An Enemy Within

By Stella B

Carmen wants a chance at love. When she meets June, she’s finally found the man of her dreams. June is all Carmen needs in her life in the romance department, the innocence of June loving with his heart. As time moves forward in their relationship, Carmen finds herself in a dilemma of love. A love that costs a deadly game for Carmen. A game she will have to survive from the evil hands of June.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jul 10, 2017
• ISBN: 9781640270923

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An Enemy Within

Stella B

Copyright © 2017 Stella B

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2017

ISBN 978-1-64027-091-6 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64027-092-3 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Love is something I’ve been searching for. A mate I can connect to. Not once have I asked for anything else other than to be loved. Love is a deadly sin from an evil humankind.

Chapter One

It’s a cool sunny Wednesday afternoon. The temperature is warm enough for a light jacket. The wind is blowing lightly into Ashley’s and my hair as we walk hand in hand toward the bus stop on Second Avenue. The sun is shining bright this afternoon. The air feels refreshing on our faces as we walk down the street.

Finally, we’re done in the doctor’s office. Everything is well with Ashley, thank God. The usual of taking care of Ashley’s health for her yearly physical. The hospital is only a jump away from our apartment on the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Being only twenty minutes or a half hour away makes it much easier in our travels. We can go home to eat instead of buying food outside to eat for Ashley. I can cook, because it is around dinnertime. No need to spend some cash when home is only a bus ride away. This is great, knowing home is close enough. I will just give Ashley a light snack until I make dinner.

Coming toward Second Avenue, I can hear a male voice whispering in my left ear. Loud enough for me to hear. Along the path is only my child and me. Behind us on the left side of me, a man speaks of how beautiful I am.

Thank you, I reply.

Married?

No.

Single?

Yes.

Suddenly the man appeared in my line of vision. A tall handsome male standing at six feet, a rich chocolate complexion, with a bald head and an amazing smile. The perfect eye candy in my view. Wow, the man is my cup of tea.

He is following Ashley and me across the street, in the direction of the south-bound M15.

Can I know your name?

Before I can utter a word, Ashley responds instead. My mommy name is Carmen. She bats her big brown eyes at him, a big smile on her face. Ashley’s look and voice surprises him. It melts his heart instantly.

He makes a chuckling sound and extends his hand to hers to shake it. I am June. Nice to meet you and your mother. One day I would love to take your mother out for lunch, if it’s cool with her. You have a beautiful mother, June tells Ashley. She just smiles at him, showing all her teeth as she stares me down, anticipating my response to June.

He turns his attention and focus on me again. Do you think a lunch date is due between the both of us? Can I have your cellular number? I promise I will call you on further arrangements on us meeting up for lunch. A drink, if you want? Your look is exotic, where are you from?

I am Latina, from the Isla de Puerto Rico.

Wow, you are beautiful, he says with a welcoming smile.

The bus is approaching soon. I grab Ashley’s hand as I start to get in line before it arrives. June follows us toward the end of the line for the bus. We talk for ten minutes before I notice the bus pulling up, cutting the conversation to a complete stop, as I start getting ready to board the bus. It was a short and simple conversation between June and me. It has been an interesting short time between us. Certain things were cool about June for the short time that we were speaking. June seems cool, and I wouldn’t mind knowing him better.

I brush June off because the bus is here. Never double-checked if June marked down my cellular number correctly. There is no way in hell I am missing this bus, especially for a guy I just met a few minutes ago. June doesn’t want to leave us. But a bitch needs to go home. June is punching in my number again as I swipe my MetroCard. Being in the doctor’s office for three hours has made Ashley and me hungry. We were running late, which left us with no chance of grabbing a slice of pizza. A little snack will not hold Ashley down once her stomach wants food. I am rushing home to make some dinner. I would have loved to stand and chat, but a bitch needs to leave, as I mentioned.

I must be bugging the fuck out in not taking more time in speaking to June. What the fuck am I thinking? My fucking ass pushed him aside to get home to cook. Hopefully, June is interested enough to remember details, such as my number. One thing’s wrong with this. I couldn’t see June’s eyes. June had a dark pair of sunglasses on. I couldn’t take a look into his eyes. The eyes are windows to the souls. I guess June had me on shutdown, because I couldn’t take a better look at the man’s face.

June sounded cool in the little time I talked to him before the bus came. June’s sense of humor is cute. I can definitely enjoy myself in his dish. I really would have liked to see June’s eyes as he was speaking to me. Fuck it, there will be a next time. If June had gotten my number right, we will be able to connect.

The next two days pass by, and I still haven’t heard anything from June. My dumb ass rushed to get on the bus. I didn’t even notice if June had gotten my number. This is what my ass gets for not checking things out before I vanished in traffic with my daughter on the bus. Within minutes of my thinking, my cellular rings.

Hello, Carmen, speaks June. A tingly feeling enters my body as I hear June’s voice. My nerves are shocked by this call. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut a moment longer. My heart is pounding out my fucking chest. I can’t believe my ears with this call. Yes, the sweet chocolate is on the other end of the phone line. Wow, it has been some time feeling like this. Why am I feeling this way? June isn’t the first man to have a conversation with me, but with June, I feel totally different. I am interested in him. June makes me comfortable talking with him.

I am excited on hearing his voice. Even knowing June has gotten my number correctly is making me already feel kind of special. I did brush him off for the bus. But damn, a bitch was hungry. But the dick wants the pussy, and June has gotten the number right. It has taken June time to call me. Fuck it, I won’t complain because I have June on the phone now.

Sorry, I wanted to call you right away, Carmen. It wouldn’t be cool on stressing you quick. I didn’t want to rush on calling you. Only wanted to give you a moment to remember me. Don’t want to be desperate on hearing your beautiful voice again. I really do like you, June says. What a smooth talker this guy is. I wanted to call you once we departed from each other. I wanted to see you at the same time. I didn’t want to be a pain in the ass. No thirst bucket here, I wanted to give you space. Even though I wanted to see you all the time. June continues talking sweet nothings into my ear.

The dummy I am laughs at all his words. Even the ones that don’t make any sense. I am literally being ditzy at the moment. This is fucking crazy. I am totally being a dumb girl. Not a smart one at certain points of the conversation. All giggling and shit as a fucking little kid with a new toy. All these great emotions I am feeling talking with June. I am starting to like the man more as June continues to speak knowledge of his life.

The conversation between June and me was simple. The basic questions asked to get a better understanding of the person. Age? I am a year older than June. Which is cool. I don’t have someone older than me this time. Who knows, maybe a connection? It is only a year difference, not years apart. As time moves forward, our conversation becomes more interesting. Could this be a game this fucker has going on? Our chemistry is going well with us. Both enjoy sports, just on different teams. I will always make fun of how the Heat is going to burn those sticks—I mean Knicks. June laughs at how confident I am with my team.

Finally, a woman who can enjoy watching a game with me. Just knowing we are in different teams will make a game more fun with you, Carmen, June says.

Talking for over an hour and a half felt as if we had just gotten on the phone with each other. The energy is positive. There isn’t any pressure of getting it all on the table. A storm of happiness comes upon me. A child at play, a bubbling feeling of excitement. Who would have thought? The sound of a man is making my knees weak. The tales of likes and dislikes among each other. It is June who is bringing all these feelings forward. It must have been the aura June had given me when we first met and now over the cellular.

So far, the respect is given. I tell June, if he wants my respect, he will have to respect me, for I can respect him.

It is good you feel this way, Carmen. I know that is a major part of any relationship. Respect is first, besides trust and honesty. I want to learn more about him as time goes by. The male attention coming from June feels great. Maybe I need this in my life besides being a parent. A box I want to open on a future relationship.

I tell June about my mother. My mother passed away when I was nineteen due to complications of her disease. She was HIV positive and lived life on the edge. Her love was unconditional for me. Her actions were different. The two are different in many ways. Regardless, I love her. It made me stronger because I’ve been fighting against life from childhood.

I can’t keep my illness to myself. How selfish it would be of me not to tell June. God has been great to me, and I have managed to maintain a stable lifestyle.

I’ve been living with multiple sclerosis for over a decade. I told June not for pity, just for understanding. I gave a brief definition of my illness. Some of the daily things I deal with. I refused to take any medication of mankind. It didn’t help me, just felt worst. I just stopped taking medicine for years. I was completely immoral in being ill. I am fighting to the best of my ability to maintain a healthy lifestyle for my MS. I gave my illness to Jesus Christ, and so far, I feel better and healed.

How can I judge a woman as yourself when I myself have a disability? June tells me. I have one missing eye.

Okay, I didn’t realize. Oh yeah, it’s because the guy had shades on, and I couldn’t notice a thing. I understand why June doesn’t want people looking because of what is going on in his face with one eye.

Living my life one day at a time, exercising and reducing the intake of daily stress. Staying clear of people problems. I will only be good to my daughters if I only take great care of myself. I work out five times a week for two hours each time. I release the stress and gain the energy I need to provide for my home. I eat the right food my body needs. Also, junk food always puts a smile on my face. But I worked hard on my body and mind in keeping it stable.

June is liking what he is hearing so far, impressed by the facts about my life, how natural I am with my words. Shit, again.

"I smoke weed when my energy is low. I don’t ask anyone to support my habit. I don’t want to get caught one day smoking or just finished smoking. Better for a motherfucker to know than walk in on me. Weed is my medicine, and I don’t fucking steal or beg to get it. I use it for the good, nothing about the bad.

I am a single mother of two beautiful daughters. They are ten years apart. I am a mother, father, friend, etc., to Ashley and Bella. There’s isn’t any time for a pity party for me. I handle my business at all times. Waiting for the next person to help is only getting in my way. I know the help is needed at times. But since my mom be gone, I take care of myself. Even as a child, I had to fend for myself. Having children hasn’t interrupted my plans or life. I learned to be strong since childhood, having to take care of my mom after a binge of getting high. I am extremely independent without looking or needing a hand from anyone. God and Jesus are the only two I will ask and thank for the help.

June mentions to me about his son from a love affair. "Once Tina found out she was pregnant, she moved to California with her husband. Tina’s husband raised my son and gave him his last name instead of mine. I don’t hate her at all. Tina needed to do what was right when it came down to the kid. The woman didn’t want to leave her husband. I understood, and I just didn’t fight for my son. I knew he was in great hands with her. I have no knowledge of him at all.

I also won a lawsuit against the City of New York. The reason I have one eye is because a cop kicked it out of its socket. I was arrested for swiping people on the train and getting money for the rides. I got caught, and this was the outcome of it. It is bad, because I miss having both eyes. But I am glad that I am alive with a lot of money to enjoy for the missing eye. I will have enough money in time, June says. It doesn’t bother him to tell me about the millions of dollars. I guess June figured the amount of money will buy anything and everything. The headaches will come with the money, June says. The fucker was glad on his cash.

I can see the grin on June’s face in my head. It is a great thing you won the money, June. All I want is the best for you. Doing what you do with it is your business. Just don’t spend money to spend it. Just be smart and invest for the future. June laughs at my words of enlightenment of his money situation. You’re going to be okay. There isn’t any hold bars in your life, I said.

Absolutely, June tells me. I can give you some of my fun I am going to do within time.

I am excited by the new boo on the other end of my cellular. My panties have gotten a bit wet on the anticipation of us having intercourse in our future. The words June uses to express himself, not judging or criticizing me in any fashion. No way am I passing on this relationship. The opportunity to love someone else other than my daughters. Let me put my motherfucking hands up in the air. Waving this fucking white flag to have this man.

Just before hanging up the phone, June tells me he is going to send me a picture of himself. This call has me sprung without even getting the dick. Can this be the beginning of something beautiful or a fatal one? The pounding of my heart is loud as I listen to every word June speaks to me, as it penetrates in my mind, June’s sweet words. I get the funny feeling of yes, bitch, dick is on the clock.

All I can do, Carmen, is provide all the right tools in making a beautiful and safe relationship between each other. Farewell, my love, and I will call you soon, June tells me in a sweet voice. OMG, I wonder what else is in store with us. So far, June has chosen to be honest on his kid and money situation. Cool, let’s see where we land in life.

Here goes the text I’ve been waiting for from June. What the fuck? This fucker sends me a picture of him and two other guys. That’s cool, let me look for the male with the missing eye. Hell no, bitch, all these three males have eyes. That’s a no. Who is the bigger dick now? I know—I am. Each of the men resemble each other in a way. There is only one male who is chubbier than the other two. The heights are the same. I am confused on the appearance of the guy on the cell with me for a long time. I couldn’t put the face in my vision at all. It was a mystery to me. This shit is fucking bananas trying to fucking figure out. Who the fuck is June? I should ask Ashley. But then to have her looking at me crazy, it is a fucking no. I will just deal with it until we see each other again. Thank God we are going to meet up soon for some lunch. The man has a good sense of humor, great vibes, the image will come together. I know June was cute. How cute? I can’t remember. My mind is playing tricks on me on his looks. No biggie.

Jennifer is over at my apartment as I take the call with June. It was a long time we were on the phone. It didn’t bother Jennifer one bit that I was talking to June. I still managed to squeeze her in in certain times of my conversation. We were just chilling out. She watched some television, also played some games on her cell at the same time.

It feels great telling another female of the freaking amazing call I received. What a dumb bitch I am and fell in the mercy of a male. Shit, being single has taken its toll. The biggest joy she got was when I told Jennifer how I was looking for the guy with the missing eye, how stupid I felt. Thank goodness nobody was around the moment I received the text from June.

Jennifer speaks of how happy she is for me getting the male attention I need for a while. Jennifer wants me to be careful and take my time. Don’t rush it and pay close attention. Because some people change in time, Jennifer says.

Girl, trust me, this is a walk in the park with June. I am going to take in everything and watch the actions June does. I won’t let a damaged man in my life, I say to Jennifer. This will determine our future as life unfolds with June and me. I will be smart with the new romance. Deep in my heart, I want this new love from June. I need someone in my life besides my daughters. I worry a little too much on certain shit. When speaking to June, I felt relaxed, not worrying about anything.

Chapter Two

I have a new agenda in my life with June. Last night’s call is still playing in my mind. Gosh, knowing I have a chance at love. I know it is soon, and I really wasn’t paying any attention to my needs of wanting a man in my life. After chatting with June last night, it changed my mind completely. The opportunity is here, and I am going to grab it. I am not ugly; I just don’t have time, when I am a single parent running around handling mother duties. But June has me on my heels, wanting more of him.

I’ve been working out in the gym this morning. Getting my body active and also in good shape. This illness has its ups and downs. My body has to be ready when it gets a little rough. It’s part