Entry-level in the Anal-level or a Manual for Virgins and Fuckers

By Ondrej Vejsada

There are plenty of instructions on how to pick up, unpack and then even unpack a woman, but mostly it's just bullshit from bullshitted dreamers. I don't wanna play smart, I don't wanna put honey around your mouth. I want to write my experience - take it or leave it... I don't give a shit. Think of it as a conversation between friends over a beer. That's why I strongly warn women against reading this book. I'm not forbidding, I'm not discouraging, but I'm warning!  You will peek under our noses, as I have (not only) peeked under yours.
    This book is harsh, yet and perhaps that is why it is so true, honest, open and real. If you want to use that kind of scientific punditry, it's hyperrealistic, provocative, decadent, existentialist, cynical to the point of nihilistic... But let's stop playing these lame games. Let's finally be ourselves and be who we really are.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ondrej Vejsada
• Release date: Mar 22, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215502792

Ondrej Vejsada

www.vejsada.art

Book preview

Warning: the book is intended for MEN!

It uses profanity, is not hypocritical,

but brutally open and honest.

Read only at YOUR OWN RISK!

Entry-level in the anal-level or a manual for beginner

virgins and ending fuckers

There's a lot of instructions on how to pick up, unpack and then even evacuate a woman, but mostly it's just bullshit from bullshitted dreamers, bullshits. I don't wanna play smart,

I don't wanna put honey around your mouth. I want to write my experience - take it or leave it... I don't give a shit. Think of it as a conversation between friends over a beer. That's why

I strongly warn women against reading this book. I'm not forbidding, I'm not discouraging, but I'm warning! You will peek under our noses, as I have (not only) peeked under yours. I have experienced everything described here. At least I don't consider myself a complete moron, so I can understand what

I have experienced and articulate it in a way that makes it clear why I experienced it and why it happened the way it did.

This book is harsh, yet and maybe that is why it is so true, honest, open and real. If you want to use that kind of scholarly punditry, it's hyperrealistic, provocative, decadent, existentialist, cynical to the point of nihilistic... But let's stop playing these lame games with each other already. Let's finally be ourselves and be who we really are. Let the argument be that I have been an almost fully faithful husband for thirty years and then, after my wife left me for a lover, a fucker of enormous proportions experiencing seven relationships at once in one maximum moment... In short, I know something about life and women or at least I have experienced a lot = that's what I want to write here - look no further...

To all the critics and especially feminists who will be quietly vomiting in the corner after a glimpse, I have only one message - folks, put your nipples behind your foreskins!

––––––––

Entry-level in the anal-level, huh?!

It's a really weird title, Entry-level in the anal-level, isn't it? One possible interpretation is that even though I'm starting out, I'm still totally fucked...

It took me a long time to be persuaded to write this unflattering and at times even disrespectful story. I was persuaded only by the promise of publishing it in memoriam, or certainly only at a time when the possibly still living persons concerned will not be in a condition to fully understand the content of what I have written... Nevertheless, I succumbed and finally agreed that the lessons of my experience are worth recording for the possible edification of future generations. I do not expect your approval, nor do I even cling to the enthusiasm of the facts presented. But, believe it or not - I am writing it all down as I have experienced it, and let the strength of this writing be in its truthfulness, openness and honesty - as I have tried to live it in the end.

I guess beginner as a concept is understandable, right?

I didn't begin to consider myself a true beginner in the dating market sense until around my forty-fifth year. It was around the time that I became just that, an anus. I mean, loser. A loser. Well, I must disappoint you. While the name would suggest anal intercourse, it is not at all the practice I call positional miss.

So first a few (probably unnecessary) words about me

Maybe not entirely useless, because they explain how

I have worked my way through my life to those advice and insights = i.e. about the origin of my practice.

I spent thirty years trying to maintain a dysfunctional relationship and finally my wife ran off to an even older but much richer lover. More specifically, after thirty years of relationship and twenty-six years of marriage, my dear spouse found (at age forty-five) another candidate for a husband! She just somehow forgot to tell me for almost two years...and at the moment when I had already started to scratch my antlers against the door frames, I forced her to confess without any provable evidence, only on the basis of clues and my intuition. Had it not been for that, this rather paradoxical state of affairs would have continued for much longer. I would have continued to take care of most things, finance most payments, etc., and she would have...

In a way it is sadly funny or tragicomic that according to her words she still likes me and appreciates my calm, easy-going and kind nature and even says I am really cool with how calmly I even accepted this news, but she can't help it, she just loves him and she can't have both...so she is moving in with him, quitting her job, leaving Cologne completely, just burning bridges.

You know, I must have listened badly when we got married, because her argument, which is really the only one she uses to defend her actions, is that she wasn't happy with me -

I thought they were saying something along the lines of for better or worse, but I guess I wasn't paying attention and they were saying we should be together until we were happy, then we should find someone else to be happy with again for

a while, etc.

The sad part of all this is that in the same year my son, who was not even eighteen years old (okay, so only seventeen), moved to Prague with his girlfriend...he just couldn't handle his own mother anymore and I didn't have the strength to keep gluing the crumbling relationship together forever. And so

I lost almost at once my son, whom I love and who is in fact my reason for being; and my wife, and I foolishly assumed that now that we had an empty nest, that the second honeymoon would begin - well...it did, but somehow without me, I was left out! I mean, yes, my life had collapsed, I was rectally, I mean totally fucked. The philosophy of absolute shit.

My son's reaction sums it up best, I'm not going to judge my mom, and it's her life, but it's definitely a disgusting fuck up! And I'll add to that that I'm not going to solve this at seventeen, so I'll smile, pat her (which I actually did anyway) and say I'm not going to stop her from being happy...but at forty-five,

I don't know, well...

And as an afterthought and conclusive telling facts = one Sunday there was a confession, the next weekend she was all over him and came back with a new iPhone and an unlimited plan paid for by him. The next one she was there only on that Sunday, but she arrived in a new car. To be fair, he said she was going to pay him back (I don't doubt that, but

I preferred not to ask what with)...

What the fuck is that? It's basically turned out exactly the other way around! I'm saving my family for the sake of my child and my wife is fucking around and is supposedly unhappy?!?!?! 😀 I guess I'm a woman or something! Shit, shame then that I don't believe in reincarnation, but apparently it's obvious = I'm a reincarnated lesbian, that's obviously why

I behave more like a woman, that's why I understand them so much, that's why the warmth of the family hearth comes first for me! And besides, if you knew how I perceive colours, smells, how communicative I am (how I just like to talk), how

I relate to cleaning, order, hygiene (how I just wash and smell all the time) and what about my absolute disdain for organised sport or how I love oral sex, and many times more than traditional fucking... Well... but, since I obviously understand them so well, since I quite understand many of the tricks they use on us and even use the same tricks myself and often quite intuitively at times, so why not take advantage of it? Why not use their own weapons against them, or actually, more accurately, for my own benefit - after all, I'm not fighting them, I just don't want to be a fool and a moron anymore? Immoral? Unethical? Mean? Pathetic? Maybe, but I've tried to live the best I can up to now and the result? I'm left alone, like a stake in a fence, so fuck it! Go live and enjoy yourself! And moralists of the universe, fuck you! I'm just going to do what works and leave the utopian bullshit to the sun worshippers...

So this book is actually a kind of psychological Aikido = i.e.

a martial art or better self-defense using the opponent's energy and strategies against him - how effective!!!

The harsh truth about packing girls or let's start from

the beginning

I'll give it to you straight without hesitation or circumlocution = guys are not the ones who actually hit on women! The truth is, unfortunately, that women only allow men to experience the feeling of the hunt and especially his victory in it (because he loses his guard and is easier to manipulate - that's why women like to remember our first meeting so much!). Of course, the one who chooses is not

a man, but a woman! The woman therefore allows the chosen male individual to be picked up by her! The woman is always in control and we, like morons, naively play their games, even without realizing it in the vast majority of cases!!! (I will discuss the topic of female gaming more in a separate chapter...)

Don't you believe? Instead of embarrassing persuasion, I'd rather give you an example from life. For the sake of maximum correctness, I borrow the idea from one of Dr. Hausmann's books - on the one hand, I dare to recommend his works to you highly, and on the other hand, why bother with something that I couldn't think of better myself and that fits exactly into this passage of my writing, no? So fuck it...

So then - let's use the most hackneyed situation = you're in

a bar or at a disco or whatever the shit is called these days and you like some chick, bone, slut (formerly just a shrew). You're thinking about how to approach her...well, let's face it, between us guys, we're thinking more about how to fuck her - are any of us really thinking about living together, visiting relatives or buying diapers? Is there really one? Poor...

––––––––

So, you're thinking, dude, offering her a drink is really lame, I have to be more original than these dumbasses - I'm in

a different league. Okay, so you go to her and invite her for

a short, not very challenging, but all the more romantic walk to a nearby

Reviews for Entry-level in the Anal-level or a Manual for Virgins and Fuckers

[ancientdesire · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Absolutely amazing! I truly recommend it to adults! Great job!