The War Within Us

By Cory Jones

I have spoken little of places and times, units, and organizations to be nonspecific to those things. There were many battles and conflicts in Vietnam, some repeatedly fought, year after year, by the United States and other countries as well, before our involvement in it. This book is not an account of anyone's triumphs or any political aspect of whether the war was right or wrong. This writing accounts for conflicts, mental and physical extremes of just one soldier's experience, and the ability to cope with his friends' and enemies' deaths. I never had any enemies in Southeast Asia, just different people on different sides. However, being naive, young, and uninformed about worldly things was undoubtedly a significant handicap when I willingly stepped into this mudhole of life and death here in Vietnam. We should not honor any war but honor the young and older men and women that participated in it, willingly or not. As a born-again Assembly of God Christian young man, it was hard for me to fulfill my military obligations at times.

Render to Caesar that are Caesar's and to God the things that are God's. (Matthew 22:21 [KJV])

Let every person be in subjection to the governing authorities. (Romans 13:1 [KJV])

I did not save the war, nor did I contribute to its result, but I did go home with everything I took over there, except innocence.

My primary motivation to write this book was Richard Snook, with whom I grew up with, and we were very close. We were going to join the Army and go off to war together as young boys, as we were. He was eleven when he took his own life, and I was twelve. I never got over it and still cry about all that. I have never talked or written about my past life as a young person going to war, and now my present life is coming to an end. I should say something about that time when I was young and naive and went to war.

Refer to the song by Peter, Paul, and Mary: "Leaving on a Jet Plane" (1967).

Refer to the Australian song by John Schumann: "I Was Only 19" (2006).

As in all things past, throughout our lives, like wars, we should not relive them nor forget them, lest we repeat them.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 23, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098087906

Cory Jones

Cory Jones is an illustrator and graphic designer based in Nashville TN. His illustration credits include the first three books in the Their Side of the Story series and Seven Steps to Knowing and Doing the Will of God for Teens from Tom, Daniel and Mike Blackaby. Cory lives with his wife Sarah in Spring Hill, TN and is expecting his first son in November of 2013.

Book preview

In the Beginning

Who was I at the beginning of all this? I grew up in a very religious Assembly of God home. The Pentecostal religion, the holy rollers, as it was known in those days. We, my family, went to church every time the doors were open. Camp meetings, tent meetings, and crusades in other towns—we never missed an opportunity to go to religious activities. No drinking, no cussing, pretty much no was the answer to anything other than what the church approved of, and that was not much.

My young life was guided by two church mandates, the Ten Commandments and the Eight Beatitudes of Jesus, and they were set to memory and enforced.

Ten Commandments (Exod. 20:2–7)

You shall have no other gods before me.

You shall not make idols.

You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain.

Remember the Sabbath day to keep it holy.

Honor your father and your mother.

You shall not kill.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

You shall not covet.

Eight Beatitudes of Jesus (Gospel of Matthew 5:3–10)

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are pure of heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.

Blessed are they who are persecuted for the sake of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

I was born in 1947. It was a pleasant June day with flowing fields of yellow wildflowers, birds singing, and bunny rabbits jumping around. Well, it should have been anyway and could have been. Dad had come back from World War II some nine months earlier, looking for love and peace at home. I, of course, never knew my dad before he went to war, only some years after, and Mom never said anything about how he was before the war. Perhaps I never asked. I only knew him as a caring, quiet parent that stood up for what was right. Occasionally I would see him stand up for what was right and not back down. I never saw him fight, but I saw him at the ready several times, and they would back down. I have tried to follow that example of interpower and a calm model. The war within us those of us that have been in war should be tempered when we come back, for we are not at war anymore, except within ourselves.

Homelife was not always peaceful with four kids in a small two-bedroom home in town. But we all loved and put up with each other most of the time. I, being the youngest, well, I was somewhat coddled and favored by all. My needs and wants were met until I got older anyway. I got to hear, Get it yourself, do it yourself, you’re old enough to do that yourself, and of course, I am not your slave was a favorite comeback. I suppose I had worn out my position as the cute new baby boy. So with this loving encouragement to progress into being self-reliant and do it myself, I became more and more a can-do person. This change would be of great value in my struggle into adulthood and military life. The military was so much different. I knew nothing of life outside of the church. As a young teenager, I taught Sunday school to other young people and went witnessing to others of God’s grace and love. I was naive to a lot of things, as I look back on all that not my fundamental religious beliefs but some of the controlling factors of the church. The world and worldly things were not of great interest to me anyway, but playing cards, holding hands, dancing, and the like were not