Checking the Widow Box

By Carol Longenecker

I wrote the book that would have been useful to me in my first year of widowhood, a handbook to guide you through the emotions and hurdles unique to losing a husband. Checking the Widow Box is my journey through the changes of cooking for one, the empty chair, the empty side of the bed, the empty birthday, the one whose picture will never again be in your photo albums. I want this book to walk alongside you in the ache you think will never end, the changes you think you will never adjust to, checking the widow box you never wanted to be your identity, at least not yet. Checking the Widow Box will walk you through creating a new rhythm when you have lost a big part of your identity, making major decisions, firsts, asking for help, and dreaming again. Checking the Widow Box does not leave you without hope. In your darkest place, God wants to shine His light. You can laugh and remember even in the pain when His comfort embraces your sorrow.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 20, 2018
• ISBN: 9781640034662

Book preview

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Checking the

Widow Box

Carol Longenecker

Art by Monique Cronk

ISBN 978-1-64003-465-5 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64003-466-2 (Digital)

Copyright © 2017 Carol Longenecker

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books, Inc.

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Table of Contents

Introduction

My Story

Gordon ’s Story

My Story

God’s Story

A Widow

Loss of Identity

The Wedding Ring

New Normal: Creating a New Rhythm

Loneliness

Major Decisions and Firsts

Tears

Sacred Spaces, Sacred Things

Ask!

Dream Again

Journal the Journey

It’s Time to Move On

Isaiah 61:2–3

The Second Year

Prayer

About the Author

To Gordon Eugene Longenecker, my husband of almost twenty-five years—born January 6, 1956, died November 8, 2005:

Christ-follower

Storyteller

Giver of second chances

Thinker

Loyal

Painter extraordinaire

Friend to everyone

Brother and son

Husband and father

Introduction

At first, I could hardly say He died or call myself a widow. The first time I was faced with marking the widow box on an application just a few months after my husband, Gordon, died, I nearly fell apart. I was unprepared. My sister-in-law told me her then three-year-old grandson called his other widowed grandmother a window. I thought, I can say that! I’m a window! Yet as unprepared as I was for that and many other single moments in my journey through widowhood, I was as prepared as anyone can be for the single crisis of loss. I recently heard, You can’t prepare for a crisis in the middle of a crisis, and that was my saving grace, that I had spent years growing my spiritual roots deep into God’s Word. Here is Gordon’s story and my story, followed by God’s story, helping it all make as much sense as it possibly can.

My Story

My walk into widowhood began on a Sunday night, November 6, 2005, with the words Gordon’s missing. I was driving home alone from a four-day trip, seeing our children in college, when my ringing cell phone interrupted my happy thoughts with those words that were to change my life and