World's Worst Time Machine

By Dustin Brady and Dave Bardin

“… fast-paced action, humor, and strong characters… Brady has written a great series starter that also has a nice sprinkling of history, a little science, and engaging, fun characters. Highly recommended.” — Jean Little Library  
When Liam summons Thomas Edison to help him finish his book report, the time machine delivers the wrong one. This Thomas Edison is a 10-year-old aspiring gangster from 1933 who demands to be called “Tommy Twinkles” and is also very interested in robbing a bank of the future. Liam could use some help from his parents here, but unfortunately, the time machine has kidnapped them both. In desperation, he turns to his friend Elsa. To set things right, these two fifth graders must embark on an adventure full of sci-fi gadgets, real-life gangsters, time travel, and a whole lot of Cheetos.
 
With over two million books sold, author Dustin Brady has mastered the art of hooking kids on reading. Short chapters filled with heart-pounding adventure, hilarious twists, and unforgettable characters keep even the most reluctant readers invested to the last page. This new series adds real-life history to the formula, making it a fun, fresh way to teach history.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
• Release date: Apr 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9781524886905

Dustin Brady

Dustin Brady writes funny, action-packed books for kids. Although he regularly gets locked out of his own accounts for forgetting passwords, Dustin still remembers the Super Mario Bros. 3 game genie code for infinite lives. It’s SLXPLOVS. Dustin lives in Cleveland, Ohio, with his wife, kids, and a small dog named Nugget.

Book preview

1.jpg

Other Books by Dustin Brady

Escape from a Video Game: The Secret of Phantom Island

Escape from a Video Game: Mystery on the Starship Crusader

Escape from a Video Game: The Endgame

Trapped in a Video Game

Trapped in a Video Game: The Invisible Invasion

Trapped in a Video Game: Robots Revolt

Trapped in a Video Game: Return to Doom Island

Trapped in a Video Game: The Final Boss

Superhero for a Day

Leila and Nugget Mystery: Who Stole Mr. T?

Leila and Nugget Mystery: The Case With No Clues

World’s Worst Time Machine copyright © 2023 Dustin Brady. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of reprints in the context of reviews.

Andrews McMeel Publishing

a division of Andrews McMeel Universal

1130 Walnut Street, Kansas City, Missouri 64106

www.andrewsmcmeel.com

ISBN Paperback: 978-1-5248-7708-8

ISBN Hardback: 978-1-5248-8413-0

Ebook: 978-1-5248-8690-5

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022948550

ATTENTION: SCHOOLS AND BUSINESSES

Andrews McMeel books are available at quantity discounts with bulk purchase for educational, business, or sales promotional use. For information, please e-mail the Andrews McMeel Publishing Special Sales Department: [e-mail].

Race Against Time

The Mad Scientist Down the Street

Garage Sale of the Century

BYOC

World's Worst Time Machine

Tommy Twinkles

Cheetos

Chaos

Thomas Edison Robs a Bank

Plan D

Liam the Liar

Creepy Karpis and the Barker Boys

Home Alone

Frankenstein Santa

No Funny Business

Sweet Dreams

The Button

The Pit

Abnormal, Paranormal, Supernormal

Cats Are Spies

End of Days

Man of Genius

Creepier Karpis

Midnight

Farkas Fracas

Christmas Day

Meet the Cast

After-credits Scene

Liam Chapman started every day the same way: in a white-knuckled race against time.

Beep! Beep! Bee—

Slam!

Liam silenced his alarm clock by slamming the snot out of it. Most kids use phones or parents to wake them up, but Liam preferred this clunky digital clock with an out-of-date iPhone dock because it was so slammable. He rolled out of bed and took two steps before opening his eyes.

Sixty seconds.

Liam stumbled down the stairs in a way that suggested his legs hadn’t quite woken up at the same time as the top half of his body. Downstairs in the kitchen, he grabbed a banana from the counter and a backpack from the chair.

Byemomndad, Liam mumbled to his parents.

Liam! his mom said. I’ll drive . . .

Liam couldn’t concentrate on the rest of her sentence with the countdown ticking in his head.

Forty-seven seconds.

In exactly forty-seven seconds, Mrs. Kessling would pull the school bus up to the corner of Matilda Street and Dearborne Avenue. Mrs. Kessling was never late—even by one second. Anyone who wasn’t standing at the intersection’s southwest corner by 7:17 a.m. would get left behind. Mrs. Kessling had a schedule to keep.

Liam had a schedule to keep, too. Sure, he could set his alarm a few minutes earlier. That might free enough time to wear something besides school clothes to bed or choose a hairstyle other than tumbleweed. But that wouldn’t be nearly as much fun as seeing the scowl on Mrs. Kessling’s face every morning when he jumped onto the bus just in time.

Liam jammed his feet into his shoes without bothering to untie them. He’d perfected the art of wriggling his foot at just the right angle to slip inside rather than crushing the back and turning the shoe into a flip-flop. He flung open the side door, took three steps down the driveway, then made a noise that sounded like a half-croak, half-gasp.

Ahhgck?

Dearborne Avenue—a quiet street that ended in an even quieter cul-de-sac—had transformed into an absolute circus. Greasy men with greasy beards crowded the sidewalk. A van painted with the words CATS ARE SPIES! had parked in front of his house. Multiple people carried bullhorns.

Thirty-nine seconds.

Liam took a quick breath and started running.

No cuts! a man wearing a leather jacket covered in five hundred patches yelled as Liam squeezed past.

This is my driveway! Liam yelled back.

Back of the line! someone dressed as Bigfoot growled.

Just trying to get to the bus!

No one’s getting on my bus! another voice yelled.

Liam glanced left just in time to notice a rusty bus with an inflatable alien and U.F.O. tied to its roof. The alien held a sign that read, U.F.UH-OH THE GOVERNMENT IS LYING TO YOU.

Twenty-seven seconds.

Liam considered crossing the street but noticed a police officer watching everyone with wary eyes. Liam couldn’t get arrested for jaywalking on his own street! He heard the familiar rumble of the bus and started sprinting faster.

Twenty-one seconds.

Liam hurdled someone camping on the sidewalk . . .

Twenty seconds.

. . . sidestepped a camerawoman . . .

Nineteen seconds.

. . . and crashed into Mortimer Pitts.

Mortimer Pitts hosted the beloved Mocha with Morty in the Morning segment on Channel 5 News. He’d won multiple Regional Daytime Emmy awards for his delightful reporting on local businesses and wacky events. And now, for some reason, he’d planted himself right in Liam’s way.

Oof! Liam bounced off of the reporter and fell to the ground.

Morty Pitts, ever the professional, flashed his Regional Daytime Emmy–winning smile to the camera and offered a hand to Liam. Looks like we have one eager shopper. Son, can you tell me . . .

No, Liam couldn’t. He had a bus to catch.

Seven seconds.

Liam mumbled an apology and took off toward the bus. The last kids were walking on now.

Six. Five. Four.

Liam wasn’t going to make it. He locked eyes with Mrs. Kessling. Her mouth curled into a smile that looked eerily similar to the Grinch’s right before he robs all the Whos.

Three. Two. One.

Mrs. Kessling reached to close the bus door, then squawked when she saw that Elsa Rutledge had stopped to tie her shoe with one foot on the sidewalk and one foot on the bus stair.

Get on the bus! Get on right now! Mrs. Kessling commanded.

Elsa fumbled with her laces like she was a five-year-old instead of a fifth-grader.

Liam dodged one final man trying to hand him a cryptozoology pamphlet and slid around Elsa onto the bus.

Hi, Mrs. Kessling!

Mrs. Kessling’s face settled into a scowl even more disgusted than normal. Liam plopped into a seat, and Elsa sat next to him a second later.

Thanks, Liam whispered.

Elsa nodded a slight acknowledgment.

As the bus started rolling, Liam looked out the window. The line of weirdos stretched across the intersection all the way down Dearborne Avenue’s cul-de-sac. Liam craned his neck to try glimpsing where everyone was headed. Suddenly, it hit him. Liam’s eyes widened, and he leaped to his feet.

STOP THE BUS!

Mrs. Kessling, of course, did not stop the bus. SIT DOWN!

I need . . .

Elsa grabbed Liam’s shirt and yanked him into the seat.

But, but, but . . . Liam gestured wildly toward the big brick house at the end of the cul-de-sac. He desperately wanted to do more than gesture, but he’d only been awake for 90 seconds, and his mouth still needed a bit more time to connect with his brain. Elsa waited patiently for Liam’s body to finish booting up. Finally, he calmed down enough to say, The garage sale’s today!

Yeah, I see that.

I need to go!

You actually need a mint. Elsa fished in her backpack for the tin of mints she kept for Liam.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime thing! Liam said.

You know what would be a once-in-a-lifetime thing?

Like, nobody knows what’s inside that house! NOBODY! They should let us off of school for this!

You brushing your teeth in the morning. That would be a once-in-a-lifetime thing. Elsa held out a mint.

Liam was absolutely befuddled that Elsa was not taking this more seriously. You know who lived there, right?!

Mmhmm.

Professor Wolfgang Snellenburg!

Right.

They made a documentary about him!

"I know. Take