Addie's Ascent: A Story of Hope

By C.W. Young

Addie is a normal guy trying his best to transform from an average and unlucky creature to a powerful and conquering superman. His transformation begins on a trek up Mount Bedlam, where he encounters beasts and demons, as well as people of different virtues, powerful angels, and all types of fears and phobias.

Addie is challenged to overcome the vices and temptations offered within the three civilizations through which he travels. He summits the mountain, discovering the secrets for a meaningful life, while learning what it means to be a true superman.

In Addie's Ascent, experience an entertaining and interesting journey with Addie, and learn the basic tenets of living a momentous life in this world and the next.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Mar 2, 2023
• ISBN: 9781665738705

C.W. Young

C.W. Young is a professor at Rutgers Business School where he focuses teaching business ethics and writing on topics of law, economics, and ethics. He has published in peer reviewed journals, as well as in multiple periodical magazines. He is happily married with three children and lives in New Jersey.

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ADDIE’S

ASCENT

A Story of Hope

C.W. YOUNG

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Copyright © 2023 C.W. Young.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Archway Publishing

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.archwaypublishing.com

844-669-3957

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3871-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3872-9 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3870-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2023902504

Archway Publishing rev. date: 3/1/2023

CONTENTS

Acknowledgements

Prologue

Chapter 1 – I See Souls

Chapter 2 – Meeting My Sherpa

Chapter 3 – Preparing The Mind

Chapter 4 – The Tunnel Experience

Chapter 5 – Meeting Marxie

Chapter 6 – Solomon’s Thoughts

Chapter 7 – Finding Lily

Chapter 8 – Marxie’s Story

Chapter 9 – Love’s Music

Chapter 10 – Simonson’s Gehenna

Chapter 11 – Power of Living Water

Chapter 12 – Creativity is Personal

Chapter 13 – The Nature of Music

Chapter 14 – Leaving the Valley

Chapter 15 – Entering Zarathustra

Chapter 16 – Finding the Professor

Chapter 17 – Saving Oz and the Teachers

Chapter 18 – Storming the Gates

Chapter 19 – An Unexpected Marriage

Chapter 20 – The Official Welcome

Chapter 21 – The Stinging Bee Keeper

Chapter 22 – Love, Creativity, and Music

Chapter 23 – Owls, Red Birds, and Beginnings

Chapter 24 – The Summit

Chapter 25 – A Few Hours of Perfection

Chapter 26 – Seeing the World from the Top

Chapter 27 – The Battle for Life

Chapter 28 – Time To Go

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Each person in this story represents an important figure in my life. My wife is the rock, who embodies love and honor. My children represent intellect, bravery and creativity, while my parents represent truth, and resiliency. My sister is emboldened by a curious spirit, and my aunt and mother-in-law each add to the conversation of historical culture and value. My dog, Rook, represents resiliency and justice, while Dr. Tucker represents service. To each of you I am indebted. My journey would not be so great had it not been for you.

To the redbird, eagles, artist and shadows thank you for the blessings and the challenges – my life is content because of your endless gifts. To Thoreau, Emerson, Nietzsche, Adler and all other academics who are (were) pushing for truth, even though we disagree on so much, you are the inspiration to a fickle world.

Last but not least. For Nick, I wish this book was done much earlier when you asked for it. Your early departure from us will forever remind me, never to waste time. Although you are missed by everyone – we all know that we will see you again. Rest easy for now my friend.

PROLOGUE

One of the first things I think young people, especially nowadays, should learn is how to see for yourself and listen for yourself and think for yourself. Then you can come to an intelligent decision for yourself. If you form the habit of going by what you hear others say about someone, or going by what others think about someone, instead of searching that thing out for yourself and seeing for yourself, you will be walking west when you think you’re going east, and you will be walking east when you think you’re going west.

—Malcolm X

Observing the physical world teaches us that learning comes from developing our thoughts thoroughly, while wisdom comes from reconciling and communicating these ideas. It further appears, however, that the communication of such beliefs must not be explicitly written for the use of others but can and should include one’s personal service in a manner that helps the person develop morally, cognitively, and spiritually. Furthermore, writing one’s thoughts down on paper and arguing why these thoughts are accurate, coherent, and void of contradictions is an arduous task that almost none of us consider. Take, for instance, the stiff-necked miscreant who aligns as the intellectual blue or aw-shucks scoundrel who aligns as the laissez-faire red. Almost none of these individuals can reconcile their ideas about what it means to have a meaningful life, not to mention a coherent system of politics, religion, economics, and culture that support their philosophy or worldview, devoid of contradiction.

To understand our own philosophy or that of others, we must recognize and reconcile the ideas within and at the intersection of politics, economics, religion, and culture. I refer to these cultural influences as Intersections. This reconciliation is not an easy feat. If done correctly, it is uncomfortable yet enlightening and a work that should never end if we accede to a solid and curious intellect.

A systematic philosophy and, perhaps, a theology is developed on the following pages. Embedded within any philosophy, including this one, are the questions of existence: Why are we here? Why do we exist? What comes after this existence or life? What precludes us from pursuing a life of meaning? What are the limiting conditions to the fulfillment of such desires?

Additionally, there are questions about how philosophy or theology works. How does one component of the philosophy impact another? For particular purposes here, I will refer to the contents within this book as a philosophy, yet knowing there are substantial and explicit references to theology.

The philosophy here begins with exploring what it means to pursue a meaningful life, focusing on the individual as the starting point, yet continuing in a logical manner that embraces a community ethic, joining the individual’s passions with the desires of a healthy community. The philosophy that follows is existential, focused on observations of the physical world through the senses, while not forgetting the essential irrational notions of the otherworldly. I explore the Intersections of power, which often tend to purposefully or accidentally influence individuals’ desires and outcomes, which, by extension, impact the community.

The ideas developed here are imperfect and may succumb to the blessings from the critic’s pen; though these criticisms are welcome, they should be genuine and thoughtful. The writer of Proverbs suggests that when one criticizes a wise person, that person becomes even more discerning, while attacking a scoffer brings dislike. I hope to listen to the criticisms in a way that improves this manuscript.

Through this writing process, I discovered how best to enjoy life while maximizing blessings in the present while also enjoying the notions of the irrational God. My philosophy is the beginning of an anticipated journey of self-discovery. I hope to think with my head and feel with my heart, understanding the truths and lies within my passions, while not forgetting the importance of the faculties. I hope to think more seriously and personally about the senses, science, creation, government, scarcity, wealth, security, and irrationalities, including God.

This book is an outgrowth of a semester project I historically assigned to graduate students of political economy and, to a lesser extent, students of business ethics. The assignment requires students to develop a personal worldview, reconciling ideas and positions on politics, economics, religion, and culture into one unified perspective. To those students who take this challenge seriously, it is commonplace to hear at the end of the assignment statements such as:

(a) I do not believe I am a [conservative, liberal, or libertarian] any longer;

(b) I am not sure if [laissez-faire or socialist] economics is correct;

(c) I am not sure if my religion is accurate;

(d) I think all forms of government are flawed; and

(e) Big business is unethical, and bigger government is even worse.

It seems the reason for many of these comments is because the person, probably for the first time, is thinking for themselves, regardless of the master, teacher, politician, or preacher. Traditionally, many absorb commentary from people of influence and attempt to make these commentaries their own without understanding the inherent inconsistencies. They conclude a theory on one subject, yet fail to consider how one issue integrates and affects another. When a person attempts to reconcile their definition of meaning within the Intersections, they find an excess of inconsistencies and a philosophy that does not hold up to self-scrutiny, not to mention the scrutiny of others.

To begin developing a worldview, a person must ask the question passed down from the ages: "What is a meaningful life?" There is no one correct answer to this question but an endless array of propositions, each based on the luck and circumstances of the person addressing it. Answering this question is Step One in the long process of developing philosophy. A note of caution here: this question is not easy; any answer will likely change over time. As a person’s worldview changes, their definition of a meaningful life will likely change.

That said, logical contradictions seem inherent to all philosophies, despite the most diligent efforts. Such inconsistencies are primarily associated with the lack of understanding beyond the senses and one’s learned knowledge. With our limited experience of subjects such as creation, mind, death, afterlife, truth, or God, we must resort to rational arguments discovered in nature. Yet they may also develop assumptions based on something outside the senses – an internal feeling of our consciousness.

In some instances, assumptions must be broad to encompass ideas believed by many, while at the same time not alienating others who take a nuanced approach to such thought. For example, consider the notions of an abstract creator referred to by many as God, the Great Spirit, Lion of Judah, Nature, Yahweh, Christ, Creator, Allah, Spirit, or Brahma, who presumably created or had some interaction in creating the universe and all its creatures. One intention in my philosophy is not to delineate the perfect god or no god, but rather to argue that there are many ideas outside of rationality. One argument relates to the beginning of humankind, how a person is born biologically, and the situation in which they are born.

It is crucial to understand that the most important underlying assumption is that humans are born without consent, without asking, and without choosing their biology or circumstances. Humanity is not a choice, but a gift from another power. I refer to this other power as God or the Creator. Those who will take exception to the term Creator, mainly anti-creationists, will also recognize, even the staunchest among them, that matter formed at some point in history. From this evolution, the anti-creationists also acknowledge that people are born with certain biological and situational features. Physical attributes are those associated with DNA and the material makeup of the individual. In contrast, situational attributes are the circumstances in which a person is born; none, however, are chosen by the person.

Luck, in this sense, refers to what a person receives when she is born – she is lucky to be intelligent, tall, and kind; she is fortunate to be taken into a white, wealthy family in an excellent neighborhood with loving parents. Similarly, society suggests that someone born with a lower IQ, not as aesthetically beautiful as others, and born into a lower-income family, is considered unlucky. Understanding luck as culturally described here does not suggest anyone’s view of a Creator is right or wrong but instead means that fate is inevitable, regardless of the reader’s choice of what they call the Creator.

Considering the previous statements, the assumption of the Creator, as described in this book and concerning the phenomenal, does not separate the religious from the irreligious, but rather unifies all ideas into a specific term: Creator. It is within this foundational understanding that objective truth must emanate. Concerning the afterlife and the noumenal, as later described, the Creator is expanded to now include ideas of salvation through grace, as described in the primary tenets of early Christianity. Sometimes this figure is referred to as the Lamb, Shepherd, the Light, Yashua, Jesus, and the Son of God.

There are also considerations of a Spirit. Some refer to the Spirit as a supernatural being, while others consider it part of the superconscious. The names of the Spirit can include the Dove, Comforter, Intercessor, Holy Spirit, Teacher, and similar attributed names.

Coming to grips with the notion of a Creator is the beginning of earthly wisdom and meaning, as shown in the following pages. However, those irrational members of the human race who genuinely believe in the Triune God not only receive wisdom associated with the world but are transformed in mind, body, and spirit and focus on the irrational afterlife or the phenomenal.

This book is a collection of my ideas, a compilation of elaborations on experiences, while others are micro-ideas touching upon essential concepts to be explored at another time. Some pictures are integrative fragments of thoughts from Christ, Aristotle, Buddha, Schopenhauer, Nietzsche, Emerson, Adam Smith, John Stuart Mill, Kant, Rawls, Nagel, Jung, Frankl, Peterson, and Foucault. Some ideas come from great dystopian writers such as Huxley, Orwell, and LeGuin, while others – probably most – are from sense-based experiences in combination with my luck.

Many thoughts come from self-examination while studying academic books, papers, conversations, media, and significant religious and philosophical texts. It is often impractical to provide citations or credence to those who assisted in developing the ideas, considering they are intersubjective fusions of others’ thoughts with personal critiques and explorations. However, authors and works discussed are referenced and cited if a significant idea is recognized. Concepts from religious and spiritual texts are mostly paraphrased or rewritten to make them more palatable for the lay reader. This book is not a treatise describing others’ thoughts or ideas but rather an infusion of sense experience, coupled with a posteriori knowledge passed down from the ages, and a priori discovery, should this be a possibility.

Do the New and Old Testaments impact the following thoughts? Surely. Have the following views been shaped by the ideas of Nietzsche’s Ubermensch or Emerson’s Oversoul? Of course. Did Aristotle’s ideas of virtue development impact the definition of intellectual and character virtues? Thankfully, yes. Did Kant and Ross assist in helping to understand duties and obligations? Yes. Did Frankl help develop the ideas associated with the happiness gained from overcoming a challenge in light of a future hope? Indeed. Did Jung help frame the ugliness of society’s forceful construction of humanity according to its rules? Painfully, yes. Each of the authors mentioned has assisted in shaping the ideas that follow. Although I amassed an enormous debt to these great minds, many of my thoughts contradict theirs. In this regard, the philosophy created here is my own – if there is such a thing as an original thought or an original philosophy.

Similarly, the thoughts that fill my mind are not exclusive to one’s generation, but are discoveries passed down through the ages, each building on itself until the present. Some thoughts build slowly in succession, whereas others leap forward, almost from nowhere. Philosophers suggest that knowledge comes from an a priori event, or an a posteriori transfer, the former coming from some unknown origin of thought, while the latter is an empirical observation. My intent is to integrate a posteriori ideas from teachers and philosophers I have already mentioned and, should it be possible, add something new via a priori discovery through the unconscious, or from the spiritual intervention of the Triune.

My philosophy integrates an individual’s pursuit of a meaningful life within a framework of a benevolent community, integrates self-responsibility with the notion of equality differences, and reconciles equal opportunity with the love of the Creator. Underlying the philosophy is a personal desire to offer a new way forward instead of the self-interested cronyism that society has come to accept in our economy, yet also not following some dictum of power forced upon society by the malevolent moral overlord, albeit the secular or religious governors.

Above all, the following pages hope to herald a new definition of personal success and a rediscovered notion of meaning – to help everyone know they are loved, unique, and created explicitly for greatness – on their terms. The philosophy includes components of the physical and metaphysical world. Much of the philosophy, however, focuses on living in the known rational world, helping a person obtain the life they are destined for. In this sense, even the reader who may not yet believe in the Intercessor or Spirit will benefit from some of the following ideas. Yet it is impossible to develop my own philosophy without considering my belief in the irrational notions of the Triune God. For this reason, I suggest my philosophy extends into theology, focused on a meaningful life here and now and an opportunity to seek the Kingdom which comes.

The two lenses of view – abstract and realistic − trigger divergent and convergent thought processes. There is an abstract thought pattern for those more inclined to solve complex non-binary problems. At the same time, for those with a convergent mindset, there is an appreciation and identification of linear relationships. The inspiration behind this dualism is to refine ideas as they move along a continuum, highlighting areas of abstract oddness while appreciating some aesthetic level, yet not missing the seriousness of constraint and worry that underline much of the text. Solving the problems identified herein requires both the thoughts of the divergent artist and the convergent analytic person, each bringing to bear their constitutional and circumstantial luck, as later defined.

The ideas are intersubjective thoughts, levering myriad converging and diverging opinions acquired through personal, professional, and spiritual experiences in life. My professional views are acquired through work experiences in economics, finance, accounting, ethics, politics, military, academia, and law. Personal experiences are acquired through training and working in fine arts, literature, psychology, philosophy, religion, faith, and sport. Spiritual experiences are associated with the non-physical encounters discovered via my faith in the Triune, and discoveries of occurrences that defy rationality. The lens through which I see and experience the above subjects is happily enslaved to my constitutional and circumstantial luck, including my own psychological and moral defects or strengths. As will be identified later, my fate is exclusive to me; there is no other me walking about this world now, so how I see and experience the world is unique. Perhaps what I see is not the same as you, my red is your blue, and my odor of grandeur relates to your smell of disgust. Maybe we are made different, yet appear the same? I cannot tell, but I can only provide a worldview from my own Inferno. Considering this alleged shortcoming, my ideas cannot, by definition, be perfect, because my perspective is restricted, based on my luck, biases, and limited knowledge.

Nevertheless, despite differences in luck, there seem to be shared experiences through the senses, which partly define our humanity. Similarly, we all share the human condition in that we have needs (food, shelter, procreation) and desires (love, achievement), yet we live in a world where resources are constrained. We all likely act out of self-interest when living in a fallen world with resource constraints.

Similarly, we can all see beyond ourselves and experience the world outside the body. Almost all of us can think, create, and develop while sharing the common ability to hate and destroy. Regardless of our race, gender, or preference differences, we are born with similar physical characteristics and thoughts, or so I imagine. Although we are all unique, one of a kind, I know we share similarities in being and experiencing humanity. For instance, we are all born as male or female babies with no ability to care for ourselves, so part of our humanity is not individualistic, but social. In this sense, we are all born fragile homo sapiens, regardless if our younger minds incorrectly suggest otherwise. None of us is born an individualist; each of us becomes one over time. Even though we may grow into our individuality and experience our uniqueness, we must remain cognizant of our physical limitations of biology and circumstance. We discover our life’s purpose within these created limitations and blessings.

Considering our common elements, perhaps similar ideas resonate with all of us, regardless of our individuality, which we acquire as we age. Maybe we can regain logical and rational footing in this odd blessing called life if we rediscover what it means to be unique, while also recognizing the community of humans with similar wants and desires.

The following ideas do not purport to be modern or post-modern, conservative, liberal, or libertarian; they are not aligned with Republicans or Democrats and are not aligned with the religious or non-religious. They are, simultaneously, all and none. The ideas here reconcile humanity with the supernatural notions of creation and experience outside the individual’s control.

I hope this book reawakens the individual’s conversation as defined in classical liberalism while recognizing the importance of classical conservative thought, ultimately marrying the individual and the community. If this book is anything, it is anti-conformist, challenging the notions of modern and post-modern success, laws, rules, and norms, each developed over time by the wickedness of the self-gratifying Antagonist and the unknown failures of even the greatest of the Protagonists.

Initially, my goal was to write a non-fiction book where many ideas and thoughts expressed were purely academic. But who reads such texts but a few elites? Obscure academics or professionals, such as me? Maybe a psychologist? Social scientists, more generally? The Intellectual? Perhaps all, but even here, this will only appeal to a small population. Recognizing this shortcoming, I changed the approach from a non-fiction book to a fictional story, integrating my ideas within the prose of various interacting characters.

I hope the story here is accessible to more people without eliminating the seriousness of the underlying blessings and curses discussed herein. Can we explore serious topics while engaging our sense of enjoyment? I dare say yes. This fictional story is meant to challenge your beliefs and thought processes, while every now and then touching your heart and maybe even encouraging you to laugh a bit.

The book has three main ideational characters – the Antagonist, the Protagonist, and the Tritagonist. The characters are not necessarily actual people or groups but can be, depending on your interpretative perspective (abstract or realistic). Each character can identify with individuals or groups sharing very similar thoughts, while they may also be associated with individuals or groups that share only tiny remnants of view. The characters may represent quasi-spiritual beings, such as Christ, and the antithesis of such. The characters can be associated with a philosophy or a combination of overlapping philosophies. The characters may also be renascent of periods within a person’s life, like life phases that can be advanced or receded, depending on circumstances. Essentially, the characters will be different for each reader, based on the luck experienced by them. I refer to the Antagonists as Thyatira, Sardis, or the Beast and the Protagonists as Lily, Phia, and Adamantas. Some may also place Simonson, Doc, Professor, or Solomon in the characterization of the Tritagonist, yet clearly, this is an individual choice. Please join me on the ascent.

CHAPTER 1

I SEE SOULS

A lthough it was a faint yet familiar sound of a small northern cardinal many yards away, the sound was clear, almost as if the bird was perched beside me. A strong scent of north pine and the odd but welcoming odor of a skunk penetrated the air, touched by the fragrance of lavender, which was very unusual for this area. The breeze dissipated the morning dew on this late spring day, and the damp air penetrated the barred open window above the bed. The cool air flowed across the room and out the door like a floating stream of misty water on a mission to cleanse the world. The sky was blushing pink, with streams of deep orange running through the lower portion of the horizon. The radio host suggested that temperatures on this Tuesday were unseasonably warm for this time of the year, offering that a significant storm was brewing. My arm and shoulder restraints were now loose, so I could feel my fingers and the hairs on my arm, which were generally not so identifiable, considering the lack of blood flow due to the restraint’s tension.

I realized I was awake and in a state of absolute awareness after many years of living in the unconscious, aimlessly wandering while taking much, wanting more, giving little, and blaming others and the spirits for their injustices. My selfish care became apparent while the sacrificial care of the vain also came into perspective. The allusiveness of justice, existence, creativity, and life’s mysteries became words stamped upon my heart. I yearned to discover what these terms meant, as I could see vividly, yet not feel, the words branded and glowing like hot iron on my heart’s surface. Does this branding suggest that someone owns me? Am I a bovine to be prodded by the rancher, or a slave, property of some inhospitable transhuman monster? As the thoughts awakened my brain into consciousness, my heart rate and blood pressure increased rapidly, like in an inescapable, infinitely looping childhood nightmare.

Unable to escape this dream and in a state of panic, I was put at ease when the Spirit said, "It is me. Know that I Am here, and I purposefully branded those words on your heart. I have chosen you, Adamantas, from the beginning of time, and I have pulled you from the chaff where you lived. You have a purpose here, and I want to show you what that is. You are now alive from the first death, and should you pay close attention to my caretaker, Solomon, who will walk with you, a life worth living is ahead. I want you to live eternally with me, my family, and my friends and avoid the second death. Yet, before you come to me, I have blessed you with abundance, but to find it, you must pay close attention to my Spirit and the words of Solomon – your sherpa. Tell others that abundance is available to all people who walk consciously." I heard the organ play once again and emerged from my reverie.

The beautiful, calming, yet powerful voice stopped when I realized this was not a dream. I was not in my bed, and it was not early morning. I was awake and conscious of everything around me. I was not just listening to a Spirit from the outside; I was in it and surrounded by it. The Spirit was like the person speaking to me, but it was different – something beyond explanation.

At that moment, the Spirit encircled my physical outer world, yet its warmth penetrated my head and body. I could feel, smell, touch, taste, and listen to the Spirit as its expanding galaxies embraced me. While in the Spirit, not only was I provided wisdom from the words, but something fell from my eyes, and I could see with clarity like never before. Insight from my senses increased, and my attention to detail was much more significant than my previous human capacity experienced. As the Spirit was still surrounding me, time appeared to stop momentarily.

I noticed every detail of the people in the pews. I saw the colors of their shirts and trousers, and the small yellow center of the poinsettias encircling the altar. Despite seeing their clothes, the people had no human color; no black, white, brown, or any other color was on their faces. I heard the baritone voice of the monsignor giving the service and felt the weight of the heavy Bible placed upon my forehead. I vividly remember the smell of frankincense and myrrh burning in the thurible, which I’d lit earlier. I also found comfort in the creativity and coldness of the large, dark, yet stunning stained-glass windows, which were not bright, due to the early evening of the new winter. I felt the green-and-black speckled marble under my feet, while appreciating the carvings within the dark wood of the reredos. The flowing majesty of the holiday red, white, and gold flags created by the school children hung from the forty-foot walls, almost like soldiers standing at attention and showing respect for this place of worship. The incredible musician played Adeste, Fideles, calling all the faithful to worship during this beautiful holiday season. I remember the smiles on the people’s faces, the laughs, and the cries of the children in attendance, most of whom wanted the night to end quickly in anticipation of the morning’s gifts. Although my consciousness was awake and my senses heightened, I was not expecting what would come next.

I again became frightened, though the Spirit commanded it to be this time. Listening to my consciousness while in the Spirit, I could see the actual souls of those in attendance. Certain people appeared to resemble the human form but would come and go out of focus, almost as if they were semi-invisible, diaphanous. I did not know why this was so, but it seemed they did not care about appearances, as they wore wrinkled and torn clothes, not as a sign of humbleness, but out of laziness and despair. The women were scantily dressed, and the men’s hands wandered inappropriately, even in such a holy place. The eyes of these invisible entities stared at the others in attendance, appearing almost plotting, envious, and lustful of their possessions and illuminations. The earthly misery of the Invisibles in the pews was reflective of a people not wanting to develop their talents, yet maintaining hope for some future luck based on the allure of chance.

There were three other groups I identified in the pews. Some were visible, and showed deep respect and care for the words shared by the monsignor. Others tried their best to pay attention but could not, while some were clearly in attendance for social favor and acceptance. The faces of the people had unusual colors and radiations – clearly not any skin tone.

The color of the Invisibles was gray, corpselike, yet with slight signs of yellow illuminating their children. The babies who were not yet devoured by the philosophy of the Invisibles continued to shine bright and glow yellow. These people tried to smile, but it was hard for them to look others in the eye. They lacked confidence, and slouched while standing in the pews, simultaneously exuding a sense of shame, anger, hate, jealousy, and slothfulness. Unlike the children with beautiful blue and green eyes, the adults’ eyes were empty, yet matte black. Dull. Around their eyes was a brilliant band of red, indicating extreme irritation, perhaps even endless weeping. No light or glimmer reflected from their inner eyes, and there were no eyebrows or lashes. The skin surrounding the redness of the eyes was dead, as if the eyes were absorbing all the living cells. The Invisibles were hairless and exceedingly thin, yet for the protruding stomachs, a sign of malnourishment.

The people with deep respect and passion for the words spoken by the monsignor illuminated like orange or yellow stars. While watching this group of people, I felt something like pure creativity and friendship wrapped into something unexplainable. Although these people had wrinkles from past desires such as lust, greed, wrath, envy, and pride, their wrinkles were muted, almost as if a new skin covered them. Like me, these people had words burned into their hearts. They were chosen from the chaff, not because they showed supernatural abilities, but because they understood the monsignor’s message of grace.

Those who tried their best to pay attention also shone bright, yet their illumination was flickering from what appeared to be an unshakeable shame. I saw faces of orange-infused browns, a color historically resembling stability and durability, but covered with a film of disgust. These people seemed to have something branded on their hearts, like me, but the words were covered by what looked like a body tattoo. They were friendly, kind, and welcoming, and their smiles were pleasant, yet their souls were dark from what was revealed to me. Although their faces displayed signs of love and care for their friends and family, the wrinkles suggested otherwise. The wrinkles told a story of shame reflective of controlled desires of anger towards others. The people did not want to hold on to their rage, but they had to, because they bought into society’s definition of justice and success. In an attempt to cover their shame, this group of people engaged in performing good deeds.

Then some put up a facade for the townspeople, who did not radiate like the previous groups but shone a faint light. These people used white face paint to cover their ugly purple-infused grayness. They