The Peculiar Quests of Australia's Greatest Spy

By Martin Lundqvist

Striving to become Australia's greatest spy, Jared Pond goes on frivolous missions worldwide and keeps failing in spectacular ways.

Pond, Jared Pond. Australia's greatest spy and womanizer, according to himself. Equipped with a secret government pill that makes him immune to toxins, Jared carries out missions worldwide for the Australian Prime Minister, Scurry Morrissette.

In his line of duty, Jared faces off against Russian spies, the Yakuza, Norse religion zealots, Malaysian drug smugglers, French aristocrats, Tajikistani rebels, Somalian pirates, and monocle-wearing lunatics.
Unfortunately, the missions invariably fail when Jared bumbles around as the luckiest and most clueless agent the world has ever seen.

Will Jared achieve his goals, and will the Pond Train reach its destination?

Striving to become Australia's greatest spy, Jared Pond goes on frivolous missions worldwide and keeps failing in spectacular ways.

Pond, Jared Pond. Australia's greatest spy and womanizer, according to himself. Equipped with a secret government pill that makes him immune to toxins, Jared carries out missions worldwide for the Australian Prime Minister, Scurry Morrissette.

In his line of duty, Jared faces off against Russian spies, the Yakuza, Norse religion zealots, Malaysian drug smugglers, French aristocrats, Tajikistani rebels, Somalian pirates, and monocle-wearing lunatics.
Unfortunately, the missions invariably fail when Jared bumbles around as the luckiest and most clueless agent the world has ever seen.

Will Jared achieve his goals, and will the Pond Train reach its destination?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Martin Lundqvist
• Release date: Apr 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215672563

Martin Lundqvist

Martin's background Martin is a Swedish male born in 1985 He has lived in Australia since 2012, and has been with his partner Elaine Hidayat since 2013. Martin's writing history Martin wrote wrote his first book, the psychological crime thriller James Locker: The Duality of Fate back in 2013.  After that Martin had a break from book writing for a couple of years. In late 2016, Martin decided to take up book writing again and he finished his Science Fiction novel The Divine Dissimulation a year later. In July 2018 Martin finished his third book, The Divine Sedition. which constitutes the second book in The Divine Zetan trilogy. In 2018 Martin also wrote a short-story for children Matt's Amazing Week and a parody novella called Divine Space Gods: Abraham's Follies In January 2019 Martin finished writing Divine Space Gods II: Revolution for Dummies Martin's style Martin is a multi-genre writer who likes to mix up his works. So far he has released works in the crime, science fiction, humor and children genre, and he intend to write more genres in the future to mix up his repertoire and improve his writing.

Book preview

Jared’s First Mission.

T he winner of Maroubra Hotel’s weekly poker tournament is Jared Pond.

I smiled as the few remaining drunks at Maroubra Hotel applauded my victory as the poker organiser announced my name. I had won $400, enough to have a good time at the nightclub and score myself a root. In any case, it was a welcome addition to my meagre income from surfing and coaching sports such as football.

‘Perhaps, I should save the money and use it as a buy-in for a high-stakes tournament at the casino.’ I thought. At face value, it seemed like a good idea. If I could turn $400 into several thousand, I could go on a proper surf holiday to the Gold Coast for a change of scenery. However, if I lost, it would ruin the great trajectory of the night, and besides, how would I score chicks from playing against the rich gambling addicts at the casino?

I decided to spend the money on drinks at the club instead. If I felt fancy, $400 would pay for dozens of drinks, perhaps even a bottle of French bubbly. The ladies would love that. I turned around to find my friends Aidan and Sam. They were nowhere to be seen.

I picked up my phone and saw a message from Sam. We went to Aidan’s house to smoke weed and watch a movie. Come by after the poker if you want.

‘Fuck!’ I mumbled. I wanted to go someplace glorious with my newfound wealth. I didn’t want to smoke ganja; I wanted to start my quest for glory. ‘Fuck it, I am going to the casino!’ I thought and entered a taxi that took me to the Star Casino in Darling Harbour.

I COULD NOT BELIEVE my luck when I cashed out my winnings from the casino. While I hadn’t won the tournament, I had placed well and made $3,000. More than a month’s pay in a night. ‘Oh, what a night.’ I sang to myself.

Things turned even better when a sexy lady approached me and spoke with an Eastern European accent. Very well played, Mr Pond.

Thanks. I am Jared. What’s your name? I replied

Amasova, Anastacia Amasova. Anastacia replied.

Pond, Jared Pond, I replied, reflecting on how cool that sounded.

Would you like a drink, Jared? I love a winner. Anastacia flirted.

I reflected on her statement. I had finished third, so why did she consider me a winner? ‘Don’t be silly, Jared. Accept the drink.’ My inner voice said.

Yes, I am having what you are having. You seem to know your way around. I said and smiled.

Of course, Jared, Anastacia said, walked up the bar, and returned with two cosmopolitans.

For a second, I felt like a pooftah for drinking a colourful cocktail instead of a beer. Then I looked at the beautiful Anastacia and realised that I was definitely not gay. Things turned even better when she leaned towards me and seduced me. Would you like to come to my room?

Needless to say, there was no way I would reject such an offer, and I joined Anastacia on a walk upstairs. Unfortunately, I didn’t get far; I felt dizzy and collapsed to the floor in the hotel corridor.

MR POND. MY NAME IS Greg Steele, and I am from RAKI. You were drugged and robbed by a foreign intelligence operative.

I opened my eyes and saw the stern-looking man who stood by my hospital bed. What a shitty way to wake up. I had a terrifying realisation. I had sent a selfie of myself and the Russian bombshell to Sam and Aidan. How embarrassing it would be to explain what had happened.

Uhm, I am not sure that I want to file a police report, to be honest. I slurred.

I don’t care what you want, and I am not from the police, Greg replied.

Greg’s answer caught my attention. I gave him a curious look and replied: So, where are you from then?

I told you already. I am from RAKI, the Royal Australian Kangaroo Intelligence. We are a top-secret group working directly under the Prime Minister. Greg revealed.

You are not very top-secret if you tell me about it. So, what do you want? I asked.

We want you to work with us. The group we are after knows the identity of all our agents. However, they don’t know about you. They have already robbed you once and consider you an easy target. They’ll strike again. Greg explained.

What’s in it for me? I asked.

If you are successful with your mission, we will offer you a well-paid government job. Greg offered. I am not sure I want to work for the Man, I replied.

Mr Pond, you are 25 years old, underemployed, and living with your mum. I don’t think you have much of choice. Greg mocked.

I’ll think about it, I replied.

Good, here is my business card, Greg said, handed me his business card, and left my hospital room.

I sighed as Greg left. Not only had Anastacia robbed me of my poker winnings, but a shady government official had also approached me. Could this weekend get any worse?

JARED. WHAT IS WRONG with you? Instead of paying back the money you owe your family, you wasted them while trying to hook up with a Russian prostitute. Don’t you feel ashamed of yourself?

I sighed as my mum scolded me at the hospital. It was debatable whether I owed her money, but I could see her point of view. I was 25 years old and should chip in cash for expenses.

I wasn’t paying for a prostitute. A beautiful woman seduced me, drugged me, and robbed me. I whined.

You should have known that there is no way a beautiful woman would approach you if it weren’t for the money. My mother mocked.

Look, Susanne. The Pond train is a top-rated attraction in Maroubra and surrounding suburbs. I protested.

The fact that you are referring to yourself as the Pond train is pathetic. Besides, your ex-girlfriend Erica described you as a minuteman, and not in the good sense. You better pay me the $5000 you owe me or find another place to stay. Susanne said and left the room.

I sighed and realised that I had to find a job. But, on the bright side, Greg from the government had offered me a job earlier today, so that was a start. I looked at Greg’s business card and pictured what my life would entail as a secret agent. I would become the greatest agent Australia had ever seen!

THE FOLLOWING DAY, I entered the RAKI headquarters in a plain building in Glebe. I met with Greg Steele and Prime Minister Marvin Richbull. The Prime Minister’s presence shocked me; didn’t he have a country to run?

Greg approached me, shook my hand, and spoke. Welcome, Jared. Before we begin, I have two quick questions.

I am ready to answer anything, I replied.

Good. Why are you applying for this job? Greg asked.

‘What a dumb question; he was the one who approached me in the hospital and offered me the job,’ I thought. I answered a bit more diplomatically, Because you’re hiring.

Greg nodded in agreement while Marvin shook his head. Greg spoke again. Where do you see yourself in ten years?

I want to become the greatest agent Australia has ever seen, I replied.

Marvin shook his head frantically, but Greg replied: Great answers, Jared. Welcome to RAKI.

Cool, what do I need to do? I asked.

Greg handed me a stack of money and spoke. We need you to play the poker tournament at the Star tonight. We need you to win enough money to gain the attention of the gold diggers that robbed you and Marvin Richbull. One of the gold diggers has a video of her and Marvin that can never reach the media. The stability of our government is at risk.

What will happen if I don’t win? I asked.

The government has deep pockets. If you lose, we will print more money and give it to you. The main concern is that these videos don’t see the light of day! Marvin replied.

Don’t worry, Mr Prime Minister. I will not fail you. I replied.

"Good. Take these pills. They’ll neutralise the sedatives the girls will use to spike your drink. Find out where they are based and