Prevail: The Healing Journey Begins: Volume One

By Janette Sams Gleaton

When experiencing abuse the victim's whole world seems to collapse- and time stands still! Victims did not expect hostile treatment; the trauma of abuse leaves them in a state of shock, guilt, and shame. They are trapped in a world not of their choosing. The hard issues of life are often unbearable and seen as being impossible to overcome. This defeated mentality becomes normal because victims have come to believe the lies or negative ideas and thoughts which were planted by their abusers. Victims cannot see God and spiritual truths correctly because they put the face of their abuser on the face of God. As wounded people they must find a safe place or source where they can heal emotionally and spiritually.

Prevail: The Healing Journey Begins identifies abuse, addresses the various issues of abuse, and guides victims to the source of truth as found in Scripture. This healing journey encourages victims to go to the source of truth-God's Word.

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing [through the experience of your faith] that by the power of the Holy Spirit you will abound in hope and overflow with confidence in His promises." (Romans 15:13, AMP)

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 22, 2021
• ISBN: 9781098064525

Book preview

Portrait Of Abuse

Chapter One, Day 1

The law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul.

—Psalm 19:7

The Darkened Soul

When the soul becomes dark and you cannot seem to shake the darkness, what has transpired? Maybe you are reading your Bible, yet you are not experiencing the freedom you read about in God’s Word. Do you see yourself taking one step forward only to take two steps back? Do you see yourself as a defeated, frustrated person? Are you ready to begin the healing journey and travel through to PREVAIL?

Whatever has taken place in your life affects your mind, emotions, and will. Abuse strikes a damaging blow not only to your body, but also to your thinking process—mainly what you think about God, yourself, and others. Most of life’s choices become primarily influenced by the emotions which have a powerful influence over you. Emotions are quick to respond to the thinking process and circumstances, resulting in negative behaviors which will eventually become habits.

The issue of darkness within the lives of victims must be dealt with since darkness results in chaos and terror—the domain of darkness will overpower everything but light. Darkness, not a sin but the result of sin, holds the power of sin. This cruel darkness invades the life of every victim of abuse.

When entering a dark room, you will only see consuming darkness! You are surrounded by darkness! But then suppose someone lights a candle. Now your eyes immediately go to that one small light and the darkness begins to diminish. As you walk closer to the lit candle, the light will become brighter and you can see its source. Then, as you go to the source, you can pick it up and carry it with you. Now you will be able to walk anywhere in the darkness without stumbling or falling over objects. Light has an empowering force over darkness!

You light my lamp; the Lord my God illumines my darkness. (Psalm 18:28)

The Psalm above was written by David, a servant of the Lord, during the time God delivered him from the hands of Saul, his enemy. Your Bible will be your lit candle as you read and embrace its truths. Truth or light can be found only in the Word of God. You can find all the light you will ever need to live in freedom from the past through the redemptive power of Jesus Christ. However, you must choose to go to the light source, pick it up, hang on to it, and depend on it to guide you through the darkness resulting from your abuse.

The flicker of light or truth you have, regardless of how small, must be used to invade the darkness. Hold on to God’s truth in your darkest days. The only thing which will dispel darkness and expose all the ugliness that goes with it will be light or truth. But you, the victim, must choose to believe truth, rather than simply hearing or reading about it.

Living in darkness will produce and reinforce feelings of worthlessness, shame, confusion, helplessness, hopelessness, and hatred or contempt. Any lie includes anything which distorts or replaces the truth—God’s truth. If you believe the lies you hear in your thought life, rather than embracing truth, you submit to the power of darkness. A lie will always wear the mask of truth. When you accept any lie, you embrace a counterfeit.

In total darkness and lies there can be no healing power or peace. As we think, so we are!

Eat not the bread of him who has a hard, grudging, and envious eye, neither desire his dainty foods; for as he thinks in his heart, so is he. As one who reckons, he says to you, eat and drink, yet his heart is not with you [but is grudging the cost]. (Proverbs 23:6—7, AMP)

Outward appearances are not always what they seem. The above Proverb points out this truth. The truth of this passage teaches Christians that what we think gives us the reality of who we really are or what we have become.

God’s truth, light to your path, will reveal and lead you into right thinking and out of the darkness of lies.

WRITE IT OUT

How has abuse affected your mind, emotions, and will?

What are the lies you hear in your head?

How have these lies or negative thoughts affected you emotionally?

How has this type of thinking affected your behavior?

Think about the lies you listed and apply truth to each one.

Chapter One

Days 2–3

"Transgression speaks to the ungodly within his heart; there is no fear of God before his eyes.

For it flatters him in his own eyes concerning the discovery of his iniquity and the hatred of it.

The words of his mouth are wickedness and deceit; he has ceased to be wise and to do good.

He plans wickedness upon his bed; he sets himself on a path that is not good; he does not despise evil."

—Psalm 36:1—4

Turmoil in the Kingdom

During the very cold winter of 2013, Pastor Tommy Nelson of Denton Bible Church, Denton, Texas, was teaching through the Old Testament book of 2 Samuel. One Sunday, his focus was the end of the twelfth chapter and chapter 13. The title of his sermon, The Beginning of The Valley of The Shadow, exposed a time of darkness in King David’s reign. The painful words surrounding chapter 13 describe the severe repercussions of David’s immorality.

King David, known as a man after God’s own heart, made a dreadful choice which opened the door to immorality and darkness within his family. In 2 Samuel 12 God revealed through Nathan, a prophet, the consequences of David’s adultery with Bathsheba and the premeditated murder of her husband, Uriah.

Standing before the king, Nathan presented his story of the unjust treatment of a poor man—the victim of a rich man. David became irate and wanted justice for the poor man. Finally, Nathan revealed to David that he was the unjust, rich man in his story! Now God, through His prophet, asked David, Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord, doing evil in His sight? You have slain Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife. You have murdered him (2 Samuel 12:7—9).

David publicly dishonored God and disregarded His commandments. God forgave David, but also promised him that the sword would never depart from his house. David would suffer the consequences of his ungodly, abusive behavior. God will always forgive a repentant heart, yet He can and will chasten anyone who dishonors Him. For every choice, there will be consequences.

The darkness in David’s life goes deeper in the next chapter, the sequel to his sinful behavior. King David dishonored God publicly. He did not just fall into sin out of ignorance but made a deliberate immoral choice. Tragically, David’s sons fell into his footsteps. What followed revealed evil scheming, incest, rape, murder, and polygamy. Pastor Tommy Nelson says, Righteousness doesn’t run in the blood—corruption does. It was easier for David’s children to imitate his corruption than his devotion.

Sin has a rippling affect as we can see from the rape of David’s daughter, Tamar, by her half-brother. Since Denton Bible Church offers Abuse Recovery to victims of abuse, the account of Tamar’s experience appears in the first chapter, PORTRAIT OF ABUSE. As you read 2 Samuel 13, you will discover three main characters: the royal children of King David. These adult children of privilege had a bad example in their father which opened the door to an evil darkness.

The three royal children and main characters are:

Amnon: depressed, scheming rapist, and typical abuser

Tamar: innocent victim, beautiful sister of Absalom, and half-sister of Amnon

Absalom: protective big brother of Tamar, half-brother of Amnon, revengeful, and eventually a murderer

The Abuser

All abusers, male or female, may appear to be meek but are aggressive people. Abusers share similar traits: high rates of suspicion and jealousy, sudden and drastic mood swings, poor self-control, and higher than average rates of approval of violence and aggression.

Amnon’s life paints a powerful portrait of an abuser—selfish, cold, uncaring, and scheming.

WHAT WE LEARN FROM AMNON

Abusers will find a way to get what they want even if they must involve, use, and manipulate other people. Typically, abusers often try to gain love, respect, and sympathy from others—even appearing to be the victim.

Abusers are patient as they scheme, watch, and wait for just the right time and circumstance before they strike.

Abusers are often family members who appear to love and care for victims. They will work to gain the trust and confidence of not only those they use, but their intended victims, making them easier targets.

Abusers want privacy. They do their dirty work in private—behind closed doors, in the dark—when or where no outsider can observe their abusive actions.

Abusers pretend to be something they are not—faithful friends, loving spouses, caring parents, helpful siblings, or other family members. They attempt to gain access to unsuspecting victims through deception—some even appear to be faithful Christians. Initially, abusers will tell their victims what they want to hear—words become powerful tools, allowing abusers total control!

Violence or abusive behavior, not part of a person’s DNA, remains every abuser’s choice.

Innocent Victim

If only! This might be the most repeated phrase coming from innocent victims. If Tamar had known Amnon’s evil intent, she could have saved her virginity and self-respect. As it was, Tamar, most likely because of shame and disgrace, isolated herself in her big brother’s house. She lost more than her virginity—Tamar lost her self-esteem and the freedom to be herself.

Tamar questioned her future, What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? (2 Samuel 13:13). Her unanswered question left her reduced to the position of a disposable object.¹

Oddly enough, we never hear or see anything about Tamar again. We can assume she lived out her life in isolation. Shame and disgrace, the result of abuse, can consume victims. Shame reduces the self-worth of victims. Sheila Walsh says the message shame gives you is not that you have done something wrong, but it says you are something wrong. Since abuse sabotages the victim’s reasoning and damages a once tender conscience, the victim accepts the shame and lives it