The Alien: The Complete Vagabond's Guide to Warning Your Planet of Its Certain Destruction

By B. Maya

Escaping their conquered planet Zion, the Nomein flee to an uninhabited planet to rebuild their new home on Halcyon and forget their people's tragic past. Everyone follows blindly under Mayor Surfiet's rule as they keep their heads down and avoid questions, except for one. Narb, a waste transporter, searches for clues to find his Father, the Great King of Zion. Narb is haunted by vivid, prophetic dreams of a planet in ruin, and when he looks to the stars, Halcyon's destruction and redemption are unraveled. With the help of a newfound friend, Bleep, Narb urgently seeks to evacuate the planet and spread the word of their impending doom as they are enraptured in an all-out war on truth. This unlikely duo must evangelize the only salvation Halcyon has left while evading government detection. But who will listen?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 22, 2019
• ISBN: 9781642994407

Book preview

Chapter I

The Great Migration

Now, by all stretches of the imagination, Zion was our home, but despite their so many efforts to empty our minds, I still saw all those lumbering nomein upon the SS Prometheus. I remembered feeling, in every respect, cramped and entirely claustrophobic.

When the terribly horrifying insurgents blitzed us, I still remembered hearing those wretched screams and the Great-King-awful stench of those vomit-invoking creatures. And let me attest with you, you haven’t lived until you’ve had the laser cannon of an actual leviathan’s mortar come whizzing by your head. It made this loud sort of VOIP-type noise exiting their mouths. The pungent stench they produced when they unlatched their mouths made your stomach want to curdle and flip entirely inside out. I also remembered when they made themselves visible to us. The totality of what I saw was the scrambling of nomein generals, captains, and making His way through the swarms, my Dad Sirhc.

He was the one and only son of the Great King of Zion. We called Him the Great King for He reigned with all majesty and wisdom. I said this with great pride because that made me an heir. He was also the great LORD over all the land of Zion.

Now that I looked back on it, I had it pretty good back on Zion. While my mother’s cooking wasn’t always off the rocket, I could always, without fail, count on my Dad to be there for me. And I’m going to go ahead and say it: if you needed His help, He would give it. Countless times He stayed late to help a fellow noman with a project or gave up His lunch to allow a poorer noman to eat.

Another thing I loved about my Dad was that He always gave His absolute, sincerest service. I wasn’t sure if it was that crooked smile He bestowed on you or if it was the warmth of hearing your name fall from those kind and gracious lips of His.

I vaguely recalled the nauseating feeling the ship gave me as all Hades broke loose over the ship’s decks. As the leviathans made their first blast, I recalled the captains and ship engineer being flung clear across the room. Then, for a split second, the lights flickered as gravity shifted and the ship tilted at a forty-five-degree angle.

For a moment, I lost sight of my Dad. I was flung across the deck also, landing next to a photon blaster, which I fumbled to pick up. I looked for my Father, and as I searched the empty hallways, I caught a small glimpse of His flowing scarlet cape. Instantly I was convinced, based on the movement of the fiery, blazing red cloak, that He was headed toward the ship’s break rooms. I cried out to Him with all my might.

Abba! But my voice was drowned out by the echoes of war. I took a shortcut through some empty barrels and crates to the break rooms. When the leviathans made their second and final blast of the night, I felt the trembling in the floor. The lights blinked out.

Right where I expected to see my Dad, I was coldly received, like a bat out of Hades, by a shady dark figure with a single glowing eye. I realized that I was standing beneath the head of an actual leviathan. Its low, raspy breathing released a pungent stench. I recognized the distinct miasma of burning sulfur from my chemistry classes back on Zion.

The conglomeration, by obligation, forced all the children of chemists who worked for the kingdom to enroll in the courses of chemistry, biochemistry, and advanced robotics to ensure the future proceedings of the empire.

I made out his ginormous outline by the emergency backup lights that had just come on. He looked devilish in absolute appearance in the low, dim red lighting. I immediately froze. As my shaky and trembling hands fumbled with the pistol, he simply looked at me, as if to say, I can’t believe you’re going to actually try. He wrenched up his left pincer, snatched the blaster from my shaky hands, and projected it to the wall.

The next moment, he had me by the leathery skin of my back and propelled me, fortunately, to the same wall as the plasma pistol. The very instant I landed, I took ahold of my firearm, barrel-rolled, and let off an impressive seven rounds into the intoxicating beast’s hideous face.

’Twas only after I’d completely obliterated the horrendous brute that it came to my attention I wasn’t alone. Apparently, sometime during my run-in with the dragon, Major Surfeit had moved into the corner opposite of where the immense incident had just played out. I could tell it was him by the tiny jinglejangle that came from the many medals on his ornamented coat. Major Surfeit was the commander for the Grand Emperor of Zion’s armies and worked closely with my Dad pursuing technological advances. He was a very grave and hardworking noman. For the most part, his body was one big, huge bulking eye; his hands, I must say, were like those of an infant, and to top it all off, his smell was like that of lavender.

It was very hard to take him seriously, and I honestly don’t even know how he got himself to smell of lavender, but either way, it was really distracting from whatever it was he was trying to say. He had a gelatinous lime-green potbelly that strained the buttons on his uniform. It felt as if he stood, but in actuality, he was sitting in a hoverchair. For the most part, the major’s arms were limp, but his legs, on occasion, stiffened on the front of his hoverchair, thus putting himself up to stay standing a mere three meters tall. He only came up to about where you’d expect to find a nose on me. I think it was his authoritative presence that demanded your attention whenever he was in a room.

When he realized I detected him, he warmly came up to me and placed his cool hands on my warm shoulders. There you are, my son, he spoke. Are you all right?

Yes, I’m fine, I replied.

Immediately, he shook me vigorously. Then what on Zion were you thinking? You could’ve gotten yourself killed!

I pulled away and retorted, I was looking for my Dad. I saw his cape and followed it back here when the leviathan attacked.

Then he took a second to regain his composure. Yes, but who did you get this photon blaster from? Don’t you know I’m responsible for you since your Father… His voice trailed off.

Wait! What happened to my Dad? I stomped my foot in protest. That wasn’t the correct response. For the moment I did it, I found Major Surfeit’s guards step in between him and me. They grabbed my left forearm and clenched my bruised back as though they were going to rip my paper-thin skin. They forced me down in front of him.

Major Surfeit sternly pointed his finger at my eye. You’re coming with me, he demanded as he took off down the dark, empty corridor.

I screamed, kicked, and protested the whole way down to wherever he was taking me. When we arrived at a dismal room, the guards pushed me in then quickly slammed the door shut before I had the chance to slip away. I heard the sound of all the locks and deadbolts sliding into place, ringing out, and echoing across the whole lower level. In the cold blackness, I sat crying my eye