Blues Parish: Will We Dance In Heaven?

By Allan Dayhoff, DMin.

Al Dayhoff, also known as Pastor Al, is a secret lover of dance. He started dancing in his high school years, but then… being a pastor in the church world… he lost it. At some point, Al escaped Orthodox real estate and got into the wild. Now he has one foot solidly on Orthodox real estate, and one foot solidly on non-Orthodox real estate. One of the ways that you'll read this book is to go into it asking, how does a minister, who loves his calling and work of sharing faith, walk in both of these worlds? Come meet his special parish . . .

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 15, 2023
• ISBN: 9781365951466

Book preview

BLUES PARISH

Will We Dance in Heaven?

Allan Dayhoff, DMin.

Copyright © 2023 Evangelize Today Ministries, LLC

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review or scholarly journal.

First Edition

ISBN 978-1-387-30060-0

Evangelize Today Ministries

PO Box 7297, Fairfax Station, VA 22039

Other books by author, Allan Dayhoff, Jr., D.Min.

The Genius in Your Wound: Life’s Worst Can Reveal Your Best

The Confessor: How did I miss this?

Tattoos: Telling the Secrets of the Soul

Church in a Blues Bar: Rethinking Evangelism in a Post-Christion Culture

All scripture passages are used from ESV Study Bible. (2008). Crossway Books.

Evangelize Today Ministries, LLC is a church ministry, 501 (c)(3) non-profit, and a member of the Presbyterian Church in America.  For more information about our ministries, visit us at www.evangelizetoday.com.

Dedicated to our Dance Parish friends

who are now dancing in heaven

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Ali Langhorst

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Vicki Baysinger                                      Will Brimberry

Testimonials

"My knowledge of the Wild, and more importantly the people in it, was minimal. Al Dayhoff helped me step out to pursue people in the Wild. I learned critical intelligence.  I heard people share deep secrets they recorded in their tattoos. This has helped me better speak to those who will never darken the doors of the church. Al's work has given me a passion to step out into the Wild with a gospel presence and given me the tools to do so."

 Steve Edging, pastor

"I literally feel like the Christian community doesn’t hear the music anymore.  We are so afraid of dancing that we reach over and turn off the stereo! When I go into the wild, I’m beginning to hear the music!"

Dr. Mark Auffarth, pastor

There's no mystery - just do it! Your mind may say, No no, but your feet say, Yes yes! I get frustrated with dancing. I've been doing it a long time, but I've never really gotten better – so I stop. But after 4-5 months, I get back out there and dance again!! It's okay to be self-conscious. It's okay to think you have no rhythm. It's okay to stop dancing. It's amazing when you begin again!

Karyn, friend and dancer from JVs

"Blues Parish: Will We Dance in Heaven? is not a prescriptive how-do book that will only add to the guilt you may be feeling that you’re not doing enough to evangelize. Rather, it is a book written to inspire you to, by faith, engage in the adventure and endless possibilities out in the various environments you already move in or have yet to be discovered. It is an appeal to see the Great Commission as a wonderful and wild calling to be embraced and creatively pursued with expectant hope. To be clear, Blues Parish: Will We Dance in Heaven? is just one story unique to Al Dayhoff and the people of his parish. But, in reading it, you will be inspired to discover the unique story God has for you out in the Wild. Go for it!"

Bill Nash, pastor

Lewis had a Clark to partner with him. Al Dayhoff has been more than a partner in evangelism research. He has nudged me into new realms of discoveries I would not have tried otherwise. Al has helped me see that my paradigms have to shift. Rather than 1, 2, 3 steps to telling/presenting. He has helped me see that evangelism is like dancing!

Dave Stover, pastor

"Blessing is a powerful tool to communicate the good news of Jesus to non-church people. The church has, for far too long, removed its presence from the surrounding culture, thus losing favor with the world and losing touch with the cries of hurt that are so evident when we are present to hear.

Al Dayhoff has learned to be present enough to hear the cries of the World. In doing so, he has shown favor to the church world by taking our trembling hand and leading us in the dance to listen, learn, weep, enjoy, and love everyone with the love of Jesus."

Corey Pelton, pastor

"Will we dance in Heaven? Life itself is a dance. It is a dance between people learning to lead, follow, and listen to one another for the common good; that fuels the repeated cycle of life; and between celestial bodies moving among one another. Will We Dance in Heaven? unveils what it means for each of us to dance in this world, for God's glory and the good of your neighbors, and fills us with hope for the joyous dance that likely awaits us in Heaven."

Chris Rufener, pastor

Acknowledgements

I will fall short attempting to tell you about the people behind this unique project. Let me try, but know and imagine me hugging each one, dancing with most, and being brought to tears often when we spend time together.

Thank you to the many, many dance friends in our parish / blues bar. Many of you have lent us your quotes about what dancing is and why you do it. What would life be for me without this dance parish? Unfulfilling at best.

Thank you to Lorraine, the owner of JV’s Restaurant (and blues bar). JV’s is a special place, like none I’ve been in, because of a unique recipe. A recipe of music every night; fabulous home-cooked meals; bartenders who are friends; and a location where the friends from low places, the people who run the world, and the lonely people all gather, again and again and again. See you again tomorrow night is the phrase that is said with just a look. Lorraine adds some secret special sauce to this recipe. I suspect it’s a blend of dance, live music, people who love people, people who don’t fit in somehow fitting in, and … the bartender who just brings your drink of choice without even asking. And did I mention the Greek food? … Oh, my!

Thank you to Ken Hudson, who was on the editing team. We could not have done it without you. Ken has a chapter in this book: Freedom Train. A seasoned man in the bar who helps keep things in order, if you know what I mean. An accomplished life-long soldier and a brilliant dance teacher. Thank you, Ken, for everything.

Thank you to Lynette Wagner, who was the editor in chief. She carried me, the project, a thousand moving parts, and parts that disappeared and then re-appeared. It was Lynette’s extraordinary patience, deep empathic heart, AND mind that made this project come together. She is an industrial engineer that spent the second half of her life training in compassionate communication and emotional healing processes (I think she’s a secret therapist). Who can hold those two worlds in one place? Lynette can. Please read more about her later in this book. Hugs, friend. Let’s keep partnering.

To my life partner Deb. Beauty, professional artist, and potter… you could have a cooking show, you feel your children’s every thought, and maybe the joy in this season is your magnificent grandsons… all three of them! Your artwork on the cover of this book (and all my books) and putting the book together is a crazy stress-filled stretch, and you somehow make it happen. We have been married 40 years, let’s make it 40 more, ok? Oh, and thanks for making me look good on the dancefloor. What dance memories have yet to be experienced? Let’s find out…

Table of Contents

Testimonials

Acknowledgements

Foreword

Invitation from a Spiritual Anthropologist

Part 1:  Researching Dancers in the Dance Parish

The Little Ballerina Book: Darcel’s Story

Freedom Train:  Ken’s Story

If I Could Save Time in a Bottle:  Heather’s Story

Earth Mother:  Jan’s Story

One Last Dance:  Bill’s Story

Jersey Girl: Chris’ Story

Will My Children Dance When I am Gone? - Lisa’s Story

Aurora: Tamara’s Story

Dance of Empathy: Lynette’s Story

Part 2:  Introspection on the First Principles of Dance

Play

The Beat

Ephemeral Art

Fear

Rhythm

Transcendence

Part 3:  Discoveries Reveal Themselves

Lord of the Dance

Dancer in Discovery: Jeanie’s Story

As Spiritual Anthropologists, What Have We Discovered?

Thank You

To Lorraine, Owner of JV’s and Keeper of the Castle

To Lynette: a unique combination of rocket scientist and empathy

Thank you to my Dance Parish

Thank you to my church family friends

Appendix 1: Dance Parish Quotes

What is dance?

Why do you dance?

Will we dance in Heaven?

Appendix 2:  Dance Parish Letters of Love and Hope

Evangelize Today Ministries

Study Guide

Foreword

By Lynette Wagner

Al’s friend and Editor in Chief

Al Dayhoff, also known as Pastor Al, is a secret lover of dance. He started dancing in his high school years, but then… being in the pastor world of the church world… he lost it. At some point, Al escaped Orthodox real estate and got into the wild. Now he has one foot solidly on Orthodox real estate, and one foot solidly on non-Orthodox real estate. One of the ways that you'll read this book is to go into it asking, how does a minister, who loves his calling, work and walk in both of these worlds?

One how for Al was to rediscover dancing. And more than that, he discovered what is written all through this book… and that includes the relationships that could be built on non-orthodox real estate.

In this book, Al will be your guide on a safari tour… taking you into his wild world. (And by the way, to his dear friends in the wild, in the Dance Parish, the same thing. He’ll be taking you on a safari, a little bit, into the church world. And thank you for your patience!)

On this safari, we’ll climb into the truck, you'll see Al take a left-hand turn, we’ll go look at the water buffalo herd. Then we'll stop at a nice cafe and have a tame tea, and then we'll all load back into the truck and go find the hyenas. But at the end of the day, we'll end up in a safe, nice building and we’ll rest. So, welcome to the safari!

A caution about safaris… don’t plan to enjoy every part of it… it can get a bit bumpy, and sometimes it might look scary. Sometimes you'll see things that you don't understand, or can't understand, or can't process. But I think you’ll find there is diversity of perspectives and different kinds of experiences to be discovered. I suspect there will be at least a few a-ha moments and some treasured memories for each person willing to go on the journey.

My request is that you don't expect any part of the journey to be like any other part… and be willing to explore and see what you might find that is meaningful to you. Al’s favorites are the birds-of-paradise [species of bird] …they dance!

Thank you for your patience and please step into the truck. Let's find what we find together. If you see something you haven’t seen before, ask yourself…

What is that?

What does my heart sense that it means?

Am I willing to walk in the wild, like Jesus did?

Invitation from a Spiritual Anthropologist

There's a certain title used to introduce me to audiences around the country. It's the one that I secretly love. The title is Spiritual Anthropologist. And my affinity for this title has much to do with the joy of being in research, introspection, and discovery.

One of the things I suspect rewards a spiritual anthropologist is the energy that explodes from discovery… just as I imagine it is for other seekers and discoverers…

When a dinosaur hunter finds a T-Rex bone, he must keep his whisk broom and his digging tool in sync so that he doesn't damage the bone. But what fuels his discipline? What drives his process? He has found the dinosaur! His inner anthropologist gets ignited. He refines his technique… he is energized by discovery… to pursue the next iteration of search and discover.

So it is with this spiritual anthropologist. I've been studying tattoos for about six years now. It all began with one tattoo interview in my bar…

When the blues bar became my Blues Parish, my optics changed. I saw all the people in the bar as I am theirs, and they are mine. And maybe that’s when I first saw someone’s tattoo. Before then, I didn't care that I didn't care about tattoos. But one night, this lady I didn’t know was sitting at the bar. And out of my mouth came a question. And this question literally changed the trajectory of my life.

Does your tattoo have a story?

The dear lady was about four beers in, so her words were unguarded, her soul was a bit loosened up, and she told me the story…

She was a professional therapist with a special task. She helped special ops forces returning from war… in particular, she helped those that were at risk of committing suicide. Suddenly I saw a beautiful woman, who was a professional, and who was also covered in tattoos. And again, my optics changed, from Professionals don't get tattoos, bar people do to Bar and professional people get tattoos. But the story didn't end there…

One by one, she shared the stories of about ten different tattoos… ten soldiers’ suicides. She pointed to the final tattoo of our time together and said, "This is the last guy that killed himself. I made the mistake… the mistake of getting emotionally involved with him and him becoming my

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boyfriend… And then he killed himself…  And that's why I'm sitting here tonight… drinking."

This was my first tattoo interview, and I'm thinking, I don't have a space for hearing this pain… it’s too raw… a writhing soul six inches away.

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It was one of those moments where the tectonic plates inside of me shifted... a small, unseen earthquake happened inside of me… I bumped into something in my bar that literally changed the trajectory of my life. I pondered how her tattoos were holding the sorrows and pain that was too much for her to hold. Did God create a tattoo to be a vessel for her tears? And this rocked my world!

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle (Psalm 56:8).

The energy that exploded from that interview propelled me… into more than one thousand tattoo interviews all around the United States... and for four months in tattoo studios watching and observing from the corner of the room. Who gets to do that? The culmination of this was Tattoos: Telling the Secrets of the Soul¹.

I've been studying tattoos for about six years now. And to be honest, I've just gotten started. The research, introspection, and discovery has taken me to places like Indonesia, Italy, and throughout the United States, including Alaska.

Last summer, I went to study tattoos for two months in Italy. I went to 24 towns and cities. And to my shock, tattoos were even more prevalent than in the United States.

I remember being in Pompeii… the people living in Pompeii are still digging out… they're still unwinding what their god, Mount Vesuvius, was thinking when he buried the city. They're trying to spiritually understand what they're discovering as the archaeologists are digging.

I made my way to Saint Peter's Basilica in Rome. For those of you that have been there, you know, it's just jaw dropping… there's no way to take it all in. For about a week, I went and sat on the steps that surrounded Vatican City. And a fellow minister texted me at the oddest moment, Do a tattoo interview at the Basilica! And my first response was thinking, That’s stupid. That's crazy. Why would I do that?

And when I turned my head, there sitting next to me was a man and a lady with tattoos.

Without overthinking it, I said to the lady, I'm a tattoo researcher. I went slowly and I handed her my card. She looked at my card. Then she looked back at me, and emotion began to show in her eyes. There was a protectiveness in her husband, but he seemed willing to go along with this stranger who was a tattoo researcher. Does your tattoo have a story?

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She showed me her tattoo… two words: Just Breathe. I am ill. I have lung cancer. And my husband had it, too. She shared her very sweet story, and I had about an hour-long conversation with them afterwards. You can find her tattoo story on Facebook². It was one of those tattoo interviews that changed me forever.

She didn't know why she was sitting there in front of Saint Peter's Basilica. I suspect I do. After studying tattoos for six years, I've come to believe that tattoos are confessions looking for a confessor, but we have none. The wild has gotten so desperate to talk that it’s now telling its secrets to strangers and to themselves. And so there I was, doing a remote confessional booth with this dear lady with the tattoo. And in the background is the building with the most ornate confessional booths in the whole world, largely unused, and we were just outside of it. Here… tattoos were sitting on the steps of Saint Peter's Square… the Square, full of confessions looking for a confessor.

And just like the lady I met at the bar, this lady’s tattoo needed to tell. And more importantly, the owner of the tattoo needed to participate in her own out-loud processing, and what she heard was her own soul speaking.

Another branch of research ignited… the world of the tattoo studio called... and I found myself interviewing hundreds of tattoo artists in dozens of tattoo studios. A new discovery revealed itself… the confessionals and confessors of today’s world… and the book The Confessor: How did I miss this?³ It might not be the end of the journey, but it's a significant stopping place.

I have witnessed a soul speaking through its tattoo owner more than a thousand times. I suspect it is simply because I was allowed in, holding space, listening to hear, and, for some reason, a trusted listener.

The lady at the bar and the lady at the Basilica… changed my life… and I think of them often…

And all the while I’m sitting in my Blues Parish… there is dancing…

Does a spiritual anthropologist dance?

Fresh out of seminary and having no idea how to plant a church, I started by knocking on 6000 doors, saying I’m starting a church. Here's my number. We have a Bible study. And six-thousand doors, sounds like a lot, but when you have nothing else to do, it's really not that hard.

What could go wrong knocking on 6000 doors? …Some called the police, some gifted me a vegetable like a cantaloupe and some thought God had sent me?

At the very first service, our church was 40% non-white. And the way the congregation responded to