Keep Them from Evil

By Ann Kulchycki

It is not a common suggestion in our world today to use the phrase “keep them from evil.” My thoughts involve those who may find the ideas within this book to be useful and possibly helpful with a current or past or even a future catastrophe involving a certain relationship. The idea of the past, whether it be a positive or negative experience, can become a joyful experience as we focus on some verses in the Bible that manifest this joy into our lives. The past mistakes or even past accomplishments can be remembered to bring a better outcome of future results.

The current situation that a person may have, be it a negative or positive one, with a particular person, such as a boyfriend or parent, can also be compared to situations within this book.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Oct 13, 2021
• ISBN: 9781638747574

Book preview

Chapter 1

Who Cares?

The thought is peculiar and possibly universal—the idea that everyone wants to obtain a perfect, peaceful, and livable homelife while most people only act like they have this. In some instances, it is the very issue that can cause a young child to begin to look at people, places, and things as cold or confusing. In such cases, the child could become disconnected from peers, parents, siblings, teachers, and the general public.

From the earliest days of my youth, I can remember my mother going to an outing to play bingo. My stepfather did not mind at first, but eventually he would argue with her about it. On these particular nights, he began to have other plans for us after she left. He would play hide-and-seek or he would hide a coin, then while my two sisters and I would look for the coin, he would prepare himself for the sexual assault, such as holding his robe over one of our heads. Of course, he would tell us that he would hurt us if we said anything to anyone about his behavior.

Mother finally came home, and by that time, we were sleeping, though sometimes we would wake up to them arguing. Walter, my stepdad, would make my mother, Catherine, feel miserable because she went out to socialize and play bingo. My stepdad would become her inner wound of verbal, mental, physical, and financial abuse and also, let us not forget to mention, neglect.

Mom’s first marriage consisted of alcohol and arguments also. Obviously, because she was only sixteen years old, the immaturity level of both of them caused their marriage to be brief.

Her second husband, who was also my biological father, chose to party with his girlfriends while married to my mother. Mom was also expecting a second child with my biological father, and that child would be me. Though they both became divorced after the first child together, he still came to my mother’s house.

When my mother became pregnant with the second child, he was extremely upset because of the divorce and such like matters that he beat her up so violently that she was taken to the hospital. The story is told that one day my father woke up and simply drove his motorcycle to Florida and never returned.

This ordeal led to my mother’s third husband, who would be Walter.

One morning, my mother was cooking breakfast for Walter and I was watching her cook. I was very young and must have been in her way of things. So she told me to go lie down by Walter until she was finished. Walter liked to have his breakfast in bed. I can still feel the insecure instincts that came over my being.

Mom is a classic example of denial. Even until this day, she still convinces herself that certain instances did not happen. There are times when the other parent truly is not aware of any such incidents.

Though my mother denied some things to herself, sometimes she will admit certain incidents did happen. She will not voluntarily speak about any of the negative memories. Those memories must be very painful for her to talk about.

There were some nights when I was allowed to stay awake later than my two older siblings because I was not of school age yet. This was when I received my snack when Walter would bring me a beer in a shot glass and a piece of cheese. Sometimes I would go fetch his beer out of the refrigerator.

He had a film projector in those days with a big screen that was pulled down by a manual handle. Then he would proceed to watch his disgusting videos as some were animated but were of adult nature, such as porn. My mother did not approve of any of his behavior, but he was now becoming a dictator type of personality toward her.

I suppose the emotional damages that occurred were like deep wounds inside my emotional well-being. If emotional stress develops from living in an abusive home, it can show itself with numerous negative personality dysfunctions in the child. As the child grows within this environment, the child will form his or her emotional status of well-being also.

Children are naturally great pretenders; therefore, the abused child learns how to handle or deal with the abusive homelife in which he or she must live in. (At least in the child’s own mind, this is how the child copes with it all.)

The negative personality results may vary depending on the individual, from moderate to severe dysfunctions, even to their adulthood. The result for the child (once an adult) could be the inward struggle to be able to function as a grown adult. This particular person might unintentionally even think his or her homelife was normal and carry it with him into his own children’s homelife. It is a learned behavior from his own dysfunctional childhood. The person may also become an abuser or a victim of abuse throughout his or her entire life. The abused adult experienced abuse as a child, so the person may not be able to distinguish what is happening to him or her.

Rational thinking may take place in his mind, for example, It is not abuse because the partner hit me once and it did not hurt. Another rationalization may be admitting to yourself that your partner is very abusive but you intend on fixing the situation or helping the abuser. It is a very dangerous situation when this type of rationalization occurs because the abuser has a deep problem that is not being confronted in a proper way. The abuser continues to waddle in that condition while the victim keeps on trying to make the situation better, all the while the condition and situation only becomes worse. It is like a snowball effect; the problem will only get bigger. The outcome eventually manifests itself as a catastrophe that is inevitable.

This type of situation may take months or even years, but you can bet your last dollar that some sort of catastrophe will happen.

Another point of abuse manifesting itself is the fact that my own outlook on the male sex in general was very negative and fearful. I had to struggle within myself, which was especially true when I really noticed myself. Something as simple as walking past a male figure was a dreadful ordeal to me. The only good thing that I can possibly say about that is when at the approximate age of thirteen on one occasion as I walked home from school, a man was in his car parked at a grocery store parking lot. He then yelled through his car window at me, and he said, Hey, I need help closing my luggage. I can’t get it shut. Can you come help me? Well, my fear and instincts triggered in my mind, and I yelled, No! and kept walking. I can still see his facial expression in my mind. It was a very angry glare. Ironically, who knows, maybe the unhealthy fear kept me from an abduction.

The other factor as a small child is that I learned to like the taste of beer. So we can assume the consequences of that since the alcohol abuse was present at a young age.

I can remember when my mother’s parents (my grandparents) came to visit us. It was a delightful experience. Grandpa always liked to fish, so the lake was beckoning him. We all went fishing and did enjoy ourselves. The emptiness I felt once they left for home would always linger within me. They lived about three hours away from us if driving in a car. While they were visiting, our environment was so different because we enjoyed a pleasant atmosphere. Our stepdad would be on his best behavior because he would hide his true self until after they left.

Weeks later after our grandparents were gone, Walter decided to go fishing on a boat, and he only took my middle sister, Lynn, with him. Lynn was approximately eight years old. This day would prove to be a lifetime tragedy in my sister Lynn’s life and for all of us. Walter made Lynn perform an unspeakable act physically with him while on the boat. This secret would not be revealed to anyone right away.

As time progressed, my mother found another outlet for herself besides bingo. She became involved with the Catholic school functions. She endured many violent beatings and arguments from Walter because he paid for the Catholic school tuition, so my mother endured this chaotic abuse. Once I was old enough to attend the first grade, my stress dominated me, and the result of living in this environment only worsened. Every morning I would cry and was totally disconnected with the classmates and the nun, who was my teacher. I would become very upset at school, especially when the nun would try to make me eat my lunch. I remember going to the restroom and vomiting the lunch into the toilet, then the nuns would come in and yell, which only made the situation worse. (I must admit that their curriculum proved to be successful.) Interestingly enough, nobody ever tried to talk to me or try to get to the heart of the matter. I then learned to bottle up my feelings and to keep it all to myself. The confusion and the stress, fear