My Shorts

By Gloria Jones

My Shorts are a collection of my favorite short stories. Treasures that made me laugh and cry. Jonah's Swim reminds us of enjoying the simple pleasures of life a warm bath from a child's eye view. Tazz the Tasmanian Tornado was written for my grandson to cheer him up when he was recovering from multiple surgeries. It made him laugh it cheered him up, hope you enjoy it too. And of course, there is the more serious sides to life hope they make you think a little. But thanks to my sister Klaudya there are a pretty good mix of everything hope you enjoy.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 1, 2021
• ISBN: 9781644249529

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My Shorts

Gloria Jones Jones

Copyright © 2018 Gloria Jones Jones

All rights reserved

First Edition

PAGE PUBLISHING, INC.

New York, NY

First originally published by Page Publishing, Inc. 2018

ISBN 978-1-64424-950-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64424-952-9 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 1

Jonah’s Swim

Eight-year-old Jonah Barnes dove off the pier into Lake Bathe. It had been a tense morning, and the warm water of the lake was so soothing. Jonah had places to go and things to do, but a quick swim made it all melt away. Jonah was an excellent swimmer far beyond his young age.

These were extraordinary waters, and many ocean creatures lived in this lake. Jonah ducked behind a large rock. A large shark swam by, and he was not in the mood for a shark encounter. Back into the open waters, he saw a pod of dolphins and a sea turtle. Over to his left he saw a large shadow. Jonah knew these waters like the back of his hand. What in the world was this? He swam closer. The smell of danger was in the water. All the smaller fish were swimming for their lives past him.

Jonah wondered if he should swim the other way with the smaller fish, not toward the dark shadow. But Jonah loved danger; he was a thrill seeker. Suddenly the shadow moved quickly toward him. Before he could move, the large shadow opened its mouth and swallowed him.

Jonah slid through the shadow’s mouth on a wave of water. He saw its huge teeth. He tried to hold on to its tongue, but it was too slippery. He turned on his back and reached for its uvula, but it, too, was slippery and he could not hold on. So like his favorite ride at the water park, Jonah slid down the shadow’s gullet on a sheet of water. As he slid down, he could not resist yelling Yaaa hooo! as he slid down. He landed on a wet, cold, squishy surface with a few fish, some alive, some dead. It took a few minutes for his eyes to adjust to the dim light. Suddenly a familiar female voice came to his ears.

Mom. Jonah, don’t stay in there too long. We don’t want to be late.

Jonah. Okay, Mom, I won’t.

Jonah continued surveying the landscape, when he saw an old man sitting around a small smoky fire in a small can. The old man turned around with a surprised look on his face.

Jonah. Hi, I’m Jonah.

Old Jonah. Interesting, I am Jonah, son of Amittai. Where did you come from?

Jonah. I just got swallowed by this . . . whatever this is we’re in.

Old Jonah. Fish.

Jonah. What?

Old Jonah. A fish, we are in a big fish.

Jonah. Oh.

Old Jonah. Over there, a piece of driftwood, get it and come sit down. Are you hungry? There is plenty of fish.

Jonah. No, thanks, I’m not hungry, but I’ll get the seat. Your name is Jonah and my name is Jonah. That’s cool, really cool.

Old Jonah. What are you doing here, and what is this cool?

Jonah. Cool is something you say when you like something, you know, cool, and I went for a swim, and this fish ate me.

Old Jonah. I bought passage at Joppa for Tarshish. I was running from the Lord. He wanted me to go to Nineveh and cry against it, but I hated the Ninevites, so I tried to run away. When I got on the ship, a storm came up. I was thrown overboard, and the big fish swallowed me.

Jonah. Cool, you talk like Sunday school. Do you go to Sunday school?

Old Jonah. Sunday school, no. What is Sunday school?

Jonah. Sunday school is where your mom and dad take you to church to learn about God.

Old Jonah. Sunday school is a good plan.

Jonah. You talk funny. You want to know how we are getting out of here?

Old Jonah. I have prayed to the Lord. I know he has heard me. I will wait for him. He will get me out of this fish. He is my God, my salvation.

Jonah. Man, you really talk funny.

A voice invades the fish’s stomach.

Mom. Jonah David Barnes, don’t you make me late. Finish up in there.

Old Jonah looks around in surprise.

Jonah. I won’t make you late, Mom. I’m almost finish.

Old Jonah. What or who was that?

Jonah. My mom. She’s always bugging me to eat my vegetables and pick up my clothes off the floor, don’t tease my sister. Don’t she know I’m a world traveler? I have more important things to do than take out the trash. I’m a man.

Old Jonah. The sound of her is like the sound in the voice of God when he told me to go to Nineveh. I did not go, I disobeyed. I thought I could run away. I disobeyed like you. Do not disobey your mom.

Jonah. Like me! No one drew lots and threw me into the sea.

Old Jonah. How did you know they drew lots? Who told you?

Jonah. Sunday school told me.

Old Jonah. The good plan.

Jonah. Yeah, I guess so. You were almost drowning, and God caused a big fish to swallow, I’m guessing this one and—

Old Jonah. How can you know such things, and how did you choose this fish to eat you?

Jonah. I told you Sunday school.

Old Jonah. Sunday school told you to be swallowed by this fish?

Jonah. No, not that, but I learned all about you and the fish in Sunday school, Jonah and the Fish.

Old Jonah. But your name also is Jonah.

Jonah. Yeah, but I’m only eight.

Old Jonah. I see . . . I’ve been in this fish a long time and—

Jonah. Three days and three nights, I know.

Old Jonah. How could you know? I know, Sunday school, the good plan.

Jonah. If you’ve been in here three days and three nights, God’s going to get you out soon, real soon.

Old Jonah. How . . . I must give thanks to God. I must pray. Come, Jonah, pray with me.

Old Jonah prayed, and Jonah mostly listened. Then the big fish started to convulse and to tremble. A flood of water came into the fish’s stomach with great force it pushed both Jonahs up the fish’s gullet and through the fish’s mouth and out with such force. Old Jonah landed on the shore, but Jonah landed in the water. A dolphin swam by, and Jonah grabbed his tail. He waved to Old Jonah on the shore.

Jonah. Goodbye, you’ll do good in Nineveh.

Old Jonah. Goodbye, God bless you, and obey your mom.

Jonah. I will.

The big