A Christian Behind Bars: The Enemy Within: Casualty of Sin

By Charles Jenkins

It's about how going to prison helped change this man's life.

Preacher or layman, things you need to know in the Bible.

Things for the young men or women in God to preach on.

Uplifting verses to reflect on with your church.

Find out how some great men of God died.

Great men of God that made mistakes. Always remember you're not alone.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jun 3, 2022
• ISBN: 9798885404860

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A Christian Behind Bars

The Enemy Within: Casualty of Sin

Charles Jenkins

ISBN 979-8-88540-478-5 (paperback)

ISBN 979-8-88540-486-0 (digital)

Copyright © 2022 by Charles Jenkins

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Prologue

1

About the Author

Prologue

This is a true story about my life while in prison. It's about what occurred since I moved from Milwaukee, Wisconsin, to Mississippi.

I know that I keep asking myself, Why? Then God reminds me of Paul and Silas's imprisonment and how many people were saved as a result (Acts 16:25–40).

Despite that, I still ask, Why? There has got to be more to this, Lord.

All these verses of the Scripture keep popping up in my head that when I was on the outside, I was going the wrong way and moving too fast. Then I remember James, speaking, The trying of your faith worketh patience (James 1:1–5).

So I hope you'll be patient with me while I tell you my story.

1

Iwas born in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, on March 28, 1958, to my father and mother, Prentis and Grace Jenkins. Growing up in the North was different than in the South, especially in the area of speech. I had to make some word adjustments like outside to outdoors . Both my parents were from the South. They moved up North in the late 1950s about the time I was born.

Many people will tell you about how their mother was always there for them, and their father was not ever around. In my case, it was the exact opposite.

As a child, I was no more different or worse than any other kid, but my family felt that I was bound for prison at birth. I started at the age of six when I stole a candy bar from the corner store. I felt bad about doing it, and I was afraid because I knew it was wrong. He that steals, let him steal no more (Ephesians 4:28).

At that time in my life, I was too young to really care, but now I know that God has never let me down. He will never let me forget.

I was a fat kid who got into fights and didn't win any. I was only ten years old, but already I was able to often lie my way out of anything. Some other kids and I decided that we would break into a house even though none of us really knew what we were looking for. We were bored, and it was something exciting to do.

I had a curfew. While my father was asleep, I'd climb out the back window, roll off the roof, and hit the ground so hard that it knocked the wind out of me.

I believe that God was telling me something even then. Children, obey your father and mother (Ephesians 6:1). But I didn't care. I felt that I didn't have a mother anyway.

After breaking into the house, we started breaking the things that were in it. We trashed that house.

Why? I couldn't say, but there was a feeling in me that the house was haunted, and that spooked me.

The owners had such nice things. We only have what my father could afford in our house.

The Bible says that there is an evil spirit called jealousy that was going to jump-start a halfway, mild-mannered kid into a man who cannot stop thinking about killing himself.

By the time I was thirteen, I'd started drinking beer and a wine called Mad Dog 20 20, which is exactly how you felt drinking it—like a mad dog. I'd watch my mother drink herself into a frenzy.

She would yell at my father and us for no good reason. She'd do this when she was drunk. That caused me to hate my mother because I didn't understand her problems. Little did I realize that those problems and challenges would become my own as I grew older.

My little sister and I would be playing outside, and if we see our mother, we would run from her.

We didn't want anyone to know that we were her kids. She became a bag lady, pushing a shopping cart piled high with dirty clothes and other trash. Telling you this now brings tears to my eyes.

Today, I wish I could tell her, Mom, I understand. I didn't then, but I do now.

Wine is a mocker and strong drink is raging (Proverbs 20:1). Was my mother ever saved? I don't know. In 1978, she took her own life with an overdose of a pill.

I never thought I would miss her as I do today. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning (Psalm 30:5). I had not cried for her. She was mentally ill, and so was I. Now I'm alone in this place full of people who care little for what happens to me. They care only for themselves and what they can get from me. The strong prey on the weak, and the weak prey on the mentally unstable. It's a vicious cycle. There are many movies I've seen about prison, and it didn't ever occur to me that I'd end up in one. These men, some of them, have committed unspeakable crimes. Everything went downhill for me after my mother died. I went from a hardheaded, little fat kid into a fully grown hardcore drug addict.

Drinking beer and wine just wasn't enough for me, and smoking weed didn't give me the way out that I was looking for either.

At the age of twenty in 1978 was the day I was really turned out, and yet I'd left home at the age of sixteen. I thought I was a man. I kept giving my father a hard time. I moved in with an older woman who showed me the dark side of life. I didn't know at that time that God still has His loving hands on me. He was still ruling over me and in control (Ezekiel 20:33). I have forgotten how I got started on what is called T's and Blues. They're a mix of yellow and blue pills that are crushed together and shot up through a vein. I won't tell you how. That's too much information.

By that time, I knew I was a lost cause. I had no hope in anything or anyone. All those drugs combined did nothing for me.

Cocaine and heroin combined together are quite deadly. You have to know how to mix them together, or it will stop your heart, killing you. I didn't care. I was prepared to die unsaved. I didn't know God, except how to take His name in vain. I remember sometimes getting so drunk that I'd ask God to help me sober up. Charles, turn from your wicked ways and repent (Jeremiah 15:6). Stop doing the same things over and over again. The hard drugs had me so far gone that Satan had me by the throat. I was walking the streets talking to myself. I'd hear all these voices calling out to me.

I remember asking these voices what they were trying to say. They didn't want me to eat or take a bath. I was gone.

My family didn't want me around. I was sick and bound for hell, and I didn't even care.

In January of 1981, at the age of twenty-three, I tried to kill myself by cutting my wrists deeply.

I didn't know at that time that God wasn't yet ready for me. It is appointed unto men once to die. Then after that, the judgement (Hebrews 9:27).

It just so happened this was one of the coldest nights on record in Milwaukee, about 2 degrees, with a wind chill factor of 15 degrees below zero.

The blood from the cuts on my wrist froze. I was so cold and high that it didn't matter to me anymore.

The police saw me walking down the street, put me in the back of the car, and took me to the emergency room, where I was kept for certain thirty days in an attempt to find out why I had attempted suicide.

I knew nothing about AA/NA. Listening to all those people lie about their addictions is all I knew at that time.

They didn't know what I was going through. How could they? I thought.

All I wanted to do was get high and die. When I was discharged from the hospital, they placed me in a halfway house. That was a joke, a futile effort, because just around the corner was all the ___ or whatever else a person wanted.

It was the summer of 1981. I recall this because it was my first sincere attempt to stay clean and sober. That seemed impossible. However, God says in His Word that nothing is impossible for Him (Matthew 19:26).

After I failed this attempt to stay clean, I was right back where I started. This time, though, I had no intention to sober up. I felt the only way out of this mess was to die.

About this time, I had a companion that followed me because I would feed him. It seemed he and I had a lot in common, being homeless and having lost everything we loved. He even looked like me a bit. There was something about that dog. I didn't give him a name. However, he followed me around for about six months without even letting me pet him. When I tried, he would growl like he wanted to bite my hand that was feeding him. I guess I was doing the same thing to God. If I'd understood God's Word I would've prayed, ‘O Lord, rebuke me not in thine anger' (Psalm 6:1–6).

By now, I'd been to AA, NA, and every other A ___ you can think of. I tried to get my family to help me, to no avail, and then I tried to become a Jehovah's Witness.

However, I was never happy until someone told me about Islam. With that, I learned about how the while man was the reason I had so many problems. The way they knew the Bible was what I thought I was looking for. Now I see that God was using them and others to lead me to the truth. Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirit whether they are of God (1 John 4:2).

Jokingly, I would listen to them preach about Jesus, and much of what they were saying was making sense to me. They didn't know that I felt this way, but it had come to a point for me I would go to the meetings just to hear what they would have to say about the Bible. I didn't know it, but my whole life was about to change for the worse before it got better. I was being called though I didn't know it then. No man can come to me except the Father draws him (John 6:44).

The minister spoke of Jesus, saying, He's chosen the twelve, knowing that one of them was the devil. That lost me because it seemed he was talking about me, and I couldn't handle any more problems. So back to the streets I went. I knew what to expect from people like me.

I was so strong out by now that I wouldn't even comb my hair. I didn't know what was living there. It was clear to me on my next ride to the ER that the doctor and nurse didn't want to get close to me. I realized I had crabs real bad. They didn't keep me for thirty days this time. It was about thirty minutes before they gave me the boot. They gave me a medicated shampoo, and when the doctor told me to use water with it, I didn't know if he was trying to be funny. I failed to see the humor of it, only my humiliation. I called my father, and he told me to come home. I didn't know he was so worried about me. Everyone held their peace when I arrived home though they couldn't believe how I looked and what I'd become. I was a (complete) mess. I felt like the God ___ that no man could tame (Mark 5:1–19). I must've looked at the part as well.

The bath water was black like oil when I got out of the tub, and the bottom wasn't visible even though it was a white tub. My father made me shave my head, which exposed many sores. I began to cry like a baby as I felt a chill come over me. For if any be a hearer of the Word and a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass (James 1:23). I thought, God, show me you exist and help me turn my life around. Nothing happened. I went back to what I was doing before on even a greater scale. The devil wanted me dead.

Like Job, God wouldn't have that. The Lord said unto Satan, Behold, all that he hath is in thy power; only, upon himself, put forth not thine hand (Job 1:12). I saw no way back as my life went downhill. I thank God I had a faithful father. Other than my God, there was no other man that moved me like Him. My father loved the Lord. I never saw him not on his knees at night praying for us all. He was short of stature but had a very big heart. He never left our side although he had to take care of us all. Men like him are in short supply in today's times.

He loved his church, and everyone loved him. Was he saved? I'll tell you yes with a smile on my face. I'll tell you later who led him to Christ.

After cursing him for not giving me money because he knew how I'd spend it, he told me to stay away until I got right my heart. I know it really pained him to know that his only son in Milwaukee was deeply involved with drugs.

My second oldest sister had her own challenges with drugs, but she overcame cocaine, but not weed. I called my oldest sister a saint because my father looked up to her. He was very proud of her, and yet she stayed away from us. I don't blame her today. I know she had her own problems, primarily that her son died from sickle cell anemia. Now I understand why my father was so proud of her. My second oldest sister held nothing back when she told you the truth about yourself. She overcame the loss of her son who was killed by police when he pulled out of his pocket what they thought was a gun. They shot him in cold blood. Something like this would've driven anyone to insanity. However, both my sisters were stronger through all of this pain than I could've been, and I'm a man.

My little sister is another story. She's the only woman I know who could beat me up. She's still my best friend.