Without Amen

By K.T. Clown

May 4 of this year marked the forty-sixth anniversary of the Kent State Massacre. On May 4, 1970, four students were shot and killed, and eight were wounded by the Ohio National Guard. The students were demonstrating against the expansion of the Vietnam War in Cambodia. The guardsmen were under orders to take cover and return fire on the unarmed students. The guardsmen said there was a sniper, and the students said there wasn’t one. So after a full-minute volley of rifle fire, four unarmed students lay dead in their own blood. Yet to my knowledge, there was no mention of that anniversary on any media. How on God’s green earth are we supposed to learn from our history if we aren’t aware of it? Kissy remembers because he wants to. He believes that where we are going should be in the shadow of where we have been. Kissy doesn’t think we should be told how to think. Without Amen is an honest approach to life through the eyes of a clown—where this country has been and where Kissy has been. His views are not for light reading and usually not politically correct. His insight into family, friends, and his faith in God are offensive to some and important to others. I have learned much from Kissy’s unique approach to life. You might agree with him, or you might not. He just hopes you will be less afraid to think outside of the box.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 2, 2017
• ISBN: 9781635686470

Book preview

cover.jpg

Without Amen

K. T. Clown

Copyright © 2017 K.T. Clown

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2017

ISBN 978-1-63568-646-3 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63568-647-0 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Preface

I am quite aware that this is supposed to say Foreword, but it is Backward for three really good reasons. The first is, I am a clown, and I am writing it and can do anything I want. The second is that my friend is a broken-down cowboy (they are kind of strange because they watch campfires a lot). And the third is what the book is all about—looking at who we are … backward.

One of the most consistent things in my life has been my interest in people. Like most clowns, I’m a people watcher. I have found that when I stop talking and take the time to listen to anyone other than myself, I walk away a better person. Every one of us has an important story to tell about how we became what we are today. This book is a bunch of short stories and thoughts that tell you how I became who I am today. Maybe you will see yourself from time to time, or maybe I will bring a chuckle, anger, or a tear to your eye. Whatever the case, Without Amen is a look backward in how I became Kissy T. Clown.

Heck, you didn’t even know that a clown could read, let alone write a book. See? You just learned something valuable. Bet you didn’t know that clowns have feelings. Well, they do, and you just learned another thing. Let me tell you a little about who I am today before we go back to how I got here.

I believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost. Just lost a bunch of you, didn’t I? I believe that everything I have and am came from my Father in heaven and that the number one tool Satan uses to destroy our relationship with the Lord is our ego. I just lost most of the rest of you. I am sorry you have to go away, but it’s probably for the best. You are just not ready for a clear look at why you are probably not going to inherit the kingdom of God.

Bet you thought you had it made and you are a very good person and you do so many nice things. So why is your invite to the hereafter in trouble? When you went through your transformation and became born again or gave your life to Christ or whatever you want to call it, you gave everything to the Lord. You gave him your family, your job, your material possessions, your money … Now wait one darn minute. That is just too much! Not the money too! You gave it all to him, but you want to maintain control of it. Makes sense, doesn’t it? So we can give it all to the Lord and be proud of all we have and all we’ve done. Wrong. Wrong. And more wrong.

You can’t give it to the Lord and take it back the moment after we feel so warm and fuzzy. Yep, it’s the ego talking. Look at my car. Look at my house. Look at my wonderful kids. Look at my job. Look at my boat, my scooter, the cool way I raise my hands in church and sing as sweet as can be, my bank account … No, wait a minute. You gave it all to the Lord, but your ego wants it back. The only thing I, Kissy T. Clown, can be proud of is my relationship with my Lord. I have nothing and am nothing without him, so why would I want to maintain possession of anything? He talks to me, and I hear him. Sometimes I think he is wrong, and I argue with him only to find out he is always right.

Every decision I’ve made in my life that didn’t include the Lord has turned out to be a wrong decision. We choose a job because of the great income it brings. We choose a mate because they make our thighs tremble. We choose a church because the coach goes there. We drive sixty miles an hour in a deer crossing area and wonder why we are sometimes in trouble. We wonder why the job made us compromise our principles and our mate liked our best friend more than us. Have we learned absolutely nothing about the kingdom of God or why there was a whole herd of deer in the middle of the road?

Like most of you, I’ve spent much of my life making the same mistakes over and over. Like most of you, I have never been a very good listener. The Lord really wants to talk to us. I’ve often been too busy to wait for that still, quiet voice. It would be so much easier if he would smack me up along the side of the head, but again, he wants to do it his way, not my way.

The great thing about getting older is I have developed a little more patience. I am not as quick to make a decision. And most of all, I have learned the dangers of the ego. How did you get to this point in your life? Old or young, you have a story to tell, and I would be a better person if I took the time to listen. Maybe you are the person on the street, and the Lord said, Go ask him how he is today. Maybe you are the employee to whom the Lord said, Go ask your boss how their relationship is with God. (Not politically correct, and you’d get fired.) Sometimes their answer is Having a pretty tough day. Stepped in some dog poop on the way to the car, and it all went downhill from there. And sometimes it’s a lot more serious than that, like their spouse just died or their house just got repossessed. The conversation usually changes when you say that you will say a short prayer as soon as you walk away or Do you want to talk to the Lord right now?

Then there are the good ones, like I think my fifth knee transplant is going to be a success. And we ask if they have thanked God for that success. How often I fail and how often I have to ask his forgiveness. And to make matters worse, how often I fail, and I have to ask a grocery clerk or a telephone operator or Mrs. Kissy for forgiveness. (Can you just imagine all the things she has to forgive?) You see, just asking the Lord for his forgiveness isn’t enough. We also have to ask those we have sinned against for their forgiveness. It’s probably written somewhere. When I first adapted this way of life, I spent most of my day apologizing to most of the people I came in contact with. My prayers were more about forgiving myself back then. Although practice does not make perfect, I’m getting better at it.

Frankly, my dear (a little Clark Gable), I really don’t care about your great accomplishments or how many times you go to church every week. Just lost all the rest of you, didn’t I? What I really care about is your salvation. And we all know that our salvation involves giving it all up and giving the Lord complete control of our lives. So if my journey to this point in my life helps you, then whoopee! If it doesn’t, then I just wasted a lot of time writing this, and you just wasted a lot of time reading it. Pass it on to someone who wants it.

So why am I, Kissy T. Clown, writing this instead of my broken-down cowboy buddy? You should know the answer to that by now. Duh! The cowboy can’t write anything because you or he might think he is a hypocrite or a pompous jerk. And so in the interest of trying to be being humble, he asked me to write this (plus, most of the stuff in here would really embarrass him and make his family angry).

So why, you ask, did I title the book Without Amen? I am so glad you asked. It is so simple. Call it cowboy logic that I have converted to clown logic, commonly called the KISS method (keep it simple, stupid). In some book in the Bible, in the second chapter and verse something, it says, Pray without ceasing." Yep, it does. That means we need to be in prayer twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And although I try to accomplish that, it is one of my many failures. I finally realized that we end all our prayers with amen. We go to church, and amen is really big. We end certain hymns with amen. And always when the minister gives a benediction at the end of the service, they end it with amen.

Seems to me that the word amen stands between our being successful in praying 24/7 because we are always ending our prayers. So if you get up in the morning and pray and don’t say amen, heck, we might be in prayer all day long because we never ended the prayer! And if we go to church and the minister opens the service with prayer and doesn’t say amen, we might have a solid hour or so of intense prayer. And when he sends us out the door with a benediction at the end and doesn’t say amen, we just might leave church in prayer, and it might last all week or maybe a little longer than a few minutes. Think about it.

God bless.

Kissy T. Clown

When Do You Know?

I don’t know if I can answer that question. I do know there are two different kinds of people—clowns and other people. And it isn’t humor that separates the two. It is the way we look at things. Clowns look at a tree and are captivated by its right to be different. Other people see only the shade from the hot sun. Clowns look at a prism of sunlight shining on a wall and see the particles of dust drifting through the beam. Other people pull the shades and wonder when the wind will go down. Clowns see a challenged youngster and reach out to touch them or give them a hug. Other people look the other way and plan their escape. Clowns feel your joy and your pain without even a hint except for a smile or tear when they turn the other way. Other people compare their own awesome joy to your little thing or wonder where you screwed up to make such a mess of your life.

Maybe that’s why clowns are so creepy. It’s not about the laughter or the humor. Look into the eyes of a clown, and you’ll see the wisdom of ages past. You have already surmised that most clowns don’t wear makeup and the ability to tell the difference from a clown and other people is learned. Here’s a giant honker horn. If you can appreciate the difference between a clown and other people, you aren’t other people. Other people just think clowns are creepy.

My clown daughter used to break and train horses for a living. And since she is about five feet tall and at least ninety-two pounds, she needs every edge she can get. Most of your well-known and not so well-known horse trainers will have nothing to do with a difficult animal. Imagine a horse that will throw itself on the ground with such force that he knocks the wind out of himself