The Power of Change: A Guide to Self-Transformation for Incarcerated Men and Women

By Patrick Middleton, Ph.D.

In The Power of Change, Patrick Middleton shows with clear and convincing evidence that the antidote to self destructive behavior is discovering and cultivating self awareness, which leads to self understanding, ego control and the gradual end to impulsive decision-making. To help readers better understand the concept of self awareness, he provides simple, but profound insight into the workings of the "unaware" mind, drawing on personal experiences and vignettes collected over his 49 years of incarceration. A refreshing aspect of The Power of Change is Middleton's ability to empower and inspire the reader without placating, sugar coating or using psychological jargon that only a therapist would understand. With both humility and optimism, he readily acknowledges that life ⎯ especially life in prison ⎯ is difficult, demanding and often an uphill challenge. And he does so neither in a condescending nor self aggrandizing manner. Nor does he claim the suggestions in his book will make all problems go away, but, he writes, "once you become aware that you are aware, you will have the confidence to know that the power of change is in your hands."

Each of the book's 28 chapters presents a different life situation that is designed to connect readers to practical ways to discover and cultivate self awareness, and to learn to Be in the present. Chapter titles reflect the wealth of wisdom and practicality of this well-written book; for example, "Be Honest with Yourself," "Become Aware of What You're Thinking," "Resolve Your Bitterness," "Here's What You Have to Feel if You're Truly Sorry," "Discover the Present and Be in It," "Raise Your Self Standards," "Practice Empathy," "Develop a Support Team," "Acknowledge Your Success," "Live Every Day With a Purpose." Included in each chapter are carefully crafted exercises for incorporating the chapter lessons into one's everyday life.

The Power of Change is a must-read for every prisoner who desires the mental tools and knowledge to bring about responsible, lasting change in their lives. An inspiration, this book is a gift to humankind, easily read and one that will be dog-eared, underlined, and revisited by readers time and again. Every friend and family member of an incarcerated person will want their loved one to have this book.

About the Author: Patrick Middleton has been incarcerated in Pennsylvania since 1975. From 1978 to 1990, he was a full-time student in the University of Pittsburgh's in-house college program at Western Penitentiary on the North Side of Pittsburgh, achieving scholarship status throughout his 12 year student tenure. In 1990, he earned his Ph.D. in Instruction and Learning, becoming the first and only prisoner in America to earn a Ph.D. in a classroom setting. He has taught undergraduate and graduate students in both the University of Pittsburgh and Villanova University's in-house prison college programs. He is the author of two instructor's manuals in psychology; a memoir, Incorrigible; and a literary novel, Eureka Man.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Outskirts Press
• Release date: Mar 31, 2023
• ISBN: 9781977263483

Patrick Middleton, Ph.D.

PATRICK MIDDLETON is the first and only prisoner in the United States to ever earn a Ph.D. in classroom settings (University of Pittsburgh, class of 1990). During his 48 years of incarceration, he has taught undergraduate and graduate courses at University of Pittsburgh and Villanova University. He is the author of Incorrigible, Healing Our Imprisoned Minds and Eureka Man.

Book preview

1

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF

Of all the qualities that go into being a responsible, well-adjusted person, self-honesty is at the top of the list. Having spent most of my youth and early adult life in and out of juvenile institutions and reform schools, I can attest to the fact that my downfall in life was due to my inability to be honest with myself. And having lived and interacted with thousands of prisoners over the past 48 years and counting, I am convinced that a lack of self-honesty is the number one source of most prisoners’ problems as well.

Without self-honesty, it’s impossible to own up to the ways in which we contribute to our own misfortune and unhappiness. Self-honesty is such a powerful trait that combined with our own deep-down desire to change, little else is needed to start the journey.

Let’s begin with a test to see how you rate your own self-honesty. For this assessment, you’ll need to sit or stand in front of a mirror and take a good look at yourself. Try to look beyond your physical features and into your inner self. Think about who you really are and what’s become of your life up to this point. Make a genuine effort to be completely honest. You should be having a heart-to-heart confrontation with yourself right now. When you’re ready, ask yourself, Who’s responsible for the condition my life is in right now? Take your time and just be honest.

If you conclude that your family, your co-defendant, society, the police, or the criminal justice system, etc., are responsible for the condition your life is in today, this book may not be for you. But if you answered, I am responsible for the condition my life is in right now, turn back to the mirror and ask yourself, Am I willing to learn the skills necessary to becoming a happy, responsible and productive person? If your answer is yes, continue reading. If you’re not yet sure about making such a commitment, I’d like you to also continue reading until you are sure one way or the other.

The fact is that no matter what unfair circumstances or adversities we’ve been confronted with in the past, there is no doubt about one thing: we can’t go back and change things. What’s happened has happened. What we can change, though, is how we live the rest of our lives. We have choices to make. One of those choices is to own the truth about ourselves and our past.

When we aren’t used to being honest with ourselves, it often takes some major crisis in our lives to begin facing the truth about ourselves. Ask any recovering alcoholic or drug abuser how they came to stop using, and they’ll more often than not tell you about a certain experience they had that finally led them to discover the truth about themselves and how they had been living. Such experiences are often called hitting rock bottom. But you don’t have to be a drug addict or an alcoholic to hit rock bottom and begin facing the truth about yourself. I know that from my own personal experience.

The fact that you’re reading this book may be an indication that you realize you’re not happy with the way you’ve been living your life and you genuinely want to change. This simple acknowledgement took honesty and courage on your part and is the first step in the right direction. If you’re tired of making the same mistakes over and over, you can begin changing this self-destructive pattern in your own life today.

As we proceed to the next chapter, your willingness to reflect honestly on the contributions you’ve made to your past problems and misfortunes and your current unhappiness will go far in setting a positive climate within, thus opening the door for personal growth and change. You can gain invaluable insight and identify solutions to problems in a fraction of the time it usually takes when honesty is your foundation. The following exercises will help you get started.

EXERCISES

When we’re not honest with ourselves, it’s usually because we don’t want to face the truth. Self-honesty requires that we expose ourselves to the truth about ourselves. Often that truth is something ugly and difficult to face.

I. Read the following examples and identify the self-lie each person is telling.

1. Whenever I start to wonder what I’m going to do about this or that problem, I always end up telling myself, ‘I’ll think about it when the time comes.’ The only thing is, when the time comes, I never think about it. I just go with the flow.

What is the lie?

2. There’s a girl I’m crazy about and she’s crazy about me. I buy her everything she needs and most of what she wants. There’s only one hitch. We are like two opposing chemicals that cause a crazy reaction every time we’re together. We fight all the time. She’s had me arrested three times already for domestic violence. We’re back together now and things are going smooth.

What is the lie?

3. "My childhood friend, Maurice, and I are as close as two brothers can be. What’s crazy is, every time we go out on a mission, I’m the one who ends up going to jail. But you know what? Maurice stays true to his word. He always sends me commissary money while I’m down.

That’s because of the bond we have between us. He’s my man."

What is the lie?

4. I get a tight knot in the pit of my stomach every night when I’m out on the corner with my friends. It goes away after I take a drink or smoke some weed. Then I’m good to go."

What is the lie?

5. School just wasn’t for me, man. The only class I did any good in was gym. It ain’t that I’m dumb or nothing, cause I got a pocket full of cash and three men working the corners for me. I just wasn’t born wired to learn the ABCs.

What is the lie?

II. You’ve no doubt heard the saying, The truth hurts. The fact is, the truth only hurts until we are able to face it and embrace it. Then the truth becomes our friend. Complete these phrases.

I would really like to be honest about

I would really like to be honest about

I would really like to be honest about

Congratulations! Seriously, you’ve just been honest with yourself about three things you would like yourself to be honest about! That’s progress!

III. Now list three things about yourself that you are unhappy with, e.g., I’m too quick to judge other people.; I like to read but I have a very poor attention span.; I don’t have any real skills to earn a living with.

IV. List concrete actions you can take to change each of the three things you’re unhappy with:

NOTE: As we move forward in the chapters, you will learn the skills needed to make most of the changes you want to make in your life. Let’s get busy!

2

BECOME AWARE OF WHAT YOU’RE THINKING

I am still amazed whenever I recall the time I first discovered I could observe my own thoughts. That moment occurred not long after I found myself in a hundred-year-old penitentiary with a life sentence. I was down for the count. It was live or die for me. To find a temporary distraction from my circumstances, I turned to reading fiction novels at night while alone in my cell.

One evening I was reading a novel about a man who had deep psychological issues much like my own at the time. From the beginning of the story I felt a deep connection to this character. While reading about the voice in his head telling him to stop feeling sorry for himself and get on with living his life, I heard a voice in my own head telling me to stop feeling hopeless and start doing something worthwhile with my life. This was the first time in my life that I became consciously aware of my own inner voice and at the same time, I was aware that I was aware of this inner voice. I had discovered two separate entities, the observer and the observed, the watcher and the watched. This experience marked the beginning of my own self-awareness, and I knew I had no choice but to start being honest with myself.

When you’re able to observe what you’re thinking, you can begin to put yourself in charge of what you do and don’t want to think about, thus empowering yourself to change the way you react to situations in your life. I believe this is one of the most powerful and important skills you can ever master.

Let’s begin by examining the thought process in general. Thousands of thoughts bombard us every day, reeling through our minds one after another. These thoughts exist in the form of ideas, desires, hopes, fears, worries, frustrations, memories, expectations, and more. Our thoughts can be about the past, the future, or the present. When we feel concerned, confused or excited about something, our thoughts tell us so.

As we experience these thoughts, one of two things usually happens. First, a thought can pass by quickly; we might reject it outright, or it may be too vague to warrant our attention. If I don’t take the thought too seriously, it passes as quickly as it arrived. Then another thought arrives. Keep in mind that all this can happen without our even realizing it.

The other possibility is that we hold the thought in mind and examine it, keeping it right there in our mind’s eye where we can study it, ponder it, and give it our undivided attention.

You probably already know how easy it is sometimes to get upset by the smallest thing. All it takes is for us to hone in on a thought that’s bothering us and we can easily blow it up out of proportion. The more we think about it, the more upset we become until we make a mountain out of a molehill. But if we’re aware of what’s going on internally, we can choose how to react to any thought that surfaces. This awareness enables us to choose the thoughts we want to give attention to and those we want to dismiss.

To help you begin to become aware of what you’re thinking, find a time when it is relatively quiet around you, and preferably when you’re alone. Sit or lie in a comfortable position and close your eyes. Relax. Wiggle your toes and move your ankles side to side until your muscles are relaxed. Move each of your limbs until they’re in a comfortable position. Be calm. Begin to breathe in and out slowly and deeply. Concentrate on your breathing for a couple of minutes until you’ve established a smooth rhythm of breathing in and out deeply. Now turn your attention to your thoughts and watch them as if you were watching a movie. Let them flow freely. Don’t attach yourself to any single thought. As your thoughts pass by, your only goal is to keep them moving. The first time you catch yourself clinging to any particular thought, tell yourself to let it go. If, for example, you find yourself saying, This is stupid. I’m not gonna get anywhere just watching my thoughts go by!, dismiss these thoughts immediately and remember to let each thought pass. If this negative thought comes back to you, counter it with something productive such as, Wait. Let me give this a chance."

At first, many thoughts will pass through your mind when you’re doing this exercise, and you’ll no doubt find it challenging to dismiss each thought immediately. Just don’t allow yourself to look in on any single thought for long. The goal is to observe your thoughts coming and going as if you are an objective bystander. The more you practice this exercise, the easier it will become to let go of your thoughts. Say to yourself, I see that I am not my thoughts. I am merely an observer. If I want, I can let every thought go by or I can hold on to whatever thought I choose and give it my undivided attention. It’s my choice.

If you spend time every day practicing this skill, your awareness will grow stronger and stronger with each passing day. As it grows, you’ll become more of an active participant in your own thinking and decision-making processes. It takes time to master this skill, but I can promise you it will change your life. So don’t give up!