Secrets Of A Minister's Wife

By Latheira Sigler

You want to protect your children from physical, mental, emotional and sexual abuse. You want the best for them, so they will grow up; reach their full potential and purpose in life. All right, then let's first examine our home environment, places of worship, and other affiliated organizations within our surrounding communities. Change must first begin in our very own backyards. In Secrets of a Minister's Wife, author Latheira Sigler takes you on a heart-wrenching, intense, shocking page-by-page journey as she shares how the spiritual state of the male as an individual, husband, or father matters so much that it can make or break the lives of women and our children. If the male is not connected to the proper source, abuse is inevitable. This unique book gives a detailed account on critical issues such as the following: • How to properly handle matters of abuse in the church • Innocence taken away as a child • Understanding the mindset of an abuser • Red flags/warning signs • Have faith in God • The final escape • Freedom and safety • Restoration • What a healthy relationship should look like • Who is the ultimate deliverer? Our children, whether two or twenty-two, are still our most precious gifts from God. What they are exposed to as a child can continue from generation to generation. It is vital for women, especially men, to take a stand, get sincerely connected, and stay connected to Almighty God. He is the one who breaks cycles, sets captives free, and reveals our God-given purposes. He is the one who teaches us how to have relationships filled with love, humility, respect, and safety. Together, we can do this.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Nov 8, 2016
• ISBN: 9781635253672

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Secrets Of A Minister's Wife

Latheira Sigler

ISBN 978-1-63525-366-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-63525-367-2 (Digital)

Copyright © 2017 by Latheira Sigler

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

296 Chestnut Street

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments

Introduction

CHAPTER ONE

It All Began with Fear and Intimidation

CHAPTER TWO

Attending Church Services as a Child

CHAPTER THREE

Her Knight in Shining Armor

CHAPTER FOUR

The Agreements

CHAPTER FIVE

You Made Your Bed Hard, so Lay in It

CHAPTER SIX

Reasons Why Victims Stay in Abusive Relationships or Marriages

CHAPTER SEVEN

Dream Stealers

CHAPTER EIGHT

If I Can't Have You, No One Can

CHAPTER NINE

The Deceptive Dangerous Plot Executed

CHAPTER TEN

The Ultimate Judge, Defender, and Deliverer

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Filing the Restraining Order, the Final Escape

CHAPTER TWELVE

Forbidden to Go Back

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Staying in an Abusive Relationship or Marriage Will Lead to Several Places

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

What a Healthy Relationship Should Look Like

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Restoration

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

Can a Perpetrator or Abuser Really Change?

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

In Writing This Book: Hell Is for Real

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Knocking on the Door of Your Heart

Acknowledgments

Special thanks and appreciation goes out to

• My loving husband, Minister Kenneth Sigler Jr., for being there for me throughout this whole journey. Thank you so much for your support on many levels and encouragement. I will always love you. You are so valuable to me, and you will always be such a precious treasure to me.

• My mother, Joanne Carey, for being the loving and supportive mother to me. Thank you for instilling in me to always reach for the sky and to achieve whatever I put my mind to.

• My teenage daughter, for encouraging me and giving me much to be inspired about. God has graced you with favor as you continue to shine for the Lord using your unique gifts and talents.

• My teenage son, for giving me much to pray about and for being such a true joy to me as you continue to use your gifts and talents for the Lord. I constantly pray that God will continue to strengthen you.

• Christian Faith Publishing, CF. Thank you for your dedication and all your help during this process of bringing this unique book to life.

• My pastor, he continues to cover us as a church family in prayer.

• My sisters and brothers, Valerie Marshall, Lenricka Carey, Leonardo Carey, Ambrose Carey and Udexter Cleare. I thank you all for the continuous encouragement and support that was given to me as God was birthing my ministry.

Introduction

Have you ever wondered why victims in abusive relationships just don't leave? Or, if they do leave, what makes them keep going back for more mistreatment? Do you know someone who has been abused as a child? Have you ever wondered where was God, or why didn't He do something to intervene or stop it?

My friend, these hard questions and many more will be answered in the upcoming chapters in this book. I have written this book to help you understand the dynamics of abuse from a Godly standpoint and a not-so-godly standpoint. You will experience the ultimate truth through the eyes of the leading character in this book as she blossoms from a naive child into adulthood.

It is time to unmask the real culprit behind so many marriages or homes that are broken. It's time to make known the truth that if the head of the household is not connected to the right source, obeys or submits to that source, it affects everyone in the home, especially the children. These children become adolescents, single adults, date, and marry; and the cycle repeats itself again. It's time to reveal how marriages and other types of relationships can be restored, healthy and function like heaven on earth.

As you embark upon this adventure in this book, I pray that your heart and mind will be open to the truth surrounding the powerful revelations exposed in this book, Secrets of a Minister's Wife.

CHAPTER ONE

It All Began with Fear and Intimidation

As Melvin walked through the front doors of the church on a bright Sunday morning and headed toward the red-colored pews located in the back of the church, a daunting feeling came over Jessica. A combination of intimidation and fear enveloped Jessica. Jessica silently prayed to God concerning Melvin's strange presence. Immediately, God revealed these words to Jessica, Wolf in sheep's clothing.

Let me go, Jessica said softly to Melvin as she turned her mouth away from the microphone. Please, let me go, Jessica pleaded. She then began to snatch her arm out of the grip of Melvin's hands. Melvin was tugging and pulling on Jessica's arm back and forth, preventing her from moving as she sang a gospel fellowship song amidst the congregation. The other praise and worshippers were also singing the same song, but they were free to move around as they saw fit.

Melvin was Jessica's ex-husband. He stood six feet tall and was large to extra-large built. He was also dark complexioned and bald. He did not share the same space with Jessica in a house of worship in well over twelve years. In contrast, Jessica was petite, slim built, and stood only a few inches over five feet. Jessica's caramel to light mocha complexion went well with her dark-colored thick long hair. In addition, there was a huge age difference between Jessica and Melvin. For instance, while Jessica was in her midthirties, Melvin was in his late fifties.

Since Melvin recently entered the small church located in West Palm Beach, Florida, he would, at times, make unpleasant scenes in front of church members to draw attention to himself and Jessica. He would also give her dirty looks in the sanctuary in order to get her to comply with his demands. For example, every time Melvin wanted Jessica to shake his hand, he would give her a certain look that said, You better shake my hand. Melvin even used these intimidating facial gestures in plain sight of the spiritual leader of the church, but he didn't have a clue what Melvin was doing. Most importantly, Melvin would treat Jessica in the previous mentioned ways out of the presence of her husband.

When Jessica finally freed herself from Melvin's hands, she was so relieved. In the past, those same hands locked themselves around Jessica's neck in order to squeeze her throat and compress her windpipe. As a result, air or oxygen was prevented from entering Jessica's lungs until Melvin saw fit to release his hands. Those same hands also used to shove and hit Jessica whenever Melvin felt as though Jessica needed to be tapped up to get back in line. Furthermore, those same hands packed Jessica's suitcase in the past in order to attempt to frame her for a crime she did not commit.

Yet again, Melvin wanted to put those same hands on Jessica's skin. Jessica was tired of Melvin's behavior, so she told her husband everything that was happening out of his presence, while he attended to his ministerial duties. Minister Reed (Jessica's husband), exposed Melvin's behavior to the church leader in his office in a vivid, candid way. Minister Reed suggested to get other brethren in the church involved in the issue of Melvin's misconduct in the church toward his wife. Minister Reed asked for a meeting with the other leaders of the church to address the issue. However, Minister Reed was prompted not to address the issue with the other brethren in the church. As a result, no action was taken against Melvin.

Jessica was a faithful member of the church for seven years and served God with the many gifts and talents He gave her. She also saw the