Maggie

By Jean Hudson

Maggie's story began at an early age in the mid-1950s to 1960s. She grew up in a hostile environment, where instead of being protected by her parents, she needed protection from them! Physical and mental abuse were almost a daily occurrence. Tormented constantly by her sister, Mary, her brother, Mike, was the only light in her life. Things did not improve as Maggie reached her teenage years; if anything, they worsened! Lack of love from her parents sent Maggie in pursuit of affection elsewhere. With no parental support or guidance, Maggie experienced her first sexual encounter at the tender age of fourteen. Depression and anxiety haunted Maggie. Marrying at an early age only served to worsen her mental state. After the birth of her daughter, Charlene, Maggie soon realized that even a new baby was not going to hold her marriage together. Maggie was seduced by a much older man, who convinced her to leave her husband, Tony, and move in with him. For the first time in her life, Maggie felt truly loved and protected, only to discover after a few short weeks of living with Hal that he had lied to her about his own marital state. Desperate to protect Charlene, Maggie had no choice but to move back to the house, which Tony had listed for sale. Once it was sold, they would go their separate ways. One day, Maggie hoped to find peace in her life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 4, 2019
• ISBN: 9781644244401

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Maggie

Jean Hudson

Copyright © 2019 Jean Hudson

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2019

Maggie is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

ISBN 978-1-64424-439-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64424-440-1 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

‘For friends and loved ones past and present.’

Acknowledgements

Many thanks to Page Publishing and all who were involved in the production of this book. I had no idea how much work it takes to get a book through the various stages to finally reach the shelves! I thank each and every department involved in the process. Special Thanks to Don Wilson, who initially called me with the exciting news that my novel had been accepted for publication: and to my very patient, personal Publishing Coordinator, Marta Greca, who has guided me through each step of the process.

Chapter 1

Maggie Clyne sat brooding behind the shed at the bottom of the garden. It seemed to be the only place where she could go to be alone and escape from the rest of the family. She especially liked it when her mother was calling her and she could ignore her, and know that she could not be seen.

Today, however, Maggie was feeling very hurt. Her mother’s cutting remark kept repeating itself in her brain, and she was dwelling on it more than she usually did, about the injustices dished out to her by her parents. After all, why couldn’t her sister Mary have helped her mother to plant the wretched daffodil bulbs? No. It was always Maggie do this, and Maggie do that. While precious Mary sat around with that hateful sneer on her face.

One day I’ll get even with her, thought Maggie.

God, it was awful to have a sister who was so hateful. What on earth could her parents think was so special about her? All she did was loaf around and whine to get her own way, especially to get out of doing her share of chores.

Maggie thought back to when the puppies were small, and she was the one who had to go and feed them at nights. As soon as she opened the door of the shed and shone the flashlight inside, she could see the rats running up and down the sides of the cages where the puppies were. It was incredible how they seemed to be able to make their bodies go flat and squeeze through the smallest of gaps. Maggie knew that she had to go in and open the cages and put her hands inside in order to put the food and water in. She leaned against the door frame shuddering, until the tears rolled down her cheeks. She wondered how long it would take for her to build up her courage and go inside.

She had better not take too long. Once when she had been gone from the house for nearly an hour, her mother had screamed at her when she went back inside.

Bloody kids, she had yelled. Don’t you think I’ve had you under my feet for long enough today? You should have been in bed half an hour ago.

The only consolation from that was that her mother had said kids, so Maggie felt a bit better knowing that at least her mother meant Mary also.

She slowly plucked up the courage to step right inside of the shed. The tears were rolling down her cheeks. Suddenly she froze. As she had put her hand inside of the paper sack to reach for the feed scoop, something furry touched her skin. Then it ran up her arm and jumped out, missing her face by inches. Maggie tried to scream, but nothing came out.

Just before she fell to the ground in a crumpled faint, she thought she heard a voice at the door. But then everything was darkness. Her brother, Mike, gently picked her up from the floor of the shed and carried her outside. Mike knew how much courage it took for Maggie to do this nightly chore. When she opened her eyes and saw Mike’s face, she threw her arms around his neck and clung to him.

Maggie’s brother, Mike, seemed to be the only good thing in her life at the moment. He was five years older than Maggie, and at thirteen, he was a well-built strong lad, boyishly handsome, with a mop of blond curls, and eyes as blue as forget-me-nots, just like his grandfather’s.

Mike had always gotten on well with Maggie. She wasn’t like his other sister Mary, who could never wait to run to his mother and stepfather to tell tales on him. He remembered when they had all lived at the cottage on his grandfather’s farm. They had to walk to school. It was a little more than a mile, but it felt more like five to Mike. His older sister, Annie, and he, were the first to start school. Then, of course, the day came when Mary had to start.

She sniveled at her mother’s side all the way. Little Maggie, who was then only three and a half, had trotted along behind them all. More often than not, she had got left well behind, then Mike would go back for her and put her on his back to catch up with the others. Finally they reached the school gates. Annie ran on into the schoolyard to play with her friends. Mary was bawling loudly by then and clinging to her mother’s skirt.

Maggie asked her why she was crying. When Mary sobbed that it was because she did not want to go to school, Maggie laughed and said that she would go instead.

Mary stuck her tongue out and shoved Maggie. Mike grabbed Mary’s hand and dragged her into the schoolyard. Their mother took Maggie’s hand and walked away so quickly that Maggie was half running and half being dragged along, as if she was a rag doll.

By the time that Maggie started school, Annie had gone on to high school. That left Mike in charge of the dinner money. Every Monday, his mother gave him the money to hand in at school for a hot lunch for the three children for a week. Some kids went home for lunch, and some took a packed lunch. So the teacher was not suspicious if some weeks a certain kid did not hand in his or her lunch money. It usually was an indication that the family probably could not afford it that week and had given the kid a packed lunch.

Mike was friendly with some boys a couple of years older than himself. They had introduced him to smoking. They suggested that he give them the money on Mondays, so that they could use it to buy cigarettes. Mike did this, and at lunchtimes, he got Mary and Maggie, and together they went to the other boys’ homes, where they ate cakes and cookies and smoked cigarettes. After school, they all went into a field behind the school house and smoked. Mary always insisted on having her own whole cigarette and would invariably blow instead of suck, and would then proceed to cough and splutter. Maggie was quite patient and gladly accepted what was offered to her, which was always just the stub, which the boys had already put out. Maggie was oblivious to that fact and puffed away quite happily.

One day, the teacher asked Maggie why she didn’t have school meals anymore. Maggie said that she didn’t know and began to cry when the teacher grew more persistent.

That night, when Maggie lay in the double bed which she had to share with Mary and Annie, she heard her father climb the stairs and go into Mike’s room. She then heard her father tell Mike to get out of bed. Then he called Maggie.

She froze momentarily. The tone of his voice sent quivers of fear through her body. Also she was expecting him to call Mary. But he didn’t. He growled again at Maggie to get out of bed. As she did so, she looked at Mary. There was a kind of knowing sneer across her face.

She went slowly to the doorway of Mike’s room, where her father told her that she was to watch and listen, because she had been no little angel just lately, and that what he was going to do to Mike, he was also going to do to her.

He had found out about their smoking escapades. Maggie’s heart thumped wildly in her small frame. She knew that Mike was going to get a beating, and she too. Frantically, she tried to think of a way in which she could save them both. She heard herself blurting out to her father that Mary had been smoking too. Somehow she thought that this might save them from the beating, as she didn’t think that her father would want to beat Mary. She had noticed how her parents paid a good deal more attention to Mary than to any of the others. She couldn’t believe her ears when she heard her father’s words.

Oh, but Mary’s been a good little girl. She owned up to it.

Maggie saw the look on Mike’s face. And as their eyes met, she knew that there was going to be no escape from their punishment.

As Mike screamed, she turned her head away. She could not understand why her father disliked Mike so much anyway. He was not very fond of Annie either.

Her father saw her turn her head away and shouted at her to watch. Because she was next. She stood trembling as she watched him beating Mike with strong repetitive blows. Her lips were quivering with fear as she knew that shortly, she too would be on the receiving end of those vicious blows.

As Maggie lay in bed after her terrible ordeal, her backside felt like it was on fire. She gingerly ran her small fingers over her throbbing behind, feeling the ridges that her father’s fingers had made on her flesh. Silent tears coursed down her face as she buried her head in the pillow. Mike could be heard sobbing from the next room. Mary giggled and taunted Maggie about her beating, only giving up when she finally realized that Maggie could not be goaded into any response.

It was a sad day when they moved away from the cottage on their grandfather’s farm. They had some good times when they had gone to the old farmhouse and spent some time with their grandparents. Now they lived at their new house and went to a new school, where the kids didn’t seem to want to be friendly. They just teased them and called them names.

Mike told Maggie that from now on, he would try and leave his homework and sneak out of the house shortly after her, and that he would feed the puppies. They both went back to the house and were thankful to find that no one was in the kitchen as they let themselves in. Mike went back to his room to finish his homework.

Annie had just caught the bus to return to work after her weekend off. She was nearly sixteen now and had gotten a job living in with a well-to-do family. She was supposed to help their nanny with the two children.

On the nanny’s day off, Annie was in sole charge of the children.

Maggie got on well with Annie. Though not as well as she did with Mike. Annie was good and kind and told her stories when the three girls lay in bed at nights. However, since Annie had been working, she had changed.

She became very bossy sometimes when she was at home at the weekends. Maggie would complain to Annie sometimes about her bossiness, and Annie would say that was how Nanny treated the children at work. Maggie wondered what this nanny woman was like and was thankful that they didn’t have one.

One day, when Annie was home, there was a great deal of excitement. Annie was talking to her mother and stepfather. And for once he seemed to be very pleased with Annie. Later on, Maggie learned the reason why. Apparently, the man who was Annie’s employer had invited Annie and the whole family to their house one night for a fireworks party. And then to have supper afterward. Maggie’s father was particularly pleased. He felt quite important about it all. He called everyone together and proceeded to lecture them all on how to behave and what the correct table manners should be. Annie said that they would be having soup for sure to start with, because her employers always did. Their father then demonstrated as to how to drink soup correctly from a soup spoon, without dripping any, or making any slurping sounds. He warned them all of their fate if any of them let him down.

Mike was crying one day at the bus stop when Maggie and Mary walked by to wait for their own school bus.

Maggie asked Mike why he was crying. It was because he still had to wear short trousers to school. And at thirteen years old, all the other boys were laughing at him and teasing him. He said that his mother had told him that she could not afford to buy him any new long trousers right now, as she had to buy Mary a new dress for the fireworks party. Maggie looked at Mary and caught a glimpse of that familiar hateful sneer. She knew that she had no new dress for the party, but she didn’t really mind anyway. She didn’t even like dresses.

She did wish that poor Mike could wear long trousers though.

At last, the day of the party came. Maggie’s parents seemed very excited. She heard them telling Mary that she was to play nicely with the two children at the big house. When it was time to go, everyone climbed into the old Ford, and they drove in silence to the party. Maggie’s father never permitted any chatting or giggling when they were in the car.

They arrived, and Annie ran out of the house to greet them. She looked different in her uniform, which she had to wear. And of course, she was in a very bossy mood toward Mike, Mary, and Maggie.

They all went into the house, which seemed enormous to Maggie. They met Mr. and Mrs. Price and their two daughters. Maggie whispered to Annie and asked where the dreaded nanny was. Annie shushed her up quickly and said that it was Nanny’s day off, and that she would not be back until late evening. Maggie was quite thankful, thinking that it would be bad enough with her father watching their every move, plus Annie bossing them around.

Mr. Price was a very jovial man with a huge mustache, which seemed to stretch almost from ear to ear. He often twitched it when he was talking to Maggie’s father. Mrs. Price was short with dark hair. She was rather timid and followed Mr. Price around and just smiled at everyone. She had a kindly look about her. Maggie didn’t think it was possible that Mrs. Price could scream and yell like her mother could.

The two children looked as though their faces had been painted with shiny pink paint. They were very naughty and gave Annie a real runaround. Maggie couldn’t understand why Mr. and Mrs. Price didn’t correct them.

She knew that she would never get away with such bad behavior in front of her parents. She wondered why Annie raved on so much about them, as if they were so special. They seemed like rude little monsters to Maggie. And they kept sticking out their tongues at her. She would have liked to do it back to them or to slyly kick them, but she knew full well what would happen to her if her father saw her doing it.

Maggie was getting rather bored with just standing around while her parents spoke with the Prices. She could see that Mike was bored too. Mary seemed to be quite happy playing around with the Price children. Maggie wished that the fireworks would soon start.

Finally, Mr. Price suggested that they all go outside into the garden. He lit the fireworks, which were fixed onto the fence. Maggie couldn’t believe her eyes when they lit up and exploded. She had never seen anything so beautiful in her entire life. Several fireworks went off at a time. They made up shapes of ladies with huge plumed hats, and flowers, and many more incredible things. It was really something special to Maggie, as all she had seen in the way of fireworks until now were sparklers and rockets and a few other funny ones, which usually got damp and smoked and smoldered and went out. Mike was enjoying the display too, but he said to Maggie that he would be glad when supper was ready, as he was starving.

Eventually the fireworks ended, and everyone went back inside the house. When they were all seated at the supper table, Maggie picked up her soup spoon, but then Mr. Price started to say grace. Maggie looked at her father, who glowered at her. She put the spoon down and stared at her hands in her lap. Mr. Price said Amen, and everyone started with their soup.

No one spoke. The only sound to be heard was a very loud slurping noise. Maggie was too afraid to stare around the table. She was afraid that it might be Mike, and if it was, then she knew what would happen to him when they got home. Secretly, she hoped that it was Mary. It would be amusing to see what punishment would be meted out to goody little Mary.

They drove home in silence. Annie was with them, as it was Friday night, and she had the weekend off. Mike whispered to Maggie to ask if it was her who had made the slurping noise. She told him that it was not her. He looked relieved. When they were inside the house, Don Clyne called them all together.

He looked very angry as he asked, Okay, which one of you was it? No one answered him. He repeated his question. Then he asked Annie if she knew who the culprit was. She told him that it was Mr. Price.

He always slurps his soup, she said. Maggie suppressed a convulsive urge to giggle. She could just picture her father reprimanding Mr. Price on his table manners. Her father’s jaw was tense and kept twitching, Get to bed. All of you, he said.

Mike said to Maggie that it was worse than slave labor digging out the driveway. Maggie agreed. Their father and his brother stood by the huge mechanical digger drinking beer, while Mike and Maggie had to shovel the loosened earth that the digger could not pick up. They could not see what was wrong with the old driveway anyway.

The garage was right alongside of the house, which seemed to be the perfect place for it. Now their father wanted to tear it down and extend the driveway to the end of the property line and build a new garage there. It seemed daft to Mike and Maggie. Then when you got out of the car, you would have to walk a long way back to the house. Both of them secretly thought that Don Clyne had lost some of his senses.

Before the old garage had been pulled down, Mike and Maggie had decided to collect a pet each. They knew that the garage was full of mice. And they had heard the kids at school talking about their pet mice. So they decided that they would have one each of their own.

They found a large paper sack, and Maggie positioned herself at one end of the garage by a pile of rubbish, where Mike assured her that there were bound to be a few mice. She held the open end of the bag to the rubbish pile. Mike banged on the rubbish with a long piece of wood. Soon they could hear scampering sounds inside of the sack. Maggie had her eyes closed. Did she really want a pet mouse, she wondered. She supposed so if Mike said she did. After all, mice weren’t the same as rats!

Mike yelled at her to close the top of the bag. She did so and gripped it as tightly as she could with her fingers. The two of them stood over the bag, their noses practically touching it.

Okay, said Mike. Let’s take a look. Maggie had expected there to be just a few mice and for them to be sitting at the bottom of the sack.

As she cautiously let go her grip on the neck of the sack, mice leaped out at their faces like an explosion. Maggie screamed and screamed, dropping the sack on the ground. Mike rolled around the floor laughing. Soon Maggie’s screams turned to laughter, and the two of them continued to laugh about it until they were called by their mother.

Maggie was looking forward to the weekend. At last, she had made a good friend at school. It was especially nice because her friend had a pony of her very own, and she had told Maggie that she would ride on it to Maggie’s house at the weekend and let Maggie have a ride on it. Maggie had said nothing to her parents about this. They slept in late on Sundays anyway, so they wouldn’t even have to know about it. That way, she thought, they couldn’t say no and spoil her treat.

Sunday morning came at last. But her friend arrived earlier than Maggie had expected. She was not even out of bed herself. She could hear the clip clop of the pony’s hooves on the driveway. Then her friend started calling her name loudly.

Maggie rushed to drag her clothes on, hoping to get outside before her friend wakened her parents. Sadly, she could not get ready fast enough. She could hear her mother shouting to her friend from her bedroom window, telling her that Maggie could not play today. Maggie heard the noise of the pony’s hooves fade away as her friend left. Maggie felt quite wretched as she sadly finished dressing.

It was the same when Mary’s class went on the school trip. Oh, yes. Of course Mary could go. Then when Maggie’s class had their trip, her parents said that they couldn’t afford it. Annie had been home at the time. She knew how hurt Maggie felt. She gave Maggie the money, right in front of her parents. For once they were speechless. Maggie knew that they felt ashamed of themselves.

Mary had started high school now, so at least her taunting was limited to weekends and after school. She could no longer taunt Maggie in front of her friends in the schoolyard. One of her worse treatments toward Maggie was to lie in bed at night and pinch Maggie for no reason. Also, she would drive her bony elbow into the small of Maggie’s back. Maggie would lie there taking it for as long as she could. Then she would retaliate. Their mother would hear them fighting and rush into the bedroom screaming at them to stop. Both would get a good hard slap from their mother.

One day, Maggie approached her mother when she was alone and seemingly in a good frame of mind. She told her about the spiteful things that Mary was doing to her and for no reason. Her mother told her that the next time it happened, she was not to fight with Mary, but was to call her mother.

The next night, Mary started her usual sly tactics. Maggie yelled for her mother. Mary looked surprised. Her mother came into the room and gave Mary a few hard slaps.

For once it was Maggie’s turn to smirk, or so she thought.

There, said her mother. That’s for keeping on picking fights with Maggie. Then whack, right across Maggie’s smug face. And that, my girl, is for letting her get the better of you. Maggie was dumbfounded. She went to sleep that night thinking that there was no justice. She would dearly love to smother her sister.

By now, Mike had finished school and was taking an apprenticeship in carpentry. He had to cycle to work, which was about ten miles away. So he left early in the mornings and did not return home until shortly before Maggie went to bed. Maggie missed his company, as he chose to spend his weekends at his friend’s house.

One day, a letter arrived for Helen Clyne. Maggie overheard her parents discussing the contents of the letter. She wondered what it all meant. Would there be any great changes in their lives? She was soon to find out.

One thing was for sure. Her father had decided that she and Mary were going to change schools. He was going to send them both to a convent. There you will grow up to become young ladies, he said. Maggie and Mary asked their parents numerous questions about nuns. Neither of the girls had ever spoken to a nun before. By the end of the day, Maggie had her own impression of a nun firmly printed in her mind. Nuns were little short of being angels, she had decided. They were very kind and loved everyone, especially children. They never shouted or said unkind things. It was the next best thing to being in heaven to go to a convent, she decided.

The death of her great uncle, and the bequeathing of the money to her mother, promised better things in Maggie’s life. Or so she thought.

Chapter 2

The day came for their mother to drive both of the girls to the convent. They felt rather strange in their new uniforms. Maggie thought that only boys wore ties.

And as for those dreadful hats, they reminded her of upturned chamber pots sitting on their heads. Still, she felt less conspicuous about it when she saw all of the other girls wearing them.

There were boys there also. But only little ones.

Her mother told her that boys could only attend until they were eight years old. Maggie thought that was strange but decided to ask why at a later date.

Right now she wanted to take in her new surroundings.

It was a very long driveway. There were tall trees—poplars, she thought—lining each side of the driveway, with wide grass verges on either side smothered in daffodils. Maggie wondered if God had made it all extra beautiful for his nuns to live there. One of the girls at Mary’s old school had told Mary that every nun was married to Jesus Christ, and that they were all virgins and had to stay that way always. Neither Mary nor Maggie knew what being a virgin meant. But it sounded pretty serious to them. Another thing that troubled Maggie was that she thought that a man could only have one wife. She had heard about strange-sounding men in different countries who also had lots of wives. So she thought that maybe Jesus had come from one of those countries and that it was okay.

They pulled up in front of the huge oak-studded door. Helen Clyne rang the bell. They waited a minute, then she rang again. A fat woman with very red cheeks opened the door and ushered them inside.

She’s no nun, thought Maggie.

It was gloomy inside of the lobby, then it opened up into a very large room. But it was bare and cold-looking. There was no furniture, just a fixed wooden seat around the window. All the windows were diamond-shaped. Maggie later learned that they were called leaded. There was a piano against one wall. And four pillars that reached right up to the ceiling. They were told to wait there by the woman. She said that Mother Superior would be with them shortly. Maggie hadn’t heard about any Mother Superior. She questioned her own mother about it. Mary butted in and called her stupid, saying that she knew all about it.

Several nuns walked by. None of them looked at the Clyne family. And none of them looked very happy either. Maggie wondered what was wrong with them. She expected every nun to have a huge beaming smile on her face. Instead they looked rather glum.

After what seemed like hours, Mother Superior came along and greeted them. She was all smiles, but Maggie did not think that they were genuine smiles. They were like the smiles that her mother wore on her face when she spoke to people she didn’t like but said that she had to be polite to them. Maggie wondered why people couldn’t just say what they had to and forget about smiling if they really didn’t mean it.

Another nun appeared. She had no smile on her face.

She was told by Mother Superior to take Mary to the senior section of the school. Maggie was to stay in the junior side for one more year. She was thankful that they were separated.

Maggie was taken by yet another unsmiling nun to her classroom, while Helen Clyne went into a small room, which Maggie later learned to be the office, with Mother Superior, who was still smiling profusely.

The first day was much kinder to Maggie than it had been at her previous school. During recess, several of the girls talked with her. She thought that she was going to enjoy life at the convent.

The first year at the convent passed quite quickly for Maggie. She made several friends. And she also made the discovery that she had never been christened.

Several of the girls went to a class that they called Catechism. Maggie didn’t have a clue what that meant.

The other girls said that it was because they were Catholics and asked Maggie if she was one also. She told them that she didn’t know, but if they were, then she probably was too. So she joined the line-up for the class.

The nun who was to take the class walked by. She saw Maggie standing in line and realized that she was a new face.

Which church do you attend? she asked Maggie.

I’ve never been to church, replied Maggie.

Are you a Catholic? asked the nun.

I suppose I must be, said Maggie, not having a clue what the conversation was really all about.

The nun sniffed haughtily and said that she had her doubts. And that before she would allow Maggie to join that particular class, she had better find out what she had been baptized as.

After school, Maggie talked about it to her mother.

Only to find that she had never been baptized. Also she was not a Catholic. Somehow this realization left Maggie with a slightly unclean feeling about herself. She asked her mother whether Mike, Annie, and Mary had been christened. Her mother told her that they had all been done when they were babies.

But why not me? asked Maggie, feeling even worse about herself by the minute.

Your father was away in the army when you were born. He was stationed overseas. You were two years old before he ever saw you. So I guess it got kind of overlooked, said her mother.

I want to be christened now, said Maggie. And I’ll choose my own godparents, if that’s okay. Her mother looked rather agitated. She had a stack of clothes to iron, and she had argued with