The Tall Tales of Anglesey Herman

By Martin Gregory

Anglesey Herman. Rover. Wanderer. Most people run when they see him coming.

From suffering a crippling fear of stilts, to an unhealthy pre-occupation with Queen Elizabeth's cookie jar. He's suffered swordfish attacks, smears on his reputation and faced down the mystery of the Christmas Tree Stripper. These incredible tales are all just another blade of grass in the lawn of life for Anglesey Herman.

This anthology of original short stories, told by Anglesey Herman's chief biographer, Martin Gregory relates the strange life and times of Wale's most prolific wanderer.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Martin Gregory
• Release date: Mar 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215019450

Martin Gregory

Martin Gregory is an independent writer and raconteur based in South Wales, in the United Kingdom. He is the author of several ebooks, available through various outlets and was the editor of the No Script For Life website from 2018 to 2023. He produces newsletters on Substack and continues to write mystery stories, offbeat thrillers and guide books for the ebook market.

Book preview

THE TALL TALES

OF

ANGLESEY HERMAN

By

Martin Gregory

Anglesey Herman Gets a Swordfish in the Gregory

Anglesey Herman woke up with a swordfish stuck in his neck and, boy, did it hurt!

Herman spent the night sailing on the North Sea with Matchstick Ken (Matchstick Ken is very tall and very pale, all except his face which looks permanently sunburned. From a distance he bears a remarkable similarity to a large Swan Vesta match). It had a been a balmy summer evening and drinks had flowed like the falls of Niagara. Between them they managed to swallow enough ale and whiskey to sink a lifeboat. At 2am Herman passed out on the deck and awoke five hours later to find a medium-sized swordfish embedded in his neck.

How did Anglesey Herman get a swordfish stuck in his neck? Really, how did that happen?

Herman was very fortunate, the fish didn’t pierce his windpipe or any other vital airway, and although the swordfish was firmly embedded it didn’t actually penetrate that deeply. It was also very dead so it hadn’t squirmed and caused an awful lot of damage.

It’s quite a shock to wake up and find a scaly piscene sticking unsightly out of one’s neck. Herman very carefully removed the creature and the wound bled quite considerably but Herman, no stranger to flesh wounds, staunched the blood and glued it shut.

Funnily enough the question of how the fish came to be stuck in his neck didn’t peak Anglesey Hermann’s interest in the slightest. What did peak his interest however was the fact that he and Matchstick Ken now had something pretty decent to cook