Called to a Life of Pain For His Glory: A ninety day devotional for anyone living a life of pain

By Jodi Sackman

Everyone experiences pain at one time or another. For some of us, a few days of pain turn into weeks, months, years, and then decades. What do you do when you feel betrayed by your own body? How does faith fit into a life of pain? What can you do when, like Paul, God says, "No" to your request for healing? Can God receive glory from your life? Can you be used in spite of your limitations? These are a few of the questions I have asked as I've had to learn to live with chronic pain caused by fibromyalgia. In Called to a Life of Pain, I share the life lessons Abba has taught me. Sometimes serious, sometimes humorous, always honest, Called to a Life of Pain for HIS Glory is a call to arms for those who are hurting. Don't give up! Don't quit! You matter, you can make a difference in God's kingdom, your pain has a purpose.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Dec 11, 2017
• ISBN: 9781640796522

Book preview

Foreword

I have been pastoring over twenty years and have seen a lot people live in pain during this time. Many will use their pain as an excuse on why they cannot serve the Lord. Miss Jodi (as I call her), my wife, has always thought of it as a way to enhance and advance the kingdom of God.

I encourage the reader to not go too quickly through the devotion but to take one day at a time reading and let the message soak in. I’ve been married to Miss Jodi for nearly thirty years and have watched her use the trials of her illness to do great and mighty things through the Lord’s leading. You can make a difference even when your body says no way.

It is an honor to be able to be married to this woman who has a desire to help others who live daily in pain. Miss Jodi has the gift of teaching and has used to it to write this book for others to see their potential in His kingdom work. May the Lord bless the reader with a new or better outlook on their future for His glory!

Pastor Chuck Sackman (Blessed to be called Miss Jodi’s husband)

Voodoo Mosquitoes Can’t Keep Me Home!

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? You were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.

—1 Corinthians 6:19-20

In November 2006, we were in Haiti during our annual leadership conference there. Everything went as usual with only one out of the ordinary occurrence. We saw blancs (white folks) that we didn’t bring with us. Little did I know that having people in town with the same skin tone would change my life forever. It is a hard and fast Haiti missionary rule that everyone wears high-potency insect repellent; malaria and dengue fever are both carried by mosquitoes there. Faithfully, I applied my Haitian perfume at least twice a day, and yet my left ankle was bitten repeatedly. Suffering for Jesus, you know? It’s part of the journey. The team completed their work, said their good-byes, and flew back home. Life continued as normal for two weeks.

Then one Sunday evening, I collapsed into my husband’s arms. He thought maybe I was goofing around at first because I was fine one minute and then the next, my legs wouldn’t support me. The weakness was soon followed by a fever, followed by a mild rash, followed by the incredible bone-crushing pain that made our worst fears a reality. I had dengue fever, a.k.a. break-bone fever—a most appropriate moniker! You see, in the remote village where we work, everyone is Haitian. People of African descent don’t get dengue fever, but us blancs do. There was a family of American missionaries living in town; their son had dengue when we arrived. The mosquito bit him, and then me, and three weeks later there you have it, a tropical disease in Northwest Arkansas!

That was just the beginning! A second much worse rash came, my feet and calves swelled to Fred Flintstone proportions, and there was seventy-two hours straight of a pins-and-needles sensation in my hands and feet, all while fighting a fever, having no appetite or strength to move even from room to room. It was a harrowing ordeal, and it wasn’t over yet. It took six weeks to recover and even more time to regain any strength or stamina, all the while knowing we were scheduled to return in March. The question on everyone’s mind, would I make the trip?

Oddly, it was an easy answer for me, yes. Yes, I would return to the mission field that God had called me to and uniquely equipped me for by allowing a passable knowledge of their language. Once you have had dengue, you are immune to that strain and increasingly susceptible to the other three strains including dengue hemorrhagic fever, which is most often fatal if not always. My body is not my own, I was bought at a price. I am prepared to die, secure in my eternity with God. The Haitian nation is riddled with voodoo and corruption; I had a job to do and good news to share. Stepping off the plane after the dengue was a moment of victory, and the tears rolled down my face. The voodoo mosquitoes hadn’t kept me home! I was back, and God was glorified in my body.

My triumphant return was in March 2007. What I know now, but I didn’t know then, was that my life has been irrevocably changed. It took four years for my immune system to recover to its new normal. The dengue, I now know, was the trigger for the fibromyalgia that has only recently been diagnosed. My health, while never great, was forever weakened. There are two sides to every coin, and believe it or not, the good outweighs the bad! My return to Haiti showed me where my strength lies: in my spirit. Physically, I am weak; but spiritually, God has granted me great strength. Often, I hear people refer to the heroes of the Bible in awed tones saying, I don’t know if I could do that … I smile and say, I know, I once had my own Red Sea to cross, and by God’s grace I crossed it! Voodoo mosquitoes don’t scare me!

Live victoriously: Never lose concern for lost souls.

Mischief Is Good for the Soul if Not for the Hairdo

Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together.

—Hebrews 10:25

As a person living with chronic pain, this verse has, frankly, caused me a great deal of heartache. Time and time again I have heard pastors and evangelists quote this verse, encouraging the flock to not miss a single meeting. My soul longed to live this verse out as I understood it. How I have cried over missing services! Just recently, I found peace with this verse as I came to understand it better. The keyword for those living with chronic pain and illness is forsake. Forsake means to turn your back on the church and to despise the fellowship. Although my health prevents me from attending Sunday evening services (Sunday morning services wear me out) and I may never get to sit through an entire revival, I haven’t forsaken the assembly. I have attended services with migraines, back pain, ulcers, and low blood sugar. I have taken to toting my heating pad to church services to minimize the pain of sitting for three hours. I have gone to church under the influence of pain pills, sometimes with hilarious results …

You see, I am the pastor’s wife, and a certain level of decorum is expected, at least by me. Although my pain medicine doesn’t leave me loopy, it does sometimes lower my inhibitions; and there have been some giggle fits that interrupted service, but my favorite story involves a glass of ice water. Because I wanted to be in service, I rested all of Wednesday afternoon and timed my medicine to take me through the evening service. As I walked to the car following service, I saw a young unsuspecting man in my path and I thought, I should spill my ice water on his head. A war waged within me. Jodine Nicole, that is inappropriate behavior. Keep walking, was drowned out by my inner child yelling, Do it, do it! The child won, and I did it! I walked right up behind this brother in Christ and up ended my cup, ice, water, and all. As he stood there soaking wet, blinking and sputtering, M-m-miss Jodi, I c-c-can’t b-b-believe you did that I made my way happily to the car. The point of this story is be in church if at all possible. Had I stayed home that night, I would have missed some blessed mischief, a good giggle, and a chance to remind folks that I am more than a condition called fibromyalgia. Forsake the assembly? Never! Will I miss a service? Most certainly, but I can miss in peace of mind knowing the difference between forsaking and missing the assembly.

Live victoriously: Do whatever it takes to make it to church as often as possible. When you can’t attend, rest in God’s grace.

A Wounded Soldier

Therefore we do not lose heart, even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a more exceeding and weight of glory, but we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.

—2 Corinthians 4:16-18

In reviewing my study notes in preparation to teach, I found these words … I’m a wounded soldier, but I continue to battle as best I can from the recliner. My ministry is mostly behind-the-scenes, praying for others and writing studies. I am unable to participate in all the church events that I want to because my body just can’t keep up with everyone else. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. Although my body won’t allow me to do all I want to do, I am learning to do all I can do. Even in pain, I can read God’s Word, pray as the Spirit leads, encourage others by texts and phone calls, study and write knowing that my light affliction is but for a moment and is working for God’s glory.

Therefore do not lose heart. It is easy when you live with chronic pain or illness to lose heart, to feel useless. What is easy is rarely what is right, and these thoughts are the work of the enemy. It strikes me that Christ did his greatest work here on earth as a wounded warrior; beaten and bloodied, He went to the cross to pay the sin debt for each of us. God created me for a purpose and even though the outward man is perishing, the inward man is being renewed day by day. In His renewal and His strength, I find my purpose and worth. So I continue to wage war against the enemy from my recliner. I may be wounded, but I am in the Lord’s army. Yes, sir!

Live victoriously: Seek ways to serve God in spite of your limitations.

The Unword Challenge

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer.

—Psalm 19:14

Every January I hear the word resolution. Many people resolve many things to improve their life each year at this time. From what I can see, most resolutions are forgotten by Valentine’s Day. This year, my best friend threw me a curveball; instead of a resolution, she proposed the unword challenge. The unwording process is the elimination of words from my vocabulary that lead to a negative self-image. The internal dialogue I can’t escape, the meditation of my heart, needs to be pleasing to my Lord as well as the spoken word. After a couple days of soul-searching, I chose two words to remove from my vocabulary: betrayal and enemy.

The words in and of themselves are not the problem. The problem is the context in which I use these words, in reference to my body. When my body lets me down and I cannot do what I want to do, I feel betrayed; my body becomes my enemy. The enemy uses pain and fatigue to keep me from living the life I want to live. It often seems as if my body is fighting dirty, ambushing me at the worst possible times, keeping me from living the life I want to live. There’s the rub. The life I want to live. I am called to this life of pain for God’s glory; my body is not the enemy. Be that as it may, I still fight to get through many days; I fight to keep a good attitude and not sink into depression. I fight the anxiety caused by my undependable body because I am never quite sure when my body will fail me next. I fight, I fight, I fight. The pain is my enemy, not my body—there is a difference!

*I am fearfully and wonderfully made! (Psalm 139:14) My body is not the enemy.

*I am God’s workmanship! (Ephesians 2:10) My body is not the enemy.

*I am created in the very image of God! (Genesis 1:26) My body is not the enemy.

When I consider my body to be a betraying enemy, I am demeaning the beautiful creation of God that is me. That is a sin! Am I called to just surrender to the pain? Hardly! I am called to fight the good fight of faith and lay hold of eternal life (1 Timothy 6:12a). God is glorified because by faith in Him alone I keep fighting the pain, seeking a closer walk with Him, and ministering to others. I can say it is by faith alone because I do not have any strength without Him. My faithfulness to His Church and kingdom’s work is a living reminder to all around me to deny self. Perspective is everything; how I view myself and my health matters to God. When the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart are acceptable in the sight of God, He is my strength! In His strength, I will delete these words from my vocabulary and know sweet victory in my life.

Live victoriously: Consider the meditations of your heart. Ask the Lord what words you need to unword from your vocabulary.

I Don’t Want All Done Crying, Daddy!

But the hour is coming, and now is, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth; for the Father is seeking such to worship Him. God is spirit, and those who worship Him must worship in spirit and truth.

—John 4:23-24

When my granddaughter, Jael, was three years old, her mother left her at home with her daddy while she went to visit her sister in Costa Rica. Poor Jael had a rough time. Sunday after church, she