Mom Don't Scream: Practical Manual on How to Be Listened to and Prevent Tantrums Forgetting Anger and Stress. Apply Positive Discipline to Educate and Raise Confident Children

By Rachel Gilson

"I'M ABOUT TO GO CRAZY!"

 

How many times have you thought this after yet another tantrum that caught you exhausted after a day at work, or after that hysterical fit at the mall that caught everyone's attention?

 

The answer is probably, "I lost count!" and that is perfectly normal. As an educator and mother of two, I know full well how frustrating little ones can be!

That's exactly why I wrote "Mommy Don't Yell" - A Practical Handbook Dedicated to Parents for Managing Toddlers from 3 to 12 and Educating Them Without Resorting to Yelling!

 

In this manual I have encapsulated all my experience as an educator who over the years has enabled hundreds of parents to manage their children's exasperating behaviors, learning how to correct them effectively and without guilt!

 

Through a simple and concrete approach to child rearing, this book will enable you to:

• Avoid having to resort to blackmail: Effective communication strategies to overcome your children's capricious blackmail and avoid having them do only what they want;
• Improving Your Communication: Practical techniques and real-life examples to modulate your communication by making it authoritative and gentle at the same time.
• Say goodbye to moments of shame: How to handle your child's sudden hysterical outbursts and forget about the feeling of wanting to stick your head in the ground;
• Being a guilt-free parent: Cultivating a strong bond based on mutual trust despite a thousand daily and work commitments;
• Facing the challenges of early adolescence: Simple strategies for containing the desire for independence typical of the teenage phase without being seen as a pain in the ass.

 

I'm sure you'll find concrete support in this handbook to start cultivating the dream relationship with your child! Are you ready to take the first step toward more peaceful and fulfilling parenting?

 

Stress-free parenting is possible - Order your copy today to find out how!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Rachel Gilson
• Release date: Apr 11, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215246924

Book preview

Mom Don't Scream

Practical Manual on How to Be Listened to and Prevent Tantrums Forgetting Anger and Stress. Apply Positive Discipline to Educate and Raise Confident Children

Rachel Gilson

Copyright © 2023 Rachel Gilson

All rights reserved.

The contents of this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without the written permission of the author or publisher.

In no event shall the publisher or author be held liable for any damages, compensation, or monetary loss due to the information contained in this book, directly or indirectly.

Legal notice:

This book is copyrighted. It is intended for personal use only. No part or content of this book may be modified, distributed, sold, used, quoted, or paraphrased without the consent of the author or publisher.

Notice of disclaimer:

Please note that the information contained in this document is for educational and entertainment purposes only. Every effort has been made to present accurate, current, reliable, and complete information. No warranties of any kind are stated or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author is not engaged in providing legal, financial, medical, or professional advice. The contents of this book have been derived from various sources. It is recommended that a licensed professional be consulted before trying the techniques described in this book.

By reading this document, the reader agrees that in no event shall the author be liable for any loss, direct or indirect, incurred as a result of the use of the information contained herein, including, but not limited to, errors, omissions, or inaccuracies.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1

Useful communication

Chapter 2

Positive education

Chapter 3

Listening

Chapter 4

Anger management

Chapter 5

Whims and their world

Chapter 6

Education in positive values

Introduction

Very often a parent , even one armed with the best of intentions, ends up making mistakes dictated by inexperience, some negative sides of his or her character, and even, why not, the aftermath of a childhood spent in a less than happy manner.

Mostly affected by such mistakes is the relationship such a parent will have to establish with his or her child because, even where it might seem that a child does not emit signs of negativity, this does not mean that malaise does not snake in the innermost depths of his or her soul, giving rise to future disagreements and contrasts that may even result in real breakups.

All this as a result of mistakes that, observed with the famous hindsight, ultimately turn out to be not so difficult to avoid.

This guide is not intended to be the vade mecum of the perfect and unimpeachable parent, but is presented to the reader as a small treasure chest of suggestions from analysts and experts in the child psyche to help the adult retrace those magnificent paths of childhood, this time to help the child in his care not to stumble and fall into those ditches that, perhaps, may have caused him to have little mishaps along the way.

Each child constitutes a true way in its own right, and it would be most pretentious to claim to know all its secrets, but by using this text as a guide, parents and educators will certainly find it easier to lead their little ones along the road of life without the roughness being a danger of it, until the time when they are able to set out on their own. 

Chapter 1

Useful communication

Each person becomes the parent that the upbringing they received during childhood and adolescence, as well as their own life experiences, lead them to become.

The debate about what elements determine an unimpeachable parent has been open for centuries, because it has been speculating for centuries about what behaviors and preparation a father and mother should have in order to mirror as closely as possible the image of ideal parents.

Although the results that have emerged from this speculation have generated often conflicting results over time, it has finally come to the conclusion that the perfect parent model does not and cannot exist, because it is what one has experienced and how one has experienced it that determines one's educational method, how one will care for and communicate with one's children.

The only result that has been arrived at, thanks to the efforts of pedagogues and psychologists around the world, is the identification of seven different parental models to which, in principle, each mother and father seems to be able to correspond:

The authoritative parent;

The authoritarian parent;

The attached parent;

The permissive parent;

The free-range parent;

The parent-helicopter;

The non-involved parent

The determination of belonging to one of these parenting styles is given by the way one lives the responsibility of parenting and the educational and communicative method adopted with regard to one's children but, given the versatility and subjectivity of each person it may also happen to be able to identify oneself in two and even more of the styles just enunciated.

The "authoritative parent" is the one who comma according to the opinions of so many experts in child training and education, embodies the most effective and sensible parenting style, because he or she sets very clear boundaries and rules without trespassing into a way of being and a way of thinking that might be comparable to a kind of dictatorship.

A parent who can be described as authoritative is very willing to listen and talk to his or her offspring, shows his or her children that he or she can appreciate virtues and qualities, but most important of all, this parent has realistic and reasonable expectations of his or her offspring.

A person who has been raised by such parents, even from early childhood, manages to be a very self-confident individual compared to his or her peers.

According to what is indicated by the Department of Health and Human Services, an adolescent followed by an authoritative parent has much less predisposition to drug use, the use of violence as a method of dispute resolution, and the practice of reckless sexuality; therefore, everything suggests that the image of the authoritative parent embodies in every way that of the ideal mom and dad, but it should also be pointed out that such a parental approach requires a fair amount of patience and also experience in approaching one's children.

The "authoritarian parent," on the other hand, is the type of parent who tries at all costs to pass on to his or her children the values that he or she believes are right and that, according to his or her intention and conviction, will lead his or her children down the right path.

This type of parent operates through the imposition of very rigid rules and applies himself in commensurating very severe punishments in case of noncompliance, fails to go beyond less than open communication and has very high and often unrealistic expectations of his offspring.

A person who has been brought up with this educational pattern tends to exhibit a way of being impatient and rebellious to the rules imposed by any institution (be it family or school, etc.) compared to their peers who have been raised by different kinds of parents.

This unfortunate result is achieved because the child perceives each rule as a coercive imposition and fails to understand its real meaning.

In addition, the offspring of parents who adopt an authoritarian mindset turn out to show a certain tendency toward depression and other behavioral and personality disorders.

The "attached parent" is then that parent who is very close to his or her offspring, including from the standpoint of continuous demonstration of affection and frequent seeking of physical contact.

The attached parent always tries to make their children feel welcomed and cared for in an environment that is completely protected and safe for them.

Any of the child's needs, even the most insignificant, are immediately met, and according to numerous scientific and academic studies, offspring raised in such an environment develop into low-stress adult individuals with a great sense of empathy, independent and able to effectively control their instinctive impulses and emotions.

The "permissive parent" is the type of parent who reflects the connotations of the father and mother who are friends with their children, connoted by frequent displays of affection.

These parents impose limits and rules that are easy to follow and not at all dictated by rigidity, moreover, the offspring raised adopting this pattern do not receive obsessive-type control and are allowed to make their own decisions independently.

But the downside, according to what is also being pointed out by psychologists and educationalists, lies in the fact that this type of parenting ends up creating children and adolescents with a greater tendency to get into trouble, which can often become quite significant.

This sort of side effect takes place because the children of a permissive parent are allowed perhaps too freely to experiment with whatever they see fit, because in the mindset of the permissive parent, error is the fundamental element of their parenting system and they act under the condition that their children must make mistakes, albeit taking responsibility for the consequences of their actions, in order to learn and grow.

A child in an adolescent raised by a permissive parent often develops into an adult with a certain spirit of independence and resourcefulness, albeit with a greater tendency toward depression.

The "free-range parent" is the kind of parent who even allows their children to take risks, albeit under their own protective wing.

This parenting approach translates into the fact that, even by imposing rules on their children and making them part of the dangers if they do not follow them, free-range parents authorize and even encourage their offspring to roam and experience whatever their instincts suggest, with the intention of making their children more responsible, free and independent.

Certainly, a child raised by such a parent has a high probability of running into numerous risks, but he or she also manages to remain completely unaffected by behavioral disorders such as anxiety, depression, and limiting elements such as pica self-sufficiency.

The "helicopter parent" then corresponds to that model of parenting that plans and makes every single aspect of their children's lives a stage belonging to a specific schedule, whether it be for food or for friends and leisure time.

In his or her way of doing things, this type of parent offers continuous assistance to his or her children and is always ready to put himself or herself on the front line to do his or her best to solve problems that affect them.

However, while motivated by the best of intentions, such a parent might convey to his or her children an idea of a lack of trust in them especially with regard to the autonomous management of all aspects of life, ending up overly influencing their choices.

The parent-helicopter begets children who may end up feeling dependent and suffocated, but at the same time research shows that they are always individuals who continually steer clear of excesses and transgressions.

The flip side of the coin, again, shows a very high price to pay: while a child raised under this educational perspective does not go to excess and always lives by a certain measure, it is also true that he rarely does not run into self-esteem problems.

An adult who has spent childhood and adolescence growing up under such a parental mindset will almost always be an individual who acts under the constant fear of failure and unwilling to resolve any issues that life inevitably poses to each person.

Instead, the "uninvolved parent" reflects the more typical image of the negligent parent.

This parent may find himself or herself responding to this characteristic because of various factors, often arising from contexts of personal difficulty such as having to care for their children alone.

Such a parent has absolutely no presence in their children's lives, for example, they may not be aware of the names of teachers and friends, causing a sense of disregard, little appreciation and invisibility in their children.

The emotional and physical needs of children raised by this type of parent are not met, and even a neglectful father and mother may engage in unresponsive, dismissive, and abusive behaviors.

It should be added that this behavior is generally not even conscious, especially since such a parent most likely was himself a victim of physical and psychological abuse during his childhood and therefore, in a distorted view of reality, for him that behavior corresponds to normality.

Given the circumstances in which they have been forced to live, children of an uninvolved parent tend to develop self-sufficiency at an almost early age, but they also tend to be unable to manage their emotions and show a marked predisposition for disturbed behaviors such as depression, as well as a tendency to have serious problems concerning social relationships.

To all this enunciation we must also add the dysfunctional parent, that is, the type of parent who proves utterly unable to fulfill the tasks imposed on him by his onerous role.

In fact, many parents act in the precise belief that they are doing their best to protect their children and in