that when they attended a small Cornish village in 1233, the entire community literally fled and hid in the nearby woods. The visiting judges, upon returning to London, would share their knowledge of local customs and, from there, decide upon a common set of laws for the whole country to follow. This became the ‘common law’. Towards the end of the 13th century, the visits from the Royal Judges gave way to local courts known as ‘the assizes’.

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The punishments used to be a lot harsher too. In mediaeval times, trial by ordeal was an acceptable method to determine a person’s guilt, until banned by Pope Innocent III in 1215. This saw the accused being subjected to horrific activities often involving fire, water or combat, with their innocence or guilt supposedly being decided by God alone. Trial by jury was offered in the 1220s, but people often refused to submit to a jury. With the passing of the first Statute of Westminster in 1275, those unwilling to submit to the jury system were imprisoned and tortured until they either submitted to trial by jury or died.

From the 13th century onwards, we began to see an increase in the amount of legislation passed by the Kings.

What we now call ‘The Law of The Land’ is split into two categories: common law and statute law. After the Norman Conquest of 1066, Common law evolved from local customs, which later became recognised and accepted by the visiting judges in the King’s Court (Curia Regis). It has been developed over the centuries by the decisions and precedents made in the High Courts. Many old common law offences have since been incorporated into various Acts of Parliament, becoming statute law. Interestingly, Parliament may pass statute laws, but it falls to the judges of the High Court to interpret the meaning of these laws in any way they wish.

An Act of Parliament (also called a Statute) is a law made by Parliament. An Act starts its life as a Bill. When approved by both Houses of Parliament (The House of Commons and The House of Lords), it must then receive Royal Assent by the monarch, after which it becomes part of Statute Law.

Over the years, statute law has redefined offences under common law. With society changing at such an alarming rate, more Acts are passed each year to modify our behaviour and define new societal norms. Regularly, Acts of Parliament are passed to repeal old, irrelevant or outdated laws. Statute law also delegates power to other authorities, such as ministers and local councils, to set local regulations under subordinate legislation, providing for their own penalties. These delegated ‘subordinate’ regulations come in the form of local bylaws, statutory instruments and codes. They all have a parent Act that provides the authority to make them. The Highway Code is an excellent example of this.

The law books can become filled with stagnant laws derived from the time’s social conditions and concerns. Over the years, these have become so outdated that they eventually lose relevance and verge on the absurd. These ancient laws can’t litter the law books for eternity, so, over time, new laws are passed, and old ones are repealed.

In 1965, a new independent body, The Law Commission, was set up to review many of the ancient laws in public consultation and to recommend to the government which laws needed to be repealed to tidy up the law books. They review all aspects of law for reform, including criminal, public, commercial, property, and family and trust law. It prunes the statute books of hundreds of outdated regulations and laws. This sounds like a lot, but when you consider that, on average, around 3,000 new pages are added to the law books each year, you get a sense of the enormity of their task. It must feel like painting the Forth Bridge or like the Greek ruler Sisyphus, condemned to roll a heavy boulder up a hill for all eternity.

Scotland has their own Law Commission that performs the same function but reviewing and pruning outdated Scottish laws.

This book contains 27 chapters, separated into the various aspects of our British life, each containing some fantastic examples of bizarre laws. Many more outlandish laws, claims, local myths and legends came to light whilst researching this book. They are too numerous to mention and perhaps material for a future book. To keep this book pure and factual, all content has been backed by documentary evidence, with a minimum of three trusted secondary sources. A book filled to the brim with myths, salacious, and other apocryphal statements would undoubtedly sell many more copies. On the very few occasions where something has been unable to be provenanced through multiple trusted sources, this has been indicated in the text with the necessary caveat.

A fellow author told me to explain to my readers how to use this book. Well, frankly, that’s entirely up to you. However, I will point out this book is multi-functional: a compendium of wisdom and absurdity; a reference book for law students; a door stop; an insect swatter; a shield to protect your eyes from stray Norman arrows; or an implement to softly repel inquisitive hobgoblins … the decision is entirely yours!

What you’re going to find between the covers of this book will hopefully also give you an insight into a lot of the history of our sceptred isle. Laws are, after all, passed to deal with contemporary issues of the time. The insight it provides us is invaluable.

"Ultimately, law is just common sense with knobs on."

(The Rt Hon Lord Sumption, OBE, FRHistS, FSA)

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One last thing …

Before you delve into the pages of this book, there is one more thing I would like to mention. As this book deals with the topic of law, it has been written within the terms of Section 6 of The Interpretation Act (1978), which seeks to avoid the constant use of the terms ‘he’ and ‘she’. Irrespective of what pronoun you use, the gender you were born, or how you presently identify, no offence is intended when the law refers to one specific gender. The law has historically been written using masculine pronouns. Unless expressly stated, masculine and feminine genders are interchangeable within the text. Please bear that in mind. Also, please realise that the nature of this book takes a tongue-in-cheek look at the absurdity of some of our ancient laws. In today’s society, many of these may appear bigoted, homophobic, racist, xenophobic and particularly harsh towards certain elements of society.

I would hope that most readers would take a commonsense approach and realise that it’s illegal to hang, draw and quarter people, drive along a motorway with a person carrying a red flag walking in front of the car, or even convey a corpse in the back of a taxi. It goes without saying that none of the information contained within this book constitutes legal advice and is provided for general information purposes only. If you insist on using this book to test the law to its limits, I would first consult either a lawyer, a mental health practitioner, an exorcist ... or perhaps all three.

Chapter one

An Englishman’s Home Isn’t His Castle

It’s a funny old world. One minute you can be going about your ordinary everyday business; the next, you find yourself in the back of a police van, being carted off to the cells. There are some very bizarre and archaic laws in our land. The Law Commission has managed to repeal many of them. However, many are still clinging on, ready to pop up when you least expect them.

They say an Englishman’s home is his castle, but unless you’re the Sovereign, I’m sorry to tell you, this statement is simply not true.

Not only is your home likely not a castle, but you technically can’t even own the land upon which it is built.

If that doesn’t make you feel insecure enough, don’t even think about having a neighbourly dispute over trees, overgrown bushes, or an overly smoky barbecue.

If all this causes you to go stir crazy, not to worry, there’s an old law that allows one ‘lunatic’ to be kept per household.

"The house of every one is to him as his Castle and Fortress as well

for defence against injury and violence, as for his repose."

Sir. Edward Coke

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Only Permitted to Keep One Lunatic in Your House

The Madhouses Act (1774) ensured that property owners were only permitted to keep one ‘lunatic’ per residence. If you wanted to house more than one lunatic, you were required to apply for a licence to keep them. It’s certainly a bizarre law. The Act was passed to regulate what we now refer to as psychiatric hospitals.

Previously, such institutions were referred to as lunatic asylums. The sad fact is that whilst they started to grow in popularity during the early 1600s, as private institutions, there were no laws regulating how they were run. There was, in common law, a power to "confine a person disordered in mind, who seems disposed to do mischief to himself, or another person."

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Consequently, there were many stories of horrific abuse and patient mistreatment. One matter of particular concern was that of wrongful confinement. Quite often, rather than divorce a wife, it was easier and less dishonourable for the husband to have her committed as a ‘lunatic’. It was also a quick way to control land estates and gain early access to inheritance. In 1763, a parliamentary committee launched an investigation into the high number of people who had been wrongfully committed. In one case, a wife had been committed by her husband due to her lack of passion in the bedroom.

In 1773, MP Thomas Townshend introduced the Bill that would later lead to regulating these asylums. During his impassioned speech, he said, "Some facts have reached my knowledge which would awaken the compassion of the most callous heart; and I am assured such cruelty and injustice is shown to individuals who are often confined from interested motives."

The passing of the Madhouses Act the following year set limits on the number of patients admitted into the ‘madhouses’. The Act imposed a penalty of £500 for any person "concealing or confining" more than one insane person without a licence. So, you were permitted to keep a ‘lunatic’ just so long as you didn’t plan on keeping a collection of them.

This Act was repealed just before Queen Victoria came to the throne.

Being Homeless Is Technically Illegal

If in doubt, blame Napoleon!

History in a nutshell … Napoleon lost … We won. Our soldiers returned home from the wars, and many became homeless and took up begging to survive. The government became worried about this growing trend, so they passed the Vagrancy Act in 1824.

This 200-year-old law was passed during a very different time in our history, without the social welfare system we now have. Many of the soldiers returned from the Napoleonic wars too injured to work. As a result, they lost their livelihoods and their homes. Many took to begging on the streets, exposing their wounds in the hope of receiving some form of charitable contribution.

Parliament would struggle these days to pass a new Bill, making it illegal to be homeless and sleeping rough or begging. This is precisely what this law did. The opening preamble to the Act makes for quite grim reading. It says, "An Act for consolidating into One Act and amending the Laws relating to idle and disorderly Persons, Rogues and Vagabonds, incorrigible Rogues and other Vagrants in England."

Section 4 defines what sort of people would be deemed as ‘Rogues and Vagabonds’ and lists the following, anyone "…endeavouring by the Exposure of Wounds or Deformities to obtain or gather Alms … or endeavouring to procure charitable Contributions of any Nature or Kind, under any false or fraudulent Pretence." So that makes begging an offence.

It also concludes that the following are rogues and vagabonds, "every Person wandering abroad and lodging in any Barn or Outhouse, or in any deserted or unoccupied Building, or in the open Air, or under a Tent, or in any Cart or Waggon." This makes sleeping rough or being homeless an offence.

As an indication of how outdated this law is, towards the bottom of Section 4, it refers to offenders carrying a cutlass or bludgeon. The Act was repealed in Scotland in 1982 but remains in force today in England and Wales, making begging and sleeping rough a criminal offence. Locking someone up for homelessness is pointless and does little to reduce crime rates or improve society. Offenders could receive a fine of up to £1,000. Why anyone thought fining a homeless person was an appropriate sentence is a question to ponder.

Fortunately, arrests under the Vagrancy Act (1824) are declining. In 2017 the homelessness charity, Crisis, received responses from the 305 local authorities. This illustrated that less than a third of those authorities have made arrests to tackle homelessness and begging. In 2018, 1,320 people were prosecuted under the Vagrancy Act.

More recently, the government’s Rough Sleeping and Housing Minister, Eddie Hughes MP, said, "No-one should be criminalised simply for having nowhere to live, and it is right that we repeal the outdated Vagrancy Act."

Finally, in February 2022, an amendment was made to the Police, Crime, Courts and Sentencing Bill to enable the full repeal of the Vagrancy Act. However, this repeal will only be triggered when replacement legislation is in place. So, for the time being, being homeless is still technically illegal.

Burglar Alarms

There is nothing worse than reading a good book (obviously, this one!) and dozing off for a good eight hours in the land of slumber, only to be rudely awakened by your neighbour’s house alarm in the middle of the night. I have some good news for you. Depending upon where you live, your neighbours may be committing an offence if their burglar alarm activates, especially if they haven’t first nominated a key holder who can switch it off in their absence.

The Clean Neighbourhoods and Environment Act (2005) requires those with burglar alarms to nominate a key holder that can disarm the alarm in their absence. Sections 69 to 76 introduced these new powers to deal with noise pollution in neighbourhoods. It enables a local authority to designate an area as an ‘alarm notification area’. Any occupier or owner of premises (including commercial premises) located within that area must provide that local authority with key-holder details in case the burglar alarm is activated. It is an offence to fail to nominate a key-holder and a separate offence also to fail to notify the local authority of the key-holder’s details in writing.

For those naughty enough not to provide such details to their local council, Section 77 of the Act provides them with powers of entry to silence alarms after 20 minutes of continuous sounding or one hour of an intermittent sounding alarm.

The legislation dealing with noise nuisance from burglar alarms goes back to the Control of Pollution Act (1974). When the Code of Practice on Noise from Audible Intruder Alarms was introduced in 1982, it required alarm systems to have an automatic cut-off device to stop the alarm ringing after about 20 minutes.

Householders who still refuse to comply with the law or those who aren’t within an ‘alarm notification area’ may still commit offences. Section 79(1)(g) of the Environmental Protection Act (1990) provides that noise that is prejudicial to health or a nuisance would be classed as a statutory nuisance, and the council can take enforcement action.

Manchester City Council provides the following guidance to householders:

"Alarms fitted to your home/business or vehicle should not become a source of nuisance to your neighbours, you have a legal responsibility to ensure that any alarm activated should ring for: a maximum of 20 minutes (home/business); and your vehicle alarm should have a 5-minute cut-out device fitted. Don’t go away on holiday without notifying your neighbour or a contact - nominate a key holder who lives locally."

The law exists, and the information is out there, but very few know it’s a requirement. Most people would be inclined to leave a key and their alarm code with a neighbour. I advise contacting your local council and establishing whether you live in an ‘alarm notification area’.

You Can’t Fire a Cannon Within

300 Yards of Your House

"Glorious day, Mr. Binnacle! Glorious! No-one sleeps this morning. Put in a double charge of powder" bellowed Admiral Boom in Mary Poppins as he ordered his rooftop cannon to be fired. Unfortunately for Admiral Boom, he would be committing an offence under the Metropolitan Police Act (1839).

Section 55 of the Act states, "No person, other than persons acting in obedience to lawful authority, shall discharge any cannon or other fire-arm … within three hundred yards of any dwelling house … to the annoyance of any inhabitant thereof."

For Admiral Boom or anyone wishing to fire their cannon again, the penalty is a £200 fine. If you were thinking of heading to a popular auction website and purchasing a cannon and some cannon balls, please be advised that this Act is still live on our statute books.

You Are Legally Required to Allow Any

Person onto Your Land (in Scotland)

The title makes it sound very odd. It conjures up images of people in Edinburgh knocking on the doors of random strangers who are then legally required to allow them access to their house or garden.

For several years, a myth has been perpetuated that an ancient Scottish law legally requires a person in Scotland to let a stranger into their house to use their toilet if they request it. This is not the case. I can find no evidence of any such law. Indeed, there have never been any prosecutions for householders in Scotland refusing to allow a stranger to use their toilet. Yet it hasn’t stopped this myth from appearing in many lists of absurd or outdated laws over the last few years.

There appear to be some foundations in law that enable a person to cross over a stranger’s land in Scotland. The people of Scotland have what is sometimes referred to as a ‘right to roam’. This isn’t a carte blanche access to all areas, including private houses. It’s likely this is where the misinterpretation has come from and has led people to believe a person has a right to knock on a stranger’s door and request to use their toilet for free.

Section 1 of the Land Reform (Scotland) Act (2003) establishes that everyone in Scotland has the right to be on land for recreational purposes and may cross land for such purposes. The right to roam in Scotland is an ancient custom that allows anyone to walk unhindered through open countryside, whether the land is public or privately-owned. Surprisingly, this makes almost all Scottish land accessible. It does have some restrictions. For example, the right to roam does not include land adjacent to dwelling houses, schools, farm buildings, etc. It also doesn’t allow people to access private gardens of domestic dwellings and land used to grow crops. So, you are legally required to enable any person onto your land in Scotland, as long as it follows these restrictions.

There is a sort of right to roam in England and Wales, but it’s far more restrictive. This is embodied in the Countryside and Rights of Way Act (2000) which allows public access to mountains, moorland, heaths, and other land, including the English coastal pathways.

As of 2022, campaigners were still trying to get this public access to land extended to cover woodland, rivers and greenbelt land. Currently, 97% of rivers in England are off-limits to the public.

You Don’t Actually Own Any of Your Land

You may own your house, but how much of the land upon which it is built do you actually own? Do you own any water that may flow through it or any of the sky above it? In addressing those questions, let’s first look at what’s under your house and how far below it you own.

In reality, you don’t actually own what you have been told is your land. The Crown ultimately owns the land as the paramount feudal Lord. Therefore, even though your land deed may indicate you have ‘freehold’, this is essentially an endless lease of the land from the Crown. For example, suppose you found a large gold vein or oil reserves under your land. In that case, you’ll likely receive a compulsory purchase order from the government and have to move away. This is why, if a person dies intestate (without leaving a valid will), then the presumption is that their land reverts to the property of the Crown or Royal Duchies.

In the UK, there are very few areas where the land includes precious minerals and hydrocarbons (coal, oil and gas), which generally belong to the State. Other than mineral rights and hydrocarbons, you may be considered to own all of your land down to the centre of the Earth with the Crown’s permission. The ancient legal principle was Cuius est solum, eius est usque ad coelum et ad inferos (Latin for "whoever’s is the soil, it is theirs all the way to Heaven and all the way to hell"). This was also established in a Supreme Court ruling in 2010 that accepted the legal principle that you own all your land right down to the centre of the Earth. The Earth is spherical, so the land you own would be tapered down to the Earth’s centre. Although, with current technology, we can only dig down to around 14 km below the Earth’s surface.

When looking at what you own in terms of land, the statutory definition of land can be found in Section 205(1)(ix) of the Law of Property Act (1925). It includes "land of any tenure, and mines and minerals … buildings or parts of buildings and other corporeal hereditaments; also … incorporeal hereditaments and an easement right privilege or benefit in over or derived from land."

The ’land’ is the physical property, e.g., the soil down to the Earth’s centre. ‘Easements’ are the rights of way over a person’s land and the airspace above it. The ‘Corporeal hereditaments’ are the physical real property, such as land, buildings, trees, wild animals and minerals.

Dusting off your metal detector, you may find more than roman coins and artefacts on your land. There could be coal and oil reserves. Would you own these along with your land? Sadly not. Common law provides that you own all mines and minerals lying beneath your land unless it’s coal, oil, gas or precious metals.

As we will see elsewhere in this book, the Crown is entitled to all gold and silver found in or beneath anyone’s property. Section 9 of the Coal Industry Act (1994) provides that The Coal Authority owns all coal deposits in the UK. The Crown also owns any oil or gas deposits you may find on your land under Section 2 of the Petroleum Act (1998).

So, now we know how much land you own (or don’t own) beneath your house; how far up above your home do you own? Historically, you owned everything from the centre of the Earth all the way up to the heavens. This was before the days of space exploration and air travel. Bizarrely, this meant that you would have owned a near infinite amount of property, reaching far out into the universe. Every second, the Earth rotated around its axis; this would have brought other celestial bodies within the definition of ‘your property’.

Whilst it is nice to know that you have all that space available, it’s pretty useless because there’s not much you can do with it. Planning laws restrict how far up you can build, and you can’t stop commercial air traffic and drones from using your airspace. If you were to take the ‘up to the heavens’ maxim literally, it would mean that every time a satellite passed overhead, it would be trespassing on your land.

The reality is that you now own all airspace above your land up to the ‘lower stratum’ of air. There is no precise boundary of this airspace or any precise quantifiable figures we can put on it. Still, you are entitled to enough airspace to reasonably enjoy the land below that air.

Section 76 of the Civil Aviation Act of (1982) established that generally, a householder owns the air above their roof up to approximately 500-1,000 feet. This pocket of airspace is referred to as the ‘lower stratum’.

To simplify this complicated area of law, you own all of your land except any coal, oil, gas or precious metals. The reality is that you don’t own it. The Crown does.

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You Can Be Found Guilty of Stealing

Your Own Property

If you read this title on YouTube, you would probably imagine it was clickbait. I can assure you it is not. Can you be found guilty of stealing your own property? How is that even possible? As bizarre as this sounds, the answer to the question is, yes, you can steal your own property. This is through a quirk in the law defining theft.

The law comes from the Theft Act (1968), which defines the offence of theft as, "A person is guilty of theft if he dishonestly appropriates property belonging to another with the intention of permanently depriving the other of it."

The Act goes on to break down each individual element of that definition of theft. The piece we need to examine here is that of ‘Belonging to another’. This raises another interesting question. How on earth can your property belong to another person when it simultaneously also belongs to you? There are certain circumstances where this can happen, where the same item of property can belong to several parties simultaneously.

Section 5 of the Act states that property can belong to another where that person has ‘possession’ or ‘control’ of it. Those two words, possession and control, are key here. Possession of anything is exactly what you would imagine it to be … something that you currently have or own, such as a wallet, car, and mobile phone. Having ‘Control’ of property means you can direct what happens to it.

In most cases, you will have both control and possession of your property, but this isn’t always the case.

For example, are you owning your car outright or are you on a hire purchase agreement with a car dealership, being paid off monthly? If that’s the case, the car dealership would have control and good title to the car, and you would have possession of it. In other words, until the day you have made your final payment, you and the car dealership would be your car’s joint owners.

Let’s look at another scenario which has foundations in case law. Imagine dropping off your car at the local garage to have it serviced. During its service, the garage replaces an oil filter and carries out some basic maintenance. You arrive at the garage later that evening and notice they closed early. You see your car parked in their car park. Luckily you brought your spare key with you, so unlock your car and, without the garage’s permission, decide to drive it back home.

In these circumstances, you may indeed be guilty of stealing your car. You might have forgotten that at the point you left your car in the garage for them to carry out the maintenance work, they took possession of it and it also became their property. This happened in the 1971 case of R v Turner, where Mr. Turner was found guilty of stealing his own car after taking it from the service garage.

As we will see later in this chapter, this also applies to removing items that you have abandoned in a local council skip or clothing left on the doorstep of a local charity shop & decided you want them back.

All Land Must Be Left to The Eldest Son

Reading this heading, some of you will feel absolutely incensed. What you are about to read may seem as entirely outrageous as denying women the vote. This law has existed as part of a feudal system since mediaeval times. It is still in force with the aristocracy in Britain. It is known as male-preference primogeniture. This is the right of the firstborn son to inherit his parent’s estate in its entirety rather than being shared equally amongst all siblings. The latter would appear to be the fairest option in today’s world. Since the passing of the Administration of Estates Act in 1925, inheritance law now sees daughters in the same way as sons. This doesn’t, however, extend to aristocratic titles and other marks of nobility, for example, coats of arms.

Our mediaeval feudal system was designed to ensure that a feudal Lord’s estate remained intact, as a whole, when inherited. This provided for power and stability to be maintained in a family’s title, ensuring its continuance. Not forgetting, socially, this was very important in the society of yesteryear. As a result, the male-preference primogeniture became the dominant inheritance law, requiring everything from land, wealth and titles to be passed entirely to the firstborn son. In the absence of any male descendants, the inheritance was divided equally among the daughters. If the eldest son died, the estate would pass to his children, irrespective of gender. This was the case even if there was another son in the family. In cases where there were no children to leave the inheritance to, it then passed to close family.

There were exceptions to the laws of primogeniture. This included gavelkind, where the land was divided equally amongst all male heirs. There was also ultimogeniture, which saw the youngest sons favoured over the eldest son for inheritance.

Illegal to Keep a Pigsty at the Front

of Your Property

I’m afraid the lyrics are going to have to be revised as follows:

"Old McDonald had a farm, Ee i ee i o. And on his farm he had some pigs … but they were hidden from public view to avoid prosecution."

The problem is that Old McDonald was permitted to keep his cows and some chicks, but if he wanted to keep his pigs, the law had some strict guidelines to follow.

Section 28 of the Town Police Clauses Act (1847) states that "Every person who in any street, to the obstruction, annoyance, or danger of the residents or passengers … keeps any pigsty to the front of any street, not being shut out from such street by a sufficient wall or fence, or who keeps any swine in or near any street, so as to be a common nuisance" is guilty of an offence.

So, he can keep his pigs so long as the pigsty is out of public view. I can’t imagine too many people have been prosecuted over recent years for keeping pigs on their front lawn, to the annoyance of other residents.

Amusingly, this section of the Act was only repealed as recently as 2015, with the passing of the Deregulation Act.

No Shaking Your Rugs in the Street

For those houseproud homeowners living in London, there’s bad news for you. There’s every likelihood you’ve been unknowingly breaking the law for years.

The Metropolitan Police Act (1839) outlaws the shaking of carpets, rugs or mats in the street. Section 60(3) states, "Every person who in any thoroughfare shall beat or shake any carpet, rug, or mat (except door mats before the hour of eight in the morning)" shall be guilty of an offence.

The penalty for shaking your rugs in any London street was initially a fine of forty shillings for each offence. The fine has now risen to £200. Bizarrely, the law does permit you to shake or beat your doormat in the road, but only if it’s done before 8am. This section of the law was explicitly introduced to prohibit ‘nuisances’ on the streets of London.

As an amusing side note, the Section also says that it’s an offence to "throw or lay any … fish, offal, or rubbish … into any well, stream, or watercourse, pond, or reservoir for water." This would prohibit anglers from returning any caught fish back into the water.

Don’t Order Your Servant to Stand

on Your Window Sill

The next time you tune in to watch any good period drama, I’m talking about the ones with the large family ancestral homes; consider this next question. Who on earth cleans or paints the outside of all those windows? There’s an exceptional quantity of them.

I’m sure the legal draftsmen also considered that very same question when they created this bizarre law which makes it illegal to order or permit any servant or cleaner to stand on the window sill to clean or paint it … unless it’s a basement window.

Sorry if that puts a dampener on any future bank holiday spring cleaning plans you might have made for your household servants.

Section 28 of the Town Police Clauses Act (1847) states, "Every occupier of any house or other building or other person who orders or permits any person in his service to stand on the sill of any window, in order to clean, paint, or perform any other operation upon the outside of such window, or upon any house or other building within the said limits, unless such window be in the sunk or basement" is guilty of an offence.

This law was only repealed as recently as 2015.

Illegal to Have Unsecured Window

Boxes or Flower Pots

This somewhat outdated law may be of interest to those not living in bungalows.

It’s that Town Police Clauses Act (1847) again. Section 28 of the Act stated, "Every person who fixes or places any flower-pot or box, or other heavy article, in any upper window, without sufficiently guarding the same against being blown down" is guilty of an offence.

This means that you must ensure that any window boxes or flower pots are firmly secured so as not to risk falling onto the heads of passers-by in the street below. This law was repealed very recently, in 2015. So, the next time Alan Titchmarsh or Monty (super name!) Don knocks at the door with a camera crew to re-arrange your garden; you no longer need to remind them to secure those window boxes.

Illegal to Hang Your Bed or Safe Out

of an Upstairs Window

We’ve almost exhausted the Town Police Clauses Act (1847) by now but before we move on, consider this. Section 28 also prohibits anyone from placing any heavy article in any upper window without securing it.

This isn’t just for flower pots and window boxes. It also means that you can’t hang your bed out of an upstairs window … although quite why you would want to is probably more bizarre than the law prohibiting it. Also, if you were considering hanging a large cast iron safe out of your upstairs window, re-enacting a scene from a Tom & Jerry cartoon, that’s a definite no-no.

In the 1900 publication ‘Three Men on the Bummel’ by author Jerome J. Jerome, he even refers to this bizarre law. He states that hanging a bed out of a window is illegal in Germany but not in England, so long as it is so secure that it can’t fall onto someone’s head.

Illegal for Married Couples to Live in

Discarded Buses in Upton-upon-Severn

Apparently, there is a law prohibiting married couples from living in discarded buses in Upton-upon-Severn, Worcestershire. I am unsure why this ‘law’ is so specific and singles out married couples only and not those living alone or cohabiting. It also raises the question as to why a discarded bus and not something else more 'classy', like a shipping container.

I can only imagine there must have been a specific incident in that parish which involved a married couple living in a bus. This probably contravened planning laws or local bylaws.

So, this one comes with a caveat. It has popped up several times during my research. It’s interesting and undoubtedly bizarre enough to earn a place in this book. Still, I must say that I have come across no conclusive evidence to support that this is genuine and may, therefore, be a perpetuated myth.

It is Not an Offence for Someone to Park Their Car on

Your Driveway and Leave it There for a Week

Allow me to paint a lovely picture for you. You’ve just purchased your new home and moved in yesterday. It’s your pride and joy. It’s in a quiet leafy suburb. You’ve spent the first night having the obligatory takeaway meal in your new home and go to sleep peacefully. The following morning, you wake up and walk downstairs, still half-asleep, to make a cup of tea, ready to start unpacking the rest of the boxes. As the kettle boils, you stroll to the front of the house and open the curtains, ready to be greeted by the sun’s welcoming rays. Instead, you recoil in horror as you see a dirty builder’s van parked on your driveway and a large family saloon. These are not your cars. Whose are they? And from where do they come?

This seems to be a growing problem, with many unsuspecting householders finding strange cars parked on their driveways, sometimes for days or weeks. The most likely explanation is that you have an unscrupulous car parking firm operating in the area. This happens more regularly in the vicinity of major airports, where the cost of long-stay parking can be exorbitant. These firms charge members of the public a fee to park their car ‘safely’. Quite often, this can be in open fields, dumped on the side of the road or, as is the case here, on a stranger’s driveway. In most cases, the car owners will be entirely unaware.

The fact is, this is not a criminal offence. You read that right. It is not an offence to park your car on a stranger’s driveway and leave it there for a week or even longer. By that same token, a stranger can park their car on your driveway. Legally, there is very little you can do about this.

The Manchester Evening News featured an interesting article on 16th March 2022 about a concerned householder living near Manchester Airport. He had arrived home to discover a Range Rover parked on his driveway. He had given no prior permission for it to be there. The parked car obstructed his garden access, and he could not get his bins out, ready for collection. He reported the matter to the Greater Manchester Police, who informed him there was nothing they could do because it was not a criminal offence.

Parking on private land is classed as a civil trespass and a nuisance. It is not a criminal offence because it is not parked on the public highway. This is similar to a case reported in June 2018 in which a woman living in Hull arrived home to find someone else’s car parked on her driveway. In that instance, Humberside Police could be of no help.

Under these circumstances, you could pursue a civil case against the driver for trespassing on your land. If you win, authorities will then be able to remove the car. You may also pursue a claim for nuisance behaviour because the driver is "interfering with your use and enjoyment of your property." However, as we all know, taking action through the civil courts can be a costly affair.

The Road Traffic Act (1991) delegated parking enforcement to local authorities. Even so, the council would not be able to help because your driveway is your private property and not a public highway.

Councils may remove a car from private land if it is believed to be abandoned. Background enquiries would be conducted to establish this. However, if the vehicle on private land is taxed, insured, has a valid MOT certificate and isn’t in a dangerous condition, they would be unlikely to remove it.

The only reasonable solution for most of us would be to head over to the DVLA website and download Form V888, which will allow you to request the registered keeper’s details of the vehicle parked on your private land. It is perfectly legal for you to do this to trace the registered keeper. However, you must demonstrate a ‘reasonable cause’ for doing so. Fortunately, the DVLA website specifically lists ‘tracing the registered keeper of a vehicle parked on private land’ as a reasonable cause.

In circumstances where the vehicle is blocking your access to the highway, this would be an offence of obstruction of the road under Section 137 of the Highways Act (1980). The police would then have the authority to take action.

On a side note, there have been several other instances of residents around Manchester Airport who became angry with holidaymakers for parking on local roads. Provided the cars are parked legally and not abandoned, there’s nothing preventing holidaymakers from parking their vehicles on a public road.

It is for this same reason that you may look through the back windows of your house & see a stranger sunbathing on your lawn. It’s a civil trespass.

On a cautionary note, if you are thinking of taking action by leaving abusive messages on the car windscreens, fitting wheel clamps to the offending vehicles or even blocking them in with your own vehicle, don’t. This would most likely be an offence. If someone parked on your driveway and you were to block them in,