The Trials and Tribulations of J.D. Babycakes

By D.A. Walker

Imagine this: living in a world where common sense is clearly no longer common nor does it make sense, where realism may or may not be real because “made up” is easier to accept but hard to explain.

And finally, where one influential voice, albeit one with a flip flop wavering vibrato of insufficient substance and accountability, catapulted with a mindless band of attached sticky notes, is par for the golf course of life.

Freedom! To escape! Freedom! To think deeply!

Freedom! To be a space saver without apology!

Enter J. D. Babycakes to offer you another mind-blowing world of the following:

Your inner facsimile of debatable self.

Reality surmises we all have a part, a bit, a smidgen of J. D. Babycakes in each of us.

And why not? J. D. Babycakes is an evolution. She continues to evolve with time, with life experiences, in wisdom, in truth, and in conflict. She is a deep thinker seen as an oddball at times. In short, she is an imperfect presence.

Her only insight to others would be one of those mirror images of Who are you anyway—a leader, a follower, an in-betweener, or a space saver.

So in the end, it doesn’t matter what thinking process J. D. Babycakes utilizes. Her only message to you is to dig deeper and to know that when you do, sure, you might go overboard. Just try not to drown yourself!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 22, 2022
• ISBN: 9798885401005

Book preview

A Frame of Mind

J. D. Babycakes was always misunderstood. Not surprisingly, she connected with La La Land. I was in my own world, fixated on the stagnant plastic lei that decorated her dress collar. A few fake petals flapped about. Turned out the ceiling fan was on. La La guessed it was a crimson-colored velvety-feeling dress her lei laid on. Mystery solved.

I stood mesmerized by J. D. Babycakes’s eyes—expansive, expressive, and full of curiosity. They made me want to dance with her seemingly boneless body for eternity. It could contort itself at will. Her colossal eyes were noticeably bigger than her mouth; she never spoke. La La reminded me, We all have some kinda picture frame that just ain’t hanging right in each of us.

Daddy’s Girl

J. D. Babycakes loved her Hi Daddy! He was half the spitting image of his namesake. In all honesty, it was just a splinter of an image, but they were still blood.

Hi Daddy was a whole lot taller, had black olive-sized eyes only without the holes, a nose with a scent, ears that could be seen because he was bald, with a mouth that moved. Hi Daddy’s body knew its way around a room. Like that time he attended a meet-and-greet town hall and no one showed up.

There was a clairvoyant form of lip-synching silence going on between Hi Daddy and his Baby Girl.

Hi Daddy always knew Daddy’s Girl was special. Daddy J reckoned J. D. Babycakes was the coup de grâce for every father who had a daughter but really wanted a son.

A Trip to Paris

It was a lifetime trip! Something to be told at family reunions. J. D. Babycakes blurted out in her head, But we have never had a family reunion! Ever!

Canopy, her friend—spelled like the ruffled billowy swag top of a really cool looking bed—interrupted J. D. Babycakes’s thoughts, shouting, "I want to go to Paris too! Canopy continued, If I were you, I would wear your favorite black leather clogs that make your feet look half their size."

J. D. Babycakes began dancing around her room with an eighteen-by-twenty-four picture of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, responding, You can wear my clogs to Paris.

Canopy stared at J. D. Babycakes for a moment, with the twirling poster whirling around the room with her, before sharing some insight. You can’t change your destination with the twirl or a whirl around the room, J. D. Babycakes. You’re gonna have to change your ticket.

The Equation

J. D. Babycakes didn’t have a mean bone in her body. Fact: she didn’t have any bones. Besides, it was just a figure of speech. She did love science—a lot! She thought of becoming a sports doctor. Or a paleontologist, a scientist who studies lost and found bones. Still, J. D. Babycakes had a lot of creative energy. She spazzed out playing drums.

Here she was at a movie premiere, being lauded as a selfless congenial young lady with no bone to pick with anyone, watching the beginning of A Bone by No Other Boneology. Her story.

Funny how life works out, huh. One moment, J. D. Babycakes was doing what she does best, lying very still with her eyes wide open, observing other people observing her thinking about what must be on her mind. And the next thing, everyone’s gone!

Like Hi Daddy would say, Bone today, bone-free tomorrow.

The Prissy Princess Fit for a Queen

It was the once upon a time, the happily ever after, and the don’t worry, be happy phrases that became fodder for J. D. Babycakes’s daydreams of becoming a princess fit for a queen. She had this strange fascination with royalty. Perhaps her inspiration came from the crimson-colored part-satin and part-velvety dress with the matching nightcap and unnecessary lei she wore practically all the time. Okay, every day.

Stars shaped like golden crowns appeared as silhouettes in J. D. Babycakes’s eyes. She could hear the sound of birds chirping outside her ground-floor window.

That’s it! J. D. Babycakes shouted inside her head. For every chirp I hear, I feel that my prince charming is getting closer. It was at this very moment that J. D. Babycakes’s inner light of reasoning flashed on: I’ve kissed a lot of frogs, but an eagle, never!

In Her Imaginary World

Learning to fly was on the top of J. D. Babycakes’s happy list. Her eyes shined like stars in the sky with a curious and faraway look. She had traveled to many faraway places already—Paris, an African safari, Egypt to see the pyramids, and Minnesota, to name a few. Of course, these excursions were all by plane.

By default, J. D. Babycakes was a strange little girl with a tender and loving heart. She lived in Dreamland. Actually, she thrived there. It was her home, a place where she could believe and be relieved. It housed a captured memory she could always trust along with a discovered admission of reassurance that set her mind-ticking wheels into motion. And when all her emotional chains came to a let it all fly away halt, J. D. Babycakes felt free to spread her wing-like arms to say with a charming smile, That was nice!

A.N.D. with a Smile and a Wave

J. D. Babycakes is friendly. Her voice is silent. Her smile is loud.

She loves early morning walks and is in tune with nature and the spontaneous interacting sounds: bristling branches and twigs as miniature cotton-tailed bunnies playfully romp about, wings of flapping birds as they fly from tree to tree between leaves, and the scampering of critters on the ground crawling from one place to another. Creepy!

J. D. Babycakes’s favorite walking trail is a residential enclave surrounded by