The Grace Embrace

By Kim Mallette

If we are honest with ourselves, we know we need God's grace. Most of us, once we know our need, want and seek it. What then? Is that the end of the matter? Or did God pour out His grace on us in order to do more than just save us? If we examine the accounts of Jesus's life and ministry, and listen to His teachings, we will discover that when we receive His grace, and truly embrace it, this grace will begin to impact every facet of our lives and relationships. None of us deserve the grace of Jesus. But, by His unfathomable act of love, He has gifted us with both the incentive and empowerment to allow His grace to change our lives from the trivial to the triumphant. We will not view ourselves or others the same way ever again. So whether you read this book for your own personal growth, or whether you join with others to discuss its biblical insights, be sure that you don't miss the opportunity to embrace the grace of Jesus.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Jul 8, 2020
• ISBN: 9781098028534

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The Grace Embrace

Kim M. Mallette

Copyright © 2020 by Kim M. Mallette

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

All Scripture references, unless noted, are from the New International Version (NIV) Bible.

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My View of Myself

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact the Way I Transform

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My Homecoming

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My Pride

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact His Plan for Me

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My View of Death

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My View of Others

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact the Way I Forgive

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact the Way I Tell My Story

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My Impact

Introduction

Okay, I can’t think of too many things in which I could say I’m an expert. I would count eating as an expertise! I could also throw in sleeping—I’ve got that mastered! There is one other thing I am an expert on: grace! Now, I don’t mean that I have a perfect grasp of what it is or how it works, but wow, do I need it! More than that, I’ve received more grace than I could ever comprehend! If trying to get it right were a contest, there’s no doubt in my mind that I replaced Paul as the king of the heap of sinners (1 Timothy 1:15) long ago. Come to think of it, that’s another thing I’m an expert at: sin.

So why am I still putting ink to a sheet of paper about such a holy ground subject? Why don’t I write books entitled "Seven Deadly Sins of a Dirty Rotten Scoundrel," or You’re Okay, but I’m a Worthless Wretch! or See You at the Top…of the Dung Pile! I repeat: I know what I deserve to be writing. Yet this book tops my list of what I should be writing.

My motivation for writing this book comes from my never-ending need for grace. Though I have taught God’s grace for over forty years, it’s just been the last fifteen to twenty years where I have begun to get it. You see, you need to know this about me: I would do just about anything for anyone. But I have a tough time allowing anyone to do anything for me. For example, if you asked my wife and me over for supper this Friday night, after accepting, I would respond by asking, What may I bring? How about if Ange and I bring chips and salsa?

You might answer, I’m grilling burgers and my wife makes some killer homemade French fries. We’re covered. You don’t need to bring anything.

I respond, Well, how about if we bring dessert? I will churn up some homemade peach ice cream and grab some of those delicious cookies from the bakery.

You respond, Thanks, sounds great, but we’re good…we just bought a gallon of ice cream at the store, and I’m going to bake up one of my Blue-Ribbon apple pies.

I persist: Okay…then we will bring the condiments: the ketchup, mustard, mayo, onions, pickles, cheese…and we’ll fix a veggie tray.

Well, by this time, you’re more than a little irritated with me: Kim, just come! Don’t bring anything! Your presence is enough.

So Friday night rolls around and your doorbell rings and I’m carrying chips and salsa, homemade ice cream and cookies, and a relish tray along with all the condiments. Guess what? I’ve ticked you off royally! That’s right! All you wanted was the opportunity to treat us. But crazy me, I had to bring something! Why? Because Kim Mallette can’t let you do something for Kim, without Kim doing something in return.

That little story is an exaggeration, but it illustrates what my tendency is. I have a tough time letting anyone do anything for me. That very reason is why grace has been so difficult for me to receive…and maybe…just maybe…the same could be said of you. Please understand: I want God’s grace! I want what Jesus did for me! I want His forgiveness, acceptance, heaven, and His multiple blessings! I want those things in the worst way! But… I don’t deserve those things! Why would God freely give Kim Mallette anything? So my response has been: God, thank you for your grace…but just so I’m not being ‘too much’ of a burden to you, here’s what I’m going to do for you: I’ll teach, I’ll share you with others, I’ll give financially, I’ll read my Bible more, I’ll pray more fervently, I’ll help the poor, I’ll go on mission trips, I’ll… (fill in the blank)! It is impossible for me to just let Jesus do for me…I must merit, earn, work for, do something to ‘deserve’ His gift of sacrifice for me. Why? Because I don’t deserve it!

If it were a math problem, my previous theology about grace would look like this:

99.999% (What Jesus did for me)

+

00.001% (What I bring to the table for Him)

= 100.00% Salvation/Heaven/Blessings/Forgiveness

That’s pretty good math, but terrible theology! Why? Because that’s not grace! I bring nothing to the table! In fact, even on my very best days, I don’t have anything worthy to bring! Besides that, anything I try to bring nullifies what God has done for me. You see, grace can’t be bought, earned, worked for, merited, deserved, or credited to our accounts by us. If it is, then it is no longer grace. The Scriptures make very clear that grace is 100 percent a gift:

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast. (Ephesians 2:8–9)

At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. (Titus 3:3–7)

So when we try to do those things and we believe there will be some sort of tradeoff with God to obtain His grace, we just mess it all up. Allow me to illustrate:

Let’s pretend I knew it was a good friend’s birthday, and I decided to give him a present. Remember, this is a fictitious illustration…I can’t remember anyone’s birthday, and I don’t give many presents…and this next part is a REAL stretch as well. A couple of years ago, I decided to buy myself a nice watch…not one of the takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’ $16.99 specials that I usually buy. I purchased a super sweet-looking watch with tritium hands, automatic movement, atomic synchronization, and water resistant up to one hundred meters. It, being a nicer model, came with a price tag of $1,000. I wanted a nice watch, so I bought it. However, once I got it, I didn’t want to wear it. I was afraid I’d lose it or have it stolen. It remained in the original box in my dresser drawer. Back to my friend’s birthday. Voila! I know what I’m giving my friend! I put the box in one of those little gift bags and give it to him over lunch. Happy birthday! I proclaim.

He looks at the bag and says, I can’t take a gift from you. I’ve never bought you anything before.

I say, Doesn’t matter…you’re one of my dearest friends and I want you to have this gift. He reluctantly opens the bag, pulls out the box, opens it, and sees the watch. Unfortunately, I had left the original price tag in the box. He sees that $1,000 price tag, the quality of the watch, and pushes it back to me and says, I can’t accept this.

Yes, you can, I say. I want you to have it! Happy birthday!

My friend looks at the watch and reaches into his pocket and pulls out a $20 bill. I will only accept this gift IF you let me give you $20 for it…it’s the least I can do!

Okay, two things happened in that scenario: (1) The watch was no longer a gift—my friend just bought it. (2) He cheapened the value of the watch. A $1,000 watch became a $20 watch.

That’s what we do when we believe we can merit or earn God’s grace: (1) Anything we do causes it to no longer be a gift, and (2) we cheapen His gift…Christ’s sacrifice. What Jesus did for you and me was a gift, based upon His character and His love, and not upon our response, effort, or anything that we think might obligate God to us. If we want grace to be grace, we must allow what Jesus did for us to remain a gift. That doesn’t mean service, giving, evangelism, worship, Christlikeness, etc., are not necessary. Those things are a response to His gift and must never be viewed as means to secure His gift. We can’t force or obligate God to do what He has done for us when it comes to salvation, forgiveness and eternity with Him. All we can do is accept the free gift of His grace. We do so by placing our faith in Him, and only Him.

Grace will never be something we deserve. That’s what makes it grace. I have always said the right thing (i.e., I don’t deserve God’s grace…), but was missing grace, because I thought I could surely offer something as my personal contribution to help Him, help me. Nope! We’re sinners. We have nothing that isn’t tainted by sin. Regardless how you and I may try to dress it up, everything we bring before Him has been contaminated by our fallenness. Therefore, our contributions will always fall far short.

That leads me back to why I’m writing this book. Everyone can think of failures before God. Our sinfulness, our rebellion, our self-centeredness and selfishness. We know our sins of commission (doing things we know are outside of God’s will) and omission (not doing things that are within the will of God), our neglect of the lost and needy, our sinful habits, and our worldly foolishness, etc. These have left us with:

Regrets

Guilt

Embarrassment and shame

Feelings of a life wasted

Lost credibility and integrity

Broken relationships

Bad memories

Lost opportunities

Depression and feelings of insignificance

Hauntings of worthlessness

The contempt and judgment of others

Loss of health, money, jobs, and time

I’ve experienced most of these, but I imagine, if you peel back the layers of the onion, you have as well. This book is for us. It is not designed to erase the things above. I agree with the quote that is on various posters: "You are free to choose but are not free from the consequences of your choices." That will only happen in Heaven. For now, you and I live with the residual effects of our sins, the sin of Great-Grandpa Adam, and the sins of others. BUT God’s grace is available to help us and motivate us to respond appropriately amid sin’s effects and consequences. I must believe that you, like me, need a reminder. Jesus and His Word provide that reminder, as you and I choose to truly accept God’s gift of grace to us and allow it to envelop us. I hope you will join me for an hour or two…I believe there will be at least one chapter that will have a profound impact on the way you begin to view yourself, others, and life in general, through the grace of Jesus Christ.

Part One

How Grace Impacts Me

Chapter 1: Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My View of Myself

Chapter 2: Allowing God’s Grace to Impact the Way I Transform

Chapter 3: Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My Homecoming

Chapter 4: Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My Pride

Chapter 5: Allowing God’s Grace to Impact His Plan for Me

Chapter 6: Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My View of Death

Chapter 1

Allowing God’s Grace to Impact My View of Myself

Luke 17:11–19

It was early in 2005 while on a short-term missions trip to the western African country of Benin that I encountered this disease for the first time. We visited the chief of a small village and took seats on benches outside his hut. When he came out to greet us, I was not prepared for what I saw. While not in advanced stages yet, there were obvious signs of malformations. Knowing the name of the disease he bore disturbed me as much as what my eyes beheld. My heart went out to him.

The scientific name for the disease is Mycobacterium leprae. The modern-day version’s name is Hansen’s disease. It isn’t quite the same as the form of the disease mentioned in Bible times and is named after Gerhard Henrik Armauer Hansen. Hansen identified the bacterium around 1873. The name the Bible assigns the disease, and by which it is primarily known today, is leprosy.

Leprosy is an infectious disease. It is transmitted primarily by physical contact with a carrier or via secretions from the upper respiratory tract. Although it manifests itself as a skin disease, it is primarily a disease of the nervous system. Leprosy attacks the peripheral nervous system and spreads to one’s extremities where deformities take place. It’s not unusual for lesions, tumors, or nodes to appear on the skin. Leprosy doesn’t necessarily kill…it just mutates a person’s appearance. It is a horrible disease to have. Because it attacks the nervous system, the areas of the body affected usually lose sensation and stop responding to pain.

The biblical form of Hansen’s probably included a broader range of skin maladies than it does today. We do know these facts about leprosy’s impact in Bible times:

It was debilitating and disfiguring.

It was a disease that caused social separation (at least among the Israelites). To prevent the spread of the disease, a leper was excluded from his home, family, and social interaction (except from other lepers, i.e., leper colonies).

It caused one to be labeled as unclean.

It caused one to be separated from Jewish worship.

It was incurable.

Can you imagine? Daily, your physical appearance was being misshapen. You could not see or interact with your mate, your child, or friends. You had to rely on others for sustenance, because no one would hire you. If anyone came in your direction, you had to scream out, I’m unclean, unclean! so a wide path could be made by the approaching party to avoid contact. There was no hope—no hope—of your situation ever, ever changing. You were impacted physically, mentally, and emotionally. You were cut off, alienated, ignored, marginalized, forgotten, and despised. Life had ended. You weren’t living; you were merely existing.

In the first century, Samaria was a section of Israel that most Jews liked to pretend didn’t exist. Samaria was a terrible reminder of their own failure centuries before when Israel had abandoned God. God disciplined them via the hands of Assyria and their king, Sargon II, and Babylonia and their powerful king, Nebuchadnezzar. Both Sargon and Nebuchadnezzar deported the middle and upper-class Jews. The skilled and educated were taken back to Assyrian and Babylonian captivity. The kings left a contingency of their armies to police the poor of the land. In the intervening years, Assyrian and Babylonian soldiers and Jewish women intermarried. The resulting people, a mixture of Jew and Gentile, became known as Samaritans. These racially and spiritually mixed people were abhorred by the Jewish elitists. A Jew would neither talk to, socialize with, or have any contact with a Samaritan. In fact, rather than taking a shortcut through Samaria, Jews would take the longer path around. Racism, elitism, and otherwise, pure hatred, were common Jewish attitudes toward Samaritans.

Jesus didn’t buy in to that ugliness. One day, Jesus and the disciples were traveling toward Jerusalem. Their path took them down the border of Galilee and Samaria. The text doesn’t say this, but before entering a village, they probably heard from a distance the required greeting: We’re unclean…unclean! A group of ten lepers had strategically positioned themselves between the village and Jesus. Remember, I said that to be a leper was to live without hope of ever being cured of this dastardly disease. That is, until Jesus came along. He had healed lepers. He had given His disciples the power to cure leprosy. These lepers had heard the news and reports. They had only one desire that day. That was to receive something they didn’t deserve. They wanted to have Jesus show pity on them. From their distant spot in the road, as one voice, they cried out to Jesus pleading for that very thing: Jesus, Master, have pity on us!

These ten men, who perhaps had not seen their families or friends for months, or years, were waiting. These men who had not felt the touch of another human being, had not been allowed to worship in a synagogue, and had watched in anguish as their own physical bodies became a mass of grotesque flesh were looking for Jesus. These who had been avoided, laughed at, and completely ostracized, needed grace. They needed the intervention of the one and only person who could change the utter waste their lives had become.

Do you know a leper? Maybe, the better question is, Are you a ‘leper’? Understand this: most of us are, even if we might like to think otherwise. Those with whom we work, go to church, or even those friends and family with whom we are closest, may not realize it. The sad reality is that all of us have those secrets that may have already been leaked. The whole world knows. Perhaps, those things remain secret. The very thought of someone else finding out, leaves us sick to our stomach. It may be that our secret is having a spirit of self-righteousness or legalism. It may be that our secret is an abortion or having fathered a child and never accepted responsibility. It may be a secret addiction: pain meds, alcohol, pornography, gambling, being a workaholic, etc. It may be a deceptive tongue, a judgmental heart, a critical spirit, or a struggle with envy and jealousy. Your secret may be a battle with egotism, or an obsession with possessions and money. It may be ignoring the needs of others, or possibly, poor and undisciplined parenting. The list can go on and on. Perhaps your secret is related to not being the spiritual person you’re thought to be. Your prayer life is lacking, your worship is shallow, and you’re simply going through the motions. Your giving is minimal, your time in the Word is pathetic, your love for your brother is conditional, and your evangelistic efforts are nonexistent. Your convictions are baptized in compromise, and your devotion and commitment to Jesus are anything but.

All of us have some secret we hope is never exposed. However, chances are good that it will be. For most of us, it already has been. With the exposure comes loss of credibility, friends, loss of family, respect, opportunities, and service. We lose the ability to see ourselves without all the warts, tumors, and disfigurement. The Bible is filled with descriptions of such lepers, and their very description high-lights the ugliness of their sin.

(Noah) became drunk and lay uncovered inside his tent. (Genesis 9:21)

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, ‘After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?’ Then theLordsaid to Abraham, ‘Why did Sarah laugh and say, Will I really have a child, now that I am old? Is anything too hard for theLord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year, and Sarah will have a son.’ Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, ‘I did not laugh.’ But he said, ‘Yes, you did laugh.’ (Genesis 18:10b–15)

When the people saw that Moses was so long in coming down from the mountain, they gathered around Aaron and said, ‘Come, make us gods who will go before us. As for this fellow Moses who brought us up out of Egypt, we don’t know what has happened to him.’ Aaron answered them, ‘Take off the gold earrings that your wives, your sons and your daughters are wearing, and bring them to me.’ So all the people took off their earrings and brought them to Aaron. He took what they handed him and made it into an idol cast in the shape of a calf, fashioning it with a tool. Then they said, ‘These are your gods, Israel, who brought you up out of Egypt.’ (Exodus 32:1–4)

One day Samson went to Gaza, where he saw a prostitute. He went in to spend the night with her. (Judges 16:1)

Eli’s sons were scoundrels; they had no regard for theLord. (1 Samuel 2:12)

The word of theLordcame to Jonah son of Amittai:‘Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me.’ But Jonah ran away from theLordand headed for Tarshish. He went down to Joppa, where he found a ship bound for that port. After paying the fare, he went aboard and sailed for Tarshish to flee from theLord. (Jonah 1:1–3)

He then began to teach them that the Son of Man must suffer many things and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and after three days rise again. He spoke plainly about this, and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him. But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter. ‘Get behind me, Satan!’ he said. ‘You do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns.’ (Mark 8:31–33)

From Paphos, Paul and his companions sailed to Perga in Pamphylia, where John (Mark) left them to return to Jerusalem. (Acts 13:13)

This is not an exhaustive list of examples, but they illustrate how one choice, one action, or one secret, can label you a leper. Noah, Sarah, Aaron, Samson, Eli, Jonah, Peter, and John Mark all made choices that carried both consequences and impacted their reputation. Undoubtedly, there was a skewed view of themselves. The life of a leper goes far beyond the physical repercussions. One’s very person and how they see themselves, are tremendously impacted. In fact, the impact may well be described with an even stronger word…warped.

When our oldest daughter, Amanda, was five, the school she would be attending in the fall had a Kindergarten Roundup. Among other things, the preschoolers received a free eye exam and physical evaluation. The eye exam revealed that Amanda had a vision problem, of which her mother and I were totally unaware. We set up an appointment with an ophthalmologist. After examining her thoroughly, the doctor diagnosed that Amanda had a lazy eye. Also known as amblyopia, lazy eye is an eye condition in which there is blurry or reduced vision in one eye. In addition to Amanda needing glasses, the doctor prescribed that Amanda wear an adhesive patch over her good eye to force the bad eye to work harder and correct itself. We left the doctor’s office with Amanda wearing an eye patch. Her five-year-old view of herself immediately became warped. Though it was her physical eyesight that was being addressed, it was her emotional perception of who she was that ended up askew.

I have no doubt that what I am writing resonates with many. You may feel you are a failure as a parent or as a mate. You