Flyaway

By Helen Landalf

Stevie Calhoun knows how to take care of herself. It’s not like her mom hasn’t disappeared before. So why is Aunt Mindy making such a big deal of it now? It’s not like Mom’s really doing meth. Stevie makes sure of that. Whatever. She’ll go home with Aunt Mindy if it will keep her from calling Child Protective Services—but it doesn’t mean she’ll stay. Mom will come back. Mom always comes back. And Stevie will be there when she does.But when Stevie meets Alan—frustrating and fascinating and so-different-from-everyone-she-knows Alan—and she starts helping out at the bird rehab center, things begin to look different. Even the tutoring and the ridiculous outfits Aunt Mindy’s forcing her into might not be so bad. Not that Stevie would say it out loud. She can’t. Because how can anything be good if it doesn’t include Mom?

• Language: English
• Publisher: HarperCollins
• Release date: Dec 20, 2011
• ISBN: 9780547677842

Helen Landalf

HELEN LANDALF is a novelist from Seattle, Washington.

Book preview

Copyright © 2011 by Helen Landalf

All rights reserved. For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to [e-mail] or to Permissions, Houghton Mifflin Harcourt Publishing Company, 3 Park Avenue, 19th Floor, New York, New York 10016.

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The Library of Congress has cataloged the print edition as follows:

Landalf, Helen.

Flyaway / by Helen Landalf.

p. cm.

Summary: Seattle fifteen-year-old Stevie Calhoun does not realize how bad her life is until her mother leaves and Stevie must move in with annoyingly perfect Aunt Mindy for a summer, filling her days with being tutored and volunteering at a bird rehabilitation center.

ISBN 978-0-547-51973-9

[1. Family problems—Fiction. 2. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 3. Birds—Protection—Fiction. 4. Wildlife rescue—Fiction. 5. Family life—Washington (State)—Seattle—Fiction. 6. Drug abuse—Fiction. 7. Seattle (Wash.)—Fiction.] I. Title.

PZ7.L231655Fly 2011

[Fic]—dc22

2011009592

eISBN 978-0-547-67784-2

v2.1119

For my mother, Gloria Rimland,

for many years of loving support

Chapter 1

Just when I’m starting to think she might be dead or something, the phone rings. I lunge for it, banging my shin on the coffee table and sending Mom’s ashtray tumbling to the floor. Ashes scatter on the burnt-orange carpet.

Mom?

No answer.

Mom? I say again.

Hello, there. It’s a man’s voice, low and fakey-smooth. At first I’m scared it’s Drake. Then he says, I’m calling from Rainier Collection Services. Is this Ms. J. Calhoun?

I put on my politest voice. Sorry, you must have the wrong number. Then I set the receiver down with a click and remind myself for the zillionth time not to answer without checking the caller ID. Sinking onto the couch, I study the new bruise on my shin, just above the ankle bracelet Mom made me for my birthday last year. I don’t know what I’m getting myself so worked up for. Mom has had to work late plenty of times.

I close my eyes and listen. It’s almost eleven, and the only sounds are the thunk our kitchen clock makes and the swoosh of cars hydroplaning through the lake-size puddle in the street outside. I keep waiting for one of those cars to stop and Mom to come swooping into the apartment with her jasmine-and-cigarette smell and her Hey, honey pie, you still awake ? and her big, husky laugh. But the cars just roll on by.

I’m kind of wishing the Professor would call, take my mind off Mom. A couple of weeks ago he called while Mom was at work, and we argued for like an hour about whether other people really exist or we just make them up in our heads. He thinks we create the whole world in our minds. I say that’s a load of crap, because why would we create a bunch of wars and pollution? He may be the smartest kid at Ballard High, but that doesn’t mean he’s right about everything. It’s probably too late for him to call tonight, though. He’s got school tomorrow.

The quiet in the apartment is starting to creep me out, so I fish the remote from between the couch cushions and turn on the TV. A Family Guy rerun is on the only channel we get, and I’ve seen it like fifty million times. Characters from another show float across the screen like ghosts. I turn it off.

Thunk, says the kitchen clock.

The phone rings again, and this time I remember to check the caller ID. Calhoun, M. Mom’s sister, Mindy. Miss Perfect. Like her house, for example. Perfect white couch, perfect polished wood floor, perfect matching wine glasses. She acts like just because we live in an apartment, we’re a couple of lowlifes. No way am I picking up for her.

When the phone stops ringing, I punch in the number for Mom’s work.

Her boss answers, but I can hardly hear him over the voices and loud music in the background. Wednesday is No-Cover Night at the club; the place is probably packed.

Hi, Alex. It’s me again.

Hey, Stevie-girl. I already told you, your mom’s off tonight.

I thought she might—

Sorry, haven’t seen her since yesterday morning. He clicks his tongue. What’s she doing, leaving you all alone like that?

I force a laugh. Hey, I’m fifteen, remember? I can take care of myself.

Still, that’s awful young for—

Oh, here she is right now. Hi, Mom! I call toward the front door.

Let me talk—

I hang up before he can finish.

Thunk, says the clock.

There is one other place Mom could be. When I grit my teeth and press the button on the caller ID a couple of times, sure enough, the name comes up: Uttley, Drake.

I’ve only ever met him once, but even seeing his name makes my throat go dry. The corn dog and fries I ate for dinner start kicking around in my stomach. Someone shouts out in the street, so I shut the window. But that makes me feel more sweaty, more closed in, so I open it again. I try to make myself pick up the phone and call Drake’s number to see if Mom’s there, but I can’t. I just can’t.

The phone rings again. Aunt Mindy. What does she keep calling for? It’s not like she and Mom are best buddies or anything. She’s only ever been over once that I know of, and that was only to drop off a check. Another time, she lied about us to Child Protective Services, tried to get them to take me away. CPS. They go after parents who tie their kids up in the basement and feed them moldy bread. Still, what if it’s important? What if it’s something about Mom? I reach for the phone, but my heart’s beating so fast I can hardly breathe. I change my mind and let it ring.

All these calls are making me jittery, so I turn on the TV again. There’s an even louder shout outside and then the sound of breaking glass. Every thunk of the kitchen clock makes me worry more about Mom.

Finally I can’t sit still another second, so I decide to clean the apartment and surprise her when she gets home. After I shove the stack of bills inside the drawer ofthe coffee table and arrange the cushions so they hide the purple wine stain on the couch, I find the vacuum wedged behind some boxes at the back of Mom’s bedroom closet and plug it in.

It won’t turn on. I kick it twice, the second time so hard I chip the black polish off my big toenail. That doesn’t do anything but make my toe throb. When I plug it into a different outlet, it makes a noise like a jet plane taking off, but at least it runs. I go over every inch of the apartment. It takes me forever.

But I can’t get rid of Mom’s ashes. I rub and rub and rub at them so hard with the vacuum, I’m surprised I don’t tear the carpet. I get down on my knees and try to scrape them up with my fingernails, but all that does is spread them around and make the tips of my fingers raw. When I sit up and wipe my cheek, I’m surprised to find it’s damp.

I’m just about to give up and put away the vacuum when there’s a knock at the front door. I freeze.

Stevie? someone calls. It’s me, sweetie!

The voice is so much like Mom’s that I rush to the door. Then it hits me who the voice belongs to.

I crack it open, and sure enough, there’s Aunt Mindy.

Chapter 2

Aunt Mindy shoves her way into the apartment and throws herself at me. Her plum-colored exercise outfit—leggings with matching top—is slippery against my bare skin, and she smells like some kind of tropical fruit.

You didn’t answer my calls, she says. I was getting worried.

I wiggle out of her grasp. I was in the shower. What are you doing here, anyway?

She takes one look at my face and says, Oh, sweetheart, you’ve been crying.

I swipe at my eyes. Allergies.

I’d forgotten how much Aunt Mindy looks like Mom. Same curly dark hair, olive-colored skin, and sharp nose as all of us Calhouns. But even though Aunt Mindy is taller than Mom, her hair and body are tight and trim instead of spilling over like foam from a mug of beer. I can’t figure out what she’s doing here, but I’m pretty sure it can’t be good.

Did something happen to Mom? I ask.

She pushes past me and scans the living room. I take it she’s not here.

She’s at work.

I called the club. They said she hasn’t been in since yesterday morning. She shakes her head. Classic June, leaving you alone this time of night.

I frown at her. Why are you bugging her at work?

She looks me up and down, like she’s checking out my outfit: a pair of red and black men’s boxers I picked up at the thrift store and a teeny pink Hello Kitty tank. Mom says I’ve got style, but obviously, Aunt Mindy doesn’t get it. I’m hoping she doesn’t notice the messed-up polish on my big toenail.

She puts her hands on her nonexistent hips. You’re looking thin. Are you getting enough to eat?

I roll my eyes. This is so Aunt Mindy, sticking her big fat nose in our business.

Her leggings make a swishing sound as she bustles into the kitchen. It’s embarrassing, the way they’re so tight you can see the outline of her butt. She pulls open the fridge, peers inside, and shakes her head. I bet you haven’t had a bite of dinner.

I had a corn dog.

She gets this look on her face like I just told her I ate bug snot. "A corn dog? Oh, honey, isn’t she feeding you any vegetables ?"

I got it at the 7-Eleven. And it came with fries. Like it’s any of her business.

I don’t believe it. She has you eating dinner at 7-Eleven while she runs around all hours of the night.

She heads for the living room, and I’m sure she’s about to pick up the phone and call CPS.

I’m right behind her. Don’t.

Don’t what? She stops, and her dark eyes narrow. Where is she, Stevie?

I shrug and stare at my mutant toenail.

"Come on. I know something’s going on here. I heard some disturbing news today about that . . . place she works at. I was hoping it wasn’t true, but—"

What disturbing news ?

She grabs my hand. Tell me the truth, Stevie. Has she been acting different lately? Has she been spending long periods away from home ? Have strange people been calling here ?

No! I jerk my hand away. I don’t know what you’re talking about.

When did you last see her?

I cross my arms over my chest.

She glances toward the phone. I can’t take the chance she might actually pick it up.

Yesterday. I saw her yesterday morning.

Her hand flies to her mouth. You’ve been alone here for two days?

I’m not about to tell her, but it’s actually been three. Leave it to Aunt Mindy to make a federal case out of nothing. It’s not a big deal. I’m totally used to it.

She moves toward the phone, and I’m ready to tackle her if she tries to pick it up. But she passes it to finger the dried-up leaves of the plant on the windowsill. Poor little hydrangea. I bet no one’s watered you in ages.

She’s right about that. Some neighbor lady gave the plant to Mom about a month ago. It’s kind of weird-looking, with these little flowers bunched into round clusters that look like blue popcorn balls nestled in the green leaves. Mom stuck it by the window. I don’t think she’s looked at it since.

It’s just a plant, I say.

She looks at the plant and then at me. Her lips get so thin they pretty much disappear. I’m getting you out of here, Stevie.

No way. I’m not going anywhere.

Either you come with me, or I’ll have to start making some calls. Now go pack your stuff.

I stare at her, trying to figure out if she’ll really do it. Mom’s told me a hundred times that Mindy loves to mess with your mind. Still, I can’t take any chances.

What if Mom comes back and finds me gone ?

Leave her a note. She fishes through her purse and hands me a pen.

I glare at her and pull an envelope from under the coffee table. Mom, I scrawl on the back, At Mindy’s. I sign it S.

Fine, I say as I slap the note next to Mom’s ashtray. I’ll spend the night at your place. But I’m not packing anything, because I’m coming right back here tomorrow.

She lifts the plant off the windowsill. I swear she’s got tears in her eyes. How lame can you get, crying over a stupid plant ?

Actually, she says, I wouldn’t count on that.

---

Get up, Stevie, a voice says way too early the next morning.

For a second I’m not sure where I am. But when I open my eyes and see Aunt Mindy standing over me with an I Love Pilates coffee mug in her hand, it all comes crashing back. I also realize why I slept so well. The bed in her guest room is big and soft, not lumpy like the one I usually sleep on. Still, I’d give anything to be in my own bed right now.

She moves in close, and I can smell coffee on her breath. Come on, lazybones. I’ve got a mat class at eight.

Aunt Mindy owns a Pilates studio, which, as far as me and Mom can tell, is where a bunch of rich ladies go to tighten their butts. Have fun, I mumble, and then pull the blankets over my head.

She pulls them right back off. I’m going to drop you at school on my way.

School. The word hits me with a hollow thump, like the thud a rock makes when you drop it in a deep hole. Can’t go to school, I say. I’m too foggy to be creative, so I go for the oldest excuse in the book. Don’t feel good.

She presses the back of her hand against my forehead. You feel okay to me.

I pinch my thigh hard to make my eyes tear up. Please, not today.

This time her voice is softer. "You’re stressed about your

Reviews for Flyaway

[shahnareads · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

I can't stand this main character. She is such a shallow whiny brat. She isn't relatable at all, and she's stupid. Her mother is a horrible person.

If I knew this kid in school, I'd make fun of her. She's not cool or interesting.

Also, how is that someone with no money can hop on buses constantly? And eat McDonald's for every meal?

She treats her aunt like complete garbage. If my aunt saved me from my shitty mother I would have packed up my shit in a heartbeat and ran out the door never looking back. My mother didn't do drugs, but she was still a shit head. I would have taken any freedom that came to me.

Stevie is a dumb child, a dumb character and she makes me angry. Usually shitty characters redeem themselves.

I also don't think the author understands weather and seasons. July isn't cold. July isn't autumn. It really bothers me that everyone is shivering in the middle of Summer.

[lauramoore_1 · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

I don't know what draws me to addiction type issue books, but this book was really good. It drew me right into the story, and It was a quick, fast-paced read. Stevie is 15 and pretty much an adult in the respect that her mother is never around. She leaves Stevie home with no food, and no money for days at a time, Leaving Stevie to worry and wonder where her mother is. School is optional to Stevie and instead of going to class she waits around for a phone call from her mother to tell her where she is, or waiting for her to walk through the front door. Stevie's aunt Mindy decides that Stevie is going to live with her or she's going to resort to calling child protective servies. Mindy informs Stevie that her mom is addicted to Meth and thats the reason why she's so absent even when she's around. Mindy hold an intervention for her sister which Stevie is completly against, and dosn't think her mom will react well too, but all seems to go well for the time being and she enters rehab, but will she succumb to the temptation as soon as she's home or will she finally remain clean? This story was really heart-breaking. I really felt for Stevie, and couldn't imagine having a mother with such deep-set issues. It really is tragic that kids have to deal with such things. If you like issue-packed contemporaries then I definitely think you should pick this one up. It hasn't recieved a lot of attention, but I think it should, because it was a really well-written book.

[booktwirps · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

Stevie would do anything for her mother. They’re a team, best friends; always there for each other. They’ve never had a perfect life. They move around a lot, and Stevie’s mom has trouble paying the bills and putting food on the table, but Stevie knows she’s doing the best she can. One day things will change and her mother’s jewelry business will take off and they’ll finally be able to build their dream house. When Stevie’s mom starts dating a new man she met at the club she dances at, she starts disappearing for days. Stevie stops going to school until, finally, her mother’s sister, Stevie’s aunt Mindy steps in and takes Stevie to live with her. Stevie doesn’t care much for Mindy’s perfect house or her perfect life, and she especially hates how she speaks of her mother. She just wants her mom to come home so she can move back into their apartment and go on with their lives. Eventually, Stevie has to admit that Mindy is right – her mother has a meth addiction and she needs help. Rehab is just the beginning, and if it doesn’t work, Stevie may end up losing the only person she cares about. Flyaway is a descent read with a good message, but it just didn’t carry the emotional punch that I expected. After reading Laura Wiess’, Ordinary Beauty, which deals with similar themes of a mother addicted to meth, I was left breathless. That book still resonates deeply with me. This one didn’t have the same effect. It’s a short book, and I felt like it could have been fleshed out a bit more. Ms. Landalf’s writing is adequate, and flows nicely, and the metaphor of the baby bird Stevie finds and rescues is a nice touch. The characters were all believable, though I did feel that Stevie was a bit of an unreasonable brat at times. I didn’t really connect with her. I understand she is in pain, but it seemed a bit uncontrolled. All in all it’s a descent read, but if you’re looking for something with more of a punch, check out Ordinary Beauty. You won’t be sorry. (Review based on an Advanced Reader’s Copy courtesy of publisher via NetGalley)

[wilowraven · Rating: 4 out of 5 stars]

Flyway is a dramatic contemporary story that I pretty much read in one sitting. It was very easy to get sucked into Stevie's life and story and it was very hard to push her to the side, even for a short time. She's a pretty demanding character. Full of issues and really not sure of herself at all, I found myself liking her, even though I really didn't want to.Stevie has a life that nobody would want. Her mother is a drug addict and Stevie worships her. She would do anything for her mother and at times this was frustrating. She made excuses and she covered things up because all she wanted was to have her mother home. I wanted her to get mad, but she never did. I wanted her mother to have to pay for actions but that doesn't really happen either. When it comes down to it, Flyway is about a young girl's struggle with addiction - even though it isn't her own. There is no real redemption for Stevie's mother but this isn't her story - it's Stevie's. We view everything through her eyes and even thought she fillers a lot of her life, it's hard not to feel for her in the end. I wanted to scream at her for her tolerance of her mother's behavior but at the same time, I wanted someone to be there to take care of her. A really good read for me. I can't say I loved every character (Stevie's aunt got on my nerves) but I very much enjoyed the story as a whole. I'm not at all familiar with drug addiction and how it affects families so I can't speak to the accuracy of the scenarios but I can say that the depth of feeling that these characters experiences felt real to me.

[amusingmother · Rating: 3 out of 5 stars]

This is a quick and easy read targeting children of parents with addiction problems and lacking a stable home environment. Stevie has been living with her mother in precarious situations for many years. Her mother does what she pleases and Stevie is left to fend for herself which neither find a problem with this setup. Inevitably, one day her mother doesn't come home and Stevie's aunt shows up to take her to her own home. Stevie and Aunt Mindy struggle and clash as they redefine their relationship. Stevie is also always hoping her mother will return. Regardless that she is a crappy mother, she is her mother.To add depth to the story, the author has included metaphors in juxtaposition of Stevie's life. Stevie finds an injured bird and helps another troubled youth transport it to a bird preserve where Stevie volunteers to help so she can keep an eye on the injured bird and its progress. She learns a lot about caretaking and giving the birds enough space to spread their wings and experiment in a safe environment until they heal. Sometimes the birds can't be saved. Their injuries are too extensive.It's a sweet story with the realities of a population of children that are transient yet a parent is often present if not responsible or missing for days or weeks on end. I liked it quite a bit.

[summerskris_1 · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Flyaway is the story of Stevie Calhoun as she struggles with her mother’s addiction to meth and her growing sense of what is right. It’s always been Stevie and her mom. While the rest of the world strives in vain for Barbie looks and/or is out to get them, Stevie and her mom eat fast food and buy cool outfits from the thrift shop, and Stevie’s mom encourages her not to be tied down by society. It’s clear from the beginning that Stevie idolizes her mom. However, her mom has been missing for a couple days now, and her aunt Mindy threatens to call childcare if Stevie doesn’t come live with her.Initially, Stevie resents her perfect aunt, and it’s perfectly understandable. Not only does Aunt Mindy take control of Stevie’s life, she can’t say anything nice about Stevie’s mother, aka her own sister. Mindy often speaks to Stevie without considering Stevie’s feelings, such as her suspicions that her sister addicted to crystal meth even though she has no evidence.Stevie will frustrate you because of her unwillingness to accept that she can make a home without her mother. However, Landalf does a wonderful job of portraying Stevie’s emotions so that you empathize with what she’s going through. While I recognized that Aunt Mindy only wants the best for Stevie, I couldn’t help hating her for ‘assuming’ (rightfully) that she knew what Stevie needed. Aunt Mindy hasn’t had much experience raising a child, and Stevie hates anyone who talks against her mom. At first, the two of them try to move at their own pace without regard for the other’s feelings, but over time you can see a new family form.I loved how On the Wing both provides Stevie a place of refuge as well as a unique setting in the story. A place for birds to recuperate before being released back into the wild, it’s where Stevie can escape the confusing events taking place around her. It’s also where she grows closer to Alan, a boy with a bad reputation and yet who’s gentle around birds, and to understanding how she wants to live her life. In a way, the birds represent the two of them, struggling to escape their problems before they get hurt.While Stevie’s mother has a large negative impact on her life, this is not a story of the breaking relationship between a girl and her mother. It’s a story of healing and learning to recognize true love in a person’s actions, not the words she says to appease you. Flyaway explores the story of a teenage girl trying to find a place in the world while going through the denial that her mother is a drug addict. I recommend Flyaway to those looking for a contemporary read that looks into the influence of drugs in the lives of teenagers and yet possesses a strong, clear voice that doesn’t lose hope in the darker themes found in this book.