Show Me The Way

By Van Cole

I've Never Been With A Man Before

My name is Sammy and it took me a long time to come out.
I figured that dates would come by a lot easier when I did, but the opposite was true.
I searched through the dating apps in the search of hot guys, when a guardian angel appeared in the guise of my bartender; Ron.

Ron was an older man, confident, and knew what he was doing.
I trusted him to help me meet some guys in town.
But it wasn't long before things got complicated.

I didn't know if I could be the man Rod thought I could be.
I thought I was failing.

Then I realized that he had feelings for me.
Should my first time be with him?

Show Me The Way is a standalone Gay First Time Age Gap Romance with a HEA and NO cheating!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Van Cole
• Release date: Apr 18, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215257319

Book preview

Chapter One

Sammy

The whistle blew and I hung up my gear. The construction site was dirty and dusty. Sweat had pooled underneath my clothes and my muscles ached after another hard day’s work. Sometimes I wondered if I was actually 22, or if somehow I had the body of someone who was far older and weaker.

Hey, Sammy, what are you up to tonight? Got a hot date? Bryan asked. The other men around him cackled with glee. I offered them a weak smile and sighed, shaking my head. Yeah, a hot date, that would have been good. They made kissing sounds and laughed at me as I left, and for the first time I wondered if it had been a mistake to come out.

I had wrestled with my feelings for a long time. All through high school I had kept the secret close to my chest, dreading the thought of it ever getting out. I saw other kids having their secrets exposed and they all regretted it. They were made into pariahs and shunned, and I didn’t want that for myself. So I kept my head down and did my best to be an outsider. I never made waves and I didn’t do anything to draw attention to myself, but that started to become a habit and I ended up hiding away until now. But that didn’t seem right, so I thought I should take my life into my hands and tell everyone the truth. After all, I’m not in high school anymore, so what’s the harm? If I’m out then I don’t have to feel as self conscious and I don’t have to worry about not being myself.

But coming out wasn’t what I thought it would be. The guys at the construction site were nonplussed, and my parents said that they had always known. The people I tried to fool at high school weren’t even in my life anymore, so I thought what was the point of even hiding it at all? It felt as though I had wasted a whole lot of my time, and I was ready to catch up. But then nothing much changed. It wasn’t like it was suddenly easier to get dates. I was still the uncertain, unsure guy I always had been and I didn’t know how I was going to change.

I wished I had a hot date. The prospect of it was tantalizing. God, I would have given anything to feel the thrill and excitement of romance. It’s always been something elusive, something that only exists in the realm of fantasy, and something that only happens to everyone else. Even the guys at work don’t realize how easy they have it. They complain about their wives and their girlfriends, taking them for granted. All I want is to look in someone’s eyes and know that they’re thinking about me and only me.

And I’m damned sure that I don’t want to spend another night in my apartment alone, scrolling through all the various dating apps on my phone while the TV plays in the background. It’s far too depressing. So I decide that after I have a shower I’m going to go to a bar and scroll through the various dating apps on my phone. At least this way I get out and it doesn’t feel so pathetic.

There’s a bar down the street in my neighborhood. I only just moved here so I’m still getting used to things. It was another big step that I hoped would improve my chances of having a life; getting out of my parents’ house. I always thought that once high school finished and adult life started things would be dramatically different, but they’re not. I glanced at my reflection in car windows as I passed, sweeping back my sandy blonde hair and debating whether I should grow a beard. My features were still boyish; maybe I should try and appear older. Frankly, I didn’t know what was going to work. I just thought that I must have been uninteresting and plain. After all, it wasn’t like I did much with my life. People wanted exciting, confident people, not someone like me, not someone average.

I entered the bar and was greeted with a strong smell of beer. People were scattered around the bar, most of them were glued to the game that was playing on a TV. There was a group of guys around a pool table, drinking and having fun. I was about to back out, thinking that this wasn’t the right place for me, when someone else came in behind me and pushed me deeper inside. I suddenly felt awkward about turning around and leaving, so I declared to myself that I was going to stay for a drink. I walked to the bar and timidly pulled out a stool, trying to keep to myself. I got my cell out of my pocket and rested it on the bar. The barman was at the other end, serving someone else. When he approached me another guy came up and was about to order, cutting me off. I’d never been good at confrontation. Always thought it was better just to let other people have what they wanted. After all, it wasn’t a big deal if this guy got his drinks before me. I wasn’t in a rush.

Actually I think he was before you. What can I get you? the barman asked. It took a few moments for me to realize that he was speaking to me.

Oh, I stammered, I’ll just have a beer please, I said. The other guy looked perturbed, but he wasn’t about to argue with the guy serving his drinks. I was poured a glass and I slapped a few bills down in reply, tasting the bitter beer. I didn’t really get how anyone could drink this, but I figured I’d have one just to fit in and appear like I belonged, but the taste lingered. I let the beer settle for a while. The guy next to me was finally served and gave me a long glare, as though I had ruined his night. I turned away and tried to keep myself to myself. The last thing I needed was trouble.

I glanced up to the football game, although I had no idea what was going on. You’d have thought that I’d have absorbed a love of football through osmosis. It is the national sport after all, or is that baseball? I don’t know, they’re all the same to me; a bunch of overpaid people playing games for fun, with people treating them like a religion. It’s crazy how much money swims around the world without ever trickling down to the little guy. Still, some of the athletes were pretty cute so I guess I can see why the game would appeal to some people.

I took small sips of my beer, hoping each time that the taste would improve, but it never did. I grabbed a handful of nuts from the bar to get the taste out of my mouth, but these only made me thirstier, which meant I had to drink more, and suddenly I was trapped in this hellish circle of things that made me nauseous.

Is this your first beer or something? the bartender asked, glancing at me. He was fist deep in a glass. The night was slow so I guess he needed something to amuse himself. He was tall and older, but he didn’t show his age he just looked, well, confident and mature I guess, like he knew what he was doing. His hair was thick and dark, and a beard covered the lower half of his face. What really caught my attention were his eyes though. They were dark and swarthy, and yet they also shimmered, as though they were two jewels that had been set into his face with the expectation that they would capture anyone’s attention. His voice was smooth and rich, and he was well-built. He wore a plaid shirt that was open at the collar and he had the sleeves rolled up, revealing thick forearms with hair that swirled down to his wrist.

Not exactly, I replied. I’ve tried a few before. I keep trying it since everyone raves about it, but I can’t get what the hype is about. All it does is make me gassy and if I drink too much of it I want to retch.

He laughed and gestured for me to hand the beer back to him. Let me get you something else then. I wouldn’t be a very good bartender if I let you drink something that’s going to make you feel sick.

Sorry. I cringed and blushed, feeling like a stupid kid who didn’t know what he was doing.

Don’t worry about it. The name’s Ron, he said, holding out his hand. I took it and was amazed at how strong his handshake was. His flesh was so warm as well. Since I was single I had to nourish myself on these brief moments of contact with strangers, so a tingle ran down the middle of my body as I introduced myself. Ron took the glass and sloshed it down a sink.

Okay, let’s try and figure out what kind of thing you like. Have you ever tried anything other than beer?

Only a mouthful of wine at a wedding when I was like fifteen, I said.

Well, that’s a start, Ron smiled. Maybe you’re more of a spirit guy. I’ll give you a few samples, he said, and set out a number of shot glasses. He then gave me shallow tastes of a few different things like vodka, rum, and whiskey, as well as a few other things that I had never heard of. Now just take it easy and try these, see if one of them fits. Choosing your drink is a very important thing you know, but don’t worry, we’ll get to the right one.

I nodded and took a few of these shots, making ugly wincing faces as the strong tastes dripped down my throat, burning and stinging all the way.

Are you just doing this to amuse yourself? I asked in between gasps as Ron was having a whale of a time at my expense.

Oh no, it’s just a perk. Look, this clearly isn’t working out for you, how about I just get you a soda instead? he offered. I shrugged and nodded as he poured me a soda, still shaking his head and laughing, and placed it in front of me. No charge, he